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Q: my name is alexus my question is me and my best friend have been friends for a year and a 1/2 we are like sisters but i feel that sometimes i love her more than that. A few months back i started having romantic dreams about her and me. Lately i have been wanting to tell her, but the fear of loseing her as a freind has held me back. Your the only person i've told. please help me.

Alexus,
I am so sorry that I have not answered your question sooner. I have not logged in here in a while and I just saw that you messaged me.
As for your question:
Many people have romantic dreams about people in their lives. This does not necessarily mean that they have romantic feelings for these people.
Often dreams tell us things about ourselves and our feelings that we may not see in our waking life. You may have feelings for your friend and are afraid to accept it or are afraid of the consequences of your feelings. You may also be expressing the intimacy you share w/your friend in a way that you can understand it, which is romantic.
I don't know how old you are, but if you are in adolescence then you may not have experienced this type of intimacy w/a friend before.
My suggestion is that you let it play out naturally. You don't want to tell your friend about a feeling that you are not sure of in fear of hurting the friendship and possibly loosing a friend. This is especially true if you are confused about your feelings. This may pass. If you find that you do have romantic feelings and she does not feel the same way, it may be uncomfortable for both of you.
I would keep these feelings to myself until I knew how I really felt and if she felt the same way.
I hope this helped and I hope I was not too late.
Please let me know how everything turned out.
Thank you for confiding in me.

Q: I am quiet late on my period,the date of the 1st day of my last period was on the 16th May, i am regualar, i took a pregnancy test on the 21st june and its come out negative.is there a possibilty that i can be pregnant or have i done the test to early.plz someone help me, feeling a bit alone and confused at the minute.thank you for reading this

I would need some more information about you to accurately assess your situation, but I will do my best. There are many reasons why you may be late. Pregnancy is one reason and it is possible that your test read a false negative. If you take another one it should tell you for sure. Make sure you read the directions and follow it exactly. Sometimes if you use the pee-on kind, your urine flow may not have been long enough, or you may have splashed on something it shouldn't have. Try using a receptacle and holding the stick in it.
If you have been under stress lately, this could mess with your cycle by prolonging the start of your period.
If you are young, then your period might just be adjusting even though it has been regular.
sometimes womans cycles will sync up if you have recently been living or spending a lot of time with other woman,
Sometimes your period may halt or become irregular if your eating habits have changed, or you have had weight loss, or excessive exercise.

Have you been having any symptoms of pregnancy? Nausea, vomiting, light-headed, dizzy, emotional, extra tired, weight loss or gain, irritability/ mood swings? any of these symptoms could be an indication of pregnancy.
You can always go down to a planned parenthood or similar clinic, if you don't have or want to see a doctor. Try taking another test in the next few days, If it comes up negative again you should be in the clear If it is positive then there are resources to help you. Wishing you the best.

Q: alright so i cant orgasm with my boyfriend, and i have masterbated before but i havent orgasmed from it.
the problem is that when my bf is pleasuring me or whatever...it feels amazing but i always wanna pull away. like i cant help myself it feels so good but i always stop him....
i dont know what my problem is

You Probably will have extremely intense orgasms. You should practice on yourself. If you are old enough (18), then you should invest in a vibrator with multiple speeds. This way if it becomes too intense you can lower the speed until it feels just right. Next time you feel the urge to pull away tell him to be more gentle. If he lightens up it may allow you to orgasm with less intensity. Also If you try those condoms with the vibrating ring, you can get a variety of stimulation that will lessen the concentration of that area and allow for a comfortable and pleasurable orgasm.

Q: 17/f

I am thinking of maybe going to university next year after I finish high school. I really want a career in art but I have no idea what I could possibly do.
I don't want to do like technology or anything involving computers ie: graphic artist etc.
I also know that I can't just be an artist because no artists make any money until they die anyway.
What careers could I possibly think about so I know what to do in uni?

There are many opportunities in art. You can go for art education and teach art classes at all levels, there is also art therapy which is really interesting. Also there are jobs in advertising, illustration, media, and the like. Most colleges and universities will have a description of possible careers for each major. Take a look at the website for the universities that you are interested in. This will give you a better idea of what is out there. Good luck!

Q: So, how many eggs does a typical human female have at birth?

If you figure a woman begins menstruating at the average age of 12 and finish at the average age of 51 then that's a good 39 years between of menstruating. If you take those 39 years and say you have 12 periods (one per month, of course) each year, in which you release one egg each cycle, then that'd be about 468, right? So, are we born with 468 eggs or there about?

The number is usually given as 400, I don't know if that is the average, but it is sadly only four hundred, or possibly luckily only 400, depending on how you look at it.

Q: What subjects would you have to REALLY be good in to sucessfully become a counsolar. Im wanting to be a marriage and family counsolar.

To be a licensed Marriage and Family counselor (depending on your state), you'll probably need a Master's degree or a special certificate. Most counselor's start out with a Bachelor's degree in Psychology or Social work. There are specific post-bachelor's programs for specialization in Marriage & Family. You'll want to take a lot of sociology classes and anything related to relationships. I actually have a lot of counseling info. If there is anything else you wanted to know on the subject. Good Luck with your goal.

Q: hi i have this really angry-red boil thing on my vag. it doesnt hurt and it only itches sometimes, but im scared to scratch it in case it bursts. ive never had sex and i masturbate with my hands but not excessively.

what is it??

It Could be a number of things. It may be an ingrown hair (although they are usually a bit painful or irritating), an infected pore, or a bug bite. If you never had any sexual contact with anyone (that includes anything that you might think of as pertaining to sex), then it sounds like your in the clear for an STD. I would call your doctor if you have one, or talk to your local pharmacist. You might want to try a hot soak on the tub, maybe add some Epsom salt. It will probably go away on its own, but If you are really worried about it, or it seems to not get any better, then by all means contact a professional. Hope This helps.

Q: Whenever I masturbate, I have an orgasm, but when I have sex with my boyfriend, I don't. It feels good but I never hit that point. I can't tell him because then he would know that I faked it every time but I want to be able to orgasm from him..any suggestions? I tried focusing really hard on how good it felt, but it wasn't much help.

Apparently 30 something percent of woman can't have an orgasm through intercourse. Your first mistake was faking it in the 1st place. Now your kinda stuck, b/c you have been sorta lying to him. If you want to have a good relationship you need to be honest and comfortable with your partner, in and out of the bedroom. If you are faking orgasms you are cheating the both of you, but especially you. You need to start being honest with him. That way the two of you can try things together that may work. You can invest in a small vibrator to place against your clitoris that could bring you to climax and stimulate him as well. You need to be open with your partner, The sex will be much more exciting when you are able to discuss it and enjoy it mutually.

Q: Okay I have been on birth control almost 2monthes now. Well I haven't had my period in a month, I didn't take my sugar pills but I don't think that should have an effect on my period NOT coming. I have had no signs of pregnancy an I took a test 3 days before my period was supposed to come which was the 7th? SO I need advice???

You are supposed to use an alternate form of birth control for the 1st 3 month while you body acclimates to the adjustment in hormones. Your period can be abnormal during those 3 months. A pregnancy test is most accurate after your period is missed not before because the hormone that the test detects is not always potent enough until then. Sometimes people on birth control will not have a period at all. You will want to talk to your doctor and take another test. It could be just a response to the BC, but there might be a possibility that you are pregnant.

Q: 15/f/usa/165lbs/5'4
hey. for some reason ive felt lately that i dont "belong" anywhere. Like I do alot of activites, swim team, 4-H, ride horses, play violin, ski. But truth be told, im not like good enough at any of these things. Im good or ok, i do alot of activities but not really super good at any of them. Anyways, I have friends in each of like everything i do, but i always feel left out. At swim team, my friends like ignore me, in 4-H, im left out of what my best friends do together, in orchestra no one talks to me, and i try to bring up convos and such, im rele talkative. And skiing, same thing. I feel like really lonely. And there is only like one person i can tell anything too. But it seems like i dont belong anywhere. And I know i like attention, i was first born, so. I'm starting to think I dont even belong with my family. I guess it doesnt even matter. I have really low-self esteem when i talk about this stuff. And im not exactly happy with myself, im trying to lose weight and look better, i want to be a normal teen, even though there is no such thing as normal. I feel like no one in the world cares about me at times. I feel like an outcast...

I am so sorry, I now what it feels like to not belong. I would hate for you to not continue doing the things you like just because you don't feel like you are good enough. Being a teenager is hard enough as is w/o feeling like an outcast. All I can suggest for you is to enjoy what you are doing, don't try too hard to be involved with the people you are doing them with. Find a shy girl to befriend, she may appreciate being noticed. Maybe you and she have more in common than you know. If your best friends are ignoring you maybe they are mot your best friends. Or maybe they are waiting for you to come talk to them. Don't let your weight be an obstacle. You are a fascinating person with lots of interests. Use that to your advantage.

Q: what the heck is incest or insest? I'm cousin dating cousin. Is it really so bad? what if your a christian and lets say 4th cousins? What would happen?

Ok so you 4th cousins, that means what exactly? Your parent's cousins have a kid, who have a kid who you are dating? If your Family doesn't have a problem with it, then it should be no big deal. Back in the day, Like Victorian era and such, people used to only mate with relatives to keep the blood line pure. It is taboo these days, but if no one has any objections, then who the hell cares. As long as you are both consenting adults (differs from state to state), then don't tell anyone out side the family; unless of course you want to start a controversy. The way I see it we are all related by some way or another, maybe even by six degrees of separation. Christians have funny rules about a lot of stuff, so you would have to check with your local reverend. Incest is a family member seeping with a family member, but that does not legally apply to you, unless it is your daughter, niece, nephew, sibling and the like. Though it technically counts as incest, you cant get in legal trouble, unless he or she is under the consenting age.

Q: This problem hasn't popped up only recently; it's been around for, I'd say, years already. I know that my dad no longer loves my mom and she seems to be hanging onto the marriage simply for my sake (I'm an only child, so I'm more protected, etc). To make things worse, my dad has someone on the side; I don't know who she is but I've heard phone calls. Usually my dad has a booming voice, but when she calls/he calls her, I can barely hear a word. I used to believe that if I ever found out who she was, I would make her life a living hell for what she was doing with my dad. Several years (and more experiences) later, I know it's my dad's fault more than anything. Well, if I knew her, I would STILL despise her, but that's beside the point. I resent my dad for what he does and I wish that I could hate him, but I find it impossible: he's been a good dad & my mom's side of the fam loves him (if only they knew, right?). Divorce used to equal death for me. If they were fighting, and even so much as mentioned the word, I would sob uncontrollably until they promised to stop fighting for my sake. It's always resolved for my sake, and that's not fair to my mom. What did she do to deserve this from my dad? He's always in his own world, giving my mom the usual "mhm" to anything she says. He even does that to me sometimes. But being 16 now, I've realized that a divorce is the right way, the only way, to truly resolve things. Neither of them can ever be happy again while trapped in this marriage. Of course, I'll still be pained beyond belief if/when they do, but it becomes more and more of a possibility with each fight that I have to listen to. So I guess I've forced myself to believe that a divorce is not the end of the world. My problem now is, they still don't know that I'll actually be able to cope if it does happen. In fact, I wish I could tell them to just split up already, but is that the smart thing to do right now?

To add to that problem, I have my own issues with depression. I've harmed myself intentionally due to things that upset/angered me. I've been clean for maybe half a year now but I'm not convinced that the divorce won't bring me back into that state of being. I always told myself not to go back, yet I ended up hurting myself anyway and then felt guilty. But above all, my mom's happiness is what counts the most. She's recently been saying things to me like "I'm really sad. My life is just so tiring." You don't know how much I want to cry from hearing the pain in her voice.

Right now, I'm just stuck between bitterness, confusion, and hatred. Any advice would be great, since I haven't told anyone I know about any of this yet. Thanks.

First I would like to thank you for confiding in me. I know that I am just a faceless being behind you computer screen, but I am glad you have found it in you to tell someone what you are going through.
I want you to know that even though you love your mom and she is important to you, you need to be the the focus of your own attention when it comes to this matter. The depression and self harm that you have experienced is a major priority. You have to first know that the problems of your parents is not your fault. You may not have stated that you feel to blame for your parents unhappiness, but I think that your discomfort and the way it has shown it's self (depression & hurting your self) is a sign that you might blame your self for your parents not getting divorced. I know you want to be there for your mom and hate your dad for what he is doing,but that only puts more stress on you. I think you should tell your dad what you know. If you have a good relationship with him and don't fear any repercussions. As for your mom, let her know how you feel. If she is able to confide in you about her feelings, return the courtesy by telling her how this is affecting you. Divorce is hard for everyone involved, but people work through it. You need to seek out some counseling. It is not healthy for you to hold these things in. That is why you are depressed and harming yourself. I would be more than willing to help you as much as I can You can contact me via email at shrinkingviolet14214@yahoo.com at anytime. If you think that your parents are just staying together for "your sake" then maybe its time to have a family meeting to let them know how you feel and what the situation is doing to you. What ever happens don't think that this is your fault.
I hate the man, but I have to quote Dr. Phil on this one by saying "a child would rather be from a broken home than living in one".
If there is anything more I can do please don't hesitate to let me know.

Q: My best friend since 1st grade has a huge crush on a guy that's 22 years old and she's only 14. I know it's wrong but I don't think she does. She think's she love's him and she cant keep her mind off him. She told me thing's that him and her have done. She told me that one time they went walking and they started making out and he pulled her shorts and underwear down and fingered her. They kiss and hug when they are alone and when they hug he always grab's her boob. And to top it all off. He has a girlfriend, and his girlfriend is also one of my friends and i dont want either one to get hurt. Please help me.

First of all, What is happening is wrong! You are correct to be concerned. He is a grown man and she is still a child. He knows this is wrong too! She may think she loves him, but she is really young and does not realize that that is not the case. If they are having sexual relations, then it is most likely illegal. They are having sexual relations if he is touching her in her private places. If you friend that is his girlfriend is the same age as she is, then that in wrong too. He is an adult and he is taking advantage of children. Even though you and your friends may seem grown up sometimes, you are still considered children in the eyes of the law.
If you want to get her away from this guy, who is obviously a pervert, then you need to tell someone. you can tell your parents, her parents, a teacher, a school counselor, or someone in authority. I know this is something that will be difficult to do, but it is not right what he is doing to her. You don't have to tell anyone that you told. She is making a mistake that could hurt her in the long run. There is a reason that they make laws like to protect children from older predators like him and it is so the child does not get hurt. I hope that I could help, if there is anything else I can do let me know. Good luck.

Q: 14/f

Okay I recently noticed that I've developed stretch marks on my thighs. I've read that they develope because of weight gain, but I exercise all the time, I'm a runner you see? I'm 5'5 and 115 pounds, so what I'm asking is...will they go away as I get older, and when exactly?

Around puberty a woman's body begins to change. Hips and thighs often become more voluptuous (it happens with breasts too). It's is not a matter of being overweight. They will probably fade to barely noticeable overtime. Don't worry about it.

Q: In a month I am getting a FEMALE Saint Benard and I am stumped with names. The breeder wants to start calling her by her name asap. Can you help me think so some names.

I always wanted a St. Bernard named Bianca

Q: i asked a question on whether or not it would be contridicting
and someone answered this
anarchy represents chaos and fighting, conflict.
but, like peace it's for change.
peace wants to change how people hate and disagree. anarchy wants to stop rules.
in the end, they both want freedom.

so would this make since?

or would it be contridicting?
i wanna get both,but i don't want it to seem ignorant

You wouldn't seem ignorant you would seem insightful. They compliment each other. Especially if the two symbols were intertwined into one piece. Your body art is supposed to be an expression of self. No matter what, if you have a tattoo someone is going to look down on it in one way or another. They do both represent freedom in a way. That is a reason why they are complimentary. Some people may not get it, but I think many will. Where is it going to be? Do you have an idea for a design? I am really interested now.

Q: do you ever really get that buttergly in the stomach, tingly feeling that you read about in books and see on movies? i have kissed many guys, and all my kisses are well... dissapointing? i am a hopeless romantic, but am i ever going to get that "perfect" kiss? or is it all a myth and should i just settle for what i got now?

experiances and advice is much appreciated. thanks in advanced!

Don't expect it first of all. If you are eager to experience it, it will let you down. It really does happen when your seriously crushing on someone and you are playing that does he/ she like me. the innocent flirtation, the glances from across the way. the build up is the best part. Make that game last. When you finally can't take it anymore and when you feel like you don't kiss this person you are going to explode... that's when it will happen. But those tingly butterflies have to be there way before you kiss in order for them to be there for the kiss.

Q: i have always been known as the school slut. but the truth is... ive only kissed two guys, and i had real feelings for both of them. its because i have a very flirty personality... but i am NOT slutty.

how can i get people to stop thinking of me this way...? please dont tell me to tone down my fliring because it is who i am. and i cant

I am going to guess that people are jealous of you. You get the attention of guys by flirting with them. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Unfortunately your 'reputation' will be with you for a while, that's just how it is. High school is tough(or adolescence anyway,) but it is not going to be that way forever. I know it seems like everything now, but you will soon realize that being called a slut is not the worst thing in the world. Teenagers are judgmental and catty. They will find anything to gab about. If you were the first to develop, you would be a 'slut' also. As long as you and your friends know that you area good girl, forget about everyone else. Be who you are and remember that these people who think of you as a slut are just as insecure as you are. Everyone at your age is.

Q: This is an emergency...
Im gaining so much weight from taking "the pill" so anyone or anybody kno any diff type of birth control method that doesn't make u gain weight and makes u have fewer menstrual periods? Please need help asap!
Thanx so much in advance!

Depending on your weight you can use a low dose pill like ortho-tricyclen lo. It will not make you gain weight, you might even lose a few. It is not recommended for people over 140lbs. I think it makes it less effective or something. Check it out on line.

Q: 16/f

I find it really difficult to shave my bikini area, because it seems like all the hair is growing in different directions, and I always get little bumps even if I use a brand new rasor. I just cant get a close shave- which is weird because I have no problem having a close shave on my legs. So, my question is, you know that "Nair" stuff? like the spray on, rinse off and hair is gone stuff? I was wondering if you cound use that on your bikini area. Is it made to do that? Has anyone done that before and can tell me if it works or not? Any info about the usage of "Nair" is appreciated. Thank you!

There is a specially formulated hair removal cream for the bikini area; I believe it is Nair, but it could be another brand. I used it and didn't have a problem w/irritation or anything, but I am not very hairy. You may have differing results depending on the amount and thickness of your hair and the sensitivity to products. I would wax if I wasn't shy, besides the extreme pain and irritation, I have heard only good things about the results of waxing. But if you are shy and have an aversion to pain like me, go with the cream.

bio

Everyone needs help sometimes. I am here to help people find answers for life's dilemmas. I can't help everyone, but I will try to point you in the right direction. I am educated in the behavioral science field and have counseling experience.