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I have a controling boyfriend but I love him. What do I do?
My bf is really controlling. He always has to know where I am, what I'm doing, who I'm with, and everything. He controls like everything. If I end up being like 10 minutes late from when he told me to call him (like if I go out shopping and was suppose to call him at noon, but I call him at like 12:10) then he gets all angry and yells and screams and tells me I'm a really, really bad gf. I know this isn't healthy but I LOVE HIM. When he isn't mad at me then we have a really good time together. Is there something I can do to make him not controling and better understanding? Do I HAVE to dump him, because all my friends say he's just abusive and it'll get worse but he's everything to me. Help, please! What do I do?
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yes its all the warning signs of what to come (which will most likely be violent) truth is deep down you probably dont love him, how could if he treats you this way? your probably addicted to the drama and thrill of it all, that doesnt mean your a bad person, who wouldnt want a lover to be "madly in love" with them, but then time will tell you, and to be honest i dont think you will dump him, it is very hard after all, you need a wake up call but dont let it be violence! it should never go that far, sounds like you have some good friends there for you though, dont ever let him take that from you, but you should end it with him sooner rather than later. He's not everything to you he's making himself everything to you!
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The sad truth about it all is yes you should dump him. This sort of behavior will not end, as this abusive behavior is a part of him. It will be hard- all breakups are however it will be in your best interest to leave him and move on with your life.
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Try to understand the young mind of the Human male. They love adventure, don't like to be told what to do, and they want the freedom to do what they want when they want to do it. And no matter what you say it will not change his mind on what he really wants to do.
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If you feel that your boyfriend is controlling and this makes you uncomfortable, then you are not in a good relationship. I believe that it's a bit disturbing that he gets angry at you for just wanting your personal space. He shouldn't get mad. You don't have to be with him ALL the time. He should know that you love him and that you aren't going to do anything to hurt your relationship. If you must, tell him this. It seems he needs a little reassurance. He needs to trust to you, if he really wants to love you. He's the one that has to change his ways. So if he prefers not to change for you, then just listen to your friends becuase they are right. After all, your friends are more likely to be there for you til the very end.
Take Care and I hope my advice helps you in some way.
Oh! and watch out...don't let this situation get out of hand. Don't let him control your life.
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Awwwww he's just crazy about you. Don't think he's just too controlling. But in your case, I would tell him what I'm doing, who I'm with. And where I am. So he knows and can trust you better. He's just worried about losing you. I know it may get annoying at times. But you have to tell him or give him a heads up on what your day is. He will feel closer to you and he won't ask you questions like What are you doing? Why can't you answer me? And all of that. Be completely honest with him. And don't lie to him or he will find out. If it gets to out of hand and you did everything I told you to do...then your best chance would be to find a new boyfriend. But this guy seems to really care about you. Make sure your giving him the time of day and showing that you care about him too!
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There are many things you can do to make him "not controlling".. considering you "LOVE" for him... you can go and have NO life, NO joys, and NO interests, that he doesn't approve of. Of course this isn't my suggestion but if he's THAT important to you.. then following his pre-designed "requests"... should be a cakewalk.
Besides, if "ALL" of YOUR friends can't stand him, they all don't have the same motives for feeling that way...
My concern is if you actually:
love him,
scared of what he may do/feel if you "left" him, insecure of being alone, or insecure of whom he'll choose to be with afterwards?...
I'm not sure how old ya'll are but...
There are many things in life to be concerned about... what makes your list.. is on you.
Best Wishes
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Hey there,
Try to let him know he is being mean, but by not telling him directly. If you tell him directly it sounds as if he will just react negatively. Mention that you like it when he is caring to you or when you go out for dates. If you tell him how much you love when he does the good things, that is what he will want to do more to impress you/be a better person. If he doesn't stop being mean over time, then you should let him go. Give him a chance first. You don't have to lose him because your friends say so. You know what is healthy for you, so if it gets to be too much, then you make the decision.
Try asking him to not do what bothers you. Such as if he yells, tell him you like it when he doesn't yell. Help him grow to enhance what you like about him. Remember to never call him out on his anger, make sure to tell him what you love about him, and see if he wants/tries to make it work. If he doesn't, he likely will never change. If you love him, you will help him work to be better. And if he truly loves you, he will change part of himself to make you happy too <3
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This boy seems to have a little bit of a trust issue. I also agree with your friends. I think it can only get worse... So, for your well-being I would probably get away because you can find another boy that "you can have a good time with".. Get away before you're in too deep.
Good luck!
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