My favourite quote is 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.
Life really is a roller-coaster with it's ups and downs and varying speeds. Yet no matter how hard you try to stay on an even keel, something always comes along to kick you in the teeth and remind you just how fragile life is. We are all trying to live the best we know how and to get along together. So take time to appreciate those around you and tell them how much you love them occasionally. A smile and a kind word speaks volumes.
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset
Occupation: Housewife/Mother/Counsellor/Volunteer
Member Since: April 20, 2006
Answers: 798
Last Update: February 17, 2009
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whats the best way to deal with a lie? i am willing to tell the truth but the thing is it involves others who arnt guilty and will get punished for it. what do i do? i cant afford someone digging it up because it is un coverable!! what should i do?? (link)
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If the other people mentioned are not guilty then telling the truth should not affect them. If you could sort it all out without mentioning names, that might be the way to go.
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wow, my mom walked in on my masturbating
with a sonic care toothbrush
i didnt know what to do
i am flipping the fuck out
what the fuck
omg
someone say something
idk
i need help
im such a fucking idiot
what the fuck was i doing
omgg
how more akward is that
i dont want a talk
noo
im only 15
im a girl
has this happened to anyone else
what if she tells my dad
or my grandma
omg
wow
life sucks (link)
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Most Mums are a bit worldly wise and will understand that these things happen. She was your age once with curiosity about sex and feelings. I doubt very much if she will mention it to anyone else but maybe you could have a quiet word with her first if you can. I would not be embarrassed for myself if I walked in on one of my children, but I would care about their feelings and wouldn't broach the subject myself. However, I am a very open-minded Mum and my children can talk to me should they wish to. On a personal note I can say that my mother-in-law in her wisdom chose not to mention ever that she had walked in on me and her son when we were only courting!!
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When we were in our 20s, my best friend "Debbie" was an actress in several movies and television shows. Then she married, started a family and retired to be a stay-at-home mom. However, when she was just starting out and was desperate for work, she had a nude role in a movie. It wasn't pornography, but it was graphic.
Her sons are now in high school and college.
Last week, I was searching for her new e-mail address and did a Web search on the Internet. I found several pictures of her that had been taken on the movie set -- and those pictures could definitely be called pornographic.
I doubt if Debbie knows they exist, much less have been posted on the Internet. She is not much of a Net surfer, but her sons are. Should I tell her? Or should I keep my mouth shut and hope for the best? (link)
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I definitely agree with younggrandma in that you should tell her before her sons discover them. It would be better for her to explain the circumstances before they make assumptions.
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thank you elcee for you help. at this time i really need some kind of support because i never find it at home. my father turned my mother into what she is now. when someone makes a mistake by god i swear to you he is willing to cut their heads of. so my mother is this irresponsible person that dsnt want to get involved in anything to avoid him, and in these recent years when we are all older, us. so my mother is not so much a mother as much as a representation for the outer world. my sibs are masters of domestic politics.. my best friend is mad at me too. sooooo mad because i lied and said that everything i did was a lie that i told to impress her. which is not true she accepts me for me! and my older sister forbade me from ever talking to her so now i am all alone in this world. i admit i do not like the person i have grown into but i knw if i just fix everything and start again i can grow to like myself and never do any mistakes again without getting away from the fam, because for the longest time that is what i wanted and i blamed them for everything. just an hour ago my father yelled at us all because my sister was being a chauvinistic noble idiot about staying at my brother and sister in laws place on the way to college. she says the house is too tite and our sis in law is pregnant and not in the mood to play hostess which is fine i agree because we are not really close to my sister in lwa. but she dealt with it stupidly and she ended up making my brother angry at his wife and putting my mom as the front and then involving my dad and making him yell at everyone... so now my sis cant go anywhere near college (no education for now but my dad will come around i'm sure) and because of that she is threatening o say what i did..... she keeps saying she will wen ever i get involved in anything including things that concern me. i cant forget the past and move on she wont let me! i want to find a counselor but now my every move is watched! she says i cozzed everything today. its not true i tried to calm things so she dsnt get in trouble since my mom and dad are both mad at her . to be honest her righteousness and her quest to impress them by never doing anything worg or doing the rite thing brot this on her. so now she is more mad thinking that i am the one who did a mistake and IAM THE ONE WHO should be punished. i toldddd her a million time i promise to change its not enough. she is so rude. i swear ruder than you can imagine, when i went to the room she got so angry and threatened to be violent and she shoved me. i am really hurt. and i cant talk to anyone because they think i am a social manipulator and anything i say is not believed. I JUST WANT TO LIVE MY OWN LIFE! i hate this situation! how do i get out .... because of the white lies i cant risk getting in deeper and explaining myself and the truth so i dnt get cot, things are still vague. i dont know what they know either, and if i say something its gunna be worse, and i am not even talking about telling my parents.... tho i considered it. but as i've sed it means my mom getting beat up and divorced (which is not good its a social death here and thus financial and everything else) and my sibs will get beaten up so much, and my dad will tell the whole town and we will be condemned. and i won't be living to see this so its worse for my family! my older sister is sooooo mad at me. so i cant talk to her. i dont have any friends anymore because all the westerns think its just weired and i am wired.... as i've sed i chose the wrong crowd....i really cant clear my conscience and i've never felt this guilty or this bad before! how do i solve this?? please please help me i really need someone...... (link)
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It must be a very difficult situation for you and I have to be honest and say that I do not understand your culture too well (Turkey). What I believe is that girls are subservient (supposedly) to the men - sorry if that is not true) therefore it seems to me that your father rules you all with a rod of iron. At 24 you should be old enough to go out into the world and make a life for yourself. Is there any possibility that you could arrange to leave home and live in another town? Are you allowed to get a job and earn your own living? At 24 you are considered to be an adult and can make your own decisions, but as I explained I do not know your culture, maybe you cannot leave until you are married. Your sister may well spill the beans on you out of spite and if she does then you may have to consider leaving home anyway. Are there any organisations that could help you? Also you are not responsible for your Mum being beaten up by your father.
As for your best friend, sit her down and explain to her exactly what is going on in your life. Don't lie and don't gloss over the facts. Try to get her to see things from your persepective and maybe she could help you move on.
This is a very difficult question to answer and I wish that I could wave a magic wand but I can't. You do have to accept that you made some bad decisions, but you have learnt from them. There is not one single person in this whole world who hasn't made a mistake and has had to deal with the consequences. Always look the world in the eye and admit you are human and make mistakes. It is how you deal with them afterwards that shape your future. Good luck.
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hi. 15/m. i know its a little early to plan, but i really want to travel the world. what countries would you reccomend? i would like to go to at least one country in each continent. And i live in england by the way, so i dont really want advice on how "beautiful" england is. thanks a lot :) (link)
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Just a thought - try contacting Camps International. They organise trips abroad in conjunction with schools for about a month at a time. It might suit you to try and arrange a trip to Kenya or somewhere else like that to give you a taster.
Their address is: Camps International
229 Ringwood Road
St Leonards
Ringwood
Dorset
BH24 2SD
Tel No: 01202 872817
They organise everything and you arrange fundraising. It is totally safe - my daughter went a few years ago and she had the time of her life. Ask them to send your school an information pack.
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Hi, i live in Saint Louis MO. Last night my mom was down by the arch around 10pm. As she was walking up the steps, some people, i don't know how many or the genders, beat her with a bat. they hit both sides of her head and her face and eye. They beat her in the back and on her butt. They also cut her hands with a knife. Luckily she did not break a bone, only pain and bruses. She just fell down the steps because of the hospital pants she was wearing. I'm really upset, and i need some incouriging words for both me and my mom. so i looked to advicentors, please help. (link)
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By being there for your Mom will be the best thing for her. It was an awful thing to go through and I am so glad that she was not seriously hurt or worse. She needs to be able to express her anxieties about her ordeal and if you can listen and talk to her, that will be a great help. There are a few practical things she can do as well like using an alarm to summon help if she feels nervous in future, she needs to have reported this incident, and if there is anything that could have been done to make this less likely to occur in the future for instance travelling to and from work in pairs. You will also be feeling a little vulnerable too and may feel more secure taking steps to ensure that you are safe whilst out and about. Carry an alarm also to summon help and go to defence classes to learn how to protect yourself. Unfortunately this world seems to be going from bad to worse with offenders getting away with total murder (In England an 11 year old boy was shot dead yesterday by another youth. He was playing football in a car park!). I hope that my advice helps in some small way. Take care and tell your Mom that there are a lot of good people out there too.
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f/24/turkey
i hate her so much. i really hate her. i hate her i hate her i hate her.....
i use to be miss "gold" when it comes to us two in the fam (since we are not the only two, but are the youngest).... i had big mistakes now and then, enough to make my parents kill me but my older sis use to think i was just dumb and naive.... which probably i was..... anyway i went to a college near school (so i still lived with the fam) and had like a split personality here and there... nothing too drastic though... i loved my friends but i always felt insecure about how much they loved me... i mean i find myself being extra nice and going out of my way to do things that are "nothing" for them and not for my fam..... i knw how stupid. its just that as a kid i grew up in a different country and went to an all girls school (althrough elementary!) and i couldn't deal with how the kids were.... at home i was something there i was something else... don't even get me started on that. basically in order to fit i needed to become someone different in both places and sadly neither was me.... so as i grew i learned that the common thing between all social pools was that if you were nice you fit in. youre happy... i discovered this in my first year of college when i got a bit of freedom away from mum and dads microscope.... it sorta became a bad habit too. and i became addicted to it..... my grades and dedication went down (i was valedictorian... and now i have 60s....) i didnt want to continue in premed and i started to lead a hedonistic life..... plus my older sibs moved away and they were such a big part of my life....we did everything together.... and now i was stuck with my bitter younger sister who hated my life of hedonism and who loathed every ounce of my existence... she leaves the room if i am around she shuts the door in my face if i come knocking... she says i am such an air-head blond wannabe... i am not bubbly or ashlee simpson... but i am not hillary clinton either.... i am just me....
well i never did anything wrong in my life until last winter... when she finally got out of highschool we both went away for college.... my hedonism phase reached its peek then... and she discovered the crazy things that i've done and told.... and at first i was so mad at her because i got in so much trouble... and i can't afford that for many reasons so i sorta contained things by putting in a couple of white lies.
she treats my like shes older and that i am dirt and that i am beneath her class or level... i see it in her eyes every time she looks at me. mom took us to a flea market in our home town she began to act all snobby and was yelling at my mom to leave because there were flies and it smelt. she thinks she's better than everyone...
she embarrasses me everywhere we go (because there is conflict when family me is faced with outside-world me)... my older sis who is now so mad at me and believes that all the times she protected me i took advantage of her teamed up with this sis i hate and they manipulate each other. i don't think i can match them. and i know. I KNOW! that my younger sis has it in her agenda to destroy me if it meant not risking herself... but it does so she just makes me trip on my own crap by manipulating everything.
she has a bad bad habit as well... she snoops into peoples business and says she has nothing to do with anything.... she snoops into the maid's life, my life, my dad's life to see if he is cheating!
i mean i admit we are a very dysfunctional family (and i partly admit i blame my need for friends and people on them for making me feel that i should hide everything from them not the outside world) but why is she so determined to make me like her otherwise she won't respect me!????
i am tiered of this. i have no one. my friends won't talk to me because i had to explain a really embarrassing situation to them (i don't want to make this question any longer so i won't get into that).
i am just so confused. and i am afraid the dual me is firing back. i dont want my parents to find out who i am outside or vice versa...
i am not sure who i am either....
before this hedonistic era in my life... i was questioning everything and i was even telling my sister (older) how i am worried about how i am loosing sight of what is right... i know if i had my younger sister as a friend (who is nice not bitter!) i wouldn't need the outer world... i am so confused and worried... i messed up big..... i don't know what those "friends" i tried to explain to my problem think... they just ignored my emails (since we are not in the same towns for summer and i cdnt tell them in person).... to be honest they are bad people... and i only hung out with them for the 'fun' they brought along... and that lasted an hour or two? anyway so i tried explaining the situation (in my culture the above is not normal... trust me if mum and dad know how "americanized" i've gotten i am fried)... i hate them so much. so now i am stuck under their mercy and hoping they dont say the truth. and the mercy of my sibs for not finding out and telling the parents...... i hate my sister! its all her fault for snooping........ for the record its nothing like sex or some shit like that, i just stirred away from modesty.... i am still a virgin and proud, the only time i thought about loosing it was when i thought my hymen broke when i fell once and thought to hell there is no point when all evidence is gone... and that drove me partly to confessing my love to this guy (who i knew subconsciously was gay... probably coz i knw he was i told him coz i knew it was hopeless... most of my pursuits are that way... now that ba***** has been ignoring me even when i sent him a msg about my problem) but when i realized its still there i just flipped 180 degrees back and retained my old values and confidence....
i dont knw what to do! i learned my lesson!! but i am afraid life wont let me go that easily... my sister wont... i will get cought.... help!!
(link)
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You need to forgive yourself and let go of the past. Whilst you are still beating yourself up about your hedonism, your sister can still get to you. Do you think it is possible that she may be a little jealous of your free living in the past? I feel that talking to her won't make much difference but I suggest that talking to someone outside of your family will make a big difference to how you view yourself and your relationship with your sister. There is no need to for you to continually try to and apologise for what has happened because you can't change it. What you can do is learn from your experiences and hold your head up high. You have come through all this unscathed and you have a lot to offer other people. Please try to find a counsellor that will put everything into perspective for you. I wish you all the very best and if I can help you further please let me know. Take care.
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14/f
I do NOT have a clothing style. and sometimes this bothers me because when i go shopping, i feel like i dont really know what i want. i have a whole range of styles in my closet from scenish to preppy hiphoppy to sporty, but i dont want a style that can be so easily fit into a stereotype like that. so how do i choose? (link)
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Think of some people whose style you do like. Pick out several items that they are wearing (in magazines etc) then cut out those items and start to put together a profile that you think would suit you. Look through some catalogues and cut out pictures of clothes that you could adapt by adding your own flair - for instance buttons/pins/sew-ons etc. Finally, cut out a picture of your face and try mixing and matching those styles that have taken your fancy. By playing around with various styles you may hit on one that is totally you. All the best.
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i had to go to the bathroom and i held it it for like an hour then i fiannaly went now my stomich really hurts. not like gas pains like wieird cramp only in one area. my lower left side. it really hurts.
what happneed/ what do i do? (link)
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You most likely over-stretched the bladder and the pain is just cramp, which will go away. However, if you find that your urine stings and it hurts to pee, you may have something called cystitis. You will need to see a doctor so that he can give you something to make it go away. It happens to a lot of ladies if they have to hold in their urine for a long time.
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Okay, So I have a BIG problem..the other night I got drunk and did something really embarassing. I got sick and while I was puking, I just started farting uncontrollably and this kid was helping me and everything and I remember just being like crap because I really couldnt help it, but I was so embarassed but he didnt say anything, but now hes TELLING EVERYONE. He told so many people and they all believe it. How am I supposed to face everyone?? what do i say? (link)
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Everybody has moments in their lives that are hugely embarrassing and find it difficult to get through. I agree with the previous answer that the best way forward is to laugh with everyone else saying that yes you were drunk and puking - what a funny sight that must have looked. If anyone says about the farting tell them that it is a perfectly normal bodily function especially in times of stress. Don't give anyone the satisfaction of seeing you upset about it and it will all soon be forgotten when the next hilarious thing happens to someone else. Hold your head up and smile - that always works for me.
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If I had a scar 5 months ago, didn't use any special medication but now i use a scar cream, will it still even heal at all? (link)
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According to the makers of Bio Oil, even long term scars can be faded using it. The only way to find out is to try it.
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Alright I'm looking for a word, actually it might be a couple of words or a phrase. I'm not sure.
It's old English, it means "In fear of"
I can't remember, anyone who knows, thanks. (link)
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Is it the word 'lest' as in "I can't go into the cave lest the dragon gets me"?
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ever since i got my period this month, it has smelled funky down there. the first couple days of my period smelled, then it stopped. now it smells again. its not like i dont wash down there and keep it clean, because i always do. i even use these little "fresh n up" wipes to clean. what could this smell be from and how can i stop it? i dont think i have any infections, because i have no simptoms of an inection, that i know of.
thanks. (link)
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If you use tampons please check to make sure you have removed that last one. If you still smell then you may need to have a word with your doctor just to check you don't have an infection (even if you aren't experiencing any symptoms yet).
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my friend is in real trouble she is 14 doing drugs, drinking, smoking and sleeping around and i have just found out that she wants to overdose. But she won't tell me why, I've asked her and i keep trying to help her. I told her to let her mum no why she wants to overdose or see the school counciler because she won't tell me why.Everytime I try to help her she tells me to f up and that she hates me. and all of my other friends keep telling me to leave her alone, so they have all turned on me. All im trying to do is help her before she does something stupid what do i do? (link)
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She needs help and fast so you need to tell either her parents, your parents or another adult that you can trust. She will be extremely angry with you to begin with but you can't take the risk that she will actually overdose and kill herself. It is a big thing for you to do but please get her some help now. Good luck.
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Hi guys
Uhmm i have this assignment at skool about prostheses and i cant find some information! If you guys can (hoping that you will), please help me out!!
I need to find some websites that answer these questions:
"Why it is needed to be fitted into/onto the body.
What is the prosthesis made from?
HOw long does it last before the need of a replacement?
How is the prosthesis fixed into/unto the body?"
about three prostheses for an assignment.
THREE, preferebly one should be "artificial limbs"
THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP!!
(link)
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I have a prosthetic leg and it is held on with a knee strap - like a tight stocking. I also have a leg that is held on with a rachet attachment. It is like a screw that is pushed into the false leg and has a quick-release button. I don't mind using either system and I don't have any problems walking on the leg apart from 'phantom limb pain' (which isn't phantom at all). A prosthesis is usually made from a silicon compound with a metal rod through the middle like an artificial bone to make it stronger. The obvious reason as to why a prosthesis is used in my case is because I need it to walk. That is a quick summary from a personal point of view and if you have any more questions that I can answer please feel free to contact me. Good luck with the assignment.
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whats good stuff to put in a beach bag? (link)
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Some handwash gel for when you want to have an ice cream or something to eat, or even after using the toilet.
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im a 14/f and i know if youre gonna read this youre gonna be like wow
but i was wondering how i can convince my mom to have a sleep over with a guy
i probably wouldnt have it alone just us two cause i know my mom would say no right away
but im almost 15
and and seeems like all the other people get to
me and my mom have a pretty good relationship
but i was wondering how i can convice her?
oh and im not the type of girl that would be fucking him either haha
its just like a friend kinda thinggg. (link)
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It is highly unlikely that your Mom will allow you to have a sleepover with a guy. My eldest daughter is 20 and I will not allow her to have her boyfriend in with her over night. He is allowed to stay but in a separate room. I know that they are together but this is my house and she obeys my rules. I also have a younger child to consider in all this. Having said all that though, your Mom may be very open-minded and will allow it to happen. However, the chances are extremely slim. There is nothing I can say that will enable you to convince her to allow it so you may have to be a little more patient before it happens.
Perhaps if you had a sleepover with a lot of people in the same room which would be more acceptable.
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My best friend fucked my brother when i asked her not to. Do i have a right to be mad at her? Or am i over reacting? (link)
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If your friend is the same age as you, yes - it is against the law. You don't say how old your brother is but he should be made aware that he could be prosecuted if her parents should find out. If they are going to continue to sleep together then make sure that they are using contraceptives. You don't really have the right to tell your friend who she can and cannot sleep with even if it is your brother. However, if she did it out of spite does your brother realise she was just using him?
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Last time I was on here I asked a sex question and the Admin told me I couldn't ask it on this forum. Because of that I'm not sure if I will get an answer to this question but I need to ask anyway. I've no where else to turn.
I'm a 17/m and because of recent events I am at the crossroads of a potentially life changing decision. I'm a virgin. I've never been kissed or even so much as held hands. I've been on one date my whole life but I don't really count it because the girl didn't like me at all. I am an only child and live alone with my mother and father. I don't have many friends because I live in a small town and don't go to school or have a job (long story). I really never meet any girls for the same reason, but hopefully that will change when I start college in the winter. Anyway, my parents are leaving town in a few weeks and I have $200 in my bank account. I have been thinking of using this opportunity to hire and escort. I can't stand being a virgin anymore because I feel like a complete loser, but if the only sex I've ever had would be paid for I wouldn't exactly feel like the coolest guy ever either. I don't know what to do. Please help. (link)
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It is not a good idea to lose your virginity to an escort. It is a really lovely feeling to know that the person you give yourself to eventually is the person that truly cares about you. You sound like you have real issues with your self-confidence and it may be a good idea to find someone to help you build this up. There will most likely be a lot of information at your local library offering classes in things that you find interesting and once you have something in common with a girl, you could try and build up a friendship. You could also try to see a counsellor to talk to or your doctor who could advise you on where to get a little extra help. You are still very young and although not a lot of people will be brave enough to admit it, they too lost their virginity at an older age. I hope that I have made some sense to you and if I can help any more please let me know.
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Well, this morning I took my tampon out and it looked... Smaller? I don't know, maybe it was just me being paranoid. I was freaking out and scared that it had broken inside of me for some strange reason and got lodged inside of me and went up into my bladder. So I've been freaking out and crying.
Then later I was peeing and noticed some fluff in my bellybutton and tried to pick it out and then ever since then I've been feeling bellybutton area pains and the urge to pee and it stings and I want to cry. I'm so scared. I hope the tampon didn't break inside of me or something....
But, yeah, I didn't feel the pain until I scratched my bellybutton to get the fluff out. I really doubt my dad will take me to the hospital unless this is like CRAZY. (link)
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Tampons are made in such a way that it will be near impossible for one to break up inside. If your pee is still stinging you may have a water infection that needs to be dealt with by the doctor. The fluff in your bellybutton will not have come off the tampon and the pain could well be where you have prodded yourself in that area. If you don't want to ask your Dad for help you can always go and see the Pharmacist at your local chemist to get advice.
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