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Crying at school
My daughter is 4 years old. Now she is in K1. For the past three years she was in a day care centre. Its been two semester now in the new scool and my daughter is still crying. In fact at first it was only in the mornings but lately the teacher has informed me that she cires for the whole day. I don't undertand . After all she was ok in the day care. I doubt if she is still adapting to her environment for it's been 2 semester now. She is very bright and when i ask her whats wrong or if she doesnt like the school or the teacher she tends to disregard the questions and leave my questions unanswered. The teacher thinks perhaps something at home is causing her to feel this way but she gets everything she wants yet remain unspoiled. She has a very loving family with no conflicts. I do not understand i'm desperate i can see the teacher's fustration causing her work to be difficult What shall i do
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You should get your child into therapy. There could be many, many things going on. She might be having problems with bullying (yes even at that young age), she may even be being sexually abused and too ashamed to tell you. Most young children who are sexually abused avoid answering questions about it. Of course, she may just be sufferning from a majority of things like seperation anxiety, or lonliness. Whatever it is, it is not normal, and unless you get her into therepy to find out whats bothering her and hep her talk about it, to may have a strong negative affect on it as she grows older. Children that young are affected and shaped by their surroundings, and can be easily tramautized, causing them to be shy, withdrawn, or depressed as they grow older.
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Dear mom,
I read your question this AM, but wanted to give it some thought before I replied, so I do hope you check back. I know you must be very anxious, and I realize that you don't want to go to school and get her when she cries because that kind of defeats the purpose. Something is definitly bothering her, and it may take some sleuthing on your part to find out. It may be that she is worried about something grown-up, and you don't realize it. Kids sometimes worry about the weirdest things. And we are suprised to find out that they were even thinking about it. Sometimes we say things at home, within ear shot of the kids, and don't realize it. They take things out of context, or take them for face value, and get upset, but they really have the wrong idea. It could be that she is anxious for you. It could be that she is worried about you. How is your job? Have you complained about your job at home? Have you comlained about some one at work, at home where she could here you? DO you have a dangerous job?, Or does she think that you do? We there a traumatic event in your lives just before she started, or soon after she started Kindergarten? Did you loose a family member. You are right in thinking that she got used to PreK and she should be used to Kindergarten by now, as long as you have ruled out nasty kids who might be picking on her, and that there is no problem with the teacher. Is she anxious at home about being away from your side? Since she does not answer your questions about liking the school or the teacher, and that could be an opportunity for her to tell you that she hates it hoping you will let her stay home, I think it is something else.
I may help for you two to sit down, get comfortable, and start talking about anything and everything and things that don't matter, and then bring up things that do matter, or that could matter. Ask her if she worries about mommy during the day. Ask her if she worries about daddy,or anyone else for that matter that she may be close to. Has she been exposed to any of the violence and talk of war on TV? If so, ask her if she is worried about War or dieing.
This is going to be like peeling an onion. Until you get to the bottom of it. But it will take gentle prodding from you.
Also have you ruled out any allergies. Some children are very much allergic to some foods, and they can cause mood swings. YOu can determine this by making sure that the foods she eats in school are the same ones she eats at home. I hope this helps.
Michele
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Hey Ya kno what? my lil brother had the same exact problem and hes in Grade Now. I dont know bout ur kid but my lil bro was crying constantly n we let him meet a friend and they became tight and now he loves goin to school! So mayb Seh just wants a friend you kno? hopes diz Helped
luv ya much0 $hereen
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Well, the problem could be that she is not emotionally mature enough to be attending K1. I'm not in anyway insinuating that she is less intelligent, but some younger children feel overwhelmed if they aren't emotionally ready yet. I know my parents had this problem with me, the teachers thought I was intelligent enough to go one with attending school and I was absolutely a wreck. Unfortunately we often don't take into account that each child matures at a different level, she may need another year of being in day care or staying home before she is ready to attend school.
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I don't know that this has any bearing on anything but please at least consider it:
I seem to recall hearing of a similar SOUNDING situation: The McMartin preschool case.
The way they discovered that aweful place was what it was: More than one child went to a new school and cried full time for no reason that could be explained by the child.
Eventually one child broke down and told what happened. :-(
There's more, but it is ugly.
I hope that this isn't the case, but you MUST at least consider the possibility.
4 year olds don't cry without reason. Something at the new school, or something left over from the old school is just breaking her heart.
We'll pray for you,
DangerNerd.
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That's tough! Is there a way that you can very discreetly go to your daughters school and observe her without her really noticing you? What about her situation with friends at school - does she have at least a few, and do you know them? Do you see her with her school friends, playing etc.? As long as she does then you can at least rule out her interaction with the other children.
Also what about her sleep pattern? Is that pretty regular? Something must be upsetting her or tiring her out. Maybe you could ask the teacher to call you the next time she starts crying and you could go up to her school right then to talk to her about it. If she is leaving your questions unanswered when you ask at home, it could be because it simply isnt on her mind at the time.
I hope it gets better for her, and you soon! Good luck!
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