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Stuck in the Shadows
I'm very overshadowed by my best friend. She's a very flirtatious, outgoing, redheaded vixen and everyone wants to be friends with her. Now, I don't mind it so much, I'm happy that she is well liked by people, but it's the fact that I seem to be getting less and less attention from her every time she meets somebody new. Especially guys. Every guy she meets has had a crush on her. (Except, thankfully, my CURRENT boyfriend...note that I said CURRENT..ex-boyfriends are another story) And often times she has crushes on them, but she still has to complain about them liking her. She seems to treat me like a child and she's the "All-knowing-one", especially when it comes to relationships, and it's really starting to piss me off! She steals my jokes and claims them as her own OFTEN and she says that I'm a bad friend because I once decided to stay with my boyfriend instead of going to hang out with her, while she has ditched me many a time to hang out with guys. (I can think of two instances from just last week.) I'm really bothered by her, yet I remain her friend and most of the time I really don't know why. And I want to talk to her about this, but I've tried before and she always apologizes and then forgets about it two days later.
And when it's just her and I things are fine! We have a great time and everyone's happy and once again I've become the comedian between the two of us, (material she later steals from me to use in front of her flirting victims), but when it comes to boys I'm completly ignored and she's off in the corner creating some sort of drama. It's weird for me, because before I befriended her I was always the center of attention among the group. I was the loud, funny, loving one who everyone wanted to give hugs because I would gladly dish them out. And now it seems like nobody has any time for me because they all want to be with her. Like she's taken all of my friends, but still claims that I'm her best one.
What should I do? I know the most logical thing would be to stop being friends with her, but we've been together for so long and we have most of our friends in common with each other, so there really would be no way to avoid hanging out with her.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Go make some new guy friends and hang out with other friends. Still hang out with her sometimes just not as much.
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OMG!..How Rude of Her!!....well...since youve already tried talking to her try to SCREAM at her And try to get it through her mind that u really want to be friends and how it hurts ur feelings when she does that stuff to you...and if that dont work either just try to find another friend....Hope I Helped!!!!!!! =]
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a friend with two faces eh? theyre never good someone who can completley ignore you in a real day and then try and be your best friend when she feels like it is no good if she puts you down its definitley not good a stick to the friends who are always there for you, not one who wants to be your friend but would rather hav recognition i used to have a friend like that she and i now are not enemies but not as close as we used to be if you try to separate from her gradually it wont be as hard a transition another idea would be to talk to her let her know how your feeling maybe she'll understand and try to lighten it up a bit but sometimes things just arent meant to be
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ok, tell her seriously, i don't like you stealing my jokes and treating me like im invisible. tell her straight up and if two days later she starts doing it again, then tell her u can't be friends with someone who doesn't complete her promises. good luk...
flirty:)
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!!!!!!!!! I Hate REDHEADS!!!!!!!!!!!!
~*L*~
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You should be more like her, she sounds sexy
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Truthfully, it seems like she's is your safety friend and vise versa. You two are probably pulling apart from eachother and your personalities might be clashing. She might be jealous of you like you are jealous of her. Both of you wanting something the other one has. It seems inevitable for you two to have some kind of problems. My only advice is to not cut her out of your life completely, but to slowly distant yourself from her and get other friends you can depend on more and feel happy with. A friend that you can only be happy with when you two are by yourselves doesn't seem like a very good friendship. Also, ignore her drama and call her out sometimes on it. Make her realize that what she is doing is ruining your friendship along with it not being needed. She might not realize what she's doing because noone tells her.
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well i would say that you have a choice to make..
from richer to poorer guys you meet,
who will drop you off your feet..
still one thing girlies come first.
unless they are a bitch.
there i hope you got it
xox manda hope i helped!
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Well you can still be friends with her... but just go and make other friends as well so that she isn't the only friend that you have...
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You need to find some ugly friends so that you will get the attention and they won't.
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I went through the same thing, and I still am. There's no way you just <b>can't</b> be friends with her because if she took all your friends and you ditch her then YOU would be the one with no friends. The next time she ditches you say, see you ALWAYS ditch me for guys and I did it ONCE and you got mad at me! or something of that sort. There's really no way you can avoid hanging out with her. Just keep being friends with her and try to get back the old relationships with your other friends before your friend took them. That way, if things go wrong, you can still try to hang with them.
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if i were in your shoes, which recently i was and i didn't like all that much so i know where you're comming from, i would just stay friends with her. that's how it was with my friend and i. she was my best friend ever and i never thought that her and i could seperate but sadly enough she's not my best friend any more. if you don't like the way she's treating you then hang out with her and all but find some one who you like the way that they treat you or you like the way. your friend to me seems like she cares, just not around guys which, don't get me wrong. guys are great but their not all that great. just find some one who you would rather be with than your friend who isn't the same around guys. hope that all goes well! >Rachel<
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This girl that is your friend i bet you is going threw a stage. SHe thinks she all that, but she will come around and soon enough she will miss u(hopefully. Friend Ship is a hard thing to deal with believe me, so if she keeps ignoring you and less talks to you talk to her online on the phone or something and tell her that you are being left out and you feel that she is ditching you and if that doesnt work i am sorry to say DITCH HER. Please let me know how this all works out.
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wow that's a tough situation. i know what it's like to be with someone who's the center of attention, and you often feel left out and kind of stuck in the corner cause no one notices you. she seems like a person that puts on a fake personality when around other people besides you, becuase you said she's fine around you. some people are so insecure about themselves that they need to be loud and flirty to have a lot of people like them to boost their self-confidence. she seems like the perfect candidate. i wouldnt suggest stopping being friends with her, mainly because you do share most of the same friends, so that would create a little bit of awkwardness in the group. but i would suggest talking to her again, and telling her that you appreciate her appologizing, but that you only want to hear it if she actually means it-if she'll actually try to change. i'd say try to seperate yourself from her a little, but i don't think that will help. maybe try talking to some of your other friends, and see if they feel the same way. you may not be able to see it, but chances are some of them do. and maybe if enough of you feel the same way, you can all talk to her, as a group often makes more of an impact than one person. sorry this wasn't much help, but i wish u the best of luck!
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Wow. That really is a bunch going on between you two. I can almost understand that whole being kicked aside, not loved feeling. It has happened to me once. - I suggest you find a time when both of you are alone, sit her down, un-plug the phone, turn of the television, and shut the door. Tell her what you think about what she is doing. If she reacts unkindly, calmly say to her the you would no longer like to be friends due to the situation, then cut off all relations to her. There is no need for you to put up with someone who does nothing for you.
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