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My girlfriend was raped :( (this is long)
I wasn't sure what category to put this under by recently my girlfriend / best friend and I just lost our virginity to each other. It was amazing. But then the next night, I get a phone call from her brother saying to go the hospital because my girlfriend's just been raped...by her father. I didn't know what to do, so i just froze and went after her father. I beat the crap out of him and broke my hand. I know that wasn't smart but what he did to her was less smart. He's been abusing her since about the age of 4, I was one of the few people who knew this. She didn't want ANYONE telling the police because her father threatened her. And she didn't want to run away and leave her little sister with her father for fear he might hurt her too.
Well anyway, back on topic, her father went to jail and everyone testified against him. So he'll be in there for a LONG time. My problem is, my girlfriend is still in shock over this. We tried to have sex a few weeks later but she was so scared and still thinks about the rape. I'm not frustrated about the no-sex part AT ALL believe me. But what I'm wondering is if there's anything I can do for her to make her get over this. I want her to be happy again. I love her with all my heart and hate seeing her like this.
Any girls who have been raped, you could probably help me most on this. How did you get over it? Thanks SO much!
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First off I'm very sorry to hear this happened. Second, every on heals at a different pace. She may be over it in a few years, but she also may never move on,The best thing you can do for her right now is give her her space- physically, but support her emotionally. Dont ask her any questions about it, that's what a consular is for. But if she comes to you about it, listen to what she says, and be kind. The most important part of this though is the support. Let her know you are there to talk. Tell her you love her all the time. Hope that this helped, Grace
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My advice to you is that 4rm the way u were just one of the few she trusted with such a serious thing takes alot but all i can tell u is that confort her and if she's in need of something just give it to her all ways be on her bout things and about you and the no sex you're just going to have to start from base one only this time there's going to be alot of challenges but now in days there's alot of therapy and counseling for those type of things and those work too but it's all up to you and her !im only here to give advice you just take it or leave it! good luck :)
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Hey dude,
Thats totally fucking bullshit i would have kicked the father's ass too dude. i probably would have killed him. but anyway i dunno just go to counslying with her talk to her about it or somethin.
sorry i know i'm probably not much help
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Hi I'm so sorry about your girlfriend. You just have to make sure that she knows your there for her any time she needs you.You have to let her know shes safe and that he will never ever hurt her again. I don't think there is anything else you can do.
Don't feel responsible for any of it. You were just keeping her secret safe. None of it is your fault.
~*~kris~*~
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Hey, Im really sorry about your girlfriend... just whatever you do.. dont leave her side. She obviously needs you right now. She may say everything is fine.. im ok.. but shes not she needs someones hand.. and that hand is yours.
I don't really think she should go to a stranger (couselour) right away and express all her feelings. Shes gonna need you... none of this is any of your fault in ANY way.. just hang in there and eventually everything is gonna work out and she will be able to move on.. hope I helped
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Trust me im a girl and we are emotional! dont try to have sex with her right after all this! just talk to her and be there for her and tell her its all right and that you dont have to worry about him hurting her anymore because hes in jail! just make her feel protected! this is a biiig deal and wait MORE than just a couple of weeks to try to have sex! actually you would have to wait more like a couple of months and let her make the desision of when she wants to, dont rush her! I would say dont have sex till ur married, but its ur life not mine. Hope i helped!
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wow i mean that story is so sad. I think you should try to be there for her, rape can mess a a woman up physicly, emotinaly and most of all mentalley. It might take her months to get over it but if you stick with her, she might want to talk and talking it out can make a person feel better about a sittueation or incident. You should let her know most of all that your there for her when ever she needs you.
I hoped i helped
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I'm soo sorry about your girlfriend. That's really sad. I have not been raped before, but came close to it. Really, stuff like this comes as a hugge shoc to girls. This cant be overcomed by doing things for her, she has to realize that it is over and that now it cant happen anymore. If you just tel her that, maybe shell understand a bit more. A girl wants her guys to understand her, and to have patiencce for her. Dont try to rush things out of her mind because then that gives one more thing to focus on, and she doesnt need that.
It was nice giving you advice, Hope all gets better. Bye!:)
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im only 12( :-)hehe) but..last year i helped to counselor at my skool..and there was mayb one or 2 cases..not sure tho..if shes too embarassed to tell someone like a counselor..jus talk to her..let her talk if and when she wants..but if she duznt argue..id say try to see a counselor..
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You don't get entirely over it. Eventually you aim your anger at the correct person at best. She really needs counseling and a shoulder to cry on. There will be all sorts of issues for awhile yet. It will be sort of like grieving. Hopefully, she gets help and it doesn't color her relationships to the point that she isn't happy.
It is not your fault. You didn't make him do this. It will take a while for her to feel better. She is fortunate to have you help her through this terrible incident.
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wow... this is the saddest story i have ever heard. dont feel like its ur fault for her being raped.. its NOT ur fault. her dad needs to be in jail for the rest of his fucking life.. thats sick shit. it will take her a while to get over it so dont pressure her into having sex anytime soon. when shes ready, she'll tell you.
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ok, well stop having sex with her first of all. thats just not going to help the problem at all what so ever in the history of helping out a rape victem. She's going to be scared for a very very long time. please don't break up with her, that would be earth shattering for her.
tell her you love her with all your heart. she's going to definately want to hear that. don't do anything sexual, but letting her cry on your shoulder and hugging is probably as far as you should go for a while. You NEED to be there for her, which i'm sure you already are. let her call you at all hours so on and so forth.
maybe even taking her to therapy might help her. like a school counciler or something. any one. she might need help after something as tramatic as that.
you're not responcible, though i understand why you would feel that way. you are not the one who raped her, so you can't be responcible. the only person who is responcible is her father.
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All you can do to help her get through this is be with her all the time. Be there if she needs a shoulder to cry on, or needs someone to talk to. And I give you SO SO SO many props for beating up her dad! I'm really sorry about this..you guys are in my prayers!
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wow i am SO sorry. that's terrible. i would just constantly try to make her feel better. be there for her all the time, talk to her, buy her nice things or whatever (it comes from the heart) and just give her time. there's not really much you can do. once again i am so sorry, i wish i could help, but i'll keep you, your girlfriend, and her family in my prayers...
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you totally did the right thing, i would to the same. i guess i would just wait until she says shes ready, so you dont seem like you're pressuring her.
dont feel responsible, it isnt your fault.
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