A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
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Member Since: July 16, 2007
Answers: 2588
Last Update: April 13, 2014
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Is it okay to put the car in park or neutral at a red light ? (link)
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Theres no real point. Your car will be idling between 500 and 1000 rpm in whatever gear. But its not neccesary and wont save gas. I would argue against park just because if you miss a green and try to shift fast you could end up shifting into the wrong thing. Say, slamming into reverse and into the car behind you.
I used to drive a manual, so its a bit different. Sweet car, Id shift to neutral coming to a red then into 1st once I was stopped.
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So I just recently quit work at a Japanese restaurant where I met the new bus boy.
He’s very nice, really. But he’s decided that he’s madly in love with me.
It was nice having someone to talk to while I was working, but he’s one of those guys you can have as a friend at work, but don’t really hang out with anywhere else, you know?
So, he asked me to go to lunch with him and some other guys from work. I was like, that doesn’t sound too bad. So I gave him my number (maybe a mistake?) and he never got around to calling me. Okay.
So… he called me right before I left school for the holidays, twice, both times asking what I was doing the next day. “I’m leaving tonight,” I said both times.
He called me a little into winter break to ask for my permission to go to a party. This seems a little weird to me. He calls me again later that week, to ask about another party. “You don’t have to ask for my permission. You can do whatever you want.”
I stopped answering his calls after awhile, and then he stopped calling. Then about a week later, I get two texts from him saying “I love you”. Now I’m starting to get really sketched out.
I got a voicemail from him not but two days ago, along the lines of “Hey, baby, I was just calling to apologize for not having talked to you in awhile. I dropped my phone in the toilet and had to get a new battery. I wanted to wish you a happy new year and everything. I love you, bye.”
I really, really did not feel like calling him back, so I settled for texting him:
'So, I’m off the schedule now at the restaurant, but I guess I’ll see you as a customer. You know I just like you as a friend, right? Happy new year.'
He called me just now. Just 10 minutes ago to ask me to accompany him to his parents’ house. In two years. Because apparently he called them and told them all about me and they think I sound like a nice girl and would like to meet me.
I have known this guy only since November.
“I don’t know what I’ll be doing in two years,” I protest. I'm thinking of studying abroad, but I don't bother to tell him this.
THEN. He asks me to marry him. In two years.
I am absolutely speechless. SPEECHLESS. “I—” I stammer, “two years is—that’s quite a—you know I just like you as a friend right?”
“But we can still keep in touch,” he insists, “and get to know each other more better.”
More better. I’m not even kidding you. …He got expelled from high school by throwing a chair at his principal.
I can’t help but feel like I am partly responsible for the situation I have put myself in. It’s just, you know, most people that I know are, well, normal.
And in college. Or have graduated from college. Or have aspirations to go to college.
Note to self: guard cell phone number with my very life!
I'm incredibly concerned, and could use a little advice. :(
(link)
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Call block and run.
Run like hell.
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So I have a really great boyfriend, like he's amazing, very cute,sweet and everything.
Just that whenever we cuddle on the couch, he always places his band under my shirt, and just plays with my stomach rubs it, and jiggles it and stuff.
He says stuff like "Ah, you're little belly is so cute."
But I feel weird, because I'm not chubby or anything, quite average, but I do have a tiny bit of a tummy. And he's skelatal.
It just makes me akward, but since he likes to I won't stop him, I just don't know why he likes it so much. (link)
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Ok.
One of the most absolute basic classifications that differs women from men is hard vs soft.
Think about the idealized images. Men with hard bodies and women with soft curves.
When he touches your stomach, he is enjoying the feminine-ness inherent in you being softer than he is. Hes not thinking that you're fat, hes loving the fact that he gets to touch some part of you. I do it to my girlfriend too even though we've been together 3 years. Its fun sometimes to just be able to touch the girl you're with, just because shes there and shes soft, and we guys love that.
Also, most guys dont want a stick. Down the hall from me is a guy named Johnny. Johnny's girlfriend probably outweighs him by 25 lbs . Theyre the same height and hes skinny as hell (shes not overweight, shes probably about 130-135 and 5'7). He loves her because shes got genuine curves so when hes with her its not like rubbing two sticks together.
He thinks you're sexy. And hes enjoying it.
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23/f
Ok I have this friend Terry (26). He is a very good friend and we always have fun hanging out. And yes I do have a crush on him. We flirt all the time but it is always ALL talk. We can about literally anything. I can talk about guys and he won’t bad mouth them and it is the same when he talks about girls. Sure of course there is a twinge of jealousy when someone tries to get in the picture, but I don’t do anything about it. That is just not right. I want him to be happy. I know I have to give it time if it is meant for me and him. Sometimes I feel that it is right there in front of us but neither one of us is blind to it. Well I thought I would make a little effort on new yrs eve. My friends and I were out bowling having a lot of fun. I thought it would be cute and bought this cheesy mistletoe. Last day out of the year to get away with something like that. My friends got a kick out of it. (FYI I am sober throughout this whole thing) I also ran into Terry at the alley too and said he was going to have some people over at his house and that me and my friends were invited to come along. Well I wanted to get there before midnight but my friends just took a little longer then I wanted them too. We got there just a matter of minutes afterwards when everyone is rushing outside to light off the firecrackers. I wanted to wish Terry a happy new yr, just was a little too hard with so many people around. I finally was able to stop him in the kitchen and I had the mistletoe. I thought it was a clever little trick to be able to kiss him. And it did work; also that it was new yrs too. I felt very proud of myself too, that I took a little initiative. And we went on with the evening like nothing had happen.
Well.... turns out, there was a girl that didn't know that was kind of with him. She was almost always around him. At first I figured it was one of these young little girls (teenagers) that do have a tendency to follow him around since he is attractive. Well that was until I saw them sitting on the couch holding hands and cuddling. I felt like such a fool. If I had known they were together that night I respectively would not have tried anything. I know when to not step on toes even when it does happen to me. So I mentally tell myself, “ok I have to back off, and let it be” So the next night I am at our Tuesday karaoke Night which we always go to. Terry is there and the girl wasn’t. But we didn’t do anything out the ordinary. We still continued to banter and flirt back and forth like nothing was different, because it wasn’t. I few of us went up to his house since it was up the street. While most were down stairs, I was alone with Terry upstairs and we were talking and I made the effort to apologize for the night before for kissing him not knowing he was technically there with someone. He told me not to be, since they weren’t actually together and the girl ( her name was Jenny20 yrs old) was very needy, moving too fast and that she lived in Sacramento and had come up to see him for the night. Also said that he thought it was very cute and that he had liked the kiss.
Now what I need to know is what should I do about this? Should I just let things take their course? Should I forget about it? Am I in the right to be feeling like this? This has never happen between us. He is always telling me about these girls that like him but he doesn’t really want to start anything with them, since his last relationship really hurt him, but then he is looking for Mrs. Right and not Miss right now. And he does tell this to the girls and they seem to kind of leave the picture, not even wanting to be a friend, yet I know well enough to keep being his friend. You think he is trying to tell me something and I am not taking it in all the way? I don’t really think he is trying to play me because he does look out for me and has not tried anything. I know this is very silly but it is still something on my mind. Any advice would be great. Thanks for making it through all this.
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Christ girl.
Ok. Your friend sounds clueless. Hes going to need help.
Fact 1. This friendship isnt going to work well. Because if you like him being just a friend is always going to suck.
Fact 2. Guys rarely pass up an opportunity handed to them if they dont have something better on the table. Its why guys never say "lets wait" when offered sex on the first date. Its why if you want to go out with him you've got a pretty good chance.
Its time to grab him by the balls metaphorically. Just being his friend is going to suck for you. Take the risk. Look him in the eyes and tell him he should ask you out on a date sometime. When he gives you a double take or cracks some kind of a joke being disbelieving or whatever, keep looking him in the eyes and repeat yourself.
"No, you should really ask me out on a date"
Leave your intentions clear. Let him know what you want out of him. As scary as being direct can be, it also is alot of fun and puts alot of power into your hands.
At the end of the night, when hes wondering how the kiss should be, dont let him go until you get a very nice kiss, preferably a little making out. Send him a clear signal that thats how you think about him. Give him the "play your cards right and you WILL fuck me someday" signal and youve got a pretty damn good chance he will jump at it.
Keep something in mind. He might have been sending you guy signals. I have no clue, but girls and guys think differently so what we think is an obvious sign you might not pick up on, the same way you might send him obvious signs and he doesnt pick up on them.
Oh, and a personal story to back this up. Years ago when I was a freshman in college I was best friends with a girl the entire year whom I wanted to date. Tried and tried, talked her through the other guys she DID date. I made my move too late after she found someone else she was genuinely interested in.
Dont miss chances.
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16 f
there is this kid that i know. he will NOT stop touching me. he's had a crush on me for the longest time, and wont leave me alone. he's really gross and perverted...and just an idiot overall..I hate him. I dont know what to do to stop him. I've hit him before..but he continues touching and squeezing me. I tell him stop like everyday, and he would say something along the lines of, "but I thought you loved me" or "dont you love me anymore"
It's like freaking RAPE, I swear! I'm scared he'll rape me one day =(
what can I do to freak him out? :| (link)
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I almost second Razhie. It sounds like hes creepy rather than aggressive, which is a bit easier to deal with.
Option 1. Find yourself alone with him. Grab him by the balls, squeeze moderately hard, and tell him that if he touches you again, you will rip them off. Ears can work well for this as well, if it were still up Id send you to a website I used to love that showed common pressure points that cause alot of pain but no damage.
If you cant do option 1, then follow Razhie's advice.
Oh, and consider a practical self defense class. Not "karate" or anything, but something thats actually legitimate self defense. They teach you all kinds of nifty ways to incapacitate someone who is bigger and stronger than you using common vunerable points on the human body.
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yesterday i was at my boyfriend's house and i had a really bad headache so i fell asleep. when i woke up my hand was like on his penis and i pulled it out realy quick and he acted really scared. he was like, were you awake? i said no then he said oh yea me neither i was dead asleep. but i know he wasn't... after i made a comment he said i put my hand down his pants when we were sleeping, like i just stretched out and boom, there it was, but he was wearing elastic pants and tight underwear there is no way i could have done that in my sleep. I feel really uncomfortable around him now because we have never done anything sexually really and he always said it didn't bother him. What should I do? I wasn't awake the whole time so I don't want to confront him accusing him. Should I just forget about it? (link)
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I dont think I can do better than seconding Razhie.
Confront him. Let him know that that is NOT acceptable and that he damn well better never cross that line again or he will find himself single. But more than likely he was young, horny, and curious rather than intending to do you any harm.
Hes a boy. Part of a boy becoming a man is learning that there are lines you do not cross. Teach him, if he doesnt learn after one lesson, dump him and slap him upside the head.
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hey im 13 and a female, but im not your avarge 8th grader. i smoke weed and drink offten. i got into this stuff early becasue i have a lot of older friends and my brother is the same way but hes a senior in high school. im not sextualy active but i've done everything but. i feel like im starting to get out of control. my brother is like my best friend and he even told me that im getting really bad. i had a couple parties while my parents were away and when my brother went to school he heard a ton of stories about me hooking up wtih his friends. i feel really bad because the only thing i didnt want was for my brother to be ashamed of me. but at the same time i think he's being over protective because my friends siblings dont even care like mine does. my brother told me that the kids he hangs out with that started as early as i did have std and are probably not making out of high school. i dont know if i should change my ways but all i know is that this has gone to far. please help me! thank you. (link)
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Do you know why we have a drinking age of 21?
Its not because 21 is an age where you magically are OK to drink. Its because most people by 21 have learned to become functioning adults without the aid of substances and you are old enough and have enough life experience (hopefully, though its not generally true of many people) to control your habits and keep them a positive in your life.
At 13 you are not old enough to be doing these things. The reason is that you have not learned to be a functioning adult without the substances. Sure, you can probably make it through a school day high. You might even be able to maintain passable grades.
In the real world, outside of high school, you wont be ready.
I would reccomend stopping until you are done with high school at least. The problem with being 13 is its really hard for someone older to explain things in a way you can relate to. You've never had to pay your own bills, to be responsible for yourself and to be the one who keeps your own life on track.
Without that experience it can be hard to give you more than a "trust me" as a reason why you should change your behavior. All I can tell you is that its important if you plan to do more with your life than graduate middle of your class and work an hourly job for the rest of your life that you learn to function as an adult without any substance habits or dependencies.
Also, while "getting wasted" seems to be all the rage with teenagers these days, getting intoxicated to the point where you cant take care of yourself isnt a great idea. Bad experiences abound in high school and firmly establishing yourself as a girl who gets drunk/high and screws around with guys at 13 is a terrible idea at any age.
In college and beyond, we classify those girls as sorority girls because they spend pretty much their entire college careers getting drunk and used by various frat boys before marrying one of them at some point and being cheated on for 10 years. People do not respect a slut, even if you arent having sex.
Its harsh, but its true. No one is going to respect someone who doesnt respect themselves enough to show a little self control.
Think about it. Consider quitting.
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19/f
Ok I've hung out with my older brother's friends for awhile now (he is 25 and his friends range from 21 - 28 i think). Well, I've liked one of them for a couple years now, and they had a new years eve party last night. I ended up staying there, and me and this guy that I've liked slept on the couch together (nothing happened though, just cuddling). After we all left, he sent me a message on facebook and said he had a good time chillin with me and gave me his number. So I gave him mine, and we're texting now. He wants to take me to a movie sometime, and I'm really excited. But the problems are 1) he's 24 and 2) my brother doesn't really like him anymore (some girl issue they had like a year ago). I really want to see where things go with this guy, but my brother would kill me if he knew. He's already told me I shouldn't go out with him and all. Plus, my mom doens't think it's a good idea, cause it might mess up my relationship with my brother. I'm really stuck on this. I really like this guy, but at the same time, I don't want to ruin my relationship with my brother. :/ Help?? (link)
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Bros Before Joes sweetheart.
Honestly, if your brother doesnt want you dating him, there are reasons, even if hes not going to tell you.
19 and 24 isnt that huge a gap. Guys tend towards immaturity anyway.
Talk to your brother. Ask him directly why he doesnt want you dating your friend. Go from there.
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i jack off to feel like someone loves me, and get rid of the wanting of sex...temporarily.
I can't seem to get any lately and its bothering me.
it sucks.
male-17 (link)
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Not getting laid does suck. That being said, your post is not a question. Add some info if you actually want advice.
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16/f
This kid and I went out for 3 months.
It ended badly.
We go to the same school.
He gave me his favorite hat and a teeshirt.
I was cleaning my room today and I came across both of them.
Should I give them back to him? Or throw them away? (link)
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Giving them back is a good way to show that you are mature and havent let the relationship turn you petty.
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im a guy who masturbates often.i want to know the harms of it.will it give me low erection when im older (link)
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Masturbating more than 4-5 times a day can cause skin irritation in some people. If it starts to hurt, lay off for a day.
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Ok. So i'm not a virgin, but my boyfriend is, and I want to have sex with him and all, but I don't know how to start off. Like I don't want to have to tell him what to do ("ok, take your pants off", "Come here," "do this do that") you know?
So is there anything I can do to make him want to be in control. We talk about it and stuff and he tells me all that he WANTS to do, but it never happens. Does that mean he's scared of me? I like him and all and think hes overly sexy but he's not that experienced and stuff. I don't know how to get him to warm up to anything either. I've always gone out with more experienced guys.
Help? (link)
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Hes scared shitless.
Its almost cute =p
Ok. So, being the more experienced party, hes going to look to you for instructions. The unfortunate curse of dating virgins (and the reason I swore them off years ago) is that you have to kind of teach them. He hasnt had much sex of any kind probably. He doesnt know what he wants, or what he likes. You cant ask him what he wants to do.
The first sex is going to suck. Especially if I am right, it sounds like you are a girl who is a bit sub and likes the guy to control her and tell her what to do, its going to take a little time to get that confidence up in him.
Hes probably waiting for you to make a move the same way you're wiating for him. You're going to HAVE to tell him what to do. Hes not just going to magically know.
You need to set aside a few hours. You need to both be naked. You need to encourage him to do things and tell him how to do them better if hes not quite doing it right.
Its going to take patience on your part. Hes intimidated and worried about doing things wrong. You need to show him that he can do things right before hes going to have the confidence to give you the sex you want.
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what do guys like in a girl and what do you think is hot in a girl? (link)
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Tricks to attracting guys.
Being confident gets more attention than anything else. But some body language knowledge helps alot.
1) Maintain eye contact. Eye contact is sexy. It lets someone know you are interested in them and that you arent afraid of them knowing it.
2) Smile. Youd be amazed at how a smile can make someone view you. A big smile directed at a guy you like can knock him flat on his ass.
3) Read. Seriously. Kids these days dont read that much. One side effect of not reading is that everyone only knows the words everyone else uses. Consequently, alot of young girls all sound EXACTLY THE SAME. Its ridiculous. Reading gives you an edge because it expands your working vocabulary. Two girls, all else being equal, the guy will pick the one who can express herself better. It sets you apart and makes you different from the rest, which is a good thing.
4) Dont wear slutty clothes. One of the biggest secrets to guys, is if you make things easy we often lose interest. If a guy sees a girl wearing clothes that scream "I'm Easy" he is more likely to assume she isnt worth his time.
However, if you wear clothes that dont let him see a ton of you, hes going to be wondering at what he can't see. Tight jeans instead of short skirts kind of thing. Less cleavage (but not all the way gone) etc etc.
All in all, confidence is key. Smile alot and make eye contact and you will see the attention you get increase.
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My boyfriend is taking advantage of me and threatens to hurt me if i don't make-out with him or have sex with him and i'm still a virgin but i don't know how long i can hold out for! (link)
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Stop speaking to him. Tell him its over. If he tries anything, tell your parents first, his parents second, and a school counselor 3rd.
Actually, check that. Tell your parents NOW, his parents, the school counselor, and then ignore his ass.
Also, warn any girls who might be interested in him what he does and what he threatens. He is a predator and you dont want to be the one he decides to fuck with.
Do not ever tolerate a guy treating you this way. There is no reason to put up with it, he isnt your boyfriend if he is threatening you.
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So, say if you were going out with someone for 10 months. Then they started talking to this person, and looking at porn online together and they talked about her masturbation, and she asked how big he was and they'd constantly make sexual jokes to each other.. would you get jealous? Would you be extremely mad? Well that's what happened to me and my boyfriend. I had trust issues for a while and then they stopped talking for about a month and so i thought it would get better. Then, after a month, he and she started talking again. I got jealous, again, obv.. and i broke up with him. He said he was still in love with me (he's had really strong feelings for me for a few years now) and so when i was contemplating on going back out with him he told he didnt want to talk to her anymore because he feared it'd get like before. So, now she's going around and telling people that im too jealous and that im a control freak when i mean, it was well deserved because i cared/ care about him so much. Do you think im in the right, or is she? Do you think i should confront her about this (oh, and by the way, me and the girl had been best friends for a few years before that.) (link)
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::Edit::
After reading a few other responses, I'll weigh in an extra opinion.
Responding particularly to XO Minela below me, no you should NOT be controlling. No, its not OK, and no, it doesnt show him you care more. It shows him you have issues that you arent dealing with. High school guys often don't know better than to not put up with that. Later in life, we dont put up with that.
You being controlling means that there is some mixture of him behaving in a way that you feel is untrustworthy and you having issues of insecurity. What you need to try to work out, is how much if this is your insecurity.
Talk to him about that part. You need to communicate with your boy if you plan to make anything work. If you cant trust him, and if you need to be a control freak, then you arent in a very good relationship.
Hmmmm.
That one is hard to say. I dont know him, and without that crucial piece of information theres no way to give a decent answer.
I'll use my life as a parallel. I talk to a number of women about their lives. Most of my best friends are women, and inevitably I hear plenty about their boyfriends and sex lives. To the point where Ive heard specific stories about sex or been asked for functional advice a few times.
Now, its all innocent. My girlfriend knows most of these friends herself, she knows how we interact, and is not threatened by it at all. She knows alot of what we talk about and is OK when I wont tell her something because its always some personal information from a friend that only I am privy too.
Its a question of trust. How much DO you trust him? If hes genuinely willing to not talk to her to be with you, hes worth a second look. I think you should talk to him and say its not cool and talk it out with him.
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16/female. in march im turning 17 and i havent had sex yet... all of my friends have done it already.. so i feel weird when they talk about it around me. some have boyfriends and some have just done it with radom guys at parties (which i dnt want to do).
i feel that im missing out and that im ready to do it for the first time but i dont have a boyfriend and i want my first time to be with someone i can trust and that i can remember it as being spacial.
is it weird that i havent done it yet and everyone else has and the fact i will be 17 soon.. my sister is 19 and she did it when she was 15 so i feel like i should of already.
thanx (link)
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No its not wierd.
First off, every one of your friends who just hooked up with a guy at a random party is an idiot. Do not imitate stupidity like that.
The point of sex is not to obtain status amongst other teenagers by having "done it"
The point of sex is to share intimacy between two people who care about each other.
Everyone wants sex. Its part of being human. Control those urges until the right time. If nothing else, your first should be a guy you trust and care about and you should be having sex with someone whom you know you can have more sex with. Look at it this way. Everyone starts out terrible at sex. You have more sex, and you learn to get better. If you have a one nighter or sleep with someone you cant have more sex with the next day, how are you going to learn?
That alone is a good reason to wait for the right guy.
Your sexuality is your own. Its not your friends. Its not your sisters. You shouldnt do things other people do because you are not them.
Show some more interest in boys you might be interested in. Chase a little more maybe. But beyond that, dont worry about it. Sex will happen when it happens, if you make it to the end of college still a virgin we'll start worrying, m'kay?
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I want to do something special for my boyfriend on our six month anniversary, the thing is I don't know. I don't want to spend a lot of money just want to make it special and let him know that I care a lot about him. Please help ASAP because our anniversary is TUESDAY! (link)
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Dinner and a back/shoulder/scalp massage.
Especially if you are in a relationship where he usually pays for things, either making him dinner or taking him out to dinner is always a good evening.
Afterwards, put on a movie he really likes and massage his shoulders and the back of his neck up to his scalp. Do that for a while, have him lie down, and give him a back and shoulder massage. If you've never done it before, just rub different ways and ask what he likes.
Presents are nice, but sometimes just some care and attention that shows you appreciate your partner goes a long way. And everyone loves to be spoiled.
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ok i'm a pretty fucked up girl here i:
play volleyball
play piano
want to play guitar..so i know a little bit
snowboard
used to skateboard
play soccer
what am i? like label wise. my friends are pretty nerdy, and i dress in pacsun, abercrombie, AE, and whatever else is out there. (link)
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My label would be "Teenager"
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Hi, I'm an 18 year old female. My boyfriend and I have been sexually active for about a month now and all has been fine except for the fact that my boyfriend hasn't come even once! I've thoroughly enjoyed sex and he says he does too but...obviously not. So tonight I asked him about it and he says that he seldom ever comes during intercourse unless a condom is not worn. This makes sense to me, it would obviously feel better without it. He said that in NO WAY was he asking me if it would be alright for us to not use a condom during sex...but I would obviously like for both of us to enjoy sex. What are some equally safe alternatives in contraception to condoms? Has anyone else ever seen this problem in a guy? Any advice on what we can do?
Thanks, everyone! (link)
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A mutual STD Test, Birth Control, and nonoxyl-9 spemicide in some form are equally as effective as condoms.
If you look in the aisle with condoms and such, the one I use is called "VCF" or "Vaginal Contraceptive Film"
Use that with a condom, or that with birth control, and its an extra line of protection against pregnancy.
Im sure you've seen the "you never know, so wear a condom" responses. The truth is, that a condom does not block HPV, and does block all things that can actually be tested for. Rather than continuing condom use, get a duo comprehensive blood test, get on birth control, use a spermicide, and you are being just as responsible as you had been. (if not more, due to two forms of contraception)
If you get tested together and are faithfully monogamous you have a clearcard on STDs, so its just pregnancy you have to worry about.
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Lately my gf has been telling me about these dreams she has about other guys forcing her to hook up with them and she told me that "you shouldn't struggle, you should just go along with it". She also sort of admitted that this is a fantasy of hers. What I'm wondering is, if someone started kissing her and she kissed him back, wouldn't that be cheating regardless of how the kissing started? Couldn't she just use being forced as an excuse, especially if its a fantasy of hers? In my opinion, if someone holds her and starts kissing her, she should push him away rather than kiss him back. We are in a committed relationship by the way. (link)
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