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cant commit to a relationship....
I am a 23 yr old divorced female. I have always been one to be in committed relationships. And now I find myself unable to commit to a man. I tell myself I want a relationship. But the reality of it is I don't.
I lost my father in january 2010 and a few weeks after that my relationship with my boyfriend ended. I loved him with all my heart and still do to this day.
Since then, I have not been the same person. I don't know who I am any more. I hate to admit this but I've become a bit, how do I put it, permiscuous. I find myself not wanting to be with one man. I find myself just havin partners. This isn't me. And I don't know how to change it. I don't know how to get back to the old me. I don't recognize the person I have become. And I sure don't like it either.
Any input would be helpful. I don't know what's going on with me. So any advice or views would be helpful. Thanks.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You don't want a relationship, but you ARE looking for comfort and love. That search is getting twisted into promiscuity, but the reality is, you're searching for comfort. If counseling is an option for you, seek it out. Either professionally, or through your church/religious organization or the local community center. If not, try to find comfort in friends and family. When you feel the urge to "hook up" randomly, turn to your trusted friends, family member. Go out to eat or see a movie or just hang out. Or go to a church service or some other uplifting event. The point is you need to start finding alternative ways to satisfy your need for comfort. You're not crazy, but you need help. Your dad dying triggered a lot of emotions in you that were probably long buried. And now your mind and heart are struggling to cope with that. You're acting out, but you don't have to. But you do need to reach out for help. this is a start, but now you need to find others around you that you trust to help you further. Good luck.
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Hey,
I believe you are unable to commit to a relationship, for you have gone through loss and don't want to end up feeling that way again. You lost both your Dad and your boyfriend around the same time which is a lot to deal with. I'm sorry. You don't feel the same because you aren't the same. It sounds like you feel the need to be with someone and then once in the relationship think "what am I doing?". What you have to do is ask yourself: do I really want to be with this person? Is this person treating me the way I need them to? And am I happy with this person? If you answer no, then you should know that you need to move on to someone new. There is a man out there who will treat you lovingly, if you let yourself skip over these "holders" for the man who you really want to be with. You said you know you have changed; you should also know what you really want in a guy and only search for/be with that person. If you hold onto these fillers for a long time, it will only drag you down slowly. Be with a man who treats you with respect. If you allow men like this into your life, you should find yourself again... for he will bring out the best in you <3
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