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its long.. but i need the help, so please
So, say if you were going out with someone for 10 months. Then they started talking to this person, and looking at porn online together and they talked about her masturbation, and she asked how big he was and they'd constantly make sexual jokes to each other.. would you get jealous? Would you be extremely mad? Well that's what happened to me and my boyfriend. I had trust issues for a while and then they stopped talking for about a month and so i thought it would get better. Then, after a month, he and she started talking again. I got jealous, again, obv.. and i broke up with him. He said he was still in love with me (he's had really strong feelings for me for a few years now) and so when i was contemplating on going back out with him he told he didnt want to talk to her anymore because he feared it'd get like before. So, now she's going around and telling people that im too jealous and that im a control freak when i mean, it was well deserved because i cared/ care about him so much. Do you think im in the right, or is she? Do you think i should confront her about this (oh, and by the way, me and the girl had been best friends for a few years before that.)
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well that's soo obvious that he likes you alot.. that was wrong if she was your bestfriend years ago also. but i'd rather say she's not really your friend either, she can't blame you.. she should put herself in your spot.. of course she'd be jealous.. so that's an obvious answer.. it's not your fault. it'd be totally uncomfortable, you can try to confront her about it and see what she says.. if she starts being a bitch, that's not your problem.
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well firstly you need to ask yourself if YOU still have feelings for him.if you do then hold on to the relationship.tell him that you would like to get together again but he must stop having this kind of relationship with this other girl.you have every right to be angry and even jeolous.tell the girl that as a friend you expect her to stop this with your guy.tell her that if she was in your position she wouldnt like what is happening
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::Edit::
After reading a few other responses, I'll weigh in an extra opinion.
Responding particularly to XO Minela below me, no you should NOT be controlling. No, its not OK, and no, it doesnt show him you care more. It shows him you have issues that you arent dealing with. High school guys often don't know better than to not put up with that. Later in life, we dont put up with that.
You being controlling means that there is some mixture of him behaving in a way that you feel is untrustworthy and you having issues of insecurity. What you need to try to work out, is how much if this is your insecurity.
Talk to him about that part. You need to communicate with your boy if you plan to make anything work. If you cant trust him, and if you need to be a control freak, then you arent in a very good relationship.
Hmmmm.
That one is hard to say. I dont know him, and without that crucial piece of information theres no way to give a decent answer.
I'll use my life as a parallel. I talk to a number of women about their lives. Most of my best friends are women, and inevitably I hear plenty about their boyfriends and sex lives. To the point where Ive heard specific stories about sex or been asked for functional advice a few times.
Now, its all innocent. My girlfriend knows most of these friends herself, she knows how we interact, and is not threatened by it at all. She knows alot of what we talk about and is OK when I wont tell her something because its always some personal information from a friend that only I am privy too.
Its a question of trust. How much DO you trust him? If hes genuinely willing to not talk to her to be with you, hes worth a second look. I think you should talk to him and say its not cool and talk it out with him.
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First of all, 10 month's is a long time & you can't just let something like that slip away. & Yes i would get jealous if my boyfriend did that to me, & I would be extremely mad. & Ofcourse you're going to care about your boyfriend, & it's perfectly fine to be a "control freak" because that's how girlfriends are when they really care about their boyfriend. The girl is obviously jealous, because she wants what you have with him. & What I think you should do is, just IGNORE her. Let her keep starting rumors, people will realize their not true & she'll eventually stop. You should have a talk with your boyfriend, and tell him how much he means to you. Because you mean alot to him, obviously. Good luck (:
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Even if their conversations were in jest, the topics were totally over the line and as his girlfriend, you were justified in being jealous. However, if he really wants to be friends with her, and he's stopping himself because of you. You might want to see if just talking to him about the conversation topics would help. But if it doesn't help, then one of the girls in his life is going to have to go because a guy should not be watching porn with a girl who isn't his girlfriend. That's really wierd...
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