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This is a change of life if you help me.
IM 14 yrs old and i have a pretty bad life. Im not suicidal or anything. Ive had a pretty bad past. My brother andrew hurts me he will kick me in the stomach and ribs and yell at me and it got so bad my mom called the cops. He threatend me and my moms life. I called him in detention (kids jail) and he said there was nothing to be said to me and he wants nothing to do with me and he will never find away to forgive me or forget. Now he is being senet away. my mom is never home. I told her we need some serious talking to do and we need to talk It took a long time to come out of that shell and tell her that. She just told me she has to go to her boyfriends house. I was shocked. She leaves me for her BOYFRIEND. When her own daughter needs help! I was in treatment i was sent away for 5 months. Nothing really changed over that. Im not a virgin the only reason why is because i feel thats the only thing that makes me feel wanted. Just to be "loved" for that period of time. I was thinking of the long run. Now my friend offered me to live with her for as long as i needed. To sort things out. Me and my friend had some pretty ruff times we actually we're best friends but i screwed up and that ended it but she was still there for me. So she offered a home for me. Shes not into that stuff sex, drugs, or drinking. Im trying to get away from that but its hard. Like i said... i feel like i belong then. SO how do i tell my mom that i want to just not leave her but i need a break. For a bit. my friend said that we could get both of our moms together and me and her would sit down and we would talk it out. I dont want my mom to think she is a bad mother i just need a "mother" figure there for me that i can talk to. And wont leave on me when i need help. So help me please. This is and maybe a change of life.
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Sometimes we are afraid to escape our current lives to see what is truly out there for us. It's amazing that you have such a friend who cares for you like this. Communication is very important in relationships when it comes to family. You are not telling your mom you don't lve her by doing this, you are just telling her that you want to better your life and thsi may be the way to do it. Don't give up on yourself but take your mistakes in life as learning lessons to better who you are as a person. The best thing about you is you have that right to make that choice. Let it be the right one. Do what will make you a better person and that will add and multiply to your life. You don't need to sleep with people to accept you. Your best friend accepts you and one day there will be the right guy who will accept you for you. Believe in yourself and others will as well. You know what is right so just do it.
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First of all, be thankful that you have a great friend to help you! That is so rare.
Bad habits can be hard to break, but try and remember the consequences of your actions every time you have impulsive sex, use drugs, or drink. An important thing to keep in mind is that you can only control your reaction in life. Your circumstances are not going to be controllable, but how you react to them is. Reacting to your hard situation with courage and as much responsibility as you can will be the only thing you can do besides accepting your friend's help. Things will not get easier right away, but consistently making the right choices will make you happier in the end.
I suggest you accept your friend's offers for living with her and other help she might offer.
I hope this helps.
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Wow, you have a great friend. Just tell your mom you want to stay over your friends for a while. Why would she care? You even said she like wants to spend time with her boyfriend and all..so i think she'll be okay with it. I know its hard to stop the drugs and drinking and all but you cant do that stuff while your staying at your friends house. Show them respect and show them that your glad that they took you in. Do that by respecting their wishes(not doing anything bad). So I think you should just straight out ask your mom because I think she'll def. say yes.
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This is a difficult situation to be in. I will attempt to help you as well as possible. This is not something easy to deal with. However don't put yourself out there for guys to use you for sex even if it does make you feel loved, because it will get worse before you find that person to love you. When you do want to sit down and talk to your mom it does sound like it would be easier for you to have your friend and her mom there because it might help you to open up and tell your mom how you truly feel. And if you do think that you need a break and to go stay with your friend than you should probably persue that so that you don't get put in dangerous positions that can hurt you mentally or emotionally. And it sounds like you will be safe at your friend's house and that you will have people there for you there. Well I hope this helps and if you want anymore advice just contact me I am very willing to help you out. <3 Julie
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Wow I feel so bad for you. You need to go to family consuling or sit down with your friend's mother and your's. You need to get through to her. A professional consuling session would probably be best. Is your dad still around? Is there anyone you can live with? But as I said before consuling is your best bet. I hope I helped! ♥ good luck
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I'm really sorry to hear about all the things that are going in your life. I'm not going to say that I have a similar experience but I sympathize with the things that you are going through. I know how it is to feel abandoned and going through the drugs and alcohol (Sober 3 years on January 31 this year).
You do need help though because I don't want to see you go down a path that may be more difficult to get away from. I find it is a shame about how your mom just doesn't seem to care and you need a mother figure in your life. So, I have a few suggestions that you may want to consider, if not IM (AIM: AKSherma although I work most of the day and don't get home till late- 9 or later EST) me and I'll help (do have a degree in psychology and have done this type of work before).
1. Is your father involved at all? If he can be reached he may be able to help give you that place in your life.
2. I know that this sounds bad but church or some religious group may be able to help you. I know that it may sound strange but priests etc are required to be confidential like doctors.
3. Talk to you doctor about the things that you are going through. He/she may be able to help.
4. You can contact the local hospital and ask them about services that they have- support groups and stuff. Alcoholics anonymous also has programs where you will be at least able to talk to people around.
More than anything you need just someone who can give you some guidance and will just listen to what is going on so that you can get all of this off your chest.
As for the sex and other behaviors, I can "hear" in your voice that you really don't want to do that but it makes you feel accepted. I know that it sounds cliche but those people aren't accepting you but just using you for their own carnal pleasure.
I'm doing my pediatric rotation right now and have to leave for the hospital but I'll ask about services that are available and get back to you if you want. Just drop me a line so that I can get back to you.
Yours,
Arun
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Wow!
I can understand why you are turning to all these other things for comfort.
But like anything the effects only last as long as the moment lasts - then you just feel worse thatn you did in the first place.
I think it would be a really good idea for both you and your Mom to take some time out.
For you because you will have the support there that you need to get back on your feet, and your Mom because it will give her a chance to get herself sorted out and realise how much you mean to her.
I think you should get both of your Moms together, sit down and tell your Mom how you are feeling and that it is not a permanent measure you just need a little time away.
Hopefully you will both come out of it better.
Hope everything works out for you.
Take Care
Mel x
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I think that you taking a 'break' from the family would be a good idea. And what you said about you and ur friends mom and her having a sit down talk with your moms good too. It seems like you need someone to talk about your problems with. Well if you do deside to do that, make sure you mention it at the right time, but soon enough where you can stay away for a while.
Hope everything works out good!
If u needa talk about it or anything else feel free to IM me when ever.
-Nat
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wow it sure is, I'm really sorry, my mom has a boyfriend and she spends more time with him than he does with me and my sisters so I get how you feel about that. Now about telling your mom, you should explain to her first how you feel about your brother and what happened with him, and just tell her how sad you've been about it, and just be calm about it, and just say "Look mom, I'm not doing this to hurt you, but my friend, (so and so) has invited me to stay with her and when I think about it, I feel kind of happy because it could be something to do to get my mind off of it and my friend understands me" (now at this point, she might say "and I don't understand you?" and it sounds like to me she doesn't, so just tell her the truth, and if no is the truth just tell her "I really feel like you don't, but as I said, I'm not doing this to hurt you" and sometimes if you have a family problem, you don't feel comfortable with talking to a family member, I think you just need time out of your house and talking to other people, which she will hopefully understand. And maybe if you talk to your friend, you'll renew your friendship. And make sure you try and convince her that shes not a bad mother, you just need time away from this, which is perfectly ok, you need this. I know its very hard to deal with all of this, but I thinks its time to do something for yourself, you deserve it, really, you do, you need it and deserve it, like you said, you need a break, and thats what you should get. You should also ask your friend's mother to help explain to your mom that you need time away. They'll help you get through it. You can E-mail or instant message me at Evanescence0o01@aol.com (IM:Evanescence0o01) just to talk to me, but it would be nice to get an E-mail telling me how it goes.I hope I helped you, I'm sorry, I really hope you get through this.
-TheTeenGirl
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Well, this is a really tough situation you're in. Your mom doesn't seem to be handling this well at all...if I were in your shoes and I had the option of going somewhere else where someone might care about me, I would go for it. I do suggest going to live with your friend. I can understand the wanting to be loved. Everyone wants that, and deserves it. And you're right, it is hard to get away from the whole sex drugs and drinking thing. If your friend's mom would be a good mother figure, then live with her. Really, you need someone you can look up to, and I strongly encourage getting your friend's mom to talk to your mom. Your mom doesn't seem to understand that she needs to put YOU before everything and everyone else. You should be her top priority all the time, but she doesn't seem to realize that. If your friend's mom could get her to see that (and there's a strong chance of that, as she is another adult, and another mother), then by all means, get them talking. Adults are sometimes better at explaining things to adults than kids are, even if the kids are closer to the situation than the other adult.
So, to summarize my babble, I do suggest you go live with your friend for awhile, and get her mom to talk to yours.
I hope this made sense, and I hope you get this sorted out...if you want more help, or there's anything else I can do, don't hesitate to contact me. This is what I do.
-Siren =)
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Your situation is hard. My first advice to you would be to go to a counselor and try to stay away from drugs, alcohol and sex, and so that the counselor can help you deal with this problem. Even If your best friend offers you a home, you cant stay at her house for years so you got to talk to your mom. It seems as if she doesnt care about what you think. Try to talk to her again, if it doesnt wrok and she goes to her boyfriends place then call her ther and tell her seriously that you are hurt, and tell her all these things, open up to her. If she still acts the way like before then tell her that you are leaving the house and will never come back adn seriously mean it. If you have some money or insurance then you can contact a lawyer or the social service and tell them that your mother isnt doing a good job. If your mom really cares about you she will take you seriously and maybe she will understand but if she doesnt change her ways then you dont need to worry about her thinking thta hse is a bad mom as she showed a act which makes it seems she doesnt care. If you contact the social service and if thye contact your mom, and if they find that your mom is unable to take proper care of you then they can arrange a good family to raise you or they can arrange money for you to finish your education. meanwhile you can stay at your best friends house. Whatver I wrote also depends on how old you are too. becaouse if you stilla rent 14 you might be unable to take these actions. As for your brother, if he really is that way do not contact him, IF he continues to threaten inform the police immediately. Your mother shoudl also know about how he abused you, IF hse cares then she will take action. Hope I helped. Hope you find a way to a better life. :)
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Okay you DEFINITELY need a counselor, someone you can just TALK to...I definitely think the 'going to your friends house' idea will work. That seems like an awesome plan and you should go for it! You could stay there until things get better. Talk it out with your friend because she also seems like shes having problems with HER mom. The four of you (you, your mom, your friend, your friend's mom) could all sit together and talk about it. If all else fails, according to the law, you would need to go to a foster home under the care of someone else, which may not be bad at all for you!! Think about it, it's all up to you. Good luck, and if you need any more help you know where my inbox is! xoxo Give me feedback please =)
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Wow, well right about now, I'd give up on your brother. But about your mom. I think it would be a good idea to have a serious heart-to-heart talk to your mom about all of this and how it has made you feel. You need to let her know that you need her to be home and be with you and show you the love you need. If she wants to be a good mother, she needs to be around enough time to be. She shouldn't have left you to go to her boyfriends but that's over and done with now. Losing your virginity because of the feeling of not feeling loved is another sad consequence of how your mother acts.
I think it would be a good idea to talk to your friend and her mother and your mother about the situation and tell your mother that you want to stay with your friend for a while(if that's what you want to do). Just make it clear that you need to have whats best for you right now. I'm sure that she does care about what's best for you deep down. Before anything though, I'd try talking to her about it and see if you can get the whole situation straightened out. And make sure she's actually listening to you and not letting it go through one ear and out the other. That never helps anything. But if that doesn't work, I think you should stay with your friend and her mom for a while. I really I hope I helped you out. Best of luck!!
Please rate, thanks! :)
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WHOLY CRAP! You sound just like my best friend, who now actually lives with me. Her brother has tons of problems and is in and out of jail.. her and her mother kind of get along, and she is in and out of drugs, sex and stuff like that! her mom just got remarried last yr so family things for her are a very sticky situation. her own dad had an affair with her best friends mom. I can't believe it u sound like my best friend Sarah. But here's the cool thing, my best friend now lives with me. And I absolutely love it. All I can recommed is see if u can move in with a near by friend. ( it change mine and Sarah's life forever) we're absolutely best friends! Good luck and I hope everything gets better. trust in God.
If you need anymore help IM me or e-mail me, I know alot about this kind of stuff, my friends and I have even gone thru it.
please rate. :D
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wow im sorri about your life .. but the good thing is atleast you know that you have to change all of this .. just sit your mom down and be like i need to take kinda a vacation from all this drama and i need to straighten out my own life and get back on the right track and just be like no effence but staying here is just gunna make my life worse and just say how shes a great mother and you love her to death but you need some time to your self and to be alone and all that stuff im sure your gunna do fine just stay away from all the drinking drugs and sex for a while okay? because thats not helping one bit wheather you think it is or not okay im trying to help you as much as i can so i hope i helped alot if you need to talk more IM me on Sweet x Heart 20 and ill talk to you about it or comment back on my advice column alright hunn ? goodluck with everything <33 debbie
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a mother should always put their child before everything. i strongly encourage you to stay at your friends house for awhile, and have her mother speak to your mother. maybe then your mom will understand once hearing it from another adult.. i'm sorry you had to go through whatever you went through, and feeling the way you feel, and i hope things get a lot better for you soon.
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