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Should I go on a planned family vacation or help my mom?
My family (husband and 2 kids) have not had a real family vacation in 8 years. My kids asked to go to Disney World. They are ages 15 and 12. I booked a 1 week vacation about 4 months ago. We are scheduled to leave June 28th. My mother has since been diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. Her surgery is June 27th. My only sibling is flying to NJ from CA to be with my mom. I told my husband to go on the Florida trip without me because I felt that the right thing for me to do would be to stay with my mother. He is refusing to go without me and blaming me for ruining our vacation. Is it right for him to blame me? We can’t cancel without losing a lot of money. We will not be able to book another trip anywhere in the near future because fuel prices are sky high, and we would have already lost a bundle. Do I go on the trip or stay with my mother who may be dying in the near term?
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You should stay with your mother.
Your husband is being a prissy bitch. I think he feels threatened by all the attention you're going to be putting on your mother during her time of need and he's doing whatever it takes to divert it back to him. Don't fall for it.
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first of all your husband is not seeing the full picture. your mom needs you and would you really have fun knowing that your mom might need you?
sit your kids down and explain the situation, they are old enough to understand that you need to be with your mom. tell your husband to go with your kids so they can still have fun and you can devote your complete attention on the one who needs you the most right now, your mom.
ps i hope your mom gets better and i will pry for yall :]
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I am sorry to hear about your mother and your husband too.
He is selfish, inconsiderate and out of order for his thoughts. Being that Disney is so important to him, let him go without you. Your mom comes first. She has made many sacrifices for you and it is important that you make sacrifices for her as well. He should never force or even pressure you to make a decision between your family and your mom.
If it were reversed, what would he do? catch 22 question. If he is as selfish as he seems, he would go to Disney. If he still as selfish as he seems, he would stay with his mom and then expect you not to stay with yours!
Stay with your mom. I am not sure if you read the bible or not, but if you do, read the chapter of Ruth. You will be blessed for putting your mom first because you will be honoring and respecting her and she deserves it, as well as needs it. Spend as MUCH time with her as you can. We only have one mother and once our mother is gone, we sit back and think of what we could've done or should've done - not only are you going to be there for her, you will be also eliminating any regrets in the future!
I am praying for your mother, and your family over all. I am also praying that God touches your husband, his thoughts & views so that he is more supportive & encouraging of you. I am also praying for your strength throughout this. Continue being strong and May God Bless you!
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you are the only person who can truly make this decision. but think about it this way... you family has plenty of time to go on vacation later in life, and there will always be another chance. But with your mom, there may not be another chance. this is only going to happen once [hopefully] and your mom really needs you. your husband may be upset now, but eventually he will understand. he has no right to blame you, and you just really need to explain to him your dillemma. hopefully he will respect whatever decision you decide to make and maybe even help you to make the right decision. just let him know that this is really hard on you and that you need him right now.
whatever decision you make, it will most liekly be the right one. just look deep down in your heart, and you will know what you really need to do.
Good luck with everything and my prayers are with your mom :)
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It is not Right for your husband to blame you, You know that. I understand that you are having difficulties making the right decision. You need to stop, step back from the situation, and evaluate your options. 1st, when you say that the "right thing" for you to do is stay back with your mom, That is really what you feel you 'should' do. 2nd, have you had a conversation with your mom or sibling about your situation? Maybe your mom wouldn't want your kids to miss out on Disney. They are getting older and there is not a lot of years left for family trips.
How long is this sibling planning on staying with your mom? Will he/she be there the whole time you would be gone?
If you go on this vacation and something does happen, the trip would be cut short anyway and you would lose money.
There are family emergency rates for flights that are offered at discounted prices. Check with some airlines.
The surgery is a day before the vacation, You can see your mom through the surgery and if it goes smoothly, still take the vacation. If things don't go smoothly, then you can cancel.
These are just some options. Talk with your mom and sibling, see what they have to say.
It is not ok for your husband to be so inconsiderate at such a trying time. I am sorry that you have to go through this and I am sorry that your husband is not being supportive.
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Wow. This is a tough question.
Personally, I would stay with your mother. She has CANCER. She, as you are aware, has a chance of dying. I think it is important that you stay with her, because you don't know how much longer she will be around.
If your husband is going to be mad, tell him that he really has no right to be mad at you. Your mother is about to have surgery. It is only right that you be with her through this. He would probably do the same thing if it were his mother.
How would you feel if your mother passed away during her surgery and you weren't there to support her. The guilt of not being there would entirely outweigh the guilt of not going with your family on a mere vacation. Yes, the vacation is important to your family, but I think the value of your mother's life is worth far more than some silly vacation, which, you may not be able to go on later this year, but may be able to next year or some other later date.
It is unfortunate that your husband does not understand the situation at hand.
Stay with your mother. She raised you and she loves you. You need to give back to her for everything I'm sure she's done for you. Don't let your husband tell you that you're ruining the vacation.
I wish the best for your mother, and I will be praying for her.
--Jack
(16/m)
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