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this might be long, but i neeed help!!
((14/f)) and the boy ((17/m))
k, so i met this kid at the beginning of the school year. and basically we've been in love ever since.
but we aint going out because of my mom
she hates him, and shes never even met him.. and she thinks that he just wants sex, cuz she assumes thats what every guy older then me wants. but ivee already told him that im not having sex, because i think im too young, and he understands completely. and i know he doesnt want sex, because its been 9 months and hes still here.
and we both really want to go out,
btu the problem:
my mom
and our school.
our school talks way too much crap
any suggestions on what i should do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Get your mom to meet this guy.
Tell him he is the one that can treat you right. Unlike some other guys.
Tell her that 'sex' isn't the ONLY thing that goes in his mine 24/7. Basically tell her that he cares for you, his grades, and school.
Not telling you to lie or anything. But if he does think those three are important to him. Make sure to tell your mom.
Once she gets to know him a bit better. Having 'private' talks with him. Then soon everything would be fine.
Invite him over for dinner. Or just to hang out at your place. Your mom would end up letting you date him, after all, if she finally meets the guy you think is right for you, she would understand.
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i know this is not what you want to hear, but mom's know best, she just has your best interest at thought. she just wants to keep you safe and to not get hurt... trust me, i've been down this same road as well. when i was as young as you, i was with a 17 year old, we were together for 3 years, and we thought we were in love... my mom didn't like him and said that all he wants is sex... i didn't wanna believe her... so i just did my own thing... but it bit me in the butt afterwords.. not saying my mom was fully right, but i realized i'm better off without him, and i have the whole rest of my life ahead of me... while settle down like this soooo soon? trust me, do the right thing, listen to your mom, and you will realize you did the right thing by listening to her... i hope i helped.
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well i can tell you this. all guys DO want sex. but if you are lucky, youll find one who doesnt care that much about it and is willing to wait. seems like youve found such a guy. just can guilt your mom into it by asking why she doesnt trust you. basically saying "so what if he wants sex? dont you trust me not to do it?"
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If I were you I'd bring the boyfriend to your house, so your mom can basically have a chat to get to know him better...and take it from there
xo
Kristen
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Talk to your mom about it first. Try to get her to see it from your point of view. Maybe you can have him meet her one day, but tell him in advance what she doesn't like, so he can prove he is good.
If your mom still can't see your side and you really want to go out with him, there is always Plan B: Date in secret. You can either just hide it from your mother or not tell anyone that you are dating. Personally, I think it is better not to tell anyone at all because it will get around your school and to your parents and shit. Besides, some people say that the best relationships are the ones that nobody knows about. Just keep it between you two.
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You can't really blame your mom for acting that way because parents tend to be OVEEERPROTECTIVE to their children especially to their DAUGHTERS.
BUT, if you learn how to gain their trust, they might just loosen up a lil' bit. If she doesn't allow you to go OUt(literally), then why not try to hang out in your own house? That way, your mom will be able to watch over you while you're spending time with your guy. That way, too, she'll see that he's not just after sex.
Hope I helped!
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I am 22 years old and even though a 4 year age difference is not a huge deal. I myself adore someone who is 3 years younger then me. I do understand your mom's concern. But like you said, if this guy was after you just for sex he would be long gone by now since he isn't getting anything from you. Your mom, you and him should all sit down together and have a talk. Maybe if she meets him and can trust him with you then she might start to relax. It's hard for a mom to let go of her child. He needs to earn her trust. It's a tough situation but if it's meant to be it will. Your still so young and guys will come and go. I hope you try this and it works for you. Good luck sweetie.
:-)
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da best way is to talk to ya mom about it. but to tell you da truth i'm in the same situation. cause me and dis boy like each other but da problem is my parents, my friends, and my school. its killing me cause i really wanna be with him. good luck hunn, hopefully it will turn out good for you.
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Try talking to your mom. Sit her down and tell her that he's not like other guys. That you two have been talking for 9 months and he doesnt want to have sex with you and that he is very nice and understands that you dont want to have sex with you. Tell her that just because hes older it doesnt mean hes just going to use you and that you are keeping your eyes open and if he does try anything with you that you will stop seeing him. Tell her that you know to be carefull and that you will tell him your just not ready and that your to young to have sex with him. Im not sure if this would work but just let her know that you are smart and you have common since and that you will watch out for those things. Try to be very serious when talking o her and ask her if she would like to meet him so she can get to know him a little better so she can trust who your going out with.
♥ jAcKiiE
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ok you should just go out anyways just tell your mom your going out with him as a friend. ive been out with plenty of guys and my mom didnt like them and she never knew.
if its love
you need to go for it.
♥ jordan
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Try to ,sadly, secretly go out. But then again, you're too young for him but sometimes you get one brak, and you must decide if this is THE BREAK.
Hope I Helped!
-Enie78
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go out secretly
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I don't know your mother, so I don't know how reasonable she is or isn't. If it's possible to arrange a meeting, that could potentially be a good idea. This way it gives the boy a chance to present himself to her in a mature fashion and show that he has nothing to hide and his intentions are good. Your school should have nothing to do with your love life, so disregard anything coming from your schoolmates.
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Dont listen to people at your school because its none of their business but maybe you should talk to your mom and sit her down and explain how you feel about this guy. Maybe it would be a good idea for you,this guy and your mom to watch a movie together or have dinner or something so they can talk alittle bit. hope i helped!!
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I totally agree with your mother.
What should you do? Have him meet her and hang out over your house, watching movie and stuff while she's around. If your relationship can't handle that, then obviously is isn't too strong. You are far too young to be going out on dates, especially with someone significantly older then you. If you are so deeply in love then you can keep is casual and friendly for a year or two. Sound like way to long to wait? Then it must not be too deep.
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hey, well forget what the people at your school say. its you and the guys relationship, NOT the whole schools. as for your mom. i think she will be pretty upset if she finds out that your going out with him after she said no. you should have a talk with her WITH THE GUY TOO! both explain to your mom what the situation is and important facts. dont hold back on your feelings. cait♥
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