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im 16 years old and 8 months pregnant..my boyfriend ..which is the father and is 19..wont have anything to do with me..he wont even touch me anymore yea he comes over every now and then but he doesnt stay long..it breaks my heart because i love him so much..he says he loves me but it definately doesnt feel like it..what can i do? (link)
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Hello there,
I am sorry to hear this. Here's something I have learned over time: Love has very little to do with what we say and everything to do with what we DO.
If he doesn't ACT like he loves you, then he doesn't.
What do your parents have to say about this?
Are they willing to help with the baby?
Are you ready to raise a baby?
Have you talked to anyone about adoption if you decided against raising your child.
It is considered statutory rape in this state, just the age difference will be enough to land him in jail.
Love isn't sex. Love is just exactly what you are involved in now. Love is doing the right things of your own free will. He isn't loving you like he should.
It is possible that he has been using you for sex. Many men (He isn't a boy, he is legally an adult) will say anything to get sex. After that, they don't care.
There are good men out there. The only way to find one is to say NO to sex and see who stays and loves YOU just for being YOU.
If you need more help, you may e-mail me directly at:
dangernerd@gmail.com
DangerNerd.
P.S. Don't be confused. If he doesn't act towards you in a loving way, then he is lying when he says he loves you. It is just that simple.
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yeah i went to our softball/baseball fields for the WHOLE day today and i have the worst fricken sunburn on my most sensitive shoulder right now and I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO! it hurts WICKED bad! is there anything else to put on it besides aloe or burn cream because that isnt doin much right now! ANSWER ASAP! thx!
(link)
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Hello there,
I had the WORST sunburn of my life when I was about 7 years old. For cooling the skin, my mother applied Noxema.
You won't believe how good it feels until you try it.
Not the kind in the squeeze tube, the kind in the blue tub/jar.
Once it starts to dry up, wash with cool water and repeat as often as you care to.
Once you have that under control, keeping the skin moist with REAL Aloe vera, as it the plant, is the best I have yet found for keeping the skin moist and helping it heal.
When I say real Aloe, I mean getting the leaves off the plant and filleting them open like a fish then applying the inner surface to the skin.
If you can't get this, the local health food store should have stuff called AlVera. It comes in a brown glass bottle, and is nothing but pure Aloe pulp. Awesome stuff, and quite inexpensive. $10-13 per QUART!
Been there, Burned that... :-)
DangerNerd.
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I have Norton Anti-Virus and recently I decided to download AOL instant messenger because it is the best way to keep in touch with my GreatestJournal friends. I was signing in for the first time when a Norton Anti-Virus alert came up asking if I wanted to block the connection to AIM, I accidently clicked yes. Now I can't connect to AIM. I have tried uninstalling it and reinstalling it again but it still wont let me connect to it. I have looked through Norton to try and find an option to unblock it but I haven't found anything. Does anyone know how I can unblock AIM? (link)
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Hello there,
This is a very, VERY common problem. I have done it myself.
While I no longer use Norton, I did look up a pictorial step by step for you:
http://www.alamode.com/tech/htm/4328-norton_2005_security_settings.htm
... This is one of those problems that a google search might be faster in resolving, here is what I used: "unblocking something in norton internet security"
... Without the quotes.
DangerNerd.
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well, call me stupid, but i dont know very much about computers. all i know is that when i put the disc in, it doesnt auto-run, and then i was told to go to my computr, and find the drive its on, but that doesnt help, because this computer is nothing like my old one. it's more complicated. well, if you have an AIM account, im online alot(right now) at mikelly4039, and my email adress is spitfire9631@yahoo.com- if that helps to contact me easier. thank you so so much.
xoxo,
kelly (link)
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Hello again,
If your computer is running Windows, do this:
Click the start button, then "my computer" then double-click the drive the CD is in, probably "D:"
Look for a file named setup.exe, or install.exe and double-click it.
Everything else should be self explanatory.
If your computer is a Macintosh or is running Linux, then you cannot play the game at all.
If you have a PS2, I hear the game is better there anyway. ;-)
DangerNerd.
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you seem smart.
i'm fifteen.
two years ago, i was anorexic. and all of the baggage that comes along with starving yourself.
now, i have re-learned how to eat. by myself.
but there are still some lingering doubts. i still lie, not about food, about other things, instead. maybe people like me better when i'm frailer? weaker? hating myself more?
how can you tell who it's ok to trust? should trust even be this big of a deal? do you think i scare people away, or do i scare myself awya from people? (link)
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Hello there,
I am very proud of you for accomplishing what so few others do. You have pulled yourself a pit that swallows many lives.
The lies can be fixed with time, it is kind of a hard thing to do all at once. The best way is this: Start telling the truth each time it pops into your head to lie about something. If it offends someone, oh well. The truth is the truth.
As for people liking you better when you are weaker... It is quite possible.
You see there are people, many people, who like to have people around that make them feel superior. To those people, the more screwed up YOUR life is, the better it makes THEM feel about their screwed up life.
The more you hate yourself the better they like it. This mostly goes for girls, though guys do the same thing in other ways...
Example: A guy gets a halfway decent car, does he:
A) Go try and get in the car club with the top of the line cars, even though his will look kind of shabby next to them?
B) Surround himself with other guys that have cars which make his look better than it really is?
C) Be his own person, enjoy his car, and not worry about how cool anybody else thinks it is?
The answer is almost always "B."
The same thing happens with girls getting used to their bodies.
If you are a leader, you may seek other people which make you feel better about yourself.
If you are a follower, you may go with whatever group appears to be your "friend."
The answer, is of course "C." Don't make yourself into a sad creature that other people feel better having around!
If you are a type "C" girl, then others in your former state of affairs may cling to you in an effort to feel better about their status. Don't use them like people used you. Help them grow into their own type "C." The world is a much better place when we are all comfortable in our own skin.
As far as feeling the need to be skinny... Well, you just have to decide who you believe: The media, or your body. You can be EXTREMELY fat and live a long relatively healthy life, but if you do the skinny as a death camp survivor thing, your body literally eats itself from the inside out causing damage that may never be repaired.
If you get too fat, you exercise a bit more and off the weight comes. (Diets are bullshit)
You get too skinny, you die. Big difference.
As far as trust goes... That is a tough one.
I have dealt with this like so:
Who do you really HAVE to trust? Your parents, God, maybe your siblings and eventually your spouse.
You don't have any real need to trust anyone else.
Most people don't know how to keep confidence. What I mean is: "I heard so and so say BLAH about such and such. She said not to tell anyone, so don't tell anyone." She has betrayed the confidence of "so and so" by telling you.
Does she mean to cause harm? Probably not.
She simply doesn't know that it is IMPORTANT to keep her word. Very, very few people these days know the importance of that.
If you tell someone something, test them out with something unimportant. See how long it takes to get back to you.
Something else to consider about trust:
We are born with it, and keep it until we lose it. A baby has trust and love for everyone. Think about that.
Something happened to you that has harmed your ability to trust. Do you know what it was?
If you do, then you may be able to undo the harm by telling yourself that you can't be harmed again in that manner. Then make sure that you never allow yourself to be in that position again.
If you don't know what it was and you don't know how to, or want to find out, then start fresh.
Start by trusting someone with something small. If they keep it, WONDERFUL, if they don't, then you realize that they aren't a responsible person like you are, and you move along.
I always make it a point to tell people when they have violated my trust. Some are utterly horrified to realize that what you entrusted to them was important to you. It never even occurred to them. You may greatly help someone else this way.
Some others are offended that you are upset about their betrayal. These are the really bad ones, and are never to be trusted again, for anything, no matter what else happens.
Trust only comes with time and PROOF that you can trust someone. Don't let anyone abuse your trust. If you do, then you end up right back where you have been.
Do you scare yourself away from people or do you scare them away from you? Yes. :-)
If you don't feel good enough about yourself to be around other people and are afraid to trust anyone even a little, then you scare yourself away from people.
If you come back from a disease that terrifies these people and become your own person in the process, you then become a powerful confident young woman. Some people will be threatened by this. Those are the people you don't want around you anyway, as they are the ones we talked about earlier... The ones that like it when you are sick and thin, and near death.
Suddenly you are the one making them feel inferior, and they do NOT like that. ;-)
They will make up things about you, try to hurt you, and run you down to their circle of miserable wretches they have gathered around themselves... All in an effort to make themselves feel better than you and restore what THEY think the social order should be.
Those are the only people that will be afraid of you. Oh, and boys that are looking for a girl they can push around and beat up. You didn't want one of those anyway though, did you? ;-)
You are a prize jewel among women in that you have overcome BY YOURSELF what others do not overcome with all the help in the world. Don't be discouraged. You have already won the hardest fight, all the other stuff is going to be easy. ;-)
DangerNerd.
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i need step by step instructions onhow to install silent hill 3!i know almost nothingabout computers but i wanna play this game so bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!please help me! (link)
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Hello there,
Here is what I know about installing that game: It is a bad time for many people.
Rather than going through a step by step, let's see if we can get to the problem:
1) You put in the first disc.
2) It either auto-runs or you run the setup.exe file on the disc.
3) It should prompt you to put in each of the other four discs one after the other.
4) You run the game.
Now, where in the process does this all break down?
If it installs ok but you can't run it, then the first question is: What kind of video card do you have?
If it is any of the geForce MX chips, you aren't going to get the game to run correctly without an upgrade.
If you are running a graphics card that doesn't support Vertex pixel shading, then the same thing applies.
Why did they put this game out like this?
It was released on the PS2 first... Then they ported (rebuilt it to run on) to the PC. When they did it, they took the lazy way out and said basically: "If your video card can't do all the things a PS2 video chip can, then screw you."
If you can give me more info, I may be able to help you further, but just like 7 out of 10 people who try, you may not be able to play this game without upgrading your computer.
Konami, lost any future business with me over this game.
DangerNerd.
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Hey, I have been arguing with you in the moderator discussion board, and I think you and me are right in what we are saying. Do you think there is anyway we can try to convince such "higher" authorities to sit downa nd actually listen to what we have to say, rather than brushing it off their shoulders and moving on? I am getting sick of this site again. Last time me and the owner really went at it through e-mails and such. I dont want to see a decent site go down and they arent helping. What to do.....what to do....sigh.... (link)
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Hello there,
Having thought about this a great deal, I have decided to see where things stand in 30 days.
I am ALMOST out of things to say in that thread, and have little hope that Mr. 'It's not like we are getting paid...' will do anything constructive.
Barring any actual comments more intelligent than 'it wasn't a priority' or '...it has all been said before' I will be left to think either he is not interested in making this work, or doesn't have the skill to make the needed changes happen, and is using all the verbage to cover his lack of care/talent.
I am waiting to hear from the Big Boss. If she is of the same mind, then I give up.
It would be SO easy to fix this situation. Open source the software under GNU/GPL and let people help where it would really count. If they are holding the code, then any effort we make to prolong the life of this site will only line someone else's pockets in the long run.
I never thought of SpaceFem that way, but times and people change I guess.
I find that this is causing me a great deal of stress. Stress I don't need.
You know as well as I do that when the discussion hits the patronizing point, there is no use in further discussion.
I view the inference that it has all been talked about before, as insulting and patronizing.
If it has been talked about before, LOVELY, but it obvioulsy did not get fixed. So lets do it. If it has been talked out to a DECISION, then just state what that is and give people the opportunity to make it happen.
Shutting people up with condescending garbage like that is a self defense mechanism employed by people who have no ability to make a valid argument.
They can't think of anything intelligent to add, so they belittle the importance of those who raise points they are ill equipped to address.
If we leave, or start giving garbage answers, they win. If we stay for more abuse and lie festival, we risk drowning in their bullshit.
It can be fixed. I think if the real Boss of the outfit is interested in letting people help with code, then it will get fixed. If not, all will remain the same.
Enough mental energy has been spent on this until that info is made known.
Imagine this: Your drumline... One person plays 4/4 no matter what you call for. Turns out he is the dean's son. You can work around him or leave your job. No other things are possible.
Here we have the same situation. If we don't play their way, they take their ball and go home.
If the moderators are spoiled children, then that is what the site will attract. Last chance to find out if they are kids throwing a tantrum.
I will wait for the final word.
Then I will get back with you, if I am able.
Send an e-mail to:
dangernerd@gmail.com
... I will do it myself if they don't come around.
DangerNerd.
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I have a HP printer. It hates me. It has new ink, is properly connected to the computer. I can only make it work for a few days at a time. It currently just spits out artifacts.
I have deleted the software and reloaded several times. I have run virus software and then reloaded software. I am currently ready to throw the printer out the window. Can you hand me a clue? (link)
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Hello there,
I will need the model number, your operating system and the method of connection: USB or Parallel before I can be of much help.
I can tell you that I have received a number of HP deskjets which were intermittent at best and DOA at worst. If this is a recent acquisition, you may be in a position to get one that actually works.
Ask again with the requested info and I will do my best to assist you.
DangerNerd.
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Glad to see you answering some of the run of the mill questions! Some are still pretty stupid but some need advice from the "older crowd" around here! I like reading your answers myself. Welcome to the nightmare! :) (link)
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Hello Anonymous,
Thank you for the welcome, and the kind words.
I try to avoid the truly run of the mill, in favor of the honestly seeking help variety.
Occasionally the line blurs.
I don't really believe that nobody else knows "if you can get pregnant the first time..." As such, there is no real reason to answer those.
It was just today that it dawned on me: My peers, are these people's parents.
Having met my peers, it is safe to say that many aren't in a position to give advice to their children. Most I know have yet to get a handle on their own lives.
I shudder to think what would happen if the current trend goes unabated. Picture two generations from now. Surely this MUST be the end of the world. :-(
Around here, the older crowd is 17! Heck, you should be required to retain a historian when viewing my profile... I am 35 after all.
I'll do my best.
Thanks again,
DangerNerd.
P.S. I would address your merits, but I don't know who you are.
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So you've been a computer technian since you were twelve? (link)
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Hello there,
I was born in 1970.
In 1982 CBM (Commodore Business Machines) released the Commodore 64. That same year I began installing reset switches and designing my own modifications for this, the best selling computer of all time. (A record which is still held to this day.)
Ordinarily this wouldn't be the big story, but I finished high-school at 12. My parents put me up in my own computer repair business at 13.
From that day to this, computers have been the main career focus of my life.
In other words, yes. :-)
Thank you for asking,
DangerNerd.
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Okay.. none of my friends were help on this. See if any of you are!
I've been with this guy for almost 2 months. He's in LOVE with me and totally obsessed. I hate clingy guys and I'm sick of him. He calls like .. 5 times a day.. AT LEAST .. and is Always wanting to hang out. I barely have time for my girls with him around!
I need a way to break up with him so he won't be too upset, and he will still be friends with me. I still like him, and i've already told him he's too obsessive, but it didn't help any! I need a way to let him down gently!
!mucho amor! (link)
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Here's the feedback: "Good advice, but your makin me feel bad! I'm only 14!"
... SO I say this: When you are 19, you will feel differently about this. I'd bet you money on that. ;-) No reason to feel bad. It sounds like he is really interested in a serious relationship and you are kinda playing him until you get tired of him. (Which you have.)
Best to just tell him outright: "Dude, I am not ready for this. I thought it would work, but you want more out of this relationship than I do. I just want a good time with no emotional commitment."
That should clear it right up for him.
DangerNerd.
Original:
Hello there,
What is really interesting about this:
Most women feel that the men in their lives don't even notice them unless they want sex. These same women would love to have the problem you have.
Usually it is men who complain about women who will not leave them in peace long enough to shoot pool with the boys. :-)
Ok, it is entirely possible that he really doesn't understand EXACTLY what it is that he does to annoy you.
I know, I know, it seems obvious to you, and you can't possibly understand why he doesn't "get it," but it is true.
I suggest you write a letter in the kindest, non-bitchy, tone possible listing exactly what he does that bothers you. If there is any love in you for him, then also list exactly what he would have to do to stay with you.
If he can't do those things, he'll know he has to go. If you spell it out for him like this and he still will not leave, call the police and tell them you are being stalked.
With all that said and done, I would ask you a favor:
When the day comes that all of your "girls" have gone on to do other things and no longer talk to you, think back on the guy you dumped because he loved you "too much" and wanted to spend too much time with you. See how you feel about this in five years. ;-)
DangerNerd.
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what would be a good rock ringtone for my phone..i can't choose cause i can only have 1 more. (link)
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The immagrant song... Led Zepplin.
DangerNerd.
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in a month i have to live with my sister because i have no dad and my mom has 1 month left ...im only 14 and i just found out my sis smokes weed and shit wit her ex(father of her kids)....i found that out say last week...now today her kids (1+3) were in the car and she ran in the house because she stopped by for a lil quick visit and out my window i heard my nephew cryin so i ran out there and her car smelled of weed and i know her ex was in the car previously because ..well thats not important but it was horrible and i kno her ex is gettin her into all this shit bc she neva used to be like this til she met him i just wanna figure out a way to like get him away from her like have some of my friends as old as him to kick his ass or sumthin..........plz help me figure out a way to get him out of the picture i cant have my neice and nephew go through this... (link)
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Hello there,
I used to try to "save" people from stupid relationships... Then I figured out they didn't want to be saved.
There's nothing you can do to change her mind until she wakes up and realizes what she is doing. Then if he won't leave you can round up your posse... ;-)
DangerNerd.
P.S. If you know where his drugs are, just call and report him. Every time he gets out of jail, report him again. Eventually your sister may get tired of waiting on him. :-)
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When you sit on a guy's lap and fool around some, is it normal to feel something throbbing underneath? My friend says it happens all the time when guys get erections but I just wanted to make sure.. (link)
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Hello there,
The answer is yes.
May I suggest that if you had to ask this question, maybe it isn't yet time for you to be "fooling around?"
This is very basic info. There are many things you need to know before this goes any further.
Just a thought.
DangerNerd.
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My daughter is 4 years old. Now she is in K1. For the past three years she was in a day care centre. Its been two semester now in the new scool and my daughter is still crying. In fact at first it was only in the mornings but lately the teacher has informed me that she cires for the whole day. I don't undertand . After all she was ok in the day care. I doubt if she is still adapting to her environment for it's been 2 semester now. She is very bright and when i ask her whats wrong or if she doesnt like the school or the teacher she tends to disregard the questions and leave my questions unanswered. The teacher thinks perhaps something at home is causing her to feel this way but she gets everything she wants yet remain unspoiled. She has a very loving family with no conflicts. I do not understand i'm desperate i can see the teacher's fustration causing her work to be difficult What shall i do (link)
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I don't know that this has any bearing on anything but please at least consider it:
I seem to recall hearing of a similar SOUNDING situation: The McMartin preschool case.
The way they discovered that aweful place was what it was: More than one child went to a new school and cried full time for no reason that could be explained by the child.
Eventually one child broke down and told what happened. :-(
There's more, but it is ugly.
I hope that this isn't the case, but you MUST at least consider the possibility.
4 year olds don't cry without reason. Something at the new school, or something left over from the old school is just breaking her heart.
We'll pray for you,
DangerNerd.
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Dear All,
I Hope you can offer some advice here. This is an extremely disturbing story.
Recently my Friend Angela started displaying some weird behaviour. First of all she accused my boyfriend of having sex with my best friend. I did not believe her as i totally trust my man. Anyway- we were not talking to her because of this and other malicious accusations towards my Boyfriend, and general nasty things about me.
So then its my friends wedding reception. Angela turns up dressed like the bride of Dracula and proceeds to walk around the reception telling people to watch out for my Boyfriend etc.
Then she text my Boyfriend (David) and asked him to come over to the house at 5.30 in the morning- which he did as he was worried. She apologised to him and said the real reason she had invited him round was because she needed his help on a mission, and there was a glitch in the Matrix!
I went round to her house later in the morning and she just went mad- saying that her boyfriend who she had recently dumped was a peodiphile but she had to go out with him so that she could prove he was and get him arrested. The reason for this was that she was a "Cleaner" and sent by God to get rid of all the "Black Cherries" in the village. She also said (and this is the disturbing part) that she had to examine a little girl and do Reikki on her because of what had happened to her. And that there was a cult in the village but she had nailed the leader due to the secret work she had been undertaking for the headquarters in Bedford.
Anyway- as you can imagine all this was very disturbing for me and David. She also said that she had been sleeping with David and me(!) behind everyones back which is totally ridiculous as i am straight, but she really believed it to be true.
She also thinks her name is TRINITY and the end of time is coming soon so thats why God has sent her on a mission to sniff out all the bad cherries and get revenge on them.And that i work for the devil etc etc etc
I could go on and on but i wont as you can see this is not normal behaviour!
What should i do- im disturbed about the peadophile thing and she also has 3 children - she sent me a text message saying "Hello Charlotte (the little girl) Sugar Princess- Ive got your Dummer" This is really scaring me and i dont know what to do- please help! I need some sound advice! She is Crazy and im worried what she will do or say next.
Thanks
Katy (link)
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Hello Katy,
Insanity is an ugly business. This sounds like the product of satanic ritual abuse. (There is much to read about this on the net.) If you are in the least questioning if you SHOULD do something, there is no question: If you don't do something, those children's lives may be over shortly.
I would record as many calls, txts, emails, IMs, as you have on hand, and as many new as come while you are dealing with this.
Get in touch with the police. Not tomorrow, today. Tomorrow may be too late. How would you feel if she thought one of the children was a "bad cherry" and killed them while you sat by and did nothing? I personally couldn't live with myself.
Also get in touch with child protective services. They may be a terrible organization, but far better than this situation. (I have been through that system, but it's better than this.)
If you know this woman's parents, I would get ahold of them and ask them what they think. If her parents seem a little freaky, then pass on this as that could very well be where the abuse occurred.
You can know she's 100% full of it with the one thought: "Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord." He doesn't send people to get revenge.
As far as the exorcism advice, well, that may not be wholly wrong. Before the Vatican will consent to such a thing, she will have to be tested by all kinds of psychiatric personnel, so you would be helping in that direction by getting her in front of said personnel as soon as possible.
Some psychologist is just hoping for a case like this, as there is definitely a book in it.
No matter what you do, do it NOW. Everyone loses if you wait.
DangerNerd.
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do you realy think true love still exist?And do trust for guys do? (link)
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Hello there,
I have been married 8 years as of March, and I can tell you that true love exists.
I can tell you how to find it:
Don't have sex with anyone until they promise to be with you forever. (Rings, wedding, the whole thing.)
Tell a boy that you will not have sex with him, and see how long he stays around. That will make it easy to sort the good from the bad.
As far as trusting guys... Look at what they have done to others, and expect them to do the same thing to you. You will know right away if you should trust him or not by learning from other people's mistakes.
DangerNerd.
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A while ago my phsycologist said that i had really bad ADHD and its ruining my life. For example, it took me four hours to do a language arts assignment that it took the rest of my class 1 hour. Heres my problem: my cousin also had ADHD and they put him on medication. Later, they found that hewas abusing the medicine and taking way too much so they sent him to a re-habbilitation home. Now my mom wont let the doctors prescribe me any medication because she thinks ill wind up the same way that he did. is there anything i can do? (link)
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************I AM NOT A DOCTOR!*************
Hello there,
Your Mom should be just fine with these:
http://www.nativeremedies.com/
http://cellhealthmakeover.com/addh.html
... these are all natural, non addictive, and is reported to work wonders.
Something to remember: In the 70's they would have just called you hyper. Now they want to drug you.
The drugs are worse than being hyper and have effects lasting into adulthood.
The natural way would be the way to go for me, safe, harmless and gets the job done. (Read the reviews.)
DangerNerd.
************I AM NOT A DOCTOR!*************
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do foster homes keep brothers and sisters together (link)
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Hello there,
It depends of many things, but mostly the foster home. Some only have space/time for one child, some have the ability to care for two.
I think it also depends on if the situation is temporary, like you are going back to your parents in a while, but for right now something happened and you need to get away.
You should always ask to be kept together if at all possible. Make sure both of you ask them all the time. :-)
DangerNerd.
P.S. I was in a foster home... More than one... And if you get into a bad situation, you tell everybody. I mean everybody, teachers, police, doctors, people in the laundromat, anyone who will listen. Don't stay in a place where you don't feel safe.
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Where can I download a free animator? Don't say Animation Shop 3, 'cause I've downloaded and expired my time. i don't have the money to buy an animator, so if you could please give me exact links because Google isn't being helpful right now. Thanks!
- Icon maker (link)
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Hello Icon Maker,
Have you tried:
http://www.gifworks.com/
...yet?
It is on-line based, and free.
There is also the venerable MS-gif animator. It was from 95, but seems to run OK in Windows XP:
http://www.jhepple.com/gif_animator.htm
...then there is:
http://www.whitsoftdev.com/unfreez/
...all of this was found with a google search for:
"free gif animator" (without the quotes.)
DangerNerd.
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