im 15/f. ok, please dont judge me but i seriously need help! my boyfriend went away for a week and i was at home bored. but then one of my mates was having a party so i went. but i had a lot of stuff going on in my life so i started drinking to forget them. i know i shouldnt have but i did and i got really drunk. i dont really remember much but i do remember sleeping with a lad at the party. i dont think he used a condom either because he was really drunk too. should i tell my boyfriend or not? do you think he will forgive me because i really do love him? it was just a mistake!
Help me please!
o0xbrianna answered Sunday April 17 2005, 9:36 pm: Wow, you are pretty much screwed! Sorry. But I think that you should really tell your boyfriend. Would you not want to know if your boyfriend cheated on you? No. It was a mistake you were drunk. He might or might not forgive depending on what kind of a boyfriend you have. Just be very apologetic about the whole thing and tell him that you really do love him and you never meant to hurt him. Good luck! Oh and go to a gyno to see if you are pregnant or have any STDS or anything!
sweet_apples answered Friday April 15 2005, 11:49 am: wow im sorry that happen to you and well if you think your pregnet than get tested and i know every body makes mistakes and well if you have a boyfriend that you really love and could trust than tell but if you dont think hell understand than i dont know and if you think that vtheres no other possible way he could every find out about what you did than hey what he dosent know cant hurt hm but rember if finds out later when you guys are more serious hell be even madder but get tested!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [ sweet_apples's advice column | Ask sweet_apples A Question ]
Kels answered Saturday April 9 2005, 11:19 am: you have to tell him! and just explain to him the situation! he should understand!!!
hope i helped-
kels
*(ps. please remember that you asked what i think, and i gave you my honest oppinion, so please do not rate me low because it wasn not what you wanted to hear.)* [ Kels's advice column | Ask Kels A Question ]
YOURmyONLYhope answered Wednesday April 6 2005, 4:49 pm: honesty is always the best way to go..because if you dont tell the truth to him yourself than he could find out from someone else and it would just cause more problems then it should have..i would tell him if i was you. [ YOURmyONLYhope's advice column | Ask YOURmyONLYhope A Question ]
xGLiTtErEdxEyEsx answered Wednesday April 6 2005, 11:55 am: <font size=4>uhh.. YEAH he will be mad.. DUH!! why wouldnt he be mad if you fucked some other dude and not him when you guys were together.. your dumb you shouldnt drink with a bunch of ppl without your boyfriend there even if some of them were girls.. but you were still with guys!! and thats WRONG!!</font> [ xGLiTtErEdxEyEsx's advice column | Ask xGLiTtErEdxEyEsx A Question ]
ThursdayCasey answered Tuesday April 5 2005, 1:46 am: If you do tell him, its over. He'll leave you despite the fact that the two of you were in love. He'll be pissed at you for two reasons. (1) you cheated on him and (2) you slept with this other dude before you slept with him. Now, teenagers don't know how to deal with issues like this, and their initial reaction is to just blow up and not care. So, don't expect him to sit and talk with you. Even if you do work it out with him, do you always want to worry about him cheating on you now? because this is a possibility you know. My advice, and it may not be the "right" advice, but if you really do want to salvage the situation/relationship, you have to not have any association with the dude you slept with, and hide the secret at all costs. If there is any chance that he'll find out, then I'd just tell him and expect him to leave you. Good Luck!! [ ThursdayCasey's advice column | Ask ThursdayCasey A Question ]
girdy_goo15 answered Monday April 4 2005, 12:27 pm: well first of all you should have had better judgement but it was a mistake and everyone makes mistakes. yes you should be honest with him. he will eventually find out and it will hurt more later. so i think you should tell him. and i think he will be angry but he will maybe understand [ girdy_goo15's advice column | Ask girdy_goo15 A Question ]
gp4l answered Sunday April 3 2005, 7:10 pm: damn girl your in a really hard position now look heres what the deal is...everyone makes mistakes its human nature...some make small mistakes and some make big mistakes now the mistake you made is big but as they say two wrongs dont make a right so what you have to do is tell your boyfriend... now believe me i know its not gonna be easy to tell him this and you might not get the response that you were hoping for from him but honesty is the best policy even if sometimes it doesnt seem that way it is...just think what if you didnt tell him and somehow he found out on his own it would make the situation a million times worse then its already gonna be...also put yourself in his shoes if he did something like that to you wouldnt you wanna find out from him instead of having to hear it from someone else...being honest to someone shows them you care even when its not good news you have to say(not to say they wont be upset or mad with you)...now when you tell him this i suggest before telling him anything you explain to him exactly how you feel about him because if you dont do that first you might not get the chance to do it later...then if i were you i would tell hi exactly what happened leaving nothing out...now he might feel as though you betrayed him and trust me he will be really upset with you but if everything was ment to work out between you and him then fate will take its coarse and in the end everything will be fine...so hold your head up be a real women about your mistake and do what you gotta do...i hope my advice helped [ gp4l's advice column | Ask gp4l A Question ]
karenR answered Sunday April 3 2005, 2:17 pm: I would keep it to myself unless the chance s of him finding out are real good.
Telling him would relieve your guilt but would only hurt him. I believe in honesty, but I see no reason to hurt someone to feel better about mistakes. You did wrong, you know it, now forget it and carry on. :) [ karenR's advice column | Ask karenR A Question ]
BeautifulMadness answered Sunday April 3 2005, 12:41 pm: He most likely will be mad, and he has a right to be - whether it was a mistake or not, in his eyes it will still have been a betrayal. I think it's clear that you really love him, and he probably knows that too. So I think you should tell him. This will eat you up inside if you don't and it was just a mistake. He'd rather hear it from you than someone else too. Remember when you tell him to not try and blame it on anyone else or excuse yourself - say something like 'it was a stupid mistake, I was drunk and I know that's no excuse, but please forgive me? I won't do it again, yadda yadda yadda'. You'll probably have to give him some time to get over it, so don't try and push him to make any kind of decision about you two for a while. Stay strong - do the right thing and tell him :)
And for now you'll have to go to the doctors, planned parenthood/GUM clinic etc or a pharmacy and get a pregnancy test and get checked out for STD's.
Good luck and I hope everything turns out OK for you!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx [ BeautifulMadness's advice column | Ask BeautifulMadness A Question ]
xcuriousx0 answered Sunday April 3 2005, 12:19 pm: well everyone makes mistakes. dont get me wrong. but you mean alot to your boyfriend so he is going to be a little dissapointed and angry about the situation. your going to tell him what happened. if you dont then that will be one more check on the board. hopefully he will appreciate it that you where honest and told him what happened instead of trying to cover it up. ya know what i mean? well anyways...tell him that you where drunk and you had no idea what you where doing.
<3 kayla [ xcuriousx0's advice column | Ask xcuriousx0 A Question ]
feverdancer03 answered Sunday April 3 2005, 12:05 pm: Oh sorry to say..you got yourself in kinda deep....You HAVE to tell him. Make sure your not pragnant first though so you can tell him for sure your not, because if you are, that might lessen your chances with getting back with your boyfriend (sorry to say, but hopefully your not pregnant*) and get yourself tested and stuff. Anyway, if you dont tell..this will always be on your mind, and you will always feel like theres something between you and your boyfriend that needs to be said...and this situation will be it. if your bo friend really cares for you...he would probably take you back...but it might take a while. If he doesnt ocme aorund right away....give him a couple of weeks, and see what his intentions are. Although you shouldnt have drank and gotten drunk......people do make mistakes....even though your 15, and this was a HUGE mistake (sorry but it was) try not to get yourself into situations like that anymore, because they can lead to trouble. Anyway, just explain what had happene,d and all the things that were on your mind, and tell him how much your love him....hopefully after some time, he will come back to you. Hope i helped! And good luck! [ feverdancer03's advice column | Ask feverdancer03 A Question ]
icey0990 answered Sunday April 3 2005, 12:00 pm: ok..when you tell him dont expect him to give you a hug and say ok. I mean, think if he were the one to make a stupid mistake..so i think if you tell him be ready for him to flip out..and hopefuly he will come around and support you. If i were in your position, what my boyfriend thinks would be #3 on my list. My list of worries would be
1. Am i pregnent??
2.What will my parents say if i am?
3. What will my bf say?
So i wouldnt tell him until after you take some pregnency tests..even if your not pregnent. If you tell him before it would stress you out and he might be angry..
But you know what? it really depends on what kind of person he is and how you are. Maybe you want to tell him right away..it could help you get through it until you take the pregnency test. Its hard to advise you if you should wait on telling him or not..but i definately think you should tell him. Whether you tell him after you take pregnency tests or before, its up to you. Follow your heart and things will pull through no matter what the outcome is
And to answer the additional info part..yes i think it would get him down that you slept with another guy instead of him..its only natural to feel that way. I know that i would feel upset if my bf had sex with somone at a party before we ever had sex (assuming i was older and ready)
But everything will pull throug eventually..so hold your head hhigh and be strong
-melissa- [ icey0990's advice column | Ask icey0990 A Question ]
mrs_radcliffe answered Sunday April 3 2005, 11:58 am: If you loved your boyfriend i think you should tell him because if you dont your keep secrets from him, and if he finds out buy someone else then he will ask you why you didnt tell him and he will be even more upset, I think that he wont be able to forgive you for what you did. If it was just a mistake sometimes guys cant see it as a mistake and take it personally, which means he wont forgive you.
EJ47 answered Sunday April 3 2005, 11:56 am: I think you should tell him. If he is truly your BF he will understand that you were just stressing a little since he was gone and got a little smashed by accident at a party.. I would understand. For the condom-less not-sure-ness, get a pregnancy test. I say if you /are/ pregnant, either get an abortion ((dont need a child from a drunk, do we? >: ))
mykonstantine101 answered Sunday April 3 2005, 11:55 am: I really think you should tell him.. because you have the chance of being pregnant.. and if you are he might think its his.. He might not forgive you.. but if you kept it a secret and he found out.. he'd be more pissed... I really hope it works out for the best!
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