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IS THERE SOMETHING I CAN DO?
Hey, before I start, I just want to say that this might be long, so please try to read the entire thing :) Ok, so I'm 15 years old and I feel like my life is broken beyond repair. I'm really not exaggerating. At school everyone's started hating me. Even the teachers. I really don't know what I did, I try my best to be nice to all of them. My classmates go out of the way to make me feel hurt. It was time for Christmas and just before our term break, everyone in my class made plans to buy each other presents and purposely ignored me. Well, I acted like I didn't care because I knew they were trying to hurt me but on the last day of the term, they exchanged presents in class in front of me, the only one left out. Maybe its because I'm not as rich as them (yes, they look down on me for that too), but when I looked happy because I was trying to ignore it, some girls would come near me and show off their presents like they were talking to their friends. And they still act like we're friends but are also mean to me at the same time. I know this sounds confusing, but I'm confused too. And the teachers are always yelling at me when the entire class is doing the same thing as me. And now we have holidays and I was so happy about it, but things at home are horrible too. My parents yell at me all the time and when my sister bought me a dress, they told me I didn't deserve it and I was wasting her money. It was kind of like a late birthday present from her, and somehow my parents and I started fighting about my birthday and I was really angry because my parents didn't even remember it. No one wished me the entire day. When I told this to my parents, they said "Oh, so we have to wish our KIDS now?" WHAT THE FUCK? They seriously consider it beneath their dignity to wish their child on her birthday. And they do this everyday, from the moment I wake up to the time I go to sleep, they find something to yell about and then my mom starts crying like its all my fault. But I cry every minute because of them. And the people at my school. NO ONE CARES. I thought I would finally get some friends, and maybe a boyfriend. WOW. Now I feel like I don't even DESERVE one friend. I probably don't deserve a life. I feel like killing myself, my life is pretty much like hell. Is there something I can do to change this? Or should I just give up, 'cause my grades have been falling, I'm really not pretty and everyone laughs when I tell them I want to be a famous singer when I grow up. Help please?
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Hi. The way you speak is just fine so don't need to apologise for that.
I was reading what you wrote and thought it all sounded all too familiar and then when you said you're from India it all made sense. I am asian so I know how it is with asian families and how they can be sometimes.
Firstly with school... don't let these people get to you. You're obviously smart because you know that's what they are trying to do and to be honest it's some really sad and pathetic people that go out their way in doing something like that just to make you jealous. Rise above hate (and their stupidity) and don't let it get to you. You said you were doing great in your grades so what you need to do is concentrate on that at school. Ignore the poser students and the teachers that yell at you (don't give them any reason to and you'll be okay) but concentrate on making something of yourself. If not for yourself then I found revenge and the ability to later in life be able to say, "I made something of myself while you are all scum and losers!" is a great motivation in wanting to succeed. It worked for me.
Sometimes family can be a pain and believe me I know all about that because it is sometimes the same with my family. I get endless crap I have to put up with from them but I ignore it and just get on with things as best I can and all I can suggest is you also try and do the same. Don't give up on yourself and certainly don't think you don't deserve to live or anything. If you want to start fresh next year then make it happen! Bring your grades up and start making the changes you need to make to better yourself. Also I doubt you are bad as you think you are since we always think we all look bad or need to lose weight and stuff so again, don't be so hard on yourself. Being able to escape from reality helps everyone now and again and isn't all that bad but sometimes you do have to come back to reality and handle your business so read manga but know that if you want to make next year better for yourself you will need to actually do it yourself since nothing ever changes if all you do is hope that it will.
Good luck and don't give up. <3
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Firstly, hi, I am from India too. Rajasthani, and I study at law school. And when I was reading this, I felt like getting up and giving you a hug. Of course you deserve an awesome life.
Now, for ALL your troubles, I would recommend a book. A friend of mine, was in a similar situation. Nobody liked him, at college. NO ONE. He is a brilliant student, but not social.
I gave him a book - the name is ''The Secret'' (it is really popular and you might have heard of it.) It is not really long, and very simple language.
He read that book. His life transformed. He has become so positive in life. And his friends tell him that!!! I read this book. I got inspired and positive in my approach. My life took a U turn.
The book teaches you the essence of life management. It is actually quite simple - What you think, happens. Like attracts like. If you think people hate you, the universe responds to the frequency of that thought, and people hate you more. It tells you about the power of your mind. You can achieve anything using it. money, friends, success, any damn thing, you want.
PLEASE PLEASE read the book. IT will make you feel sooooooo good.
Now, if you want the book, download a free torrent. 'The Secret by Rhonda Byrne'
If you can't find it, mail me at saumya.adroit@gmail.com and I will mail it to you.
Good luck :)
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