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i feel like this is way too fast!
i'm 18 female and my parents and boyfriend and best friend are all talking to me about the future. At first it was ok but now i feel like its gotten way out of hand and i feel like i'm about to lose it!
my parents are talking to me about college (which is fine because i already know what college i'm going to) but then they were talking about moving and studying abroad and studying international school and living there when i'm older like 2 or 3 years from now.
my boyfriend was talking to me about our future together. at first that was fine because i thought it was cute that he wanted to stay together when i was in college. but now he's talking about marriage and where we would live and kids etc. i'm freaking just a kid still!!! i feel like i'm so overwhelmed with him talking about the future and i haven't really given it a thought but it hurts my brain to think about the future
my best friend was talking to me about college (that was fine because we were discussing which colleges we were going to) but then she started talking about how when we are older we could travel together and get an apartment together and be roommates and do everything together. at first i was fine with it because she is my best friend and we are like sisters and i can't imagine life without her.. but now its just weird how we are basically planning our future..
i dont know if i'm overreacting but i just feel so overwhelmed with everything. i do have a lot of stress in my life, so that could be a factor. but i just feel so stressed and anxiety and i wish i could scream at people! help what do i do?
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It's ok to be scared of the future. it's a big step and the real world is scary. but, honestly, it's just talk. it never hurts to have a plan. nothing is gonna happen all of a sudden. you got plenty of time. take things slow and you'll be fine. the important thing is for you to be happy, cuz if your not, it is very upsetting. hang in there.
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Since you have a best friend, I'm sure she loves you, I'm sure your parents love you, and I'm sure your boyfriend loves you. Now, why don't you think about what YOU want. It's YOUR life. If you plan on living with your grandma in peru, it's YOUR choice. And because these people love you they want whats best for you. And what's best for you, is you being happy. Please think about that. I hope that helps.
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Try a little humor. The next time someone starts mapping out your life, ask something like:
"Excuse me, at what point in the process do I become involved with the rest of my life?"
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Been there, done that.
The best way to handle people asking about your future, or trying to make plans for you is to have a deflecting statement. What do I mean?
Something like "Whoa! I hardly have a handle on today, let alone 3 years from now!"
You don't need to tell anyone that you don't want to plan the future with them. Just let them know that in general, you're not ready to even start thinking about anything beyond breakfast tomorrow morning.
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You need to tell everyone how you're feeling.
Granted, take it from someone who's trucking out this whole college path alone; but tell your parents you want to take everything one step at a time. If you do want to study abroad, yes you need to start looking/planning now, but if they're moving too fast with it all tell them that you appreciate their help and confidence in you but that you need to let the big step of college set it for a little bit.
For your boyfriend, if you love him and want to be with him, let him know. Tell him how you feel. That you love him and love that he wants to stay with you but that you're far too young to be thinking about marriage and children. If you're thinking you want to move on and meet other guys, then you should tell him that as well.
And finally, for your best friend. You need to let her know that you love her to death and can't imagine not having her. But that you feel like the two of you need to live your own futures and explore your own destinys. You can stay best friends without being with each other forever.
Communication is key and I promise it will make you feel better.
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Hi,
You should know that the present will help you get to the future. Without that, there is no future. Sure it is nice knowing what the future may hold, but I'm sure you also know that the future isn't that near and all these things floating in your mind are just ideas. Nobody ever knows what can happen tomorrow or where you will be in two years. All you should think about is the present and how you will work to get to where you would like to be in the future. It is alright to imagine. There is no set goals in life, until that point in time shows up. Live/deal with what you have in front of you now and then live in the moment you have in the future.
Tell your boyfriend and friend that they have great ideas, but you'll see. And take the time to try and imagine what they imagine, just for a moment; you may like the thought. Only time can tell what will happen. Enjoy the life you have, relax, and do the fun things you can while you can. You should live your lovely teenage life while its still here. Soak yourself in a hot bubblebath and know that even though these people have ideas to put in your brain, you are ultimately the one that controls them <3
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