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More than friends?
Okay so there is this real close friend of mine.We are classmates. And we had this sleepover, a couple of us, guys and girls. I just broke up two months back with my bf who cheated..so i am still getting over it...And my friend broke up a few days ago. We ended up chatting throughout the night, and i dont know what happened but we ended up kissing each other too..it was not our intention of doing ANYTHING like that. we pretty much have feelings for our ex's and not each other. i dont know why and how it happened.
we have promised not to tell this to anyone. and that this incident will stay a secret between the two of us forever. but i feel weird about it, i feel disgusted for doing such a stupid thing now. do you think things will change because of this? i am scared he would tell someone which i really dont want.HELP. how should i handle this?
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well you see since both of your relationships didn't work our recently you both are looking for a rebound and i'm sure you felt like you needed somebody to help you through your hard time so you kissed him its a natural reaction really don't worry about it, i'm sure he didn't tell anybody i mean why would he? its a two way thing you should definately speak to him and tell him what i'm telling you, that you just needed somebody and all you want from him is friendship if you tell him this then nothing will change just let him know that it was mistake, and please don't feel disgusted sweetheart as i said it was a natural reaction and you have nothing to be ashamed of , it was one meaningless kiss
best of luck
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Heyy sorry I just got onto my account, but believe it or not, this does not mean you like each other. Here is how you should handle this:
1) Talk to them again and tell them how you would really like it if they kept it personal because it wasn't meant to happen.
2) Do not avoid the friend, act like nothing happened and they will tag along and act the same way. That way, you guys will both be friends just like it was before it all happened.
3) Don't panic, make sure to understand that it was all an accident and it will make you stop thinking about it.
4) Try to gain trust into the friend and soon they will start to forget about it.
5) No matter what, after talking to them about keeping it a secret, DO NOT bring it up. Let them forget.
Hope this helps,
P.S Wishing you the best of luck
♥gamergirlxoxo♥
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you can either completely ignore it and move on with your life. Or you can talk to that guy and get closer with him. If you guys kissed, well it obviously means something. Nobody just kisses for the hell of it and then walks away like it was nothing. But if you guys do start something together, make sure its what you want. Because when you just ended a relationship, and then kiss another guy, it tends to be a rebound and you're just looking for someone to take your mind off the pain. If thats the case- let the guy know. Maybe he's looking for a rebound too and you both can help each other out. But you have to be careful with this because as soon as 1 of you gets serious about the relationship, then all hell breaks loose and it causes more problems and drama.
If I were you- take a few days/weeks to yourself and think about what YOU want.
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You didn't do anything wrong by kissing him since you were both single at the time, but could you maybe be feeling like you were sort of cheating back at your ex? If your friend has feelings for you that you don't have for him, maybe you're feeling bad about that? Try talking all of this out in a journal, if you can't confide in your friend. I've been through a lot of relationship drama, and I find the more I talk to myself about it, the more I can figure out about myself and my feelings. I hope you and your friend continue to stay friends and that you work through your negative feelings.
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Hey,
I want you to relax. You say this guy is a friend of yours and that you two are in similar situations as far as your ex-relationships go, so more than likely, he'll understand. From what you've told me, I don't see why he would run around telling people. The best thing you could do would be to see where his head is. Make sure he's on the same page as you. Find out what he thinks of the incident. Then, tell him how you're feeling. Tell him you're probably vulnerable right now because of your recent break-up and that you don't want what happened between you two to harm you all's friendship. Also, tell him you don't want him to think you're ready to be anything more than friends. Don't feel disgusted with yourself. Like I said, you're probably just feeling vulnerable right now, but it will pass. Just be careful not to sink into your own vulnerability and disappoint yourself. I doubt your friend is going to tell anyone. Keep me updated.
Hope I helped =)
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You have nothing to hide. You have both just gotten out of a relationship in which your still in love with the person and you guys were just feeling lonely and at the time it felt like the right thing because you have so much in common and are feeling the same things at the moment. Just treat it like it is. A complete misunderstanding. It wasn't intended and you don't like him like that. Don't stress to much about it because then you'll make it seem like it's more than it is. I doubt things will change but you might both be feeling a bit awkward about this so maybe you guys should talk but this time just air your feelings about the kiss, and keep it to that. I'm sure it won't hurt to talk about what happened, you just have to push past this and good things will soon start happening again, I hope this helps, if you need any more help please don't hesitate to inbox me again, good luck xx
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Hey, sorry for the late answer. I think that it all depends on what the kiss felt like. Did you enjoy it at the moment, or did you find it weird and odd. I think that if you enjoyed it, you might love each other. If that is the case, you should talk to him about it and tell him how you feel, the chances are that he probably like you back. If you found it weird and disgusting Have i can imagine that you must feel really weird around him. a really long discussion with him and tell him how you feel. You should talk it out and let go of the tension between you two. If he is truly your friend, you will go back to like before.
-Ask Alice
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Hey,
I believe the reason why you kissed is cuz in that moment you felt connected. You knew what the other person was going through and related to eachothers emotions (after the break ups). Being caught up in all of it, you both realized you had simular expiriences and so you kissed. It happens.
You shouldn`t feel weird about it. Even though it may have seemed disgusting after the fact, you both just did what you felt... it wasn`t stupid and it never will be. I think the disgusting part came in when you thought about your ex and realized you just kissed another guy for a reason you were unaware of. Having that kiss could change things; you or this guy could develop feelings towards one another, you might feel as if you want some space from eachother or nothing could change. It all depends on how both of you interpreted the kiss and how you want to act on it. To me it seems as if this guy is pretty easy going and that you two had `got` eachother.
If you want to forget about it and move on, you can. But If in the future you start developing some feelings, then maybe just go with it. He seems like an honest guy. Of course I don`t know him personally as you do, but I think if he made a promise he should be able to keep his word. Again, if you feel wary, talk to him calmly, say you love being friends with him, but you don`t want to make anything of the kiss... unless you decide you want to (of course). I think he understood this when he made the promise, but its always nice to have confirmity.
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I wouldn't feel too guiltly about this. Both of you feel the same way and are in similar situations, so you connected by talking. You both know that the kiss was just your way of trying to distract yourselves from your break ups, and that it was a test or a rebound. You are both single, you have nothing to be ashamed of.
I doubt he will tell anyone because if he wants a chance with his ex he won't want her to know, and it sounds like he respects you. It may be awkward between you two, but you can always try to talk to him and explain yourself.
I would just try to move on with your life, and not worry about it too much. It was just a kiss.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Hey, Thinks for asking me this!(: Actualy I had something like similar to this happen to me so I am sure I can help(: ok so to start off you said you ended up kissing, I think it was just like rush of the moment, like You are friends, and you and him both had the same thing happen like you and your bf broke up and him and his gf broke up and I think it was because ya'll both had this happen you know like when you brake up with someone after the sadness (if there is) is over then you feel kinda free and extra flirty and open well I think thats how ya'll both felt so it led up to doing what you did. Like you knew you didn't have feelings for each other but your body or mind just did what it wanted. Kinda like a rebound romance except you yourself didn't intend to do it. It just happened. Also it's normal to feel weird about it but it's ok everyone makes mistakes. Now you said you where scared he would tell someone well I am for sure that he woun't because it takes TWO to kiss and if you kissed him he kissed you. You said ya'll both feel the same way so he is most likely in the same place is you feeling disgusted and probaly thinking I hope she don't tell. Like he isn't going to go off to all his friends adn do that. Now maybe if you came up to him and kissed him on the lips and he didn't kiss back or just kinda sat there ya know lol we'll then ya I can see him telling his friends then, but no not in this situation! and last you said do you think things will change. Well I honestly hope not, it may be a little akward at first but if not jump right in and act like nothing ever happened, and if it is a little akward at first make small talk and buid your conversations back up it would prob only take a week at the most. I think things should be fine just make small talk (if needed. Well I hope I helped! Thanks for asking me this(: If you need anything else or anymore help imbox me Good Luck(:
xoxo Madison!
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you were both vulnerable.. which is why you both kissed eachother. parts of you probably wanted to prove to yourselves that just because someone broke up with you or you broke up with someone, it doesnt mean you cant have fun or be with someone else. sometimes things just happen.. sometimes theyre meant to happen.. you both just acted on your impulses, its okay. youre both single. so neither of you were cheating.
dont be disgusted with yourself. people make mistakes. its not the end of the world. it happened. now its time to deal with it and move on from it. a couple months from now, itll be funny to you :] dont worry.
and things will only change because of this IF you want them to or if dwell over what happened. its your choice.
also, talk to the guy. tell him how you feel and that you really dont want anyone to find out. and that you dont want what happened to ruin anything, even the friendship that you both have. communication is key, and if you express that you want this to never be spoken about, im sure he'll agree.. he agreed before.
just be calm, cool and collected. if you spaz about this or obsess over it, people will find out. just pretend it never happened and go from there, because nothing did happen.. it was just a kiss. thats it. nothing major. youre both single, and nothing bad happened. youre fine.
good luck ! hope i helped, my inbox is always open ! xxo.
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You made it clear that you guys have feelings for your ex's and not each other. There's no reason for you to feel weird about this. You guys probably just connected from talking and got caught up in the moment. It's really not a big deal.
You made a promise to each other not to tell, so if he's a good friend, he'll hold up his half of the deal. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want anyone to find out either considering he wants to try and get his girlfriend back.
It more than likely won't change anything. You guys will continue to be friends. No big deal.
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I'm sure he'd appreciate the disgust.
Will things change? No idea. That involves alot more knowing who you two are and what you're like and alot less guessing over the internet.
The only way you'll find out is to talk about it. I mean, maybe you both have feelings, maybe just one, maybe you're both just missing being with someone and went for a little intimacy with someone you trusted. Regardless, you need to chill out about him telling someone and just communicate with him without any other concerns. Who cares if he tells someone? I mean, you obviously, but why does it really matter?
If you want to figure out more about this, start a conversation and make your feelings clear. If you love him as a friend and everything else was just you being lonely, then he kinda needs to know that. He might have some feelings for you, he might not, but if he does and you keep quiet he's probably going to lose his shit over it.
Address it now. Deal with the awkwardness and talk to your friend, figure out where you stand.
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There's a lot of things to consider. How close of friends are you, how long have you known him, do you find him attractive, does any of your friends like him and could you see yourself dating him? If something does come up right now, you can play it off like....yeah we were playing truth or dare and I kissed him but that was all. Lots of people have rebound relationships and I think that's what happened. You were feeling hurt and alone and this guy was there and convenient, so you kissed him. It made you feel attractve and a little less hurt...which most people do in your situation. I wouldn't worry about it right now but if he does try to date you, then you should sit down and have a talk with him. I hope this helps and good luck.
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I understand that its embarrassing, but try not to look at it as a bad thing. Look at it as two people who were hurting about breakups finding some comfort with each other. I don't think it needs to be a secret, you didn't do anything wrong, but that's up to you. You don't need to advertise it, but if he tells someone, so what? Like I said, just look at it as two friends who needed to connect with another person to ease the loneliness just a bit. You did it, its over and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You're not attached to anyone. You're single and so is he and so you made out one night? Big deal. Don't think so much about it. I think the fact that you are so desperate to keep it a secret makes it feel worse than it actually was. If someone asks you about it you can just say yeah, something happened, but it was a private thing and I don't want to talk about it. End of story. Don't worry, as time moves forward this will get easier and easier. Keep yourself busy and try to put it out of your mind. You didn't do anything wrong. Good luck!
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i really hope the advice im about to give helps you. From what i have read it sounds like yes there is something there but i also sense that at the miniute it is just a rebound reaction and could hurt you both, if you both feel happy once you have no longer got the strong feelings for your ex's then go for the relationship :) i hope it goes well for you.
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It happened because you let it happen, The best way to handle it is to tell him you apologize but you feel it was a mistake and would like to put it behind the both of you. If you both are getting over a breakup then you both should of kept your distances.
Things will not happen if you don't let it, If he goes on telling people either A. ignore it and let it pass, or B. Admit your wrong doing and move on.
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As long as neither of you make a big deal of it, it won't be. You two were it seems just vulnerable. However, you might begin to develop feelings for him, and him for you. If that happens just let it happen. Sometimes friends going into relationships actually work.
xoxo,
dottie4
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