Ok. So i'm not a virgin, but my boyfriend is, and I want to have sex with him and all, but I don't know how to start off. Like I don't want to have to tell him what to do ("ok, take your pants off", "Come here," "do this do that") you know?
So is there anything I can do to make him want to be in control. We talk about it and stuff and he tells me all that he WANTS to do, but it never happens. Does that mean he's scared of me? I like him and all and think hes overly sexy but he's not that experienced and stuff. I don't know how to get him to warm up to anything either. I've always gone out with more experienced guys.
Ok. So, being the more experienced party, hes going to look to you for instructions. The unfortunate curse of dating virgins (and the reason I swore them off years ago) is that you have to kind of teach them. He hasnt had much sex of any kind probably. He doesnt know what he wants, or what he likes. You cant ask him what he wants to do.
The first sex is going to suck. Especially if I am right, it sounds like you are a girl who is a bit sub and likes the guy to control her and tell her what to do, its going to take a little time to get that confidence up in him.
Hes probably waiting for you to make a move the same way you're wiating for him. You're going to HAVE to tell him what to do. Hes not just going to magically know.
You need to set aside a few hours. You need to both be naked. You need to encourage him to do things and tell him how to do them better if hes not quite doing it right.
Its going to take patience on your part. Hes intimidated and worried about doing things wrong. You need to show him that he can do things right before hes going to have the confidence to give you the sex you want. [ WittyUsernameHere's advice column | Ask WittyUsernameHere A Question ]
queenhearts answered Tuesday January 1 2008, 3:58 am: If he knows you're not a virgin... then the idea of you having experience is somewhat intimating. He may not feel good enough or know what he's doing exactly.. So you're going to have to take control and show him that it's okay. It's so easy to talk about it. He's probably nervous about what he's doing or the size of his penis. If you happen to be alone one time, you should take advantage of it.. if you feel it's right. Also, since he's a virgin.. you have to be sure he's ready. Some guys out there really do.. want something special for their first time. My guy friend didn't want to have sex with his girlfriend too soon and she kinda forced him. He was kinda upset about the place and time.. so you should set up a date or a weekend planned together. He may think you want to wait if you're not direct about it. If he's nervous/afraid.. of course he's going to try to avoid it as long as possible. Make sure he's REALLY okay first.
Some guys are dominant while others aren't. So you should take control first and soon he should be too. If you want to make him take control, you should wear something a little revealing if you're alone.. Like booty shorts or something like that. That really gets to my boyfriend and he gets so dominant. Just make out and get on to of him. Let your hands wander to his jeans and unbutton it. He should get the message.. but look at him to see if it's okay. If he's not taking the hint, you should speak to him and see if he's the type of guy that "wants to wait when it's love or for the right place/time sort of thing" [ queenhearts's advice column | Ask queenhearts A Question ]
tttina answered Tuesday January 1 2008, 12:13 am: it sounds like he really wants to do stuff with you but hes afraid that he wont be up to your standards all guys are like this just reassure him when he is doin little things then move his hands on you to encourage him that your ready
he should get the hint and start doing things he wants to do to you and i guess if not you take the lead for this one time and next time it will be more comfortable and fimilliar to him and hell take the lead
saabio answered Monday December 31 2007, 11:24 pm: Well, start off by just telling him to do what feels right insted of pressuring him or coaching him. Then gently unzip his pants and pull them and his underwear down if u guys are really into it. If he doesnt want sex- he'll tell you. Now, ifhe doesnt know how to use a condom, put it on for him. many guys get turned on by that. then just sorta lead him with body signals [ saabio's advice column | Ask saabio A Question ]
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