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Can there be a second chance?
I used to go out with this guy. We had an amazing relationship. We bearly fought about anything,talked to each other about everthing, spend time together, and we got soo closed to the point that I knew what he was thinking before he even told. Its very easy to talk to him because he understands me so I never feel like I have to explain myself, are personalities are alot alike. But during our relationship we had some problems with people accepting us being together, since he's 7 years older then me, so they thought he was using me because of my inexperience things began to get weird between us, right during that time i went on vacation for a whole month, thinking that the time away from him was going to benefit turns out, that when i came back he was done with me, and I never heard from him, and he never tried reaching me knewing that I was back.... Six months have passed and I still have the same feelings I had since I met him, I love him more then anything I would give anything to find out what happend that made him abandon me. then a few days ago he finally contacts me though facebook and gives me his number because he wanted to talk to me. When I texted him he asks why I never reached him, then he calls to explain what happend, and tells me he still has feelings for me and would like to see me and apologize, when he tells me all of this I couldnt be any happier. He finally comes over and he apologizes and I ask him what his intentions are with me, and he seems very unsure, i told him i didnt want a friendship with him, or be a bootycall, I told him that I was willing to forgive him and i would love to make things work again and have a serious long lasting relationship with him, I told him if thats not what he wanted then he could just forget about me because I already felt better once I found out what really happend between us. When I told him what I wanted he says that he would like to atttempt things again and take things slow, and start with a new beginning, because i know him so well, I dont think hes ever taken anything slow and I feel like he doesnt want the same thing I want. I dont know what to do I dont want to feel like im pressuring him, but i dont want to wait around for ever. I love him, but im scared that hes going to break my heart again. I dont want to relive what I went through, but I dont want to be away from him...please help i know this is long, but i feel like no one understands what im going through, and please dont tell me thers other fish in the sea.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I think you guys should really take it slow. It sounds like you are both unsure and it will take some time to get to know each other again. Start out as friends and work your way up. Don't rush him and have him not rush you.
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Look,I've been through the same experince twice in my life,I know it's not easy but you have to make an effort and step away,if he doesn't want the same thing you want in a relationship then it's not worth it bc he's not prepared for a serious thing,and what's worse is that he's older than you he should be more responsible than you,the same thing happened to me,they were older and more experimented than me,it's much preferable to cry with your pillow for a couple of nights(i know it may be a long time)than staying with a guy who does anything he wants with you,sensitive people's feelings like yours or mine are like a toy for those who have the privilege to have them,don't give away your heart to somebody who does not deserve it,I'm telling you this bc my heart has been broken several times and I try to prevent people from doing the same:)
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How old are you exactly? If you're still in your teens the age thing could be the serious issue for several reasons. But I'm going to assume you are an adult. (it could be a problem even if you're in your 20s to be honest, just because the two of you are in different phases of life at that age)
He's obviously still unsure about how he feels. To be perfectly honest, there's no way for YOU to really fix that. It has to be something he wants. Something that comes from inside. Its clear that hes thinking about it, and definitely thinking about you.
Give this new start some time. Its not literally a new start, since the two of you already have a lot of history. But hopefully it is a better start, with more experience to back up the relationship this time.
See if everything flows. Sometimes you have to wait a little while to see how things go before making a real judgement. If the both of you want it to work, then it should have no problem working. Keep trying to talk to him, and do your best to be responsible and mature and not erratic, so that he can have a firm basis for his faith in the relationship, and in you. If you show that you are unsure and nervous about it as well, it could make him just as worried.
Just remember that in the long term, if the two of you don't want the same things, and that if you aren't on the same page, it will only end badly. You cant control people, no matter how much you may want to. That's pretty much why any relationships end.
It sucks, and it may hurt a lot if you actually do let him go. Just do your best to make it work this time. Realize that in the end he is going to make his own decision about how he feels, and let go of trying to make him want it to work. He either will or wont.
But from what I can tell, you definitely sound like you're worth it. And if he doesn't see that, its his loss. Don't give up, but don't let this relationship control your life either. In the grand scheme of things, you'll see that sometimes its not all that bad to let go.
Good luck.
xChaos
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Firstly, let me tell you one thing I have learnt recently. Our mind has the Ultimate power. whatever we think, we do it. whatever we want, we get it, all because of one reason:
Our mind, through our thoughts makes things happen.
If I think, my guy will break my heart, this thought emits a frequency in the universe, and the universe responds by matching this frequency with that of an event which has the same frequency.Now, this event, is reflected back to us, meaning IT HAPPENS!! IN OUR LIFE.
So, to make the opposite happen, you SHOULD ONLY think about things you want in life. Thoughts make our inner world, and which influences and CONTROLLS what happens in the outer world!!! (This is the essence I have found by reading many self help books, listening to many self help gurus, reading about great leaders, this is the essence of LIFE MANAGEMENT)
So,
1. Think like this: My guy will always love me, ad understand me. the universe will respond by bringing events that match up with this thought, meaning Your guy will love and understand you.
2. Coming to your relationship problem, you say you know him well, and you think he is unsure. FIRSTLY get both these thoughts out f your head asap.
3. Feel good about your relationship and DO NOT let unwanted thoughts pester you. Throw them out!
4. Communicate with your guy and tell him Freely, clearly what you are feeling. He will surely understand you, I am sure from what you say about you and him being alike and understanding each other.
5. Give him time, and let him get back to you with what he feels. I am quite sure if you want him so much in your life, he will stay with you forever. Give him love, Give him HIS SPACE.
Do tell me how he responded.
I hope all of what I said helps you fight your own worries. remember, worries, anxities and fears are all negative thougts created by noone else but you! If you want to nurture you mind and ultimately master your mind and control your destiny and gain happiness, love and strength, don't let these thoughts i.e. weeds take root in the garden of your mind.
Wish you the best in life :)
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