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There's something more intimidating about this guy and I don't know why!
Hey. I'm a fifteen year old girl, sophomore. I've dated two guys. One for seven months and we did everything but sex (he is a junior, sixteen, we dated last year, reeeally messy break up though). Now I previously just broke up with a guy I dated for three months; just second base (he is a junior, seventeen, I just liked it better when we were friends). Part of why I didn't like him all that much is because I think he's not... Bad boy enough? See... A hookup I like to have the... Not druggie skater punk but more jock bad ass thing going on. Relationship wise I like a guy I can trust, who wont promise what he can't give, but still has that edge to keep me interested. That's just some background to my real question. Im really interested in getting to know this guy. He's the baddest ive been attracted to haha. He used to do pot and drink but he hasn't in like a year. (btw he's a junior:17) He's really cute and has gone to third base. I've had a few conversations but I barely know him. The thing is... We don't have exaaactly the same group of friends and I don't know how to get something started. It's not like I'm saying I wanna date him but I wanna get to know him and see what happens. I'm curious I guess. I could handle him I think seeing as he hasn't gone any farther than me but there's something about him that's soooo intimidating and I don't know what it is. I always choke up around him and act like a ditz! (oh i should probably mention as ive kind of saud before ive hooked up with about four guys before, all bad, worse than this guy, but didn't go past making out with any) His cousin/friend is one of my close friends and is dating my bff. But it would be wierd if I was suddenly like "let's hang out with ...!" so I wanna make it come as naturally as possible. I know there's potential cause he's been flirty and smiles a lot. So I guess my main question is: how can I get over this intimidation and start something naturally with him?? If I've always been with bad boys why does he feel so different??
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
well if his friend/cousin knows you.. try to get to know his cousin/friend more. talk to your bff about the situation. i'm sure she will be glad to help you out. ask your bff if she can talk to him and see if you can double date? her, her bf, you, and that one guy. it doesn't have to be a double date either.. it could just be hanging out or a party or something.
as for the intimidation, i think you'll get used to it once you get to know him. i've never experienced being intimidated by a guy before, but just know that he's not so macho.. he's a dude. what is he gonna do? bite you? in my eyes, i dont see guys as intimidating.. girls are the same as guys. guys are the same as girls. we are all human. what makes him any different?? i mean he could be a potential threat like he could rape you or hurt you.. so that could be intimidating (which is why you should be careful and get to know him first) its OK if you're a little intimadated at first because you don't know who he is but i'm sure once you get to know him more, then it will go away.
find ways to talk to him. during school, through his cousin, in the hallways, outside of school. start off casually like- did you get the homework? or..i heard the test was hard, do you want to get together and study? or we should make a study group? then move on to bigger things like- i'm so hungry do you want to get pizza?
also, find things that you 2 have in common. you both know his cousin/friend. talk about him. casually just say- oh you know (cousin name)?? so do i! he's amazing!
just be friendly, flirty, smile, nice, compliment him, notice the small things (like if he is right handed or left handed, if he wears the same necklace, if he changes shoes, if he always sits in the same desk etc. that shows that you pay attention to him (make sure its not creepy though haha)) show him you care and are interested. fate will take care of the rest.
inbox me if you have more questions.
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Hey there,
No, I can completely see where you are coming from :p No worries there. I can tell that you do want to be with someone who cares, but you like a guy who is going to give you thrills and excitement: badass guys will definately do that! So, if you want to get something started, it sounds as if you have to initiate it. Next time you see him: lean in closer, hold eye contact for even a few seconds longer than usual, touch his arm or leg if you are close enough, or just ask him for his number. Make sure to smile and say hi!
I think the reason why you are intimidated is because you are really attracted to him. Its normal to feel that way and if you spend some more time around him and just be yourself without trying to worry about coming out wrong, than he will like you for who you are. He is just a guy. I know, you are probably thinking "not just any guy!" but you can handle him! When he is around, let him know he is hot. Don't tell him directly, but come up behind him and hug his waist or lean on his shoulders. This is kind of bold, but it will let him know you are interested. Whisper in his ear. Besides, he already flirts back! He obviously sees you as potential :)
Bad boys will always keep you guessing and make you feel curious. Just cuz this guy is different, doesn't mean he should be any harder to catch. Slowly work yourself up into talking to him, let him know you are interested, and make a move girl! I'm sure he will be totally open to the idea. Just take a breath and go for it!
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