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How do I cut this guy off that is not good for me?
I have been seeing this guy for 2.5 years, we both came out of a bad breakup and neither of us were looking for a relationship at the time. As time past I fell in love with him, he was in financial debt so I lent him money that he promised he would pay back, took out a loan as he told me he was selling a property and would have the money to pay me back which he lost and now in shortfall.
I believed what he was saying, he manipulated me into paying his bills etc as well and promised he would pay me back but never did. I had to ask to contribute to the loan otherwise he would not have paid me anything. Total is around $18,000.
In April this year he went from single to a relationship on his facebook and said he had to do that so girls would not go after him. During that time he told me that, a girl was hassling him and he owed her money, so asked me to call her for her bank account details. After I spoke with her she told me she was in love with him and I felt like I was in the same situation, he denied sleeping with her. I broke off seeing him because I had the suspicion he was seeing other women, which he denied. After I broke it off he said he wanted to move on and meet someone that his family would approve of, they would not approve of me as I am older than he by 12 years. I am 49 and he is 37. He kept wanting to see me, didn't want me finding anyone else.
Two days before Christmas he called and said he needed money as he was in trouble. I told him I didn't have any and could not get any as he has drained me dry. I recently found out that this guy is now engaged with a baby on the way with the girl he denied being in a relationship with in April.
I know this guy is not good for me and I want to cut him off but don't know how to do it as he owes me money. I have the feeling he will not pay me back as he has lied and cheated, not only with me but with the girl he is engaged with, as he was seeing me at the same time. So do I cut my losses and run and how should I handle it??
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In your shoes: I would not walk away from my $18,000.
Arrange something with him, negotiate, to see how he will be paying you your money back. He has to give you at least a certain amount each month until it's paid off. If he starts and tells you he can't pay you your money or he's in a financial hardship, don't take that. If he completely denies the whole idea of paying you back, get a good lawyer, and sue him for your losses! That's a lot of money to just walk away from. Bottom line, RECOVER your money from him before you ditch him; he's no good for you.
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Well,m what I would do, is try to find SOME WAY to get some of your money back. Is there any way that maybe you can sue him and get at least some of your money back? I would look it up, or try and find some information on it. It just makes me so mad that someone could actually do this to a person. I'm sorry for what your going through right now, but I would try my hardest to get any money that I could.
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Before you cut your losses completely, take a look at the paper trail. Can you sue him for all or a portion of the money he owes you?
Obviously you should not have a friendship or any sort of romantic relationship with with him anymore, but speaking to a lawyer about his debts does not mean being his friend. It's a pretty clear way to cut him out of your life. Although it might seem cruel to sue a man with a baby, it might be the kindest thing you can for his partner and their child by exposing his past manipulation and abuse of your trust, even if you only go after him for a small portion of what you can easily prove he owes you.
Gather your paperwork and e-mails togeather regarding the money you had given him, and speak to a lawyer.
If you never cohabitated, proving the money was a loan is easier than if you lived together and finances were shared. I really think you should consider taking this a legal route.
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Considering what this guy has done to you I think you shouldn't do anything for him. Just run away from him. He should be a responsible adult and both of you are at that age where responsibility should have been taken care of already. If you really want the money contact his parents. But other than that this man has already done the worst to you. You need to leave him. It seems like this guy wasn't even in love with you because he wasn't faithful and he's already engaged so fast?! Just let this guy live his life and watch how messed up his relationship with his wife will be. Because this is what he deserves.
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Cut your losses. Chalk it up to a very hard lesson learned. Stop taking his calls, emails, facebooks, etc. Cut off ALL communication completely. You can't trust yourself around this guy. your will is not strong when it comes to him. So do the hard thing, which is the RIGHT thing, and walk away from this and don't look back. And remember, you can help people without giving away your savings. And never lend money to ANYONE unless you KNOW you can afford to never get it back, because many times, you won't.
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u should leave him as soon as possible, but try to get your money back 1st, you can see your ex was with you beacuse of the money. $18000 is alot of money. cant you go to the police or see a lawyer there should be someone who can help you to get ur money back. if there is no chance of you getting your money back, you know he is not going to give it to you, so you might as well leave him!!
i hope i helped
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