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I'm a tease, I need to fix it.
20 Female.
So this always happens and I feel SO bad. I start talking to a guy and then we basically talk dirty to each other over text or whatever, and I get really horny like I want them there with me right then. But then when it comes time to do something -anything, I just can't. I feel uncomfortable. This is how I always am at first and then the guys think I'm a tease like you just said you wanted to do this or that and now you're saying no and telling me to stop? I am an attractive girl, guys are always like "your so sexy, I'm sorry i just can't keep my hands off of you" and I'm confident with how I look so I don't know what the problem is. It's like I really wanna be sexual with someone, but then when it comes time to actually doing something ..I back off. I don't want to be considered a tease but my hormones always get the best of me during texting and then it just goes away when I am actually with them and they're trying to get with me.
What should I do? It's not that I don't want to, for some reason it's like I'm not allowing myself to. And then it's like if they're not all over me when we're together then I really want it. It's so weird!
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Hey there,
It is definately way easier to talk/flirt/communicate with someone over text. Being in person can make it more nerve-wrecking and you tend to be more cautious of what you say, since it is face to face interaction. I know what you mean about saying things and then backing off when someone wants to put those words you used into action. You just have to relax and tell yourself to just let it be. If someone says you are sexy and can't take their hands off of you, they are obviously attracted and you should try to let them be closer to you. Besides, putting their hands on you is nothing big and it is sure to be a turn-on for both of you in the end.
It may be a trust thing too. You should be able to trust the person you want to be sexual with; therefore giving you comfort so you are not worried about having sex or whatnot when it comes time. If you are comfortable around that person, you will be more willing. A guy will just show you his attraction and if he does do something you don't like, just tell him to stop. Once trust/comfort is established; let yourself be taken by him. There is no worry if you: let yourself be open to new ideas, allow things to fall into place, and not overthink whats happening at that moment when he is about to touch you. Breathe, relax, and let the guy be in control. Feel the guys movement, touch, and sensuality when you let him touch you. You will learn to love a guys domination over you.
Also, sitting next to a guy and talking one-on-one usually is better, for you can be more sexually intimate. You can touch his arm, his leg, his thigh, his member. You can stare into his eyes, pull him in closer, and tell him all the things you texted him in person. It definately sounds like you have a very exciting sexual side that you can get out in the open, if you allow yourself to be yourself. Just once allow a guy to touch you the way he wants to. I'm sure you will not regret it and it will make the next time that much easier. You will not be a tease if you can control your hormones until you are with him and/or then put your words into action. Prove you can do what you say. Start small if you need to and build up to more foreplay/sexual interaction as you go. Oh, and if you want the guy to be all over you when you are together and things seem blah, you have to initiate the foreplay yourself! A guy won't always come to you and want to be intimate, but if he seems interested and you are interested: invite him over and let him know. When you are in the mood, tell him. Guys love a girl who seek out what they want and are open about what they want. Either way, I'm sure the guy will be happy to oblige to your desires <3
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