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out of control
hey im 13 and a female, but im not your avarge 8th grader. i smoke weed and drink offten. i got into this stuff early becasue i have a lot of older friends and my brother is the same way but hes a senior in high school. im not sextualy active but i've done everything but. i feel like im starting to get out of control. my brother is like my best friend and he even told me that im getting really bad. i had a couple parties while my parents were away and when my brother went to school he heard a ton of stories about me hooking up wtih his friends. i feel really bad because the only thing i didnt want was for my brother to be ashamed of me. but at the same time i think he's being over protective because my friends siblings dont even care like mine does. my brother told me that the kids he hangs out with that started as early as i did have std and are probably not making out of high school. i dont know if i should change my ways but all i know is that this has gone to far. please help me! thank you.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
If you feel things are getting out of control listen to what the nagging voice in your head is saying. That voice is gradually going to become deafening because you're sliding down a slippery slope.
You have seen where doing drugs at an early age or at all for that mater gets you. These older people you reference have big time problems including the fact they now have no education. Nobody wants an STD either or the "slut" label either for being promiscuous.
You've done the responsible thing by writing us. Why? You're able to admit you have a problem where as other people in your situation won't or can't. It takes guts to do that and to actively search for and want help.
The first thing you need to do is cut all ties to the people you're getting in trouble with and getting marijuana from. Talk to your teachers about your courses and get a tutor to get you on track academically and stop hooking up with people at parties or even going to them.
As hard as it may sound you have to tell your parents that you are having a problem with drinking, marijuana and school and need their help to stay on the straight and narrow. 13 is very young for an underage drinker.
Will they be angry? Hell yes but that anger will magnify ten times more if you don't tell them and you wind up in an even bigger mess down the road you could prevent.
I don't know how old your brother is or his friends but it sounds to me that they're quite older and dragging you in a bad direction. You're 13 so I would stay with people 11-14 and avoid these jerks.
Also if you are 13 and have done everything sexually except intercourse that's a problem. You aren't mature enough or adult enough to handle the ramifications of some of this behavior. Slow down, stop before things escalate.
Your parents can get you professional help for your problems and have you back on track. Although this will raise hell you need to tell your parents where the drugs were coming from, which of your brother's friends have been dragging you down etc. and let them know he's got a problem too.
If his butt doesn't get kicked along with yours you can bet once you get clean and out of this situation that people he's around or even he himself can trigger your relapse.
It doesn't matter whether your friends siblings care about what's going on as much as your brother. He has problem himself with this stuff and if he can see you're headed to disaster that ought to tell you something.
While he may be overprotective or close to you he's done a piss poor job of stopping your destructive behavior. Turn this over to your parents, a teacher, counselor or trusted adult to get yourself some help.
You can start by removing yourself from the social circle and so-called friends who you seem to get in trouble with. If you don't chuck them aside you'll wind up in an endless cycle of the same problem.
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Do you know why we have a drinking age of 21?
Its not because 21 is an age where you magically are OK to drink. Its because most people by 21 have learned to become functioning adults without the aid of substances and you are old enough and have enough life experience (hopefully, though its not generally true of many people) to control your habits and keep them a positive in your life.
At 13 you are not old enough to be doing these things. The reason is that you have not learned to be a functioning adult without the substances. Sure, you can probably make it through a school day high. You might even be able to maintain passable grades.
In the real world, outside of high school, you wont be ready.
I would reccomend stopping until you are done with high school at least. The problem with being 13 is its really hard for someone older to explain things in a way you can relate to. You've never had to pay your own bills, to be responsible for yourself and to be the one who keeps your own life on track.
Without that experience it can be hard to give you more than a "trust me" as a reason why you should change your behavior. All I can tell you is that its important if you plan to do more with your life than graduate middle of your class and work an hourly job for the rest of your life that you learn to function as an adult without any substance habits or dependencies.
Also, while "getting wasted" seems to be all the rage with teenagers these days, getting intoxicated to the point where you cant take care of yourself isnt a great idea. Bad experiences abound in high school and firmly establishing yourself as a girl who gets drunk/high and screws around with guys at 13 is a terrible idea at any age.
In college and beyond, we classify those girls as sorority girls because they spend pretty much their entire college careers getting drunk and used by various frat boys before marrying one of them at some point and being cheated on for 10 years. People do not respect a slut, even if you arent having sex.
Its harsh, but its true. No one is going to respect someone who doesnt respect themselves enough to show a little self control.
Think about it. Consider quitting.
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You have quite a story. I am glad that you notice that you are out of control--most people don't recongize this until it is too late. I'm proud of you. I recomend that you change your way because it has gone too far. You are only 13--you have a lot of years ahead of you. Do you want to ruin your life so early? You could be so muc happier than smoking weed and getting drunk. I'm glad to hear that you aren't sexually active. Like your brother's friend--they have a huge chance that they won't graduate. Would you want that to happne? I don't know why your parents or even your brother let you do this kind of stuff--drink and smoke. This is a young age to start. I think you should stop doing this stuff. Your brother is protecting you because he cares for you--you already know that. He will probably feel better if you didn't smoke weed and drink like he does. I think you are heading to a bad start--stop it! You are going to enter high school--you can start over. You are still young so you have enough time to start over. Stop drinking and smoking and do some normal stuff. It will be hard to stop if you have been doing it for a while but you will regret this if you don't stop soon as possible--like now! It is good to hear that your brother is over protective. My advice to you is stop drinking and smoking and start a fresh way. Do normal stuff becuase you are destroying your body at a young age. Like I said, you can be so much happier than this way and it will be much more healthier. GOOD LUCK!
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Well, the only way to get it under control is to put a stop to it. Why? You have realized that you can't control it, period.
You need to stop the drinking, stop the weed, and stop the sexual activity. Be the 13 year old kid that you are. Even if that means finding a new group of friends to be a part of. (And it probably means just that.)
Statistically, you are putting yourself at high risk of ending up with drug and alcohol addictions, STDs, and children before you graduate high school (if you even do). Not saying that is a for sure thing, but it is highly possible, at the rate in which you are currently going.
Come on, kiddo, you deserve so much more for yourself. You deserve a better life than that.
Since you are so close with your brother, why not talk to him about it? See if he will join you in changing your lives. It will be easier if you do it together.
ygs-29/f
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most girls who start out this early, never graduate high school because they have to stay home and take care of their kid.
i agree with the other answer .. get new friends, stand up for yourself, get help, tell an adult, go to your school psychologist or counselor, go to the library and get some self-help books.
only you can help yourself. when others have to stop u..youve gone too far.
`baby
19.f
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Obviously this has gone too far. One day, you will be caught. How embarrasing would it be if you had a party and the police came knocking on your door if your neighbors complained? GET NEW FRIENDS. Stop hanging out with your brother the way that you do. You can have fun without the weed and alcohol [sp?]. Your brother is worrying about you, and he doesn't want anything to happen to you.
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