LiLmIsSmE's advice column

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Q: i need help, you see, theres this girl named juli, she desperatly wants to have sex with me. But every time i try and say no, she rips off my clothes and does it with me anyways. I dont know what to do!! Is too much sex unhealthy? Its kind of annoying. We arent even going out!
help!

wow......... if that's happening then just stop talking to them. i mean if you like it then don't worry about it but if you don't then don't hang out with her.
not exactly sure how to answer this but i hope that i helped! hope all goes well >Rachel

Q: I am 14, in ninth grade, and I am female.

Okay, first I'm going to give a little backround information.

I had a boyfriend that tried to cheat on me with his ex girlfriend. I knew that I couldn't trust him ever again, so I broke up with him yesterday. Don't worry, I feel really good about it.

Well, a few days ago, I found out from one of my friends that another friend of mine, Ricky, likes me. At first, I wasn't sure I could trust the friend that told me, T.J., because T.J. is weird like that. Then, my best friend Megan told me yesterday that Ricky has liked me for a long time.

My question is, is it okay to go ahead and date Ricky so soon after dumping my previous boyfriend?

~ClarinetKtM

go out with him hun! if he likes you and you like him then why not? just always remember

break my heart 1 time shame on you
break my heart 2 times shame one me
break my heart 3 times it wasn't meant to be

Hope you the best! >Rachel

Q: Hi, I'm doing a speech on voting. I need a graph of how many people voted during previous election. Could anyone help me??! :/

talk about who most people voted for. talk about why people voted for them. just to little things that you would expect to be in a newspaper or some thing like that. hope i helped! wish you the best >Rachel

Q: I like a girl but shes always been my good friend and we went out b4 she says she doesnt like me but everyone says she does and we have made out alot latley and i dont know if she really does like me or not

hey hun, well the thing is with us girls we like to play it safe (or atleast i do and i know alot of people who do too) and we like to know that some one likes us before we want any thing to happen. if you tell her that you like her then possibly she likes you back! flirt with her some more! make out some more! hope that all works out well for you!tell me how things go! >Rachel

Q: HeY i was just wondering..? do you think 14 is too early to lose your virginity?

hey hun, you're never to young to lose your virginity. you just go with how you feel. of course i'm 14 and many of my friends are 14 are many of my friends are not virgins. if you think that it is to young then don't have sex. but if you think that 14 is right and the way you feel with the guy is right then have your party. just go with how you feel and hopefully things go well.
Hope you the best! >Rachel

Q: Ive been dating my girlfriend for 10 months now. The last few months have been a bit rocky, but things were really starting to get alot better, atleast on my end. Not on hers though. She wants to take a break, because shes starting to fall out of love with me. I don't think there is really anything that I can do to change her mind...its all up to her..She says there is a possibility that things will get better, and that she may fall back in love with me, but I dont really know....Is it possible to fall out of love with someone, then fall back in love with them?

hey hun, it looks like you're going through some pretty hard times. >TRUST ME...< I totally think that you CAN fall out of love then fall back into love. i went out with my ex boyfriend many times. i'm really not sure how many times that we broke up but trust me. i don't really know for sure but every time i see him i still know that i love him just as much as i did before we broke up. he and i had our moments that were good then we also had some that were the most terrible things ever. well i really hope that all goes well for you and your girlfriend! goodluck hun! >Rachel

Q: Ok, I'm a 14 year old teenage girl who seems to like guys with girlfriends, which gets really annoying after awhile and seems to come back to haunt me. Well theres this guy that's on a team that I manage. A High school team. And I really really like him, and I think he likes me and thats what alot of people tell me but he has a girl and I hate it when I'm the reason people break up! It's happened before and I don't want it to happen again. But I like this guy and want to go out with him. What do I do? Thanks Jon

well if you don't want to break them up it's not your fault because the fact that he possibly likes another girl means that the relationship has already gone bad. it's nothing you can prevent from happening and if you were to do any thing more then you wouldn't do any thing to hurt the other girl perpously. possibly talk to him. ask him if what you hear is true. if what you hear is true then tell him that you don't want them to break up because of you. hope that all goes well >Rachel

Q: im a 15/f .. over thanksgiving i did some stuff with my boyfriend. i told one of my really good friends and she is really mad at me now. its not like i had sex with him or anything, and i was ready for what i did. i dont want to have sex w. him either because i want to save that for marriage. and ive told her that many times. but she is still pissed at my actions and doesnt trust me. what can i do to make her see that im not ganna go further then what i feel im ready for, and so that she is not mad at me anymore?

before you talk to her about this situation again let her cool off. she probably doesn't like what you did. if she were a true friend *which i'm getting the feeling ya'll have gone through a wfight or two in the past* she would trust you on this. jshe wouldn't think that it were such a huge deal. 4/5 girls in high school have done things with their boyfriends.maybe she's ust the one of the five that haven't done some thing with her boyfriend. maybe she's just a little more protective of her sexuality or maybe she just wants to protect you. she possibly know's some thing that you don't know. ask her if there is something that she knows about your boyfriend that you don't know about. i really hope that this advice helps you. hope all goes well and works out well. good luck >Rachel

Q: sorry this is so long but i REALLY need ALOT of help...please read it...=(

my friend told me that my boyfriend was cheating on me with TWO other girls..we dont go to the same school but we see eachother ALOT and her cousin goes to his school and said that he has other girlfriends. i love my boyfriend so much and just before she told me all this my boyfriend was on the phone telling me how much he loves me and stuff. i asked his friend about it because hes my really good friend too and he said he didnt know anything about it and he doesnt think my boyfriend would do something like that to me. i dont know. he wasnt home last night when i called so it kind of made me suspicious. i'm going to call him today and ask him about it but i dont know how to ask him. i dont know if i should believe him if he says no either. what if he is? i dont THINK my friend would lie to me, but i never even met her cousin. and lately my boyfriends kind of been blowing me off though to be honest. like hes too busy for me. so i dont know im really confused. i dont know like if he says no im not cheating on you if i should believe him because what if he is? but i dont think he would admit it if he was. not many guys would be like OH YEA I AM CHEATING! you know? please help me..

talk to him about it. tell him that whoever it was taht told you heard that he was going out with two other girls. if you love him so much then let him go and know that if he loves you that he wouldn't ever let anything come between you. hope that i helped! good luck and hope all goes well >Rachel

Q: we just started going out and i have a feeling that he has girls that he flirts with and makes out with and stuff. I know he likes me and i like him so much but i'm affraid he just wants to have sex with me. I cant talk to him about because he gets all touchy.What should i do?

about the other girls thing, talk to him about it. i'm sure that it's not the way that you think it is but bring it up casually. don't just randomly say "i saw you flirtin with another girl" just be like "so am i the only person that you like?"
what i would do if i were in your case is not be around him when he would have the chance to have sex with you. when you and him are around and you feel like he's getting to touchy then just stop and say hmmm lets go some whre and just go to where people are other than just you two.
hope all goes well! >Rachel

Q: i'm 16 and my lil sis is havin her 13th birthday on december 19th.. she is soo pumped and doesnt really have any ideas for one. i threw a surprise for her last year so i dont wanna do that again.. she has a lot of friends and i guess shes one of the popular girls in her school so i want it to be big for her.. any one got any ideas.. cuz im not doing to good and i want this to be the best ever! x33always! me*

just let the party go as it wants maybe at first people could just be hangin out and chit chattin then later mabe their going to *PROBABLY* have some love or hate drama. trust me, there always is. what ever you do DO NOT LET PEOPLE GET ON THE COMPUTER TO TALK ON AIM OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT. that totally ruins partys.

Q: hey um.....i tried to use a tampon b4 and it hurt....BAD. I need help am i doing it right??? HELP!!

sorry hun but this is not uncommon, i remember the first times that i tried a tampon, the first time it wasn't hard at all but then i was thinking about it the second time i did it and i tried my hardest to think about it the way i did it the first time and it hurt! maybe try, if you haven't already try a tampax compax or some thing that has a plastic applicator. hope all goes well! >Rachel

Q: ok well ive been going out with this guy for a while..(im 15 and hes 17). weve talked about sex and we both really want to do it. any advice on how to prepare or anything else? thank you!

well how long is a while? i was recently in a relationship and it is over now. well while we were going out on the second day we made out, i know not a big deal. the thing is is that he was my second kiss. i liked him so much and my friends were there. but every time i would stop kissing him it seemd like he didn't want to stop and he'd just keep going for it. well my parents were here when we did that stuff and 3 of my friends were too. well after a while about 6 days later he was over at my house and it was just my brother and i and him home my brother and i are pretty close so he didn't care what we did but the guy i was going out with wanted to take my virginity away and i didn't want him to. it just didn't feel right it was just to sacred to me and i don't want it taken away by some one who it's not right. so what i'm trying to get at is if you feel that it's right then go on! have your party but BE SAFE! USE A CONDOM!:-D >Rachel

Q: I'm very overshadowed by my best friend. She's a very flirtatious, outgoing, redheaded vixen and everyone wants to be friends with her. Now, I don't mind it so much, I'm happy that she is well liked by people, but it's the fact that I seem to be getting less and less attention from her every time she meets somebody new. Especially guys. Every guy she meets has had a crush on her. (Except, thankfully, my CURRENT boyfriend...note that I said CURRENT..ex-boyfriends are another story) And often times she has crushes on them, but she still has to complain about them liking her. She seems to treat me like a child and she's the "All-knowing-one", especially when it comes to relationships, and it's really starting to piss me off! She steals my jokes and claims them as her own OFTEN and she says that I'm a bad friend because I once decided to stay with my boyfriend instead of going to hang out with her, while she has ditched me many a time to hang out with guys. (I can think of two instances from just last week.) I'm really bothered by her, yet I remain her friend and most of the time I really don't know why. And I want to talk to her about this, but I've tried before and she always apologizes and then forgets about it two days later.

And when it's just her and I things are fine! We have a great time and everyone's happy and once again I've become the comedian between the two of us, (material she later steals from me to use in front of her flirting victims), but when it comes to boys I'm completly ignored and she's off in the corner creating some sort of drama. It's weird for me, because before I befriended her I was always the center of attention among the group. I was the loud, funny, loving one who everyone wanted to give hugs because I would gladly dish them out. And now it seems like nobody has any time for me because they all want to be with her. Like she's taken all of my friends, but still claims that I'm her best one.

What should I do? I know the most logical thing would be to stop being friends with her, but we've been together for so long and we have most of our friends in common with each other, so there really would be no way to avoid hanging out with her.

if i were in your shoes, which recently i was and i didn't like all that much so i know where you're comming from, i would just stay friends with her. that's how it was with my friend and i. she was my best friend ever and i never thought that her and i could seperate but sadly enough she's not my best friend any more. if you don't like the way she's treating you then hang out with her and all but find some one who you like the way that they treat you or you like the way. your friend to me seems like she cares, just not around guys which, don't get me wrong. guys are great but their not all that great. just find some one who you would rather be with than your friend who isn't the same around guys. hope that all goes well! >Rachel

Q: ok. i dont really know how to deal with this whole situation.
I like this guy..but i dont wanna even say anything to him b/c i have been there before with him. He would be really childish and rub it in my face later if hes not "into me" then. hes really sweet and ALL the other stuff. but i know later on (months ahead) he will just use it against me. hes the -Flirt with everyone- type. Does anyone have ANY ideas to get anything out of him

maybe this guy likes so many girls that he doesn't want to tell you. maybe you can get some of your friends and just him or the girls that you think that he doesn't like much to go do something toghether then if he doesn't like them much but he likes you he'll want to stay with you and while ya'll are together ya'll could flirt or what not then just casually ask him if he likes any one that he's been with over the night. let me know how it goes!

Q: my garbage cans do not fit under my sink in the kitchen, so we leave them to the side. What are some good things tht I can do to them to 'hide' them, because they look really ugly just standing out in the open. I want to make them look nicer. Thanks!

what i would do if i were in your situation is i would just take the trashcan and if you have a pantry or some thing of the sort put it in there! but if not then just leave it to the side of the counter or if you don't like the way it looks there is always the factor of painting it or just buying a new one that would go with your kitchen! good luck! hope all goes well!

Q: theres this guy and i really like him alot. and i think he likes me too. i dont know if i should wait till he asks me out or if i should ask him out. i really like him alot im like in love with him. what should i do? he seems to like me but im not sure if he likes me like i like him. should i take my chance and ask him out? or should i wait till he asks me out?

if you really like this guy and you think that he likes you to then wait! if he likes you then i'm sure that he'll ask you out maybe talk to him about who he likes and if he says that he likes you then just say "i like you too" but if not then don't get bummed out about it, he wasn't good enough for you anyways you'll find a great guy soon enough.

bio

i'm happy like all the time.... i love hanging out with my friends and my guy friends feel free to ask me any thing i'm open to alot of people. i'm only not open if i don't feel comfortable with them. let me know how things go (after my advice if you use it.) i love to hear back from people and i love meeting new people! if you ever want to just talk to me i'm open for discussion about any thing. luv ya'll