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I am a 23 yr old divorced female. I have always been one to be in committed relationships. And now I find myself unable to commit to a man. I tell myself I want a relationship. But the reality of it is I don't.
I lost my father in january 2010 and a few weeks after that my relationship with my boyfriend ended. I loved him with all my heart and still do to this day.
Since then, I have not been the same person. I don't know who I am any more. I hate to admit this but I've become a bit, how do I put it, permiscuous. I find myself not wanting to be with one man. I find myself just havin partners. This isn't me. And I don't know how to change it. I don't know how to get back to the old me. I don't recognize the person I have become. And I sure don't like it either.
Any input would be helpful. I don't know what's going on with me. So any advice or views would be helpful. Thanks.
Hey,
I believe you are unable to commit to a relationship, for you have gone through loss and don't want to end up feeling that way again. You lost both your Dad and your boyfriend around the same time which is a lot to deal with. I'm sorry. You don't feel the same because you aren't the same. It sounds like you feel the need to be with someone and then once in the relationship think "what am I doing?". What you have to do is ask yourself: do I really want to be with this person? Is this person treating me the way I need them to? And am I happy with this person? If you answer no, then you should know that you need to move on to someone new. There is a man out there who will treat you lovingly, if you let yourself skip over these "holders" for the man who you really want to be with. You said you know you have changed; you should also know what you really want in a guy and only search for/be with that person. If you hold onto these fillers for a long time, it will only drag you down slowly. Be with a man who treats you with respect. If you allow men like this into your life, you should find yourself again... for he will bring out the best in you
Lately, my parents have been getting in more fights. My dad likes to make up lies about my mom to make people side with him. My mom is kind of spazzy, so she'll freak out if something's out of place or if something doesn't go the way she wants it to, but she's really a nice lady. And my dad can be funny sometimes, but he really doesn't know when to stop and he's rude. He's really anti-social. He grew up without parents and he even lived on the streets for a while. He doesn't speak English at all, nor does he plan to learn, so my mom and I have to do all the talking since my sister is basically just as shy. My dad keeps saying he's going to move out and every time we try to get my mom and him together to get along, he ruins it by saying he hates my mom and all this crazy stuff about her, but he's still here and he actually had the nerve to ask my mom to help him find an apartment somewhere, but my mom said hell no. She won't tell me how she feels about it, just that she doesn't care. And my dad is really starting to get annoying and grouchy all the time... Quite frankly, I think they'd be better off seperated... But, I don't know. Does anyone have any tips on what should be done in this kind of situation? Have you gone through any divorces? Help, please :(
Hi,
The things I can think of are: marriage counselling (your parents might not find this a good idea even though it could be), or you helping them find ways to get along and remember why they married in the first place. You have to let them know that there is still good in the other person and try to bring out the best in them again. Do things to help out to make things easier on them and try not to start conflict if they are very sensitive to words.
My parents divorced about five years ago so I know what it is like to be in between a divorce. The best you can do is help them find the good in eachother and in life and go from there. The more you can communicate with your parents without forcing conversation (asking a lot of questions/being bothersome) the more you can find out what exactly they are fighting about and get on their good sides. Don't try to fix their problems though, because that can only make them more upset. If they need your help, they will ask for it.
What you can do, is make suggestions. Say things like "I know you don't want to, but I think Dad would be happy with an apartment" to your Mom. This shows you want to help your Dad and that you would like your Mom to help if she could. Then see if she does try to help. If she does, make another suggestion later on. You can try the same with your Dad. If two people aren't happy with eachother, sometimes all you can do is sit on the sidelines and watch (which sucks alot). Try to make suggestions, see if they would go to counselling, and be the best you can be. If you stay positive, your parents will be more positive. Happiness is what your family needs right now; spread it around
20 Female.
So this always happens and I feel SO bad. I start talking to a guy and then we basically talk dirty to each other over text or whatever, and I get really horny like I want them there with me right then. But then when it comes time to do something -anything, I just can't. I feel uncomfortable. This is how I always am at first and then the guys think I'm a tease like you just said you wanted to do this or that and now you're saying no and telling me to stop? I am an attractive girl, guys are always like "your so sexy, I'm sorry i just can't keep my hands off of you" and I'm confident with how I look so I don't know what the problem is. It's like I really wanna be sexual with someone, but then when it comes time to actually doing something ..I back off. I don't want to be considered a tease but my hormones always get the best of me during texting and then it just goes away when I am actually with them and they're trying to get with me.
What should I do? It's not that I don't want to, for some reason it's like I'm not allowing myself to. And then it's like if they're not all over me when we're together then I really want it. It's so weird!
Hey there,
It is definately way easier to talk/flirt/communicate with someone over text. Being in person can make it more nerve-wrecking and you tend to be more cautious of what you say, since it is face to face interaction. I know what you mean about saying things and then backing off when someone wants to put those words you used into action. You just have to relax and tell yourself to just let it be. If someone says you are sexy and can't take their hands off of you, they are obviously attracted and you should try to let them be closer to you. Besides, putting their hands on you is nothing big and it is sure to be a turn-on for both of you in the end.
It may be a trust thing too. You should be able to trust the person you want to be sexual with; therefore giving you comfort so you are not worried about having sex or whatnot when it comes time. If you are comfortable around that person, you will be more willing. A guy will just show you his attraction and if he does do something you don't like, just tell him to stop. Once trust/comfort is established; let yourself be taken by him. There is no worry if you: let yourself be open to new ideas, allow things to fall into place, and not overthink whats happening at that moment when he is about to touch you. Breathe, relax, and let the guy be in control. Feel the guys movement, touch, and sensuality when you let him touch you. You will learn to love a guys domination over you.
Also, sitting next to a guy and talking one-on-one usually is better, for you can be more sexually intimate. You can touch his arm, his leg, his thigh, his member. You can stare into his eyes, pull him in closer, and tell him all the things you texted him in person. It definately sounds like you have a very exciting sexual side that you can get out in the open, if you allow yourself to be yourself. Just once allow a guy to touch you the way he wants to. I'm sure you will not regret it and it will make the next time that much easier. You will not be a tease if you can control your hormones until you are with him and/or then put your words into action. Prove you can do what you say. Start small if you need to and build up to more foreplay/sexual interaction as you go. Oh, and if you want the guy to be all over you when you are together and things seem blah, you have to initiate the foreplay yourself! A guy won't always come to you and want to be intimate, but if he seems interested and you are interested: invite him over and let him know. When you are in the mood, tell him. Guys love a girl who seek out what they want and are open about what they want. Either way, I'm sure the guy will be happy to oblige to your desires
My bf is really controlling. He always has to know where I am, what I'm doing, who I'm with, and everything. He controls like everything. If I end up being like 10 minutes late from when he told me to call him (like if I go out shopping and was suppose to call him at noon, but I call him at like 12:10) then he gets all angry and yells and screams and tells me I'm a really, really bad gf. I know this isn't healthy but I LOVE HIM. When he isn't mad at me then we have a really good time together. Is there something I can do to make him not controling and better understanding? Do I HAVE to dump him, because all my friends say he's just abusive and it'll get worse but he's everything to me. Help, please! What do I do?
Hey there,
Try to let him know he is being mean, but by not telling him directly. If you tell him directly it sounds as if he will just react negatively. Mention that you like it when he is caring to you or when you go out for dates. If you tell him how much you love when he does the good things, that is what he will want to do more to impress you/be a better person. If he doesn't stop being mean over time, then you should let him go. Give him a chance first. You don't have to lose him because your friends say so. You know what is healthy for you, so if it gets to be too much, then you make the decision.
Try asking him to not do what bothers you. Such as if he yells, tell him you like it when he doesn't yell. Help him grow to enhance what you like about him. Remember to never call him out on his anger, make sure to tell him what you love about him, and see if he wants/tries to make it work. If he doesn't, he likely will never change. If you love him, you will help him work to be better. And if he truly loves you, he will change part of himself to make you happy too
There's this girl I hang out with a lot. We've known each other since we were little kids. We grew up together and we're both 15 now. For 4 years now I've fallen for her hard. I daydream of her all of the time. I dream of her at night. I can't get her out of my head. I love everything about her from the way she smiles to the smell of her hair when I'm close to her. I always seem to find myself making excuses to see her more often. I feel like I'm obsessed because my feelings for her are so strong I can't have a proper girlfriend (I always end up being distant to them, not really wanting to date them, and dumping them early on because of my lack of interest).
I've kept these feelings a secret but sometimes I think I should tell her. I'm afraid she won't feel the same though, and I'll end up ruining the friendship. I know I sound like such a wuss here but the emotions are so intense and I've kept them in so long.
What's the best thing to do in this particular situation? Should I tell her and risk everything? Should I keep this stuff bottled in?
Hey there,
You should tell her! But not all at once, for that may scare her away. Hint that you like her by sending her subtle clues.. Such as asking her to hang out, holding eye contact for moments longer than normal, touching her arm/leg/shoulder, smiling, or telling her she looks great. You have so many feelings you want to express and I know how hard it can be to express them to someone you care about.
No matter what, you should never keep your feelings bottled in. They will just grow on you and make you wonder even more. If you tell her, she will either take it as a very good thing or she will give you a sign that she only sees you as a friend. Thats the worse that can come out of sharing your feelings. There are more good things that can come of this than bad. She may feel the same way, she may want to get to know you better, and she may want to date you. You never know unless you give hints. It would stink to not let her know how you feel and then go on your whole life wondering if you could have been something together. You have to know a person well in order to be close to them. Ask her if she ever thought of being more than friends. Give her a chance and see where it takes you
Well it me sorry to keep bothering u seem and give good advice so i'm asking you aha lucky you.... Anyways so ijust signed up for softball and he is a big baseball player so I mean I didn't sign up just because of him I've liked it anyway so today at school I noticed I kept looking at him sometimes and usually I allways look around but in the one class our eyes just kept meeting each ofer I mean it's kinda hard not to look at dan if he's right across the room in front of your face kinda anyway do you really think there's hope he'll like me again? I just don't know what to do or say anymore and it's almost Christmas break which we probally won't see each other the whole time I know this whole question is kinda pointless but to me I'm just kind of desperate at the moment what should I do first text him or actually approach him oh and btw he didn't tell me personally that he liked me during summer it e told everyone else in the group thing we were in I even saw the text that said he does like me anyways but ten my friend asked him again beging of school and he said no..... Anyway what could I do or should I do first I'm kinda the girl who's a little awkward with convos and I'm just bad at carrying it on please help yet again
Hey,
Thats alright (sorry I only replied now). Feel free to ask me for all the advice you want :p So, there is always hope that a guy will like you again.. unless he is completely ignoring you, which doesn't seem to be the case here. Approaching him would catch his attention way more than just texting him would. Just say 'hi' or 'hows your day going' or 'what are you doing during christmas break?'. Anything to start a convo. A conversation will flow if you say things he can relate to or that you find interesting about his response. Don't be afraid to smile at him or nod him over to where you are sitting. Be brave. Act like you've known him your whole life and talk about something interesting (anything!). If he likes what you are saying, I'm sure you will get the reaction/response you want. Then go from there!
So, my boyfriend and I broke up 4 days ago, and I spoke to him 2 nights ago just to see how he was doing and just asked him a couple of questions why. I'll just get straight to the point here, one of the reasons was because we were two completely different people, I explained to him that didn't even make sense at all. The rest of the reasons lead up to one explanation, he didn't talk to me about it. So basically we both know what we have to work on. Before the conversation ended, I was planning just to hug him bye and leave. That hug was longer than I thought, it was standing outside in the parking lot in the cold for 10 minutes long. And we kissed... Well, I mean we were together for a while and we've been through a lot together. In the beginning of the conversation he told me he didn't love me as much as better, and he's not sure if he was going to regret breaking up with me or not... Although he was pretty positive he would regret it.
The end of the conversation, he said that he was starting to regret it. He said he was gaining his feelings back, but he thinks the reasons why we broke up will happen again. But I explained to him he only had to talk to me about it, and he said, "yeah... If I tried it again, and I spoke to you about it.. I'd probably be like, "hey.. this is a lot better than before."
Since that day, he's been texting me. He told me he didn't want us to have any physical contact, I can't say I miss or love you, I have to call him by his real name, etc. And last night, he told me he couldn't help but say, "I still love you and miss you, honey." The words I could just cry for.
He said he still had something to tell me, but it all depends on how I feel about him when he tells me. Same thing for me, I also have some things to tell him... Depending on how he feels towards me.
Although he told me he's going to drag me on forever because I was his first everything.
I'm not sure if we're on the same page or not, I'm not sure if he's waiting... But I still want to be with him, but are we on the different page?
What does he want to say??
Hey there,
By what you said, I cannot tell if you are on different pages. It sounds like you both want the same thing, but are having trouble communicating it. It sounds as if he wants to know you are still having feelings for him and that he wants to tell you to give him another chance. He just doesn't know how. Tell him you still like him and that anything he wants, you two can work towards. This will let him know you want to make the relationship work. I believe he really loves you, he just wants to be sure you do too. If you tell him you love him, he sounds like he will take it with open arms. Just know, you will have things to work on. Make it work girl. He sounds like a very sweet guy
Ok so long story this guy dan me and him spent so much time together during the summer we never stopped texting unless I usually fell asleep aha but anyway just randomly he stoped texting and school started btw I'm a freshman and he's a sophmore. I found out he use to likeme so made me like him even more and I've been trying to move on but I can't like I've realized I like him way to much to just move on to a random dude and I'm the type of girl who doesn't really get all the guys... Well dan is in 2 of my classes but it's justkinda awkward between us and he sometimes flirts with this one girl it makes my heart drop and I get so upset in school:( look aha the point is I can't get over him and before classes change like the end of January I need to get him back bc I dot want to lose him anymore than I already did plz help me little baby steps day by day Im willing to do anything I've tried some stuff but it's still awkward help me get me back into his mind bc I can't stop thinking about him!
Hey there,
You are not pathetic because you want a guy back. You just realized that you have more feelings than you thought about him. It takes a break up to see that sometimes. The first thing I would do is see why he just stopped texting you. I don't know why he would tell you he likes you and then not talk to you..? Maybe he wants you to say something (which is what you must be trying to do).
I wouldn't move on to a random dude either and I am not a girl who dates a lot of guys. Dan probably see his "flirting" as a harmless act in class. A guy will see what we see as "flirting" to be "just talking" to another girl. He obviously doesn't realize that you have strong feelings for him or he wouldn't do this knowing it bugs you. So what he is doing, he isn't doing intentionally. To get him back, you have to let him know that you like him as more than a friend. This would mean you have to find time to spend with him. Once you have time alone with him, talk to him. Let him know how you feel and say it would mean alot if he would be willing to make you two something more.
Ultimately, the more time you spend with him and the more you are just being yourself around him, the more he will remember the old you and want to talk more. If you are open, he is likely to open up as well. He already said he liked you, so tell him how much you enjoyed texting in the summer and let him know you are there for him if he needs. Spend time with him (movies, grabbing drinks, walking, studying), talk one on one (about anything and everything), and see if he would like to go further with you (in time). To get back in his mind, you have to get back into his life first
Are you able to e-mail me at skittle4992yahoo.com? i need to talk to someone. I don't have very long, im not hungry though it is my lunch time. please?
Sorry I didn't reply yesterday. So hey, I tried e-mailing you, but it keeps saying "delivery status failure". I'm confused why it won't send to your address..?
i'm 18 and still a virgin. i'm definetly not ashamed of it, actually i'm kinda proud. its not like i'm ugly, actually alot of people are surprised or don't believe me that i'm still a virgin i just refuse to give my virginity to someone who doesn't deserve it and i haven't met anyone worth giving it to yet (i know i'm old fashioned but whatever). i've had a few boyfriends and definetly many opportunities but i just didn't want to. but i feel like everyone my age and even a little younger has had sex. when i hang out with certain friends thats all they talk about. i mean somethings i can contribute because i've done everything else except actual intercourse. but i just feel like i'm alone. is there anyone out there my age virgins?
Hey,
I am 18 and I am proud of being a virgin. I would never give my virginity to any guy who isn't my everything. He has to be the person who understands me, loves me for me, makes me feel good about myself, who I can relate to on every level, who makes me laugh, who warms my heart, and who would plan on holding me in his arms every night for the rest of our lives. If a guy doesn't feel this way and doesn't make me feel this way everyday... he isn't allowed my virginity.
This is definately a morale thing for me. Not just anyone deserves this. It will go to the guy who appreciates me. The guy who gives me the sweet kisses that send butterflies throughout my body. I'm positive I will know this guy when I meet him. Until then, I am content
...because I've never dated anyone before. I'm now in college, and I never thought about dating anyone before. I never got interested because it seemed like too much to deal with, and because I never found anyone interesting enough to date. I also didn't think I was "girl friend material." I didn't think I would attract anyone because of incidents that happened in middle school [girls competing for who was the most attractive, even tho I never volunteered someone would always have an opinion anyway]... So I get I had, and still have, low self-esteem.
But before I started college, I met someone that changed this. He said he was interested in me as well. However, because of my insecurities, I told him I didn't want to start anything. This was around the time on of his ex-girlfriends was begging him to give her a second chance. I had just met him and didn't think I was good enough [and certainly did not want to compete with an ex of his] I told him he should give her a second chance. At this point we didn't know our feelings for each other, it was only after he broke up with her that we confessed our feelings to each other.
While he was with his ex, I met another guy. I fell head-over-heels in love with him, and he said he felt the same way towards me. We had busy schedules, so we always planned out our days together so we could have time to be together. Whenever I was sad, he knew how to make me happy. He would even make me happy without trying. Being with him made me want to become a better person. I started sleeping early, doing my work on time, and so on, and he was just perfect the way he was. He would sleep on time, was dedicated to his job, which he found to be completely boring, he was great in school, smart, shared the same sense of humor as me, he was just wonderful. But later he moved to help out his mother, and things became long distant. He said he loved me, but he didn't want to make things difficult for me either. He thought it was best to just be friends. But this was hard on the both of us, and one day he disappeared out of my life completely. He would always tell me how things might be better for the both of us if we stopped contact... "out of sight, out of mind." For all of 2010, he has been in and out of my life, mostly out of my life.
When I was a girl, I told myself I would never be one of those girls who would get depressed over a guy. I was too strong for this. But that winter, I would lock myself up in my room for hours. I would only come out to eat, shower, and school, but I felt like a ghost, like i had no purpose. I told myself, as a girl, that I would never define my life over a guy, and yet I was doing the exact opposite as a college student. And even though I tried my best in school and for this not to effect me, my grades went downhill that quarter [1 GPA]. Today, it's finally back up to a 3 GPA... it took a lot out of me to do this... but a part of me also did it because I thought about how it might make him disappointed in me if he ever found out what I had done after he left me.
I know it's silly to think that way, but in the end, it was his image that motivated me to do my best.
While all this drama was happening, the first guy I mentioned dated a girl who later became my friend. He dated her while he still had feelings for me, and I could see the break up that was soon to follow and how things were going to be ugly. I won't go into details, but she told me that throughout their relationship, he would always talk and think about me. She thought she was going to be able to change him, which is why she kept dating him [she thought he was "the one" for her].
After they broke up, she refuses to talk to him, even when she discovered that she was pregnant. She miscarried, but throughout my time of being friends with her, she would lie to me and only tell me the truth when she found no other way out. Her actions have shown me that this guy was not as bad as she was trying to make him out to be... it was just her way of resurring that I would not date him.
For the longest time I have declined to dating him... but as months passed, everyone has told me to give him a chance, even after what had happened with the other girl. I finally gave in...
Things were good... but recently Ive noticed that I wasn't very happy. I've subconsciously been comparing him to the guy who suddenly left me. Realizing this was unfair, I told him tonight about what I have been doing, and how some of the things he does makes me unhappy.
I want to give him a chance, but how can I do this when I haven't completely forgotten about the other guy I fell in love with?
I also think this relationship is wrong because I've been hiding it from his ex [tho a lot of people tell me its ok since she hid her relationship and other things from me... however, i dont think 2 wrongs makes it right].
Tonight, I have a heart ache.
I miss both these guys... Is it possible to love two men at once? How can i get over the other guy, or should i wait for his return? Should I even continue the relationship i currently have? Or should i give up on both of them completely?
I've had so many questions the past 2 years... and the people I know have not been helpful. I don't know what to do anymore... I'm tired of crying over these two. There have been so many times Ive wished to return to being the girl who didn't care about love. Life was much more simpler then... Now not only am I sad about not being able to find someone, whenever I do, I always compare him to the guy who left me. Why do I care so much over him? He was careless with me, even thought his intentions were meant to do good.
I just want to know if I did good, or if I had done anything wrong.... and I want to know what I can do now. I don't want to keep living like this anymore.
Hey,
By the sounds of all your writing here, you know quite a bit about relationships. Sure you are at a point where you don't know what to do, but you have learned alot by having all these expiriences.
The guy whom you fell head over heels for sounds like a guy who is everything and is doing everything he can to make you happy. These kind of guys are rare. See if you can work things out with him. Long distance relationships can be successful if you both put in the effort. A lot of girls think that they won't ever get choked up because of a guy, but they always do. You just have to find that guy that makes you smile, laugh, and who takes a place in your heart.. then you know exactly what it is like. Expecially to miss someone and want to be with them.
The guy who you declined, does not sound bad, just misunderstood. To give him a chance, you must be open with him, let him know you have these feelings, and if he doesn't think he can help you get through them, he isn't the guy for you. Tell him that as much as you want to give him a chance, you are still coping with the past. He should understand if he really does like/care for you. It is wrong to think you should hide a relationship, because his ex did before. Two wrongs do not make a right; you are correct. It would only cause more heartache and get you nowhere closer to the guy you want to be with.
And it is definately possible to love two men at once. That is one reason why there are people cheating on eachother in our world everyday. If you want to get over the other guy, you can. But, if he says he wants to make it work and you do too, I would give him a great chance. He sounds amazing for you. It is ultimately up to you to decide if you want to keep the realationship you are in. If you don't feel the same way for this guy as you do for the one who is away, then don't stick with him. He would then be considered a hold-over for the guy you really want to be with.
Do not give up on both of them. Know the guy who treats you with care and respect. Who holds you tightly, is there for you, gives you sweet kisses, makes your heart glow, puts a smile on your face, supports you and allows you to be yourself. You know who he is. When this guy is around, your heart will tell you yes! so many times over that you are completely in love. It is not easy to get out of love once you are in it, it just becomes more complicated then better. I believe you are still attached to the guy who was careless, for he was there first. Your heart will always remember the first. You have done nothing wrong. Life takes its curves and you just have to follow sometimes. Be with the person who makes your heart melt with joy. It is a sure sign of the better things to come
There's this guy I really like & he sits by me in 5th period. He's quiet & i'm not. He knows & all his friends know too. Any advice? plus I'm 12.
Hi,
Talk to him, find a common interest, then see if he would like to hang out sometime. If he does like you, there will be signs of: staring/looking at you a lot, shivering hands, smiling alot, touching his face, putting his hands in his pockets, sometimes not being able to talk is a sign and him wanting to be near you (maybe he purposely sat there?). He might be a shy guy, so talk to him (say Hi) and see how you two relate
I am with my boyfriend for very very long time, and we try to have a baby, but i do not get Pregnant, i was by the Dr, and my boyfriend too. they say everything is ok to keep trying, it would happen. 7 months we try and try and nothing happen. what can we do?
Hi,
You can: make sure he cums inside of you during sex and most importantly: get a second opinion! (Doctors rarely find a problem the first time they check (if there is one) and sometimes even the third time). Otherwise.. just do what this doctor told you: keep trying. Usually when two people cannot have a baby, it has something to do with their genes. Maybe your genes when mixed cannot make a baby or there is a problem with your/his genes. This is just a thought.
It only takes one sperm to become pregnant... so Get a second opinion and Keep trying! Use different positions and try new things to keep the sex interesting for the both of you in the process. In time, you will have a baby
ok, so we just moved into a house with a salt water pool. I have bleach white hair (which has taken me over a year to achieve). I have been swimming a couple of times with no problems and my hair stayed white, however i hopped out of the pool and now my white hair is BRIGHT GREEN. Im really upset and distraught because i loved my white hair and it took alot to get it white. So anyway i have toned my hair 3 times in the shower already and its still bright green. what do i do? x
Hi,
I am sorry that this happened to you... I can only imagine! :( BUT, there is good news!! :D To fix your hair: You can put several aspirins or 1/4 c. baking soda to some water and then pour on your hair before shampooing, leave in your hair for a few minutes, then wash and condition your hair as normal. OR wash and rinse your hair, then pour this baking soda solution on your hair, leave for a few minutes, then wash and condition your hair. OR wash and rinse your hair, use this solution AS a rinse, then conditioner it.
Another way of getting your hair back to normal, is to find a shampoo that contains ethylenediamene tetracetic acid (EDTA). It is a substance that is specially formulated for swimmers to prevent hair coloration from happening. If you have a shampoo that doesn't have this, it will NOT get rid of the green. Just look for EDTA written in the ingredient list on the bottle and shampoo your hair with it until until the color comes out. I have searched on the net and found that: Pantene Shampoos and Herbal Essences Shampoos contain this ingredient. So if you aren't already using that kind, they shouldn't be too hard to find (your everyday shampoo/conditioner aisle). I hope this works for you! Please let me know if it does :)
Here is the website that can help you more if you need: http://www.essortment.com/lifestyle/greenhairblond_saig.htm
I have a severe physical condition that causes my joints to dislocate very frequently (between 5 and 50 times a day depending on the joint). This causes me a hell of a lot of pain, as you can imagine. I was on morphine for 2 years to deal with the pain but with pain management therapy I learnt to deal with it. I also have severe depression that's worse in Autumn and Winter, as is the pain. Back in March, I started to make myself sick to lose weight. I know I wasn't (am not) fat but I love the control over my weight. I can't control my joints but I can control that scale dropping a point.
I know it's stupid, I know it's not going to help, I know I'm making myself unhealthy but I really can't seem to care. I'm concerned that this is the way I've learnt to deal with my pain, by not caring about my body and I'm scared that I won't be able to get better because I don't know how to learn to care about my body again, and if I do, I won't be able to cope with the pain.
I'm seeing a psychotherapist, I'm having mental health workers come to my house every few days, I'm taking my antidepressants, I'm trying to keep myself busy to stop myself dwelling on things. I'm trying not to make myself sick.
I just really can't see any possibility of me getting better seeing as I've got all the help available to me and it's not working, and even if I get better this time, I'm only going to get ill again next Autumn. I'm really really struggling to see the point in bothering any more.
I've been suicidal before and it's never really had a reason or thought process behind it. Now I have a thought process that says "I don't think the plus sides of being alive (friends, hobbies) outweigh the negatives (pain, depression) and while I know my family would be upset if I killed myself, I think they would understand"
Please tell me why that's not right.
Hi,
It would not be right to kill yourself for you think your family would understand, because: even if they would understand, that would not prevent them from being in their worse pain for years to come. That's more pain than what you are feeling right now.
Just think: Every time your name comes up they will be in pain. Every time they look at a picture of you they will feel pain. Every time they look at themselves in the mirror, glance into a photo album, try to speak, look into the sky, spend time with someone, stare into space... That's every time someone asks about your parents daughter: "where is she now?", "Why would she do that?", "Oh... I am so sorry", they will feel pain. Its a pain that burns deep into their chest. A pain that makes a hole in their soul, tears apart their lives, makes them cry every night, wish that they were better parents, pray that it never happened, and have their heart stabbed a thousand times over.
They will hold eachother tightly, try to live but won't be able to and always think of what they could have done to prevent it. If you listened closely, they would sob tears of grief in thier sleep. Nothing would be able to make them feel better. They would say 'you don't know what its like' and 'it was all our fault' no matter what people would tell them. There wouldn't be a little light at the end of any tunnel. Your Moms life, your Dads life, your fiances life, your brothers lives and any of your friends lives: would never be the same. Remember this
i'm 18 female and my parents and boyfriend and best friend are all talking to me about the future. At first it was ok but now i feel like its gotten way out of hand and i feel like i'm about to lose it!
my parents are talking to me about college (which is fine because i already know what college i'm going to) but then they were talking about moving and studying abroad and studying international school and living there when i'm older like 2 or 3 years from now.
my boyfriend was talking to me about our future together. at first that was fine because i thought it was cute that he wanted to stay together when i was in college. but now he's talking about marriage and where we would live and kids etc. i'm freaking just a kid still!!! i feel like i'm so overwhelmed with him talking about the future and i haven't really given it a thought but it hurts my brain to think about the future
my best friend was talking to me about college (that was fine because we were discussing which colleges we were going to) but then she started talking about how when we are older we could travel together and get an apartment together and be roommates and do everything together. at first i was fine with it because she is my best friend and we are like sisters and i can't imagine life without her.. but now its just weird how we are basically planning our future..
i dont know if i'm overreacting but i just feel so overwhelmed with everything. i do have a lot of stress in my life, so that could be a factor. but i just feel so stressed and anxiety and i wish i could scream at people! help what do i do?
Hi,
You should know that the present will help you get to the future. Without that, there is no future. Sure it is nice knowing what the future may hold, but I'm sure you also know that the future isn't that near and all these things floating in your mind are just ideas. Nobody ever knows what can happen tomorrow or where you will be in two years. All you should think about is the present and how you will work to get to where you would like to be in the future. It is alright to imagine. There is no set goals in life, until that point in time shows up. Live/deal with what you have in front of you now and then live in the moment you have in the future.
Tell your boyfriend and friend that they have great ideas, but you'll see. And take the time to try and imagine what they imagine, just for a moment; you may like the thought. Only time can tell what will happen. Enjoy the life you have, relax, and do the fun things you can while you can. You should live your lovely teenage life while its still here. Soak yourself in a hot bubblebath and know that even though these people have ideas to put in your brain, you are ultimately the one that controls them
Forgive me for being so naive when it comes to these sorts of things in advance. See, I was with the same guy for four years. We dated all throughout high school and broke up a few days after graduation. It was so incredibly difficult, but now that it's been a good seven months since we broke up, I'm ready to be in a relationship again. The thing is, I'm not 100% sure how this dating thing works anymore lol, so bare with me here. So, there is this guy that I met in my Geology class in August. I've liked him from the start really. He walked me to where I park my car every day we have class together. One day about 2 weeks ago, we were arguing flirtatiously about who was better at twister. So, we decided to hang out to find out who was better. So he came over and we played Twister and when we got close, he kissed me. The thing is, after we kissed for awhile, he told me that he had to go bc his friend and him had plans. We haven't really hung out since. However, on the last day of our Geology class(Friday) he told me that if I wanted a rematch in Twister, to just let him know. So, I texted him when I got home about it and he said that he's been really busy with finals and such and that we would hang out soon. But I seem to be the only one who makes an effort. I always text him first and such. Soooo, should I continue to be the first one to text him? should I ask him when he wants to hang out even though hes busy? should I let him do the chasing? what should I do??? Do you think he's just in this for a good time or whats the deal? I'm so confused. Please help me!!
Hey,
Your question isn't that long :p Ok, so he sounds sweet right away with the 'he walked me to my car every day'. Then, with the whole Twister thing.. That idea right there was his way for him to be close to you. He definately likes you if he initiated being close and then kissed you too! :) Lucky girl. By him saying to you that 'if you wanted a rematch in Twister, to just let him know' sounds like a flirt. He was probably really asking you if you would like another kiss! (or at least to get close again) :p You never know.
If he says he is busy with Finals, then he likely is. My guy tends to be busy with Finals alot and as long as I listen, he makes time for me. The way your guy acts around you makes him seem like the kind of guy that wouldn't just get close to someone and then not give any effort. I think you should keep texting him first every now and then. If you always do it all the time, he won't ever think of texting you first and then you may think he is ignoring you. Yes, I would ask him if he wants to hang out even if he is busy. That shows him you are interested and you would really like to spend time with him, if he would like to spend time with you. It seems as if he isn't going to do much chasing at the moment since he is busy.. but later on feel free to let him chase a bit. Guys find that intriguing.
You should keep casually asking him if he would like to hang out and even ask him to schedule a day for the both of you to do that. If the guy picks the day, they are more likely to be there. He knows what his schedule is like. When you do text him, ask him how his finals went and reassure him that he probably did a good job. As long as you support him, he will likely try to be there for you. I don't think he is in this just for a good time. I think he is a busy guy. Keep trying to plan days with him and encourage what he does give you: Tell him you loved when you played Twister that first time or specifically when he kissed you. If you show you are interested, he should definately return the affection. Hold onto him tight, he seems like a great guy!
Hey. I'm a fifteen year old girl, sophomore. I've dated two guys. One for seven months and we did everything but sex (he is a junior, sixteen, we dated last year, reeeally messy break up though). Now I previously just broke up with a guy I dated for three months; just second base (he is a junior, seventeen, I just liked it better when we were friends). Part of why I didn't like him all that much is because I think he's not... Bad boy enough? See... A hookup I like to have the... Not druggie skater punk but more jock bad ass thing going on. Relationship wise I like a guy I can trust, who wont promise what he can't give, but still has that edge to keep me interested. That's just some background to my real question. Im really interested in getting to know this guy. He's the baddest ive been attracted to haha. He used to do pot and drink but he hasn't in like a year. (btw he's a junior:17) He's really cute and has gone to third base. I've had a few conversations but I barely know him. The thing is... We don't have exaaactly the same group of friends and I don't know how to get something started. It's not like I'm saying I wanna date him but I wanna get to know him and see what happens. I'm curious I guess. I could handle him I think seeing as he hasn't gone any farther than me but there's something about him that's soooo intimidating and I don't know what it is. I always choke up around him and act like a ditz! (oh i should probably mention as ive kind of saud before ive hooked up with about four guys before, all bad, worse than this guy, but didn't go past making out with any) His cousin/friend is one of my close friends and is dating my bff. But it would be wierd if I was suddenly like "let's hang out with ...!" so I wanna make it come as naturally as possible. I know there's potential cause he's been flirty and smiles a lot. So I guess my main question is: how can I get over this intimidation and start something naturally with him?? If I've always been with bad boys why does he feel so different??
Hey there,
No, I can completely see where you are coming from :p No worries there. I can tell that you do want to be with someone who cares, but you like a guy who is going to give you thrills and excitement: badass guys will definately do that! So, if you want to get something started, it sounds as if you have to initiate it. Next time you see him: lean in closer, hold eye contact for even a few seconds longer than usual, touch his arm or leg if you are close enough, or just ask him for his number. Make sure to smile and say hi!
I think the reason why you are intimidated is because you are really attracted to him. Its normal to feel that way and if you spend some more time around him and just be yourself without trying to worry about coming out wrong, than he will like you for who you are. He is just a guy. I know, you are probably thinking "not just any guy!" but you can handle him! When he is around, let him know he is hot. Don't tell him directly, but come up behind him and hug his waist or lean on his shoulders. This is kind of bold, but it will let him know you are interested. Whisper in his ear. Besides, he already flirts back! He obviously sees you as potential :)
Bad boys will always keep you guessing and make you feel curious. Just cuz this guy is different, doesn't mean he should be any harder to catch. Slowly work yourself up into talking to him, let him know you are interested, and make a move girl! I'm sure he will be totally open to the idea. Just take a breath and go for it!
16/f
i like this guy who has this girlfriend. hes not happy in the relationsip. i wouldnt try anythig with him until he is out of the relationsip. but i like to listen to music when im sad.
so what are songs where you want someone to want you back?
i already know of i want you to want me - cheaptrick
you belong with me - taylor swift
anymore?
also if you could help with my situation that would be good too. so a little more into detail, i like this guy and he keeps looking at me and smiling, so we became friends and we talk a lot. we talk about his relationship with his gf and they dont seem happy. they havent kissed and have been going out for 2 months and he seems like he wants something new. I really like him and I want him to want me. Like I said before, I wouldnt let him cheat of his gf, but how can I have him for myself?
Hey,
It sounds as if you are a very sincere person. You realize that he is hurting and even though you really like him, you know not to push your way into his life. As for his relationship with this girl: so what if they havn't kissed? I went out with my boyfriend for two months before we kissed. That doesn't mean there isn't a connection. But, if he says he is unhappy and he shows it.. he deserves better. Tell him you really care for him and you only want whats best for him. Tell him he deserves someone who will be there for him, appreciate him, and love him for who he is. It may sound sappy, but if he knows you care and that there is someone better waiting, he will be more likely to get rid of what is holding him back (this girl) and find that something better. (He may not realize it is you at first)
If you can support him, do things with him, and listen to his problems; he will be more drawn to you. Everyone needs someone to lean on. By being his support now and if he decides to split with her, he will be comfortable around you; bringing you two closer. Once he realizes how great you are just by being there for him, he will surely come to you
17/f
I'm just curious. I want to know why do people have sex with others if they already have someone that they like? Sometimes in a relationship, but mainly just that I have someone they like in general. Why do people have sex with others other than the person they like?
Hi,
There could be many reasons why someone would have sex with another person even if they are already in a relationship. Reasons could be: they want to have sex with someone new, they were drunk, they aren't happy with the sex they get with the person they are with (and haven't told them), they are a cheater, they want to complicate the relationship, they may have fell in love with another person when they were still in a relationship, they do it out of spite, or maybe they have done it because both partners have agreed to see other people and possibly sleep with them as well. It does happen. Whatever the reason, I believe you should be faithful to one person: the person you have devoted yourself to. If you do have sex with other people, think of how it affects you/will affect you and the person you are supposed to be with. Everyone will have their own personal reasons for doing this... whatever the reason, there probably shouldn't be one