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molested?
yesterday i was at my boyfriend's house and i had a really bad headache so i fell asleep. when i woke up my hand was like on his penis and i pulled it out realy quick and he acted really scared. he was like, were you awake? i said no then he said oh yea me neither i was dead asleep. but i know he wasn't... after i made a comment he said i put my hand down his pants when we were sleeping, like i just stretched out and boom, there it was, but he was wearing elastic pants and tight underwear there is no way i could have done that in my sleep. I feel really uncomfortable around him now because we have never done anything sexually really and he always said it didn't bother him. What should I do? I wasn't awake the whole time so I don't want to confront him accusing him. Should I just forget about it?
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I dont think I can do better than seconding Razhie.
Confront him. Let him know that that is NOT acceptable and that he damn well better never cross that line again or he will find himself single. But more than likely he was young, horny, and curious rather than intending to do you any harm.
Hes a boy. Part of a boy becoming a man is learning that there are lines you do not cross. Teach him, if he doesnt learn after one lesson, dump him and slap him upside the head.
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There is no logical conclusion but that he put your hand there. You are perfectly justified in accussing him and explaining to him clearly that what he did was sexual assualt.
As judgemental and sexist as it sounds, rather then training women to be fearful and protect themselves against unwanted sexual advances, what our society really needs to be doing is teaching young men what is inappropraite.
If you think he is a basically good guy, assume that his behavoir came out of curiosity, ignorance and immaturity, not an active desire to abuse you. You will do the world, and your relationship, a lot of good by firmly educating him about how that behavoir makes you feel and how inapropraite it is.
It is assualt and it is abusive. Don't shy away from those words when you explain this too him. It's vital he understands.
You should also mention to him that he is now on his second chance, if something like this happens agian he is no longer ignorant, he is an asshole and you need to dump him.
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This really does not sound good to me. If you can conclude that there was no way that your hand accidentally got beneath his underwear, then it follows that he stuck your hand down there.
I personally think he deserves to be confronted. How you want to take this is up to you, but just keep in mind that the guy tried to take advantage of you while you were asleep. That is the very definition of non consentual.
What you can conclude from this is that he does want to do sexual things (that should not be altogether that big a surprise since most guys do). You can also conlude that you have got yourself a boyfriend whose ethical standards are well below par, and who clearly does not respect you enough. Where you go from here is your choice, but I would be very wary about continuing this relationship.
Good luck.
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You could ask him about it, but of course he is going to deny it. If you feel that uncomfortable then break up with him, or see him less. When you do see him just watch what you do, and be careful, because it does seem alittle strange.
Hope I helped !
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I think you should talk to him about doing sexual things. Ask him again wether it really does bother him or not ? If it does..then only if you are ready to do "things" then do them :) If not then dont! If it doesn't bother him then just drop it :) Good Luck x x
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