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guy at work thinks he's in love with me, starting to creep m
So I just recently quit work at a Japanese restaurant where I met the new bus boy.
He’s very nice, really. But he’s decided that he’s madly in love with me.
It was nice having someone to talk to while I was working, but he’s one of those guys you can have as a friend at work, but don’t really hang out with anywhere else, you know?
So, he asked me to go to lunch with him and some other guys from work. I was like, that doesn’t sound too bad. So I gave him my number (maybe a mistake?) and he never got around to calling me. Okay.
So… he called me right before I left school for the holidays, twice, both times asking what I was doing the next day. “I’m leaving tonight,” I said both times.
He called me a little into winter break to ask for my permission to go to a party. This seems a little weird to me. He calls me again later that week, to ask about another party. “You don’t have to ask for my permission. You can do whatever you want.”
I stopped answering his calls after awhile, and then he stopped calling. Then about a week later, I get two texts from him saying “I love you”. Now I’m starting to get really sketched out.
I got a voicemail from him not but two days ago, along the lines of “Hey, baby, I was just calling to apologize for not having talked to you in awhile. I dropped my phone in the toilet and had to get a new battery. I wanted to wish you a happy new year and everything. I love you, bye.”
I really, really did not feel like calling him back, so I settled for texting him:
'So, I’m off the schedule now at the restaurant, but I guess I’ll see you as a customer. You know I just like you as a friend, right? Happy new year.'
He called me just now. Just 10 minutes ago to ask me to accompany him to his parents’ house. In two years. Because apparently he called them and told them all about me and they think I sound like a nice girl and would like to meet me.
I have known this guy only since November.
“I don’t know what I’ll be doing in two years,” I protest. I'm thinking of studying abroad, but I don't bother to tell him this.
THEN. He asks me to marry him. In two years.
I am absolutely speechless. SPEECHLESS. “I—” I stammer, “two years is—that’s quite a—you know I just like you as a friend right?”
“But we can still keep in touch,” he insists, “and get to know each other more better.”
More better. I’m not even kidding you. …He got expelled from high school by throwing a chair at his principal.
I can’t help but feel like I am partly responsible for the situation I have put myself in. It’s just, you know, most people that I know are, well, normal.
And in college. Or have graduated from college. Or have aspirations to go to college.
Note to self: guard cell phone number with my very life!
I'm incredibly concerned, and could use a little advice. :(
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships?
Call block and run.
Run like hell.
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None of the other columnists mentioned that he sounds like a stalker. Ask if you can get a restraining order for this kind of thing.. I don't know if it can be construed as sexual harrassment or not or just harrassment.
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okay this sounded like a big joke to me when i read it. either hes joking and you just dont realize it or there is something seriously wrong with this guy. im guessing there is probably something seriously wrong with this guy because you obviously wouldnt be asking for help unless you thought this was serious. just stop answering his calls and texts. simple as that. i wouldnt really go into the restaurant again for awhile unless you want to have to face him confronting you.
good luck <33
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Take deep breath, and stop taking his calls or responding to his texts, in ANY WAY AT ALL.
Talk to your parents and/or roommates, don, floor rep, whatever. The people you live with. They will help keep you safe, be there for you and provide witnesses and legal support if thie escalates.
If you choose too, you could call him one time and tell him this "Your calls/texts are making me uncomfortable and I'm not going to accept them any more." Be mean if you must. Tell him he has made you too uncomfortable for you too be his friend and he has not listened to you when you said no to his requests. Ask a friend to witness this conversation as well.
At this point, don't freak yourself out too much. Protect yourself by making sure the people around you know what is going on and by ending all communication with him. The idea at this point is to be in the best situation you can be *if* it escalates.
He sounds like he isn't operating with all of his senses intacted... He is also probably harmless and if you stop being nice (being a bit rude is worth it to feel safe) he will drift away.
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