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about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.

my forum
My FAQ

Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!

--Jack

advice

My mom asked me a few weeks ago if I was having sex and wanted to go on birth control because of it. It all came up because I wanted birth control for my period (but also because I was having sex) and I asked her about it. I was afraid to tell her then because my mom is Christian and very against premarital sex but now it seems like she just wants to keep me safe and doesn't care if I have had sex (I was in a relationship for a year and she probably thought I had done it) Now I want to tell her that I have done it and I want birth control but I made both my parents lose alot of trust in me recently because they caught me drinking. I don't know if I should wait to tell her when I've gained more trust back or to just tell her now because who knows when I could end up in a relationship and it could lead to doing things. I really want to start on birth control soon because it's summer and I know I might end up doing something. I already know the risks of birth control and know I should still use condoms, so there's no need to worry about that. I just need to know whether to ask now or wait. I'm 16/f btw.

Although your mother is very against premarital sex, I think you owe it to her to be honest with her. You say that it seems like she only wants to keep you safe at this point. I think you should just ask now because waiting could mean many things.

Daughter-Parent relationships need to be based on trust, and when you step up and be honest and ask your mother for birth control, that will, obviously upset her a little, since you didn't tell her before, but it will also show some maturity. If she asks why you didn't tell her a few weeks ago, just BE HONEST. There's nothing worse than lying to your parents. If you're honest with your parents, they tend to show you more respect.

--Jack
(16/m)

Hi, My current husband, father of 2 of my 3 kids is starting to treat me wrong. I am currently with him because I have a 7 month old baby. He started treating my 8yr old from a previous relationship bad. I can tolerate him treating me bad, but not my son. He is just a kid and he shouldn't take it on him. My son told me today that he kicked him and he denies it. I don't know who to believe and if I ask my husband he gives me grief. I have been with him since my son was 3yrs old. I don't let his real dad see him cause he wasn't there for me during the pregnancy.

I dont' know if I should believe my son or who...
Should I move out on my own?
Things are pretty bad now...Please advise.

Hello.

I think you need to set your kid down and ask him to tell you the ABSOLUTE truth of what happened. Ask him for details, and make sure to write it down, or have him do it. Make sure to date this, and date the incident. Then if he still says your husband kicked him, go to your husband.

Tell your husband that he NEEDS to tell you the ABSOLUTE truth. Again, ask him for details and have him write down the date and details, etc. If he claims that he did not kick your son, you need to seek help from Child Protective Services [I'm not sure the number or anything, but try this search]:

They WILL get to the bottom of this.

--Jack
(16/m)

How do I kiss someone? I've never done it before and I don't want to be horrible at it.

I know this sounds really lame, and I'm sure it is ;]

But just go with the flow. I don't really have experience in how to "properly" kiss, nor do I have experience with kissing at all! Can you say prude? ;]

Anyway- if it's your boyfriend/girlfriend- just be honest with him/her. Tell them you're nervous and you don't really know what you're doing. Apparently the people who are less-experienced is a big turn-on to some people.

Do what you feel comfortable with. If something feels awkward or uncomfortable, don't do it. If it feels right, ask the person if they are okay with that, and if they are- then you'll be fine.

There really isn't a CORRECT way to do it. Everyone does what they are comfortable with.

From my weak experience- this is what I can tell you:

1. Don't come on strong- it's really awkward for the other person.
2. Don't slobber all over the other person.
3. Don't stick your tongue all the way down their throat.

My friend on here, Laura, answered a question similar to this, and she gave a great answer. I will copy her answer, but know that credit goes to her.

www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=542699

Honestly, you could read a book about it, and you'd probably forget everything once you went in for the kiss.

Explore. Do what feels right. Make it fun, playful, romantic, whatever you want it to be. Don't make it all about jamming your tongue down his throat, and try not to drool all over him, because it's generally less than desireable to do so.

If you come off as confident it'll be a lot more fun. If all evening you're thinking "Oh my gosh, this is going to be bad" you won't enjoy yourself. Follow his lead at first, if you're truly that nervous.

And really, it's almost impossible to find a truly bad kisser. If anything, they might do something you're not used to; give it a chance before you hate it. Who knows, he might be thinking the same thing right now about you!

Over time, you'll develop your own personal style of kissing/making out, and that's not a bad thing. Do whatever feels good/right to you, and gets a positive reaction. For example, some people love a gentle, or less than gentle, bite of the lip, "necking", and other techniques. Like I already said, experiment & make it fun!

From personal experience I'd advise that you brush your teeth and floss, and have some mild mints with you, like TicTacs. Fruity is usually good, and less overpowering. If you're at a party, don't worry too much about what you're eating if you're both eating the same things, but a huge plate of hummus & extra garlic is a bad choice right before kissing =P. That's where mints come in handy for both of you. Casually offer him one if he's been gorging on something stinky.

Further reading and research:

--Jack
(16/m)

I was babysitting my cousin all last week becouse my cousin died so that my other cousin could go to her brothers funeral and she paid me $20.00 and i tried not to take it but she insisted that i did so i took the money and now i feel guilty what should i do?

I wouldn't give it back. Take it and put it in the bank or something. It was a gift from her to you, and although you didn't want to accept it, buying a present for her with the money is a bit rude [no offense to the person below me, it was a pretty good idea].

Just ask her next time that she doesn't give you money. Tell her that you're only doing it to help out the family and she doesn't need to pay you. If she wants to give you something, suggest a favor in return or something not monetary.

--Jack
(16/m)

I have never kissed anyone in my life, I really want to know how so when I do kiss someone I wont be HORRIBLE!
:]]]

I know this sounds really lame, and I'm sure it is ;]

But just go with the flow. I don't really have experience in how to "properly" kiss, nor do I have experience with kissing at all! Can you say prude? ;]

Anyway- if it's your boyfriend/girlfriend- just be honest with him/her. Tell them you're nervous and you don't really know what you're doing. Apparently the people who are less-experienced is a big turn-on to some people.

Do what you feel comfortable with. If something feels awkward or uncomfortable, don't do it. If it feels right, ask the person if they are okay with that, and if they are- then you'll be fine.

There really isn't a CORRECT way to do it. Everyone does what they are comfortable with.

From my weak experience- this is what I can tell you:

1. Don't come on strong- it's really awkward for the other person.
2. Don't slobber all over the other person.
3. Don't stick your tongue all the way down their throat.

--Jack
(16/m)

Sorry this is so epic!

Last year, my ex (after about 6 months), who I REALLY liked, moved away. We were going to stay together (wasn't THAT far) but he cheated on me and then dumped me. :|

REALLY soon after that I started going out with my current boyfriend. If I'm honest I almost went into it thinking it would be a rebound thing, but it is now 8 months later. I've been really happy the whole time.

Well, on Friday, me and a group of people including my current boyfriend went to this party. My boyfriend got really drunk and the girl who's house it was told me that he was gonna get kicked out if he didn't sort himself out. I told this to him and he blatantly lied to me saying he hadn't even drank since he'd got in - I'd given him drinks!! I got really annoyed and walked away. About five minutes later, I went back to find him - and couldn't anywhere. He'd left, but hadn't told me he was going, and had switched his phone off, and now I had no way to get home as he was going to walk me. I got very upset and started crying - bear in mind I wasn't sober myself!

Then, of all people to come and hug me, it was my ex. I literally hadn't seen him since the day he'd originally left and hadn't expected it at all so I was really thrown. He'd moved back - and said he'd take me home. On the way, we sat and talked for ages, and he went on apologising for what he did and said he'd been feeling awful about it the whole time. We talked for ages about the stuff we have in common that I don't have with my current boyfriend, and then it started gtting v personal- we were holding hands and cuddling up, and then he kissed my forehead. Warning signals started going off so I said that I'd better leave now, so I didn't actually cheat. Before I left he told me that he really missed me and that no girl in his uni compared to me.

Since then I've been feeling really confused. I love my current boyfriend, but over the past couple of days I've had strong feelings for my ex. As I hadn't seen him since I was able to push him out of my mind and I don't think I've ever really got over it. Obviously the right thing to do is stay with my current boyfriend and forget about this, but I think that's easier said than done, especially as I'll be seeing my ex loads over the summer as we live really close. Anyone got any advice?

Thanks!

You don't give your age, but I'm assuming you're around 16 or 17?

Anyway- you're only your age- and I'm definitely SURE you're a teenager. My point is this: you have your WHOLE life ahead of you.

If you want to get back together with your ex boyfriend, then go for it. He seems like he's changed, and that seems good. Of course, who knows if he's still capable of cheating? o.0

It's really up to you. But then again- just because you don't have as many things in common with your current boyfriend as with your ex, doesn't mean your ex is a better boyfriend. There are plenty of relationships where the people have ABSOLUTELY nothing in common, yet they are the best matches for each other. Opposites attract more often than you would think.

You have to figure out your priorities. You said you're happy with your boyfriend now- so does staying with him outweigh your possible desire to date your ex again?

Whatever you decide to do- be confident in your choice. Don't let ANYONE tell you that you're wrong. It's YOUR life- not their's. Then again- don't shove people away trying to give advice; listen to what they have to say, and if they are just trying to convince you blindly, then just politely refuse ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

okay so my name is emily and i am trying to think of nicknames other then em, or emmy

thanks :]

I did some digging and found a few:

1. Ema
2. Emmi
3. Lee
4. Emsie
5. Millie
6. Emly
7. Emdo
8. Emzy
9. Emmalow
10. Mallie
11. Lee-Lee
12. Emmie
13. Emelia
14. Ember
15. E
16. Mimi
17. Mee
18. Meelee
19. Emz
20. Miley
21. Emma-wee

etc.

Let me know if those are enough ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

okay so i am 15/f, and i liked this guy a couple of years ago and now this year. im pretty sure he liked me before, because his friend pretty much blert it out. anyway i am wondering if he likes me again, he looks at me evey once in a while during class, smiles, and flirts. but he flirts with pretty much every girl. then a couple of days after school ended when we were hanging out he hugged me twice(tight and for like 10sec)at diff times it was pretty much a goodbye hug because i was going somewhere for awhile which is another long story, i am just wondering do you think its possible he may have small feelings for me, or wants to be friends???? like i said i am 15/f, freshman

Hey.

It is very possible that he likes you. Here is a list of things a guy does when he likes you, from http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=506340:

1. They don't call you "sexy". They call you "beautiful", "gorgeous", "amazing", etc.

2. They make an effort to hug you. They might high-5 instead, but it really depends on the guy in question.

3. They DO find any reason to touch you in some way. Mostly it ISN'T in a sexual way. Its more of just an excuse to remember what you feel like, I guess. Its hard to explain...

4. He is always smiling around you. If you're feeling bad and he's around- he'll be smiling because he knows that he's there to help you- and that's like brownie points for a guy if they can help a girl out. That, like the above, is hard to explain.

5. He'll tell you things about himself that he normally wouldn't tell everyone. He opens up to you. Guys don't get a chance to do that when pressured to "be manly".

6. If you have a feeling that a guy likes you- you're probably right. Guys aren't the best at hiding it- and girls are even better at figuring these type of things out.

If you like this guy- and he does all or most of those things- my best bet is that he does like you. That means one and only one thing: Ask him to make sure, and then try the relationship out. Who knows- it could be great!

Here are some other useful links:
http://teenies674.tripod.com/id18.html

http://www.wikihow.com/Know-if-a-Guy-Likes-You

--Jack
(16/m)

f/15
i was just wondering, what would happen if you start to like a friend of yours in which has always been your friend. I can't tell if i have feelings for this person but i love him, i mean as a friend. I don't see him that much anymore but he is still close to me and i talk to him on the phone somtimes and sometimes on the computer. i just can't tell what i am feeling. i don't know if i feel this because he is just a really nice guy or if i just want someone to like. i think about him often at random times and sometimes i think about how cool it would be if we were together but i really dont' know how it is. i was jsut wondering, if you could help me in any way. i don't know if my heart is telling me somthing and i am trying to ignore it or what. if you could help, i would appreciate it but if you do't know how to answer then that is ok to. but i thought you might be a good person ot ask this because you like to answer these types of questions. thanks in advance!!

Hello!

First of all, I would like to sincerely apologize for the time it has taken me to respond to you. Since you asked this question back in October, and it is now June of the next year, it's been awhile, and I'm sorry about that.

Sometimes as teenagers, we believe that we NEED a relationship, whether it be for a sense of fulfillment, for popularity, or for any number of reasons. Sometimes, we also want relationships because we think we like people and we want to experiment and see if it would work out.

Unfortunately, the majority of teenage relationships fail because they are just experiments, just for popularity, or just because we feel we NEED that relationship.

If you want to date your friend, then that's quite alright. I'm not trying to tell you it isn't. If you don't want to date your friend, then that, too, is quite alright.

Dating as a teenager can be whatever you make it. It can be non existent, mild, or it can be 24/7/365. Whether you chose to continually have a relationship or not, it's fine.

Do what YOU feel comfortable with. So if you think it would be nice to date your friend, try it out ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

hi you just answered my ? about my BF's gift and it was great but i have more ?'s cause i want to give him 16 gifts in all some made some bought some meaningful and some inside jokes. thanxthanxthanx

its my boyfriends b-day soon so i was wondering about some things. we are best friends and i love him very much. ok first do guys like wallets? like if i got him a really nice wallet would he like it? or are guys not that into wallets?

i absolutely have no clue im so bad with gifts for guys i usually just buy them gift cards :P thats why my bf is so hard!

haha anyway also he really likes hockey and collects hockey cards so if i bought him a bunch as a side gift would that be good? he just gets them at Giant Eagle and the last time i went with him he bought 5 so does should i buy him some too?
and another thing would he like it if i bought him a keychain maybe engraved cause hes turning 16 and getting his permit and stuff.

i have a couple more ideas but if you have any ideas to what he might like not even big things just small things are fine that would be greatly appreciated!!! :]

I'm going to apologize upfront for me taking about SIX months to answer this.

Sometimes when I can't think of a response to a question in my inbox right away, I leave it and forget about it! Unfortunately, sometimes that means not getting to questions for another 6 months..

Anyway, I know your boyfriend's birthday has probably passed. Guys DO like wallets, and they do like collectibles. Guys like key chains, too. Basically any small gift like that is fine.

Of course, all of that information is for future reference...

Again, I apologize for the time it took me to answer back..

--Jack
(16/m)

I have this girl problem. There's this girl who says she only likes me as a big brother. But, the other day at this party, she was all over me and people kept thinking we were together because of how she was acting. I don't know what I should do.

Sorry it's taken me a few days to get to this.

You need to talk to her. Tell her that what she was doing at that party gave people the wrong impression, and you thought that she only liked you as a big brother.

Communication is always the main solution to any problem, especially this one.

Let me know how it goes =]

--Jack
(16/m)

how do you tell when a guy likes you?
i'd prefer answers from guys. thanks.

This is probably WAY overdue, but you didn't get very many answers, and I would hope you wouldn't mind getting another =].

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=506340

From there:

I'm going to give you a list of what guys tend to do when they like girls:

1. They don't call you "sexy". They call you "beautiful", "gorgeous", "amazing", etc.

2. They make an effort to hug you. They might high-5 instead, but it really depends on the guy in question.

3. They DO find any reason to touch you in some way. Mostly it ISN'T in a sexual way. Its more of just an excuse to remember what you feel like, I guess. Its hard to explain...

4. He is always smiling around you. If you're feeling bad and he's around- he'll be smiling because he knows that he's there to help you- and that's like brownie points for a guy if they can help a girl out. That, like the above, is hard to explain.

5. He'll tell you things about himself that he normally wouldn't tell everyone. He opens up to you. Guys don't get a chance to do that when pressured to "be manly".

6. If you have a feeling that a guy likes you- you're probably right. Guys aren't the best at hiding it- and girls are even better at figuring these type of things out.

If you like this guy- and he does all or most of those things- my best bet is that he does like you. That means one and only one thing: Ask him to make sure, and then try the relationship out. Who knows- it could be great!

Here are some other useful links:
http://teenies674.tripod.com/id18.html

http://www.wikihow.com/Know-if-a-Guy-Likes-You

--Jack
(16/m)

Hmm.. I saw your answer to this girl who asked if this boy liked her, and this boy who I liked did a lot of those things.. like he would stare at me and such and he would always hug me.. but here I'll just tell you what happened..

So I met him at this festival, and we were just chilling in his car talking, while everyone else drinking except for me and him. Well his friends are complete idiots and they broke these rearview mirrors off these cars.. Well he toook me to this place where my dad was going to pick me up and I was texting him after and he told me how his friends all got caught by the cops and stuff.

Well we texted for the next few days and I told him we should hang out, and so the next day he came and picked me up with my friends Andrew and Nikki. We went over his house & we were swimming and he was being really cute, he would like throw me into the pool, or attempt to and I'd freak out and he'd hug me or something I dunno.. and then he would lay on this raft thing with me.

Well I was talking to some friends that go to his school, and they all told me to be careful because he is a player, and he kinda just wants some... but then I told them that and they were like awh well thats different of him & stufff..

well miranda (andrew remick's ex girlfriend, shes obsessed w/ him still.. andrew used to be my neighbor && he's bff w/ matt ha) texted me && asked if i was goin to andrew's game an stuff and then she eventually was like did matt ask you and i asked how she knew i talked to him and she called me and said he had a girlfriend and shes on vaca and stufff, and shes just warning mee.. well i texted her and i said i thought about going for him but im glad she told me cause i just met him and i wont ruin anything between them..

wellll matt called me laterr but i didnt answerr.. but he called again and i texted him an asked why and hes like whatd you say to miranda so i called him and i told him everything..

and then i texted him and asked what she said to him and hes like she said we've been talking for a month and stufff? and i was like no i didnt even tell her we were talking and i told him how i liked him and stuff but im not about to ruin stuff b/w them.. and hes like im sorry i didnt tell you melissa and i was like i just feel so stupid.. and he didnt answer

but i texted miranda and asked and she said she didnt say that we were talking for a month and then i just told her what he told me an stuff and shes like well rachels my friend and i didnt want her to get hurt and i was like did you tell her? and she never answered.. but matt told me she did..

welll i was talking to matt and im like im sorry.. this is so stupid like nothing even happened, i understand if you hate me and stuff.. and hes like no its cool ha i knew miranda told her and i was like well i feel bad and now your girlfriend hates me now probably and hes like yeah basically ha. and i was like you probably should stop talking to me and hes like yeah probably ha andd i said you shouldd stop talking to me.. i guess this means bye and hes like im sorry this is my fault and i said no its not your fault at all and he said hes sorryy and i said its okay i dont want you getting in more shit so you shouldnt be talking to me.. and hes like okay well i guess i'll see you arouund (:

andd i was kinda like upset aboutt, it like wasnt even forreal that, i think just everything hit me cause i never cry.. but yeah ha.. so my friend taylor texted himm && said something and he told her that i told someone we were talking when we werent and they told his girlfriend.. and shes like no no its not even like that cause she didnt even say you were talking but now she cant even be your friend cause of it.. but i dont think he ever answeredd?

sorry that was really long!

I don't mean to be rude, but I seriously got lost about half way in to the question.

If you could shorten it and include only a few people, and just get to the question, and then repost in my inbox, I would be more than happy to help you.

I'm a bit ADD right now and I can't really focus on reading that entire thing =]

--Jack
(16/m)

im freaking out because me and my boyfriend had sex yesterday. it was my first time
but it wasnt like normal sex. cause his pants were still on but his zipper was unzipped so his dick was out. my whole is pretty tight so his dick was barely in me but it still hurt cuase it was my first time. but he didnt use a condom and my cherry didnt pop. and his dick was in me about 3 times which all together was maybe 5 minutes? and i know he didnt cum and he says he didnt either. but im scared that i could be pregant. i havent slept at all and ive been googling like everything and i know about precum and stufff. and the morning after pill. but im 15 and i cant get it. and there is nooo way i can tell my mom. she would like kill me
i really dont think i am but i dont want to take any chances. what can i do.
and does anyone think i am pregnant?

WHENEVER you have vaginal sex, there is ALWAYS a chance- that may be slim, but since you were unprotected, the chance is even greater.

YG [younggrandma], who is an advice columnist here has frequently given this site out, which I have read a few times, and it seems to have good information:

www.coolnurse.com

Check it out- it will really help you.

Please use protection if you're not wanting to get pregnant.

--Jack
(16/m)

On projectplaylist.com, I can't find Mo City Don (freestyle). So when you search it, if you scroll down you'll see "Can't find what you're looking for? Click here" So I did that. But I can't get it to work? Can anyone try? Pleassseee.. and if it doesnt work i guess, can you tell me some songs that are like Mo City Don (Freestyle) By Z-Ro.

http://search.playlist.com/tracks/Mo%20City%20Don

I found it. Maybe that isn't the right song playing. I'm not sure. Let me know and I'll do more digging.

--Jack
(16/m)

16/f
i have two best friends. one is a girl, she's my sister, my life, my everything and i love her dearly. the other is a guy and for all the time we've been best friends we've told people we're married because thats just the way we've always acted. i can't describe the relationship, we bitch and fight and nag but in the end it always results in a hug and an "i love you". he told me he liked me in 7th grade but little did we know we had both liked each other on and off since then and we have now just finished junior year.

so after spending the entire last weekend at his house i decided that i would finally tell him i liked him. we spent the weekend in his hot tub until 1am, driving around in his truck, he picked me up and spun me in the air which was adorable and then we sat in his field and watched the sunset, then when it was dark we sat and watched the fire flies, just talking until i had to leave. the weekend was so amazing and it took all my strength not to kiss him because i thought he thought of us as a brother/sister relationship.

so i come into school monday, the day i decide to tell him, and i see him with his ex girlfriend who he has broken up with nine times. NINE!! in 2 years. i don't get along with her too much and whenever he's with her he starts being a jerk to me and i've told him that and he doesn't believe it. so anyway i found out that his ex girlfriend who he had just gotten over...once again, decided to break up with her boyfriend b/c she missed this guy(my best friend). now from the best friend point of view i didnt want him to go through this bullshit again so i called him after school to complain anyway while on the phone we both ended up saying that we both like each other and we both think we would be an amazing couple and he goes on to say that when hes with his on again off again girlfriend he thinks about me and thinks how much better it would be. so im thinking "ok hes going to finally listen to me and not go back to his girlfriend" but no, then he says "i want to be with you but i feel like i should be with HER. but i know i'll keep liking you because i always do, so we'll see where it goes and we have all of senior year and college to be together." so at first im thinking, ok what the hell is this but then i'm just like whatever i'll deal with it like i always do. next day in school they're going out and he has the nerve to bring her over to our lunch table and he's being his normal "got my ex back" jerk personality that he denies he has. and its like he was rubbing in my face that he was with her which is not something he normally does...ever. so he was being an ass and i decided that i was feeling a little devilish so i decided to bring up the topic of me being over at his house almost every day for the past two weeks. his girlfriend wasn't happy but i was satisfied.

SO, i cant wait around forever right? even though my best friend is the perfect boyfriend and everything i've ever wanted. now, this guy that i've hooked up with in the past wants to start a friends with benefits relationship...again. he's incredibly hot and sexy and he thinks the same of me so im deciding to go for it but im still a little cautious because my best friend says the only reason he didn't tell me he liked me sooner was because i was hooking up with this guy and he didn't think i'd want to be with him after being with my hook up buddy?

so, do i wait it out alone because i know the relationship won't last long or do i have a little fun and go for this friends with benefits relationship??

sorry this question turned out to be so long.

For some reason, I wasn't quite bothered by the length, as I normally am.

I think that you need to decide if it's REALLY worth it to wait it out for your best friend. Because if it is, well then that's what you should do. He sounds like a good guy, and you probably would be together had that girl not existed =P.

If it isn't worth waiting to you, then don't wait. You have your entire life ahead of you to date, and if it isn't worth it to wait, I don't know, a couple of months, maybe, then don't do it. It would be a waste of your time.

I personally wouldn't go for the friends-with-benefits thing, but that's just me. If having fun is better to you than waiting, then why not, I guess.

--Jack
(16/m)

My family (husband and 2 kids) have not had a real family vacation in 8 years. My kids asked to go to Disney World. They are ages 15 and 12. I booked a 1 week vacation about 4 months ago. We are scheduled to leave June 28th. My mother has since been diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. Her surgery is June 27th. My only sibling is flying to NJ from CA to be with my mom. I told my husband to go on the Florida trip without me because I felt that the right thing for me to do would be to stay with my mother. He is refusing to go without me and blaming me for ruining our vacation. Is it right for him to blame me? We can’t cancel without losing a lot of money. We will not be able to book another trip anywhere in the near future because fuel prices are sky high, and we would have already lost a bundle. Do I go on the trip or stay with my mother who may be dying in the near term?

Wow. This is a tough question.

Personally, I would stay with your mother. She has CANCER. She, as you are aware, has a chance of dying. I think it is important that you stay with her, because you don't know how much longer she will be around.

If your husband is going to be mad, tell him that he really has no right to be mad at you. Your mother is about to have surgery. It is only right that you be with her through this. He would probably do the same thing if it were his mother.

How would you feel if your mother passed away during her surgery and you weren't there to support her. The guilt of not being there would entirely outweigh the guilt of not going with your family on a mere vacation. Yes, the vacation is important to your family, but I think the value of your mother's life is worth far more than some silly vacation, which, you may not be able to go on later this year, but may be able to next year or some other later date.

It is unfortunate that your husband does not understand the situation at hand.

Stay with your mother. She raised you and she loves you. You need to give back to her for everything I'm sure she's done for you. Don't let your husband tell you that you're ruining the vacation.

I wish the best for your mother, and I will be praying for her.

--Jack
(16/m)

if i wanted to become someone who writes the scripts for TV and movies, what would i major in during college?

http://careerservices.rutgers.edu/theater.html

According to that, Theatre Arts.

Maybe English, too.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080314213102AAP6Saw

Some people there said Journalism, Media Arts, Film Studies, etc.

When you are applying for colleges, ask your high school counselor about your options for that.

=]
--Jack
(16/m)

when a girl swallows, why do guys like it and think its hot?

I personally don't know because I don't have experience with that, but my guess is that it's a pride thing. Guys like to know they have some sort of authority, I guess, and that makes them like in charge.

Hmm..

--Jack
(16/m)

13/f
Ok so there is this boy i like, "jason". I first met him last yr when he came to our skool. We got off to a rough start in our friendship but then this yr. my two of my teachers sat us next to each other. We got along great and now we are pretty much bff's. We always ALWAYS talk in skool. And we text ALL THE TIME! We text every single day for about an hour each day. Im txting him now lol.

Anyway I think he likes me. What do you think?

And do guys think it's weird if i would say something like "we shuld hang out sometime!"? Do they think its stalker-ish?

Hey. We really can't judge if he likes you or not just based on the fact that he texts and talks to you a lot.

And if definitely is not weird if you asked to hang out. If you're friends, it shouldn't be weird. Guys don't normally over-analyze things, and they generally don't think stuff like that is weird.

Here's something that may help you decide if he likes you or not:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=506340

From there:

I'm going to give you a list of what guys tend to do when they like girls:

1. They don't call you "sexy". They call you "beautiful", "gorgeous", "amazing", etc.

2. They make an effort to hug you. They might high-5 instead, but it really depends on the guy in question.

3. They DO find any reason to touch you in some way. Mostly it ISN'T in a sexual way. Its more of just an excuse to remember what you feel like, I guess. Its hard to explain...

4. He is always smiling around you. If you're feeling bad and he's around- he'll be smiling because he knows that he's there to help you- and that's like brownie points for a guy if they can help a girl out. That, like the above, is hard to explain.

5. He'll tell you things about himself that he normally wouldn't tell everyone. He opens up to you. Guys don't get a chance to do that when pressured to "be manly".

6. If you have a feeling that a guy likes you- you're probably right. Guys aren't the best at hiding it- and girls are even better at figuring these type of things out.

If you like this guy- and he does all or most of those things- my best bet is that he does like you. That means one and only one thing: Ask him to make sure, and then try the relationship out. Who knows- it could be great!

Here are some other useful links:
http://teenies674.tripod.com/id18.html

http://www.wikihow.com/Know-if-a-Guy-Likes-You

--Jack
(16/m)

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