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Q: hi i'm 14 nearly 15 (girl btw), i've been with my bf for two months. i really like him and trust him with anything,we were good friends before we started dating an he knows everything about me and has even seen me in just my underwear. last week we met after school and went for a walk in the woods, we sat down for a while and cuddled, we started making out and he fingered me and i tossed him off... i feel like i am ready to go further than that but i don't know if i'm too young or not, do you think i am too young?
thanks x

First, congratulations. You are with someone you like and have been friends with and more importantly who knows you in and out and has that level of understanding with you.

Now,another fact. Guys are horny and they will try to take it to the next level when they get a chance. Especially if you are the girlfriend. Now, if you feel like it's wrong, or if your guts say it's wrong and alarm you when that kind of situation occurs. Don't let him do it. But, at the same time, he should know it's not because you don't like HIM doing these things, it's because you think it's not the right time or the right stage to take it to the next level.

Best solution will be to talk it out. Tell him how you feel. If he understands you which I think he will, woah! you have struck the gold mine! It's great and go ahead and date him further.

If he says give it a shot or tries to force you into it or something to that effect, he's not worth your love or time

Either way, just go ahead communicate and be open about your feelings. tell him!!

Good luck!

Q: so my boyfriend and me have been going out for 5 months now. and we never fight its great. cause were both really chill :) .... but .... :( **iam 16 years old btw. (female)
(now i kknow this is going to sound bad please dont judge it just happen.... i feel aweful and i regret it but please dont judge with what i am about to say.)

--> so i really do love and care for him and he tells me he feels the same way. but his personality is always humor not to serious just likes to joke and have fun which i dont mind i find it amusing :p and im kinda the same so it works great. but last night i was sleeping over at his friends house with him and we were all in his friends bed. (me, my boyfriend and his friend) and were all pretty close haha but jokingly to piss off / amuse his friend as a joke me and my boyfriend started having sex. in the bed. and his friend lying right there (dont judge i know it sounds bad) but to be honest i only do this stuff cause he tells me to and i just wanna make him happy. i will admit im kinda whipped. but anyways so then as a joke he told his friend to join in. and hes always joked about 3 some. / sharing me (jokingly) and we had something like this happen before but not that bad just kiss. (same guy) as a dare. with him there. and so anyways he kept telling me to. and they both kept telling me to and to be honest i felt really pressured. and so i gave in. at first it was like jokingly i let him fuck me. :( with my boyfriend right there in the bed. and i just did it cause i felt pressured to by them. and my boyfriend just laughed at first and made little comments. then lied there and \"slept\" per say but i know he was awake but i dont know why i let his friend keep going. i honestly just didnt know what to say i wanted it to stop but i didnt have the guts to stop him. i was frozzeen. i didnt enjoy his friend at all i just wanted to be with my boyfriend. :( anyways i think this time it made him mad. cause he left the room. got up and walked out. and i was left there with his friend . and his friends like i think he cares this time... im like well then why did he tell me to? :( ugh!!! anyways i got up and left to and went to the couch away from them both and just cried all night. think im stupid and just fucked up how could i let this happen. now hes mad :/ which isnt what i wanted i really love and care for him i just wanted to make him happy. not mad. i did what he said i went along with his joke. and anyways his friend told me this ....
\"yeah he never admits to liking you and or any of his girlfriends and he wont ever admit it to us cause he just is hiding his emotions but i can tell as his bestfriend he really does care and like you cause of what he got you for christmas and the fact that what we just did effected him (it apparently never effected him in the past) but he must really like you cause he never spends money on his girlfriends and in the past hes onlydated a girl about a month or two and they fight all the time and we have been together 5 (almost 6) months and no fighting. and the fact he is moody and u effect his moods shows he cares.

(but the next morning he just walked by and left the house. he didnt say goodbye or anything to me....)

so basically im just asking. was last nights incident proof that he cares about me cause it effected him to see me with another guy? cause it never used to effect him apparently when he had a 3some in the past. and is what his friend saying true? or did i just fuck up and loose a guy i really care about :( i dont know what to do. or should i dump him cause he is treating me like a trophy and has no respect for me? :/ :( like i dont know what to think anymore. i do not want to loose him though cause all our friends are the same. i just dont know if im being treated like a trophy and used. or if he really cares and hes just starting to show it. please help :( sorry for it being so long :/

Do something for your own sake.

DUMP this guy. Forget about him completely and throw him out of your life.

He is a jerk. Sorry to be harsh, but you need to know that. He is doing nothing with you in the name of being 'in a relationship' except exploiting you. He sees you as a sex toy, not a date. You are being gullible and he is taking advantage of that.

THIS INCIDENT has to be like a wake up call. wake up, girl! Wake up to your gut feeling about this guy that he is using you. Wake up to this gut feeling which is trying to warn you. wake up to your conscious that made you cry about the incident.

Look around you and assess the situation for what it is. How is it making you feel? Are you happy? Are you satisfied with the relationship as it is? Most likely not, meaning you need to start thinking about whether this relationship is worth it.

AND IT IS NOT!!!

Guess what? There are plenty of guys who would make you smile , like you for what you are, and love you truly, and NOT mistreat you by making fun of you and laughing at you and pressurizing you to have sex with his friend!!!

Here is what you need to do:

1. Reclaim your self respect, stand for your own self and write a last note/ e-mail/ text telling this guy that he is a swine and you would never like to hear from him. ask him to go away and fuck himself. Tell him that you know that he's not sorry for what he did to you and tell him clearly THAT he doesn't deserve you or your forgiveness.

2. IGNORE him completely: don't reply to texts, his calls, he may try to hurt you by saying you bad things and blah blah, but whatever happens, do not carry on the conversation with him. IGNORE him totally.

3. Find some new guy. Or if you can't, hang out with your real friends/ your family. Have ice cream, have fun, like nothing happened. Have a positive attitude and move on. Remember, You have learnt a great lesson in your life.

4.Remember, you are a beautiful person and there is someone made for you, and you will find that guy soon.

5. Don't let this guy ruin your life: get rid of him asap, and don't even let his thoughts enter your mind. Find something to distract yourself like a productive acitivity/ good music/ cool place/ good book.

6. Guys who don't respect girls DO NOT deserve girls. Believe in yourself, don't think about what happened and don't let the past ruin your present.

If he ever tries to contact you, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT entertain him. If you want, send him a text asking him to fuck himself.

You don't give pearls to swines. He is a swine. do not waste you love, time, care, thoughts or forgiveness on this swine.

Love and respect yourself.

Best wishes.

Q: I was introduced to a guy who is sweet, charming, good looking, and just overall a good guy. We have been texting each other a lot for the last few days, and have been laughing for most of it.
He says I'm really pretty, and that I have amazing eyes, and an interesting personality. We are going to go to the Bowling Alley with friends on Sunday so we can get to know each other, but were just playing "Truth or Dare" over phone. He asked me "What do you look for in a prospectual boyfriend" and I replied "A Best friend pretty much; someone who will be with me through rough times, and through good times" He said "I think I'm all of that" and continued to say "That's good to know" with a wink face ;) Do you think he's interested in me? Or is interested in asking me out?

I would just like to know what his possible intentions are :)

haha.He is definitely interested in you and can possibly ask you out very soon. And it seems you like him too. If I were you, I would initiate and ask him out on a date ;) after I get to know him a little more, of course.

Best wishes. :)

Q: Hi!!I'd like to know how to trust someone you love again when you have realized that they keep on lying to you. THANKS

You shouldn't even be around someone who is not honest, let alone dating! You should not trust someone like that ever.
I would suggest you question directly to that someone about what you feel he/she is lying. Just to make sure you are right about your feeling abot lying, talk it out and try to find out, becuase it might just be a misunderstanding.
But if you are damn sure, don't be with that person because you never can gain trust again. Without trust, there can be no sort of relationship.

Hope it helped a bit.

Q: 20/M

My whole life I've been very sheltered. I have very few friends and I'm not that close to my family. I had 4 girlfriends before I was 18. The longest relationship I had lasted almost a year. I've been single for 2 years now.

I'm a virgin, even though I'm great at pleasuring girls sexually in all other ways.
I've been told a lot that I'm quite attractive, with an athletic body. My family is very wealthy, and I have plenty of money. I have a genius IQ and am going to a university (still living at home) and studying in cognitive neurochemistry and biotechnology. I have traveled the world, and have great social skills, and can make people laugh really easily. But I just don't have any close friends. The friends I do have are all nerdy guys who have never touched women.

I don't really have any friends at college. I tried online dating, but it made me kinda feel like a loser because I cant find a girl in real life to be with, plus meeting in person for the first time might be awkward. The women I go out with have all been emotionally abusive as well, which makes me even more reluctant to really try to get into a relationship because I feel like I'm just going to be treated like I'm worthless for the 10th time.

I just don't know how or where to meet people to be honest. Would you consider online dating to be kind of pathetic? I don't like parties, not that I know enough people to be invited to them. I'm too young to go to bars. And I'm not interested in any school or community clubs.

People always tell me "just go out and meet people go to parties and stuff lol", but I'm just not built that way. Is there something wrong with me? All the girlfriends I have had I met in high school or driving school. Now that I'm not around girls that often, I have no chance of getting a girlfriend, never mind a good one.

What do I do? The only time I really feel happy and satisfied is when I have been in relationships, even bad ones. I'm happy with myself, I just hate being so alone all the time.

Oh, Hi! I am single and 19 ;)

Kidding, kidding. :)

All right. One thing I have learnt over the years is the importance of breaking out of your comfort zone, regularly. And realized that the fear and inner resistance becomes smaller and smaller, when you are regular at it.

I would suggest that you break out of your comfort zone as soon as possible. You will experience and learn new things, and it will bring to you happiness, confidence, and satisfaction, and something you so badly want, your girl.

Now, you think you are young to go to a bar.

You don't want to go to a
party.

You say no to community clubs.

Face it: You don't want to step out of your comfort zone.

Trust me, it will bring you no good. YOU have the power to change it, so do it! It will not only help you get over your social anxiety but it is crucial for your growth too.

1. Do you fear going to a pub? Then do it! Take that first step. No, my friend, 20 is not young. You are not 'young' but a young adult. The reason you dont wanna go there is because you fear being uncomfortable, and socially awkward. Find a friend who would accompany you, and just go! You might just meet a girl who would be interested in knowing you.

2. What would do you like to do? Reading? Music? Gym? Sports? Any hobby? If yes, then go join the online forum or club. But I suggest you join real clubs, because only then you will find people who have common interests FOR real. YES, you got to take small steps towards breaking out from that comfort zone, it is essential and the best way you will find that girl. Usually online dating doesn't work out and from experience I say, you find fake people and high chances that you will be mistaken about them. No, it is not pathetic, but it definitely is not the best way out.

3. So, you go to study at a university? why not interact with people more? High chances you will find your girl there itself! It will also help you gain more self esteem and inner satisfaction.

4. Why so insecure?

'The only time I really feel happy and satisfied is when I have been in relationships, even bad ones.'

You don't wanna go out to places 'looking for' a girl. This will make you feel low in terms of self esteem. Come on, you have to first feel secure about yourself and not be someone who 'needs' a girl.

You are attractive. Genius IQ. You are a wonderful person, so stop being insecure to that extent that you even like bad relationships.

I am single and happy. I don't 'need' someone for company. But I know when I find the right guy and feel good about it, I would go for it.

Essentially you NEED to step out of your comfort zone, unless you want your life to be stagnant and the same. For that change, GO OUT, try something unusual and overcome your fears.

Wish you the best. Hope it helped a bit. :)

Q: I just lost a good friend of mine...skateboarding was his life. He was born to skate, lived to skate, and died skating. He was the most amazing guy ever. He was friends with everyone, no matter who you were. He would do anything for anyone too. Three days ago he was skateboarding and his board went out in the middle of the street. He ran after it and was struck by a pickup truck. He was in a coma for 2 days and then they did some brain tests and he failed them. He wa s brain dead. He was only 14 yrs old. I know hes in a better place now...probably skateboarding(: ...but i just dont know what to do )': i miss him like crazy...i just wish i could be with him in Heaven..a place where theres no more goodbyes "/ ...what should i do?

Firstly let me tell you I was in a similar situation as you, some days back. I lost my uncle who was the only relative I liked, a fatherly figure who was an amazing person. He was in coma, he died of brain hemorrhage. My cousin told me about it, and I started to cry like crazy. I was not with my family, but in my hostel since I have to live at the hostel, my law school being fully residential. I cried and cried, and didn't even prepare for moot court competition. I couldn't even see his face once last time, because he was cremated very early.

Let me tell you what I learnt:

1. It is always better to cry, because in such a situation, suffering is unavoidable and crying gets all the heartache out, easily.

2. You should release your emotions, for example write them down somewhere, whatever you are feeling. I wrote it down, in the form of short liners and short poems. You could just write on one paper, anything and everything you feel.

3. Now, you should appreciate meeting the person and having him in your life.

4. Be with your family and friends, it is always better to be with them, so that you get to know and feel that you are not alone.

5. Support his family, it is the greatest loss for them.

6. Just For him, cheer up: Like a tribute, cheer yourself up, because he used to make you happy, it will be a mark of respect if you smile and make yourself and others around you happy.

7. Engage in activities that make yourself happy, because you can't just be lamenting for his loss all the time, and make yourself and people around who are alive, sad and worried.

Smile. :)

Hope it helped a little.

Q: My boyfriend and I have been going out for about five months. He is my best friend. He showers me with love, makes me laugh constantly, and is my personal diary. I could talk to him for hours and never get bored. It's like I have everything I could ever ask for in him. He always makes me feel so happy. We spend most of our time together, but we've given each other space since the holidays are around and I need to spend some time with my family.

Lately, I have been feeling very down about the whole relationship. I feel like I'm bringing him down. I'm very sensitive and I get very touchy about some of the things he says, even if it's just a joke. I get upset over stupid things, like when he came over early as a surprise. I was really mad and I got very bitchy. Most of the time recently, the things he does that I'd usually find funny or touching, I suddenly find it unappealing. I don't even know why. I know for a fact I would go insane without him, because he's pretty much everything to me. My family is very hard on me and I don't have a lot of friends, so he is basically my world. Last night I called him and told him to break up with me because I feel horrible. He does everything he can to please me and goes out of his way just for me, yet I get upset and bitchy over EVERYTHING. I hate this feeling. I know he deserves better. But every time I tell him that, he's like, "No, I love you and I'm going to fight for you, and I will fix this. You deserve me, I bet there's not any other girl that treats me as nice as you do, you're out of my league..blah blah blah." I'm very touched by this and my tears all fade but then the next day I feel like complete shit because I am taking him for granted. I want out because of it, but at the same time, he tries so hard to fix things and I just don't have the will to make it work. I'm just confused and emotional and scared. I feel like one day he'll reach his breaking point because I'm so neurotic. He is always assuring me because I've been hurt so badly by guys in my past. Why can't I just ever sit back and enjoy this? I say I'd fight for him but when it all comes down, I just don't want to. I just want him to give up on me. I love him with all my heart but I just think things are crashing down fast for us. He believes in me, but I don't believe in myself. I can't break from this depression.

I'm sorry if I seem like a selfish idiot to you. I'm just a teenager, I'm only sixteen and I've never had such a good relationship before like I have now, and I don't know what to do about it. I'm happy one day, then depressed the next day. Am I just being emotional or is something really wrong? What do you think I should do? I'm not myself at all.

I second xChaos and rate the answer a 5/5.

There is nothing wrong with you, girl.
1. Chill. Come on, you have everything you have always wanted. Take a deeep breath and smile :)

2. Oh, if you don't believe in yourself, how can you believe not believing in yourself, eh?

3. You are going erratic and whimsical probably because, it happens with teenage girls. Welcome to adolescence. You don't need to worry about it, it's very normal and will go off very very soon.

4. Now, you being insecure..PLEASE stop thinking so much! Guys like easy going girls, be that! :)
Stop that mental chatter going on in your head right away, it is not you, but your mind talking. You have the power to stop it, so DO IT!

5. Engage yourself in activities that you like. It will not only boos your self confidence but help you overcome your fears, insecurity and make you feel fulfilled and accomplished.
Activities that are productive: like reading/writing/music/sports/quizzing/anything you like to do.

6. Insecurity is caused by guess what? Worries. Self created and destructive.
How to deal with it:
a. get a notepad: write down whatever is going on in your head.
b. Do it for a week, a couple of times every day when you feel stressed out or worried.
c. Read whatever you have written, what is the area about which you worry a lot? I am guessing it would be your relationship.
d. Write down positive and negative feelings,and thoughts about your relationship and also the most favourable ones(how you would like it to be)
e. When you find yourself worrying about the same thing, read the positives' list and re-read and feel good about it.
f. Keep this list on hand and re-read whenever you feel low about your relationship.

This process will train your mid to appreciate the positives, and hope for more positive feelings, actions, events and outcomes about you and the guy. and will reduce your worrying.

7. When you go to bed, appreciate the good things that happened to you during the day and feel good about it. This will attract more and more good things to you with regard to the relationship. DO NOT think about the bad things, instead when a thought about the bad event pops up, replace it with the thought of HOW you wanted the event to be, and FEEL that it will happen. Or maybe you could just REPLACE that thought with thought of any good thing that happened during the day.

8. Mantras (Affirmations) : For example in your case you would say aloud to youself:
I am a beautiful person, I have a guy who loves me deeply, I want to love him, and be with him.

Repeat this mantra ALOUD everytime you feel low and everytime a negative thought pops up in your head.
Now, even if you feel it's not true, FEEL like you are experiencing the positive outcomes you desire with complete disregard to previous negative worries you've had in the past.

It will help change your mindset and beliefs about the negative events/ feelings and bring more positive events to you with regard to your relationship.

9. The best thing is that YOU KNOW that your worry is without reason, it is unjustified. Use your relationship history to remind yourself that your guy is simply wonderful and any bad event wrt your relationship is VERY unlikely to occur so shouldn't be worried about.

10. Communicate freely with your guy, from what you say I think he is someone who is understanding, kind and caring. He would definitely be very happy to listen and help you out.

11. Practice meditation. You will gain mental strength, calmness of mind and feeling of happiness and contentment within yourself.
Read this -> http://www.how-to-meditate.org/breathing-meditations.htm/

Hope it helped.

Stop worrying! It is self destructive.

Be positive. :)

Q: I just started to talk to this guy and he keep's going me hints that he likes me but i don't like him, how do i tell him i don't like him but i would like to stay friends...what should i do?

Well, I've been through it. But I had to get rid of this ''friend'' of mine. Guess, why? Because I did not want negativity in my life. This guy got on my nerves, and you l be surprised to know once we were great friends.
So, if you go to this friend and tell him openly and clearly, that you don't like him that way, and IF he is a good, understanding person, and a real friend to you, He will understand.
If I were you, and this guy, after me telling that I don't like him romantically, still asks me out, I would at least go out on a date because he is a friend to me, and I would do this for nothing else but his happiness.

You could say a categorical no, and tell him you want to be great friends with him.

Hope it helped a little.

Wish you the best :)

Q: So the dream starts out like this...

I take my older sister to go meet my bf, and when we get their, I introduce them to eachother and my bf keeps ignoring me, like we were laying on the ground..and he kept rolling over and facing my sister. Then I said "hey, why don't we go on a walk"? And my bf said, "I was just going to ask your sister that", so we went on a walk on the trail, and their was a random fair going on. Me and my bf kept holding hands through the whole place until he went into this 'build a carebear' place. He then came out and gave the carebear to me. It said ' i love khaty' on it,the thing is...my name isnt khaty...He sopposibly got mad because I didn't make him one and said we should all go home. On the way home, their was a train coming on the tracks. So I decided to be stupid and stood on the tracks, I turned my head and faced my sister for a meer second when the trin was about 5 feet from me. I immediatley jumped off the tracks, it barely missing me. The thing is..when it went past, it looked more like a truck on the railroad tracks than a train. So then we decided to go back to the fair. When we got their, my bf was still pissed at me for not making him a carebear (LOL). We all 3 had to be sqwished togther so we could make it through the crowd. My bf nudged me in the ribs for me to hold his hand. I then grabbed his hand and began to walk out of the crowd. We all went back to his house and I layed ontop of him because he was ignoring me for my sister again.

Then I woke up.
The next dream kinda dealed with the same thing...but not really...

So we were outside in our little swimming pool when i got out. I realized I had no top on. So I went and sat down by our garden. My neighbor then emptied her pool in the direction of our house, my sister was the only one that got hit. Then my bf appeared in my neighbors window along with my neighbor (they are both 15) spying on me because I had no top on. I covered my top parts with my hands and ran behind bushes so that they couldn't see me.

Then I woke up...

Soo...can anyone tell me what this means?? Because a few days ago, I jokingly asked my bf if he spies on me (cuz everytime I go over to his house, as soon as I get their..without me even knocking, he comes out on the porch) he said "yup, I spy on you all the time" in a joking mannor. Could that have to deal with him in my second dream with my neighbor spying on me?? I'm scared that from the first dream to introduce my sister to my bf, cuz we have been talking about it and she wants to meet him. I'm afraid that she will get inbetween me and him (he is 15, I'm 13, and my sister is 14) because she is closer to his age than I am, and and prettier than me. So I think once I do introduce them, that she will steal him from me...what do you guys think? Me and my bf have only been datung for a few days, and I think that my sister could esily take him from me. WHAT SHOULD I DO??, and what do these dreams mean?? Please help!!

All right. So first let me tell you that you are overthinking, quite a bit. Dreams, I agree have some sort of significance and wide interpretations, but they are, what I feel, (most dreams) like cleaning agents, which clean up your mind attempting to make it free of negative thoughts, worries, fears and anxities, or whatever is unwanted.

Now, if you want to believe in the Freud theory, dreams are manifestations of our deepest desires and fears.

Coming to your dream, what I think is you are getting INSECURE about your guy. You believe that your sister is prettier and more compatible (the age factor) Let me tell you, it is YOUR belief. Not your guy's, not mine, Yours. YOU have the power to change it, you being the master of your mind, have all the capacity to do it.

See, you love your guy an he loves you. So, Why bring in unnecessary worry? negative feelings and thoughts? Only you can stop it from growing in your mind. So, STOP IT NOW!

Guys like girls who are confident about themselves. BE Confident, feel good about yourslef. You are pretty, have a guy that loves you, have a sister that likes you.! Why worry unnecessarily so as to ruin not only your relationship with that guy, but also with your sister?

Think about it.

Feel good about yourself and this will make your guy feel good about being with you. Give him love. But firstly love yourself! Love youself, and you will get love from him, from your sister and from others.

Wish you the best :)

Q: So I'm a13 year-old girl, and I want a good way to give my guy a boner. We have been dating for 4 months (soon to be 5), so the touch barrier is broken. That doesn't mean I really want to give him a hand-job though. Thanks for the help. :)

If you really want to make out, and are comfortable with it,

1.Initiate by kissing him on the cheek, cuddle him up in your arms and give him a smoochie. He would get turned on.

2.Talk sexy ;) Guys like girls who are assertive and confident and open. Simoly hug him tightly and run yiur hands all over him. He is likely to gte turend on.

3.Sit on his lap and run your hands over him going down there. He is most likely to get a boner ;)

Hope it helped a bit.

Q: I used to go out with this guy. We had an amazing relationship. We bearly fought about anything,talked to each other about everthing, spend time together, and we got soo closed to the point that I knew what he was thinking before he even told. Its very easy to talk to him because he understands me so I never feel like I have to explain myself, are personalities are alot alike. But during our relationship we had some problems with people accepting us being together, since he's 7 years older then me, so they thought he was using me because of my inexperience things began to get weird between us, right during that time i went on vacation for a whole month, thinking that the time away from him was going to benefit turns out, that when i came back he was done with me, and I never heard from him, and he never tried reaching me knewing that I was back.... Six months have passed and I still have the same feelings I had since I met him, I love him more then anything I would give anything to find out what happend that made him abandon me. then a few days ago he finally contacts me though facebook and gives me his number because he wanted to talk to me. When I texted him he asks why I never reached him, then he calls to explain what happend, and tells me he still has feelings for me and would like to see me and apologize, when he tells me all of this I couldnt be any happier. He finally comes over and he apologizes and I ask him what his intentions are with me, and he seems very unsure, i told him i didnt want a friendship with him, or be a bootycall, I told him that I was willing to forgive him and i would love to make things work again and have a serious long lasting relationship with him, I told him if thats not what he wanted then he could just forget about me because I already felt better once I found out what really happend between us. When I told him what I wanted he says that he would like to atttempt things again and take things slow, and start with a new beginning, because i know him so well, I dont think hes ever taken anything slow and I feel like he doesnt want the same thing I want. I dont know what to do I dont want to feel like im pressuring him, but i dont want to wait around for ever. I love him, but im scared that hes going to break my heart again. I dont want to relive what I went through, but I dont want to be away from him...please help i know this is long, but i feel like no one understands what im going through, and please dont tell me thers other fish in the sea.

Firstly, let me tell you one thing I have learnt recently. Our mind has the Ultimate power. whatever we think, we do it. whatever we want, we get it, all because of one reason:

Our mind, through our thoughts makes things happen.

If I think, my guy will break my heart, this thought emits a frequency in the universe, and the universe responds by matching this frequency with that of an event which has the same frequency.Now, this event, is reflected back to us, meaning IT HAPPENS!! IN OUR LIFE.

So, to make the opposite happen, you SHOULD ONLY think about things you want in life. Thoughts make our inner world, and which influences and CONTROLLS what happens in the outer world!!! (This is the essence I have found by reading many self help books, listening to many self help gurus, reading about great leaders, this is the essence of LIFE MANAGEMENT)

So,

1. Think like this: My guy will always love me, ad understand me. the universe will respond by bringing events that match up with this thought, meaning Your guy will love and understand you.

2. Coming to your relationship problem, you say you know him well, and you think he is unsure. FIRSTLY get both these thoughts out f your head asap.

3. Feel good about your relationship and DO NOT let unwanted thoughts pester you. Throw them out!

4. Communicate with your guy and tell him Freely, clearly what you are feeling. He will surely understand you, I am sure from what you say about you and him being alike and understanding each other.

5. Give him time, and let him get back to you with what he feels. I am quite sure if you want him so much in your life, he will stay with you forever. Give him love, Give him HIS SPACE.

Do tell me how he responded.

I hope all of what I said helps you fight your own worries. remember, worries, anxities and fears are all negative thougts created by noone else but you! If you want to nurture you mind and ultimately master your mind and control your destiny and gain happiness, love and strength, don't let these thoughts i.e. weeds take root in the garden of your mind.

Wish you the best in life :)

Q: This guy persued me and before that, I never thought of him in that way at all. After a while I began looking at him that way and now I've found myself always wanting to talk to him. He's gone off the grid a little and has been distant. Why is it that he out this idea into my head only to turn away? Now I'm stuck always thinking about him and it's driving me crazy. I just want to go back to how it was before and not see him that way anymore but I don't know how. Someone please help

If you like that person, why not simply go and ask him out?

If you don't want to like that person, well,

1.STOP thinking about him: Whenever a thought pops up in your head about him, REPLACE that thought with something else. It can be anything positive.

2. Now Say to yourself that 'you are better than this and so you deserve much better!' Mantras REALLY work, trust me. If you say it aloud whenever a thought pops up about him, and repeat everytime the thought pops up, slowly you will start believing in it, and you will get over him!

3. Meet more people and open up your option window. Try joining a new class, gym, or anyhting you like. If you are in school, a class of a new discipline and interacting with more people will definitely work.

4. Involve yourlself in something else, something productive, like reading, or playing guitar, or listening to good music, some hobby, some sport or doing your homework/ some work that you like to do, so that you remain active and your mind busy.

5. Isolate yourslef from him completely. No texts, no calls, no catching up, no meeting him.

6. You are the guardian of your mind. You decide what thoughts will remain and what will not. You are the master, not your mind. Don't let it tell you what to do.

7. Stop that mental chatter in your head. It is not you but the mind talking, stop it, catch that one single thought about him and throw it out of your mind. If you don't one thought will lead to another, and you will not be able to get over him.

8. Practice meditation and breathing exercises. Yes, It works! It will help you gain calmness of mind, strength and mental discipline.

9. Find another crush ;)

10. Think about your dream guy and compare it to this guy. You don't want to settle for someone less than the best! Think about things you DO NOT like in this guy. Do you really want a guy who does not match your expectations? NO!

I hope you decide the right thing.

If you really like that person, I say go for it! Else, try the above tips!

Wish you the best in life :)

Q: I'm a female and I'm in 7th grade, I am very mature for my age. I recently got a boyfriend who is a freshman. I've liked him for 5 months and got the guts to ask him out. We've been going out since 12-11-11. And our days we spend together are simply amazing. He act the same as bestfriends like we were before but now we have more benefits obviously. So he's a smoker & I truly hate smokers , but I try to make it the best when he tells me he smokes. Recently a boy that hates me doesn't want me and my boyfriend together and wanted to ruin my plans for me and my boyfriend tomorrow. So instead of spending half the day with me he's going to get high with the boy. And I've honestly been telling him anything even lies to make him stop smoking but I guess he thought I wanted to break up with him when that wasn't the case at all. But I explained to him and I just really wanna know how can we last longer because I'm really in love with him & I wanna know what to say and what not to say to keep him as my boyfriend.
Thanks. (:

I think you should tell him squarely that the guy he smokes with doesn't like you and you don't like that guy. And ask him, to not be with that guy. I am sure he will understand.

Good luck. :)

Q: Hey, before I start, I just want to say that this might be long, so please try to read the entire thing :) Ok, so I'm 15 years old and I feel like my life is broken beyond repair. I'm really not exaggerating. At school everyone's started hating me. Even the teachers. I really don't know what I did, I try my best to be nice to all of them. My classmates go out of the way to make me feel hurt. It was time for Christmas and just before our term break, everyone in my class made plans to buy each other presents and purposely ignored me. Well, I acted like I didn't care because I knew they were trying to hurt me but on the last day of the term, they exchanged presents in class in front of me, the only one left out. Maybe its because I'm not as rich as them (yes, they look down on me for that too), but when I looked happy because I was trying to ignore it, some girls would come near me and show off their presents like they were talking to their friends. And they still act like we're friends but are also mean to me at the same time. I know this sounds confusing, but I'm confused too. And the teachers are always yelling at me when the entire class is doing the same thing as me. And now we have holidays and I was so happy about it, but things at home are horrible too. My parents yell at me all the time and when my sister bought me a dress, they told me I didn't deserve it and I was wasting her money. It was kind of like a late birthday present from her, and somehow my parents and I started fighting about my birthday and I was really angry because my parents didn't even remember it. No one wished me the entire day. When I told this to my parents, they said "Oh, so we have to wish our KIDS now?" WHAT THE FUCK? They seriously consider it beneath their dignity to wish their child on her birthday. And they do this everyday, from the moment I wake up to the time I go to sleep, they find something to yell about and then my mom starts crying like its all my fault. But I cry every minute because of them. And the people at my school. NO ONE CARES. I thought I would finally get some friends, and maybe a boyfriend. WOW. Now I feel like I don't even DESERVE one friend. I probably don't deserve a life. I feel like killing myself, my life is pretty much like hell. Is there something I can do to change this? Or should I just give up, 'cause my grades have been falling, I'm really not pretty and everyone laughs when I tell them I want to be a famous singer when I grow up. Help please?

Firstly, hi, I am from India too. Rajasthani, and I study at law school. And when I was reading this, I felt like getting up and giving you a hug. Of course you deserve an awesome life.

Now, for ALL your troubles, I would recommend a book. A friend of mine, was in a similar situation. Nobody liked him, at college. NO ONE. He is a brilliant student, but not social.

I gave him a book - the name is ''The Secret'' (it is really popular and you might have heard of it.) It is not really long, and very simple language.

He read that book. His life transformed. He has become so positive in life. And his friends tell him that!!! I read this book. I got inspired and positive in my approach. My life took a U turn.

The book teaches you the essence of life management. It is actually quite simple - What you think, happens. Like attracts like. If you think people hate you, the universe responds to the frequency of that thought, and people hate you more. It tells you about the power of your mind. You can achieve anything using it. money, friends, success, any damn thing, you want.

PLEASE PLEASE read the book. IT will make you feel sooooooo good.

Now, if you want the book, download a free torrent. 'The Secret by Rhonda Byrne'

If you can't find it, mail me at saumya.adroit@gmail.com and I will mail it to you.

Good luck :)

Q: When I was in the first grade, I could have easily been skipped to the fourth. Instead, I stayed in first, but only because my school integrated first, second, and third grade into the same classrooms. I ended up being really bored and after forcing the third graders to teach me everything they knew, I entertained myself by memorizing things like the digits of pi, maps and charts of Africa and Asia, and reading the dictionary. Six years later, after transferring to the local public school in my town, I actually got skipped from sixth to eighth. It's a great challenge, but a lot of kids just hate the fact that I'm there as a twelve year old and they're well past fourteen. My teachers, as always, are supportive, but I just don't know what to do anymore.

I don't know why should care about other people as long as your conscious approves of your actions and you think it is right.

Now, for people to like you, you should interact with them more, be interested in them, be HUMBLE and try new things. You should be a listener, and join people with what they do. Age doesn't really matter, and you should make them realize it.

Please do not read a dictionary to improve your vocabulary. Read books and newspapers instead. It will not only improve your vocab(of course, you need a dictionary over here) but also enhance your grammar, knowledge and reading speed.
(If you want to improve your vocab through a book, Word Power by Norman Lewis is a great starter)

If you are an avid reader, you should read ''How to win friends and influence people'' - it is a wonderful book, immensely popular and highly effective. I highly recommend it for you. It will help you improve your social skills. Download it free as an e book.

For people to like you, the secret is to Like yourself. For people to love you, the secret is to love yourself. What this means is not to brag about yourself or be complacent but to FEEL Good about yourself and FEEL fulfilled, and accomplished within yourself. Being smart is a gift, do not hate it thus, and instead use it as an advantage.

Wish you the best in life.

Q: We have known eachother since we were both 15, and we are both now 19. We have been best friends since we met. Our relationship is really complicated, and no one can really give me a straight answer about whether or not she likes me.
When we were 15 I started going out with a girl she didnt like, and immediately after that she started going out with a boy I didnt like. A few months later when we were both single again, she kissed me in front of everyone on the last day of school (our school shut down after that). She has always gotten very upset whenever I get girlfriends, and always tries to get all of my attention. I figured all of this was a sign she liked me, so I asked her out, and she said "no, youre not my type." She then continued to get jealous over other girls, and started coming over to my house wanting to "cuddle" with me. I thought she was playing hard to get, so I confronted her about it, and she didnt answer. I told her I loved her one day and she didnt tell me she loved me back.
We stopped talking for a while, but then we began hanging out all the time again, and watching movies a lot. She wanted me to go to England to live with her for a year, and told me she would miss me more than anyone in her life. I couldnt go, and we havent talked for 6 months now.
I really cant tell if she is just really shy and wants me to be very aggressive with her and constantly chase after her, or if she genuinely isnt interested in me, because I dont know how you can want to live with me and cuddle with me and want all my attention when Im not your type and you dont love me and you said no when I asked you out. Any advice for when she comes back?

Okay, it is quite evident that she has feelings for you. It may be a crush/ infatuation/ love.

Now, I think either she is confused about her feelings towards you or is trying to be hard to get, as you say. The reason may be that she knows that guys are usually attracted to girls who they think are a challenge. And she wants you to win her over.

Now my advice when she comes back: Be friends again, in the beginning, like you were. Hang out with each other, in public places. Take it real slow and try to make her feel that you wanna know her more, and wanna be great friends, forever. Tell her and explain why you couldn't go to England. And make her comfortable around you.
And after some time, explain to her about your feelings, nicely, and tell her that you want to give her time to think about it. Be clear.

Now, after some time, ask her out, and make it clear that you want to be with her. And now two things can happen:

1. She refuses -> Leave her. Forget about her completely and move on. You have tried enough and she is too shy/ not reasonable/ confused. You really shouldn't be with someone who is so indecisive and hollow.

2.She accepts -> Start dating, and appreciate her being with you. :)

Also, tell yourself that it is going to be the last time when you are asking her out, and going after her, like she wants you to. She isn't really worth it if she doesn't appreciate your effort.
You don't wanna be with someone who is not appreciative and kind. Move on, there are plenty of options around.

I wish you the best. :)

Q: So I'm currently in love with this guy... (I'm 21 f)(he's 22 m). The only thing iss, he is in juvinile lock up right now. I only get to see him on sundays because that is when he gets "pass" and comes home for 12 hours. We usually do a lot of stuff (other than sex,....I don't know what types of deseases he could contract from being in juvy) So we mostly stick to making out. How do I ask him out, so he can finally be mine? I think I'm in love!! Thanks! Btw. He went to juvy for selling drugs to an undercover, so yea...nothing THAT bad...

Are you sure selling drugs is ''nothing that bad''?

It is illegal and I don't think you should be with someone who in future can attract trouble, and bring it to you too. If you think you can change him, go ahead and try. If you don't want to change him, I think you should seriously redefine your opinion about most things in life.

Q: last night my bf sent me to hell on the phone,we had an argument and he just hung up on me,I spent the whole night crying,What can I do????

Hey there. Every relationship has its ups and downs, high points and low points. But I guess what makes it strong is your sticking together and working together towards a solution.

Firstly, I would suggest you CHEER UP. Feeling good and appreciating him and moments spent together. Then, find out what went wrong. What was the argument about? What is the root of the problem? It may be a misunderstanding/ insecurity/ or something else.

Second, give it time. A day, or two, till you both calm down.

Third, let go of your ego and think over where you went wrong, what this means is what you think you did that your conscious will never approve and your guy wouldn't like.

Fourth, be positive in your approach. If you are not feeling good and optimistic towards working out a solution, then it never will. Use the power of your mind and make it happen, by being positive.

Fifth, do not think about who was right and who was wrong because trust me, there are no absolutes. If you really want to make up, acknowledge what you think you did that he didn't like, and LEARN from it. Learning from an argument, or ''negative'' events will help you rebuild your relationship and take it to new heights.

Sixth, now tell him sweetly and politely and precisely what your feelings are about the problem. U got to take the initiative, if he doesn't talk politely, you should, if you want to stick to this guy. While talking, tell him that you love him and want to be together and how you appreciate it.

Seventh, recognize that here no one is a winner in the argument. It's just about who will fix it first by apologizing and showing humility.

Lastly, communicate freely about it and do not repress any of your feelings, because chances are, it might explode again, in a way you won't like and won't be good. Then, give HIM time, to think about it.

Now, if he is not understanding your problem, and still being violent, I suggest, DUMP him. He is not worth it, people who are understanding and appreciative and easy going are the best to be around and stay with. Negative people shouldn't be a part of your life for your own sake.

I hope it helped a little.

Cheer up and be POSITIVE. IT WILL work out.

Good luck :)

Q: Hi, I'm 14 and recently started dating one of my really good male friends. I really like him, and want to stay with him for a while. But I have had a crush on another guy who I've talked to like four times the whole year, and it didn't subside when this guy asked me out...but I had a crush on him too. What I'm saying is, is it ok for me to have a crush on someone else while I'm dating someone I like as well, as long as I don't make a move on this crush? I barely talk to this crush and there is no action between us, but I can't help liking him as well as my boyfriend. Is this okay?

It certainly is NOT okay. Just spend time with your boyfrind more, and replace his thoughts with your crush's thoughts. You will get over this crush soon.Good luck.:)

Q: I just started dating this guy like a week and a half ago, and his birthday is right around Christmas. We've been friends since the start of the school year, but I don't know if I'm supposed to get him a present...? We are only 14, and not very serious yet. Any advice? Do I need to get him something, and if so, what are some ideas? Thanks.

Believe it or not, guys like both compliments and presents. He would appreviate it if you get him sonething he likes, for example a music CD, or a tee, or a coffee mug autographed by you. These are some general ideas but if you tell me sepcifically what kind of a person he is, I might just help you more. :)

And if you are having seconds thought about the gift thing because you think it's just 'week and a half' you need not worry, because it really doesn't matter.

PS - Please DO NOT get a barbie doll for him. lol :P Good luck!