about

I'm an 29 year old guy.
I'll always do my best to give well considered and sincere advice - give me your best shot. P.S. Don't be afraid to ask me private questions, I rarely spend a lot of time answering non-private questions.

o.o There is apparently a FORUM for me if you would like to talk about random non-advice stuff. Take off your shoes!

advice

I'm getting advice for my friend.. Ok, well my friend is going out with this great guy, adn when she told her mom that he liked her.. She ssaid taht she should only be friends with him.. How can she tell her mom they are going out without hurting her feelings???

She should ask her mother why she can only be friends with him. If he really is a great guy, then maybe her mother would be cool with her going out with him. See if her mother will let a "friend" come over =P then see if he can charm her.
If her mother likes him, then get him to ask for permission to go out with her daughter.
There's no need to tell the mother that she's already going out with him, just make her happy with it happening. If she's not going to be happy with it, then there are only two options. Keep it secret (which won't work), or hurt her mother's feelings.

Hope her mother likes him!

-K

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What is a good teeth whitener in your opinion? I'll rate good

I've answered a question like this before, so I'll paste it in.

"What is the formula for whitening your teeth with toothpaste and baking soda?

(My answer isn't Flouride!!!)
I thought flouride was good for strengthening your teeth, not whitening?
There's not really a formula. I would suggest mixing as much (isn't it bicarbonate of soda?) as is palatable into your toothpaste, and brushing with it regularly. If you're really wanting to whiten your teeth badly, consider a smokers' toothpaste (they contain whitening chemicals) or using one of those chemical whiteners that you paint on overnight or something.
You really should talk it over with your dentist. I had a phase where I thought I really wanted my teeth whitened (before wondering why I really DID want them whitened). I found out that it's not just as simple as: get them white, and they shall stay white for the day. Because your teeth have rough bits on the enamel sometimes caused by plaque buildup, stains redily come back, and are hard to get rid of in the first place. Dentists have special tools for grinding this off, without damaging your teeth. (Just for reference, NEVER EVER try to do it yourself) Some dentists also offer more effective whitening treatments, which usually use less chemicals, and don't involve putting them overnight where you end up swallowing the chemical crap as you sleep.

May your teeth be white!, or maybe you'll just stop caring what other people think... I did ;)

-K"


So do you have to use a strip every day to -keep- them white? What chemical do they use? :) sorry to ask questions, but plz feedback with answers.

-K

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I know this is a little early, but I figured the more time I have the better it will be.
My friend and I are going to be pirates for halloween. But we don't want to look like ordinary pirates we want to be sexy/badass pirates.
So I was wondering what we could do to make our costumes really "stand out."
Such as makeup, clothes, accessories, and hair (I have short she has medium length.

16&17 females

Thanks!

Have you seen Pirates of the Carribean? It has a lot of great pirate clothing in it :) Plus, if you haven't seen it you're depriving yourself of a really great movie.
Basically, to make you stand out you should give yourself a particular STYLE of pirate. Pirates can be boring if all it is is a wooden sword, baggy clothing, a couple of scars and maybe an eyepatch. You need bangles, Funny dreadlocks, or funny parrot puppets (only if you're going for amusment), get some licorice, and squash some of it over a couple of your teeth for the night (Makes them look like they're missing unless you look hard), get some actors tan (and practise so it doesn't look like you slept on a paintbrush ;). Get a cool hat, or a stripey bandana. Practise your pirate words, so people have to ask you to explain things =P (And find some words that none of the other pirates know - none of that swashbuckling crap...) Carry around a fake cannon (ok, so that might be hard to find - but wouldn't it be funny to say "trick or treat" while pointing a cannon at people?)
Startling eyeshadow (like with dots, or lines or zigzags surrounding your eyes) could make you look confronting, but you'd have to match that to a "personality".
You could try to find actor's beards (yes, I remember you're girls)
It really depends what you want to go for. You could both be scoundrelous dogs, or you could be "good pirate, bad pirate" or you could both carry around your "piratical teddies" all dressed up.
I think the most important thing, is to pick a really unusual, cool personality to go with your pirate theme, and add that style to the pirate. You should come out with really unique pirates.

Oh, just had a final idea. If you really wanted to be strange (and probably amusing, unless you did it really solemnly) you could practise a little dialogue to use on holloween night - you aren't two pirates. You are one pirate, stuck in the body of two. Unfortunately, neither of you can ever finish a sentence without the other.
Go halves on the sentence, or practise REALLY hard, and confuse people by alternating every word. You'd have to make up something a little longer than "trick or treat" though, or it would sound kind of lame.

Good luck, private question or email me when you come up with your plans!

-K

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I really want to be a feautured columnist so more people can view my column. Because i've had so many people ask me questions in my inbox but no one has me as a favorite columnist except maybe 1. But thats why I want people to see my column more. So how do I get to be a feautured columnist ? thank you

If you meet the criteria MFS linked you to, then give http://advicenators.com/column.php?u=Dangernerd
DangerNerd a private question saying something like "Could I be the next featured columnist please?" and he might set it up.

-K

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My boyfriend, Ed, and I been together for almost 8 months but we dated for a month before that. He is 18 and I'm 17. Everything was pretty good the 1st few months, few fights but nothing major. Then it seems as we hit the 6 month mark everything went way down. His family doesn't think I'm good enough, the have called me a slutty whore, cum dumpster, conceited, high mantience. At 1st, my boyfriend would stick up for me but then his siblings told their mom that we had sex infront of them and that I tried to seduce the 13 year old brother. Both of which are not true. So I was told I was not allowed to call or go over their house. Its been hard but we have dealt with it, but now Ed, is being a lot meaner to me. He'll blow off plans with me, show up 3 hours late, it seems everything is up to him. His friends hate me, he is nice when its just me and him, but add any of his friends and he's an ass. I love him and I lost my virginity to him and he is also my best friend. But I can't take this anymore. I;m sick of him blowing me off and only hanging out with me when he has nothing better to do. Do you think I should stay with him and try and work this out or just say fuck it and move on. One last thing, I hate being alone so I think the reason I have held on for so long is because I don't want to be lonely.

(Sorry if I'm a little incoherent, I don't have a great deal of time, and I'm trying to write as much of my thought as possible.)
I'd talk to him about it. You sound like you've had a few problems before, so I think you have enough courage to bring this up, and once you have you'll feel easier doing it again if he tries to fob it off.
Something is seriously wrong wit h your guy's priorities if he lets people tell him what to do, and who to go out with. There's also something wrong when he acts like an ass infront of his friends. You can't answer me, but think about it yourself... what kind of an ass is he? Does he grope? or make fun of you? What is it that makes him like that?
There's a chance that he's just got bad friends, but you made it sound like he's into things, so the other part to that equation is that he's just one of the jerks too. Some can do very convincing acts.
When his siblings (younger??) accused you of having sex infront of them, what did you boyfriend say? I have to say, I'm sitting here saying "WTF?" to myself. Why do the siblings hate you? What kind of parents will believe that crap?

What it all falls down to for me is that you tell him he isn't treating you with the respect and dignity that he used to, and that isn't good enough. He either shapes up, has an argument with his parents and changes his habits about his friends, or you're out of there. I'm sorry if it sounds harsh, but that's really IT.

He treats you well. He sticks up for you for as long as it takes. He says you are the most important girl in the world to him, and proves it to you at every opportunity. Anything else, and he's just not good enough.
If you're still not good enough for his family then he should be prepared to ditch his family.

Bad feeling that things won't turn out well, but it's always worth a try, good luck.

-K

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I'm just curious, how can you make yourself smell like something? Like smell like soap, and not have it wear off as soon as you dry yourself?

You need something you put on after bathing, because otherwise you're just washing it off. If you want to smell like soap, then DON'T leave soap on your skin, that can cause major skin damage, and streching. Find a perfume that smells like soap for that.
I would recommend finding a Perfume/Cologne, Body lotion, or buying "skinsafe" essential oils.

Cheap perfumes/colognes tend to wear off quickly, and smell bad, so if you're looking for a good one, pricerange would normally be above AUD70, or USD60. You can get immitations, but they don't last as well either. Whatever you do, don't overdo it with perfumes/colognes - if you can't smell it yourself, doesn't mean you don't reek of it :).

Body lotions are cheaper than perfumes/colognes, but the quantity doesn't last anywhere near as long, because you use more of them by putting them on yourself. The smell of lotions is often more subtle, and can resist fading better than perfum/cologne, because sweat evapourating takes the scent with it. (Probably a good addition to de-odourant if you have B.O.)

Essential oils last WAY longer than anything else. You only need to use a few drops, and you smell good all day. Make sure that you use something safe on skin though, because some will cause bad reactions, like sun-sensitivity (will make you burn in the sun), or some will actually burn you if they're too concentrated - ask someone who knows what they're doing to tell you if the one you picked is o.k. un-diluted on the skin, or get them to make you a dilution.

When you use essential oils, you might like to spread them out with sorbolene or some other moisturiser. These, and body lotions are better for dry skin. Perfume/cologne is alcohol based, which dries your skin.

-K

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there's this guy i like, we'll call him mark. Mark is really sweet, and he's really nice to me... Anyway he plays around bein rude to everybody, like insulting them as a joke and they know it kinda thing. But he doesn't do that to me, he's play rude to the girl he likes/liked (not sure if he still likes her or not), and he's play rude to me sometimes, but he doesn't go out of his way to insult me or be rude which is part of why i like him. Mark treats me like a lady. i'm really thrown for a loop... i want him to like me, and we hang out alot (we sit beside each other on the bus to and from all football games because we're in the marching band, we hang out in the commons of the high school every morning, along w/ a bunch of other people, and we have alot of classes together and whatnot), but from all my experiences w/ guys that have liked me in the past, they were play rude or genuinly rude to me, because they didn't want me to know or something i guess. but anywho, what does it mean when he's nicer to me than anyone else? he really does treat me different. does he just think of me as a friend, or does he like me or does he just not really think that much of me either way so he doesn't really think to treat me like his other friends? i'm really confused... please help
14/f

He probably likes you. If he didn't think much of you as a friend, then he wouldn't be so "friendly", and if you were just friends, then he would treat you the same way as his other friends. He doesn't sound like the kind of guy who's nice just to get down your pants, but that's always a possibility, and some are very good actors.
Homecoming;
I really don't get why some girls won't ask guys out. Ask me, and I'll say it's a stupid stereotype - but no offense...
If you won't ask him, then make him ask you. Start to be really sweet back to him, flirt a lot and let him know you're interested.
I think one of the best ways to find out if he likes you, and get him to ask you to Homecoming is to use reverse-psychology.
The next time you manage to sneak the conversation around to the subject of homecoming, pretend you're not sure whether you want to go or not. Maybe be a little upset about it. Lead him along to asking you why you're not going, or why you wouldn't go. Pounce >=) You don't know who I would go with...
Just chose your words carefully, and make a big hint that you would feel out of place without somebody there with you.
When he knows you want someone with you, you haven't been asked, and if he likes you, then he'd have to be pretty dull, or shy not to ask you there & then.
If he doesn't ask, keep at it a little while. If he just doesn't get around to it, then maybe he's not so interested in you.

-K

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if you havn't had your period yet and you have sex can you still get preganat?

Yes. Definitely.
I'll give you the reason...
You release an egg to your womb every month, and every month if that egg isn't fertilised, the lining of the womb which was ready to accomodate for a baby sheds - that's your period.
If you'd started ovulating (releasing eggs), and it had been less than a month since you started, then you would be fertile, and not have had a period yet.
If you think you may be pregnant, I suggest seeing a doctor about it straight away, because it's not like you can wait a month to see if your next period comes. You might have started, or you might not have, and if you don't know, you could be pregnant and then it wouldn't come until after you have the baby or abort it.

-K

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Why can almost no-one on Advicenators spell correctly? It isn't really that hard, and don't use the excuse that people are young, because I'm not at all old and I can spell without too many mistakes, or none at all.

You Konw, it dneso't rlelay mteatr if polpee cna't slpel prplreoy. It's teh fsirt nad lsat ltetsrs taht cnuot :)
But to be serious - there are a lot of illiterate, and stupid people around. There are also the people who think that netspeak is easier to turn out than good language. The consequence is that they end up forgetting how to spell correctly, or get slow at it. If they practised proper English, they would be just as fast.
If we're not talking about netspeak, you're probably referring to something more like "neatspeak" (my word).
Peeple lyke, tahk lyke, stupud, and ryplaysing lettirs. Thys is eyther extream stipuditi, or maybee thay rilli dun't no haow to spell iyt. Bad education, stupidity and some, sadly, think it is "Kool".

-K

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My boyfriend told my best friend (my cousin) that he was getting mad at me because whenever he caleld I was outside hanging out with all my guy friends. Now i dont know if i should break up with him or not. it'd be my 3rd time. What should I do? I mean i do have other friends I like to hang out with..

Why are you going to break up with him again?
I don't know how long you've been together, but there are two things that should be known. He should know that you love him, and even if you hang around with other guys you wouldn't cheat on him. And you should know that you're allowed to do that, and tell him. If he's so posessive that he can't let you talk to other boys, then you probably don't want to be with him, or you'd lead a very deprived life.
I can't see a reason to break up with him, which is why it sort of sounds like someone's looking for an excuse... (sorry!). All I can see is a boyfriend that is worried his girlfriend is going to find someone better than him, that you like more than him. He needs to be re-assured that he's it.

-K

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1) is it best to learn one foreign language at a time? or can i try to learn 2 at a time (japanese and spanish) ?

2) what foreign language would be more applicable/useful as a future nurse (or future stewardess) ?

3) is it enough to learn on-line (from all the free on-line lessons) , or should I enroll in a language course in a school?

4) pls give me tips on learning a new language =)
and maybe on how to improve my memory


thank you! =)

If you're not doing anything else at the same time, then you should have time. It depends on how quickly you learn the languages, and how good your teacher is. I started Japanese at the start of this year, and managed to memorise the alphabet within a week. If you work out memory techniques that work for you, languages are relatively easy to learn, as long as you get the basics right, and build on that foundation.
Stewardess' would probably benefit from Japanese, because I think it's more international than spanish. As a nurse, it doesn't particularly matter, you'd have translators - it would really depend on where you wanted to work. If you wanted to go nurse in Tokyo, I'd learn Spanish. :) Just kidding....
I don't think it is enough to learn online - however I've never tried. You wouldn't get to ask questions, and nobody to pick up critical errors early on, or in intricasies. You could end up with cereal-box language, that is hard to fix. If you want to be able to use it in a profession, having it as a language course will be a BIG benefit. If you get a helpful teacher you will come out enriched with culture, pronunciation, and good speaking and theoretical language.
Tips on learning (there's memory, hadn't seen that bit before)
With different characters (as in Japanese alphabet) I found it VERY useful to relate them to words or images that they looked like, or nonsensical things that I knew I would remember. For example I learned the character す Su, by saying to myself that it looked like a pregnant woman. Her name was Sue. む is easy, because it looks like a cow (I think it's only co-incidence)
Your teacher in a course may already have a set of these remembering things, but I found it good to make a lot of mine up. More personal, easier to remember.
Good luck with your languages!

-K

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whats better Limewire, Carebear, or Kazaa

Limewire if you're on a Windows machine, Acquisition if you're on a Mac, although the Mac version of Limewire is alright too. Acquisition is specialised, good looking, and hooks up to a couple of networks including the Gnutella (Limewire) one, but for some reason, limewire seems to find a lot more. It's usually crap though, like porn and adverts, so maybe Acq. has a filter or something.

-K

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Which is the best way to get in touch w/ a guy?

Call
Email
in person
pass by in the hall n hand him a note

its nothing personal i just want to know what you think.

Depends heavily on the guy. Is he shy? Is he confident?
If he's shy, email and notes are probably a better way to start, but make him curious, then make him meet you (if you don't know him outside of that, be careful with the meeting) but eventually you must meet, because otherwise it's not the same.
If he's confident, and thinks he can "have" anyone, then make him phone you. Don't bother calling him, but let him know you're interested. If he's interested enough, he'll chat with you, and get your phone or email. He has to WANT it.
If you do write notes, write them on nice paper, with neat writing (You wouldn't believe how long I spent trying to make mine neater, but that was for classes also). Typed notes are absolute romance killers. As in dead relationship, not "killer!".

-K

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what do you do when you wanna lose weight but no one thinks u need to so u cant get on any programs

Well, you should make sure that you really need to lose weight first I'd say. Sorry to say so, but if everyone is telling you that you don't need to lose weight, maybe you should listen to them.
Ask your doctor to compare you on their system with the normal height, age, and weight program they have, and see where you are.
I just want to be really sure you're not going to sacrifice your health. One thing I can think of that you might be looking at is that you exercise normally, but you don't lose weight. You might want to lose fat, so you look better - DON'T judge your progress by weight! Muscle weighs more than fat, and so if you judged on weight, you could get terribly disappointed.
Think about how you look, how you want to look, and don't try to do it too quickly, because that usually backfires. If people still tell you that you don't need to lose weight, then tell them you don't want to lose weight, you want to get trim, or build muscle or something. I think that sounds more like your aim, but I could be wrong.
Don't sacrifice your diet either. Try to eat "clean" foods, such as veggies and fruit. Lay off any junkfood.
Oh, one last thing. Why do you need a program to instruct you on how to lose weight? Do a lot of stuff! Walk around when you can. Take stairs instead of lifts. Run, or take up a sport. Hope you didn't mind the length of the answer. Kind of an odd one considering the shortness of your question.

But I've always been an odd one ;)
-K

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If God gives humanity purpose and meaning, what gives God purpose and meaning?

Is God meaningless and purposeless?! If so, wouldn't that mean that humans are just meaningless and purposeless, and that their "meaning" and "purpose" given by God is purely arbitrary?

This is where Philosophy class comes in handy.
I don't know if you're Christian, or some other religion who believes in God, so I hope you won't be offended by my inability to find God in my perceptions of the world.
When you ask questions like this, you have to decide on definitions of every word you use. What kind of God are you talking about?
I'll presume that we're talking about an all powerful, all loving, all knowing God.
There are a lot of problems when you go in to this definition, but I'll leave them asside.
Why do you suppose God would have given humanity purpose or meaning?
Everything in this is a question in its-self. To ask what gives God meaning, you have to ask how God exists... If God cannot be a person (Which Jesus was) because it would mean they were less perfect than a true "God" should be, then how can you ever know God exists?
If God did exist, and we don't question that, then perhaps God's only purpose would be to exist. God's meaning and purpose was to exist, and create, and love. Personally I think that is a little hollow.
Faith is a wonderful thing. It can give people the strength to do extra-ordinary things. To believe in something is important, because it gives you purpose, and when that purpose is for good, then perhaps God is nothing but the good in everyone.
If you take away God, then a purpose is actually clearer in my mind. To live well. God should not have to be around to tell you what is wrong or right. A kind, loving God wouldn't need Christians to apollogise for sinning every day, and feel bad about themselves. I could probably go on forever about it, but I don't know if any of this really relates to the way you asked the question anyway.
The best place I can reccomend is http://plato.stanford.edu/
If you're interested, go there and look up God, and Meaning or Purpose.

-K

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hi im 13 yrs old and i just started my period i have no one to talk to and i am running out of the supplies i got at 'the talk' i dont have a mom or any sisters or brothers .. just a dad...... how do i bring up this subject with a guy?

The most important thing first, is not to run out of supplies. If you get pocket money, go to the shops, and buy yourself some. (Not that I would know 0=) but I can imagine running out would result in losing you a lot of dignity. It would probably also make talking to your dad about it a little more embarrassing.
Once you've got what you need, you can take your time about talking to him about it. Hey, if you REALLY didn't want to bring it up, maybe you could just leave him hints (Like a packet of libra in the medecine cabinet).
Of course, you could just work yourself up, make sure nobody else is in the room, and say "Dad, I've started my period." (make sure you don't ger nervous and go blurting loud enough for the people in the next room to giggle about ^.-)

-K

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my hair is like a redish brown, i want my hair dyed, im looking for a color that will look good with my face. i have an oliver color of skin, my head is square (weird right?) and i have big eyes and small lips. PLEASE HELP!!!

Don't go too light. A lot of people make the mistake of going full redhead, or light blonde with olive skin. It SERIOUSLY doesn't fit on your head, and leaves you feeling like a... hmm... conspicuous person who dyed their hair the wrong colour (ok, lame example, can't think of a good one)
Bright red would also possibly make you look like you had no lips :) too much focus on the head.
I'd recomend a darker shade of red (burgundy?)
If you want blonde, go very dirty, or streaks.
Black would be o.k., but could make you look aboriginal, or greek (not intended as an insult to you, or any aborigines or greeks) It also depends on whether your hair is curly, or straight.
It's a good idea to go to a hairdresser and try to find a magazine you like, and ask them if it would fit you.
You could always just get sections tinted to make your hair more interesting (like with streaks)

-K

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im the one who asked about the program and how to make em b4..u said to do it without a program and make it by smudging it and stuff but like where should i do that ..in paint or? cuz i cant find a way to do it in paint
thanxx

Sorry I was away for so long. You should sind some tool for that in paint. Or maybe paint is one of those ultra-simple programs that comes with Windows... I think I remember now (I don't use windows) You probably can't do crap in paint. Paint is one of those programs you sic your kids on when you want them to leave you alone. Then your kids get BORED after 3 minutes, because programs like that are just too simple.
I'd say to look for something free that comes with a "Gaussian Blur" feature, because that's probably what you want.

-K

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I like my friend and I asked him out but he said "no i dont like you like that" ,but I really like him and people said we make a good cuple so how do i get hime to like me.

~shannen

Gah! What's with all these people telling you that you shouldn't even try to make the guy like you? Didn't they read your question?
I don't have a lot of time to answer, so I migth come back and edit it later (sorry it's 1am, but I just had to answer)
If you want him to like you, find out what he likes.
Tempt him, tease him, figure out why he doesn't "like you that way", and show him that you're not who he thought you were. If you really do like him, then the chances are that he'd probably like you if he got to know you better.
Anyway, may add more later - bubbye.

-K

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does anyone know how to make these kind of swirls in this pic...http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y201/babiibrightside/Blueheartzandstarz.jpg
not like when you have to download a ton of programs (maybe just 1) just if theres a way to do it with paint or jasc paint shop pro studio...
thanxx

Ouch, sort of difficult to do without a good program, but if you really wanted to do them;
Do some retarded looking swirls freehand, then blur them so they look pretty smooth using gaussian blur, or just some kind of non-distorting blur, then sharpen the image so that the edges of the blur sharpen. You might have to put the contrast up to make the edges sharp, but you should be able to get nice smooth (and hopefully well formed) curls through this method. I made a desktop pattern doing this once, so it's kinda handy knowledge :)

-K

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