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I'm just not myself, I have no idea what's going on.
My boyfriend and I have been going out for about five months. He is my best friend. He showers me with love, makes me laugh constantly, and is my personal diary. I could talk to him for hours and never get bored. It's like I have everything I could ever ask for in him. He always makes me feel so happy. We spend most of our time together, but we've given each other space since the holidays are around and I need to spend some time with my family.
Lately, I have been feeling very down about the whole relationship. I feel like I'm bringing him down. I'm very sensitive and I get very touchy about some of the things he says, even if it's just a joke. I get upset over stupid things, like when he came over early as a surprise. I was really mad and I got very bitchy. Most of the time recently, the things he does that I'd usually find funny or touching, I suddenly find it unappealing. I don't even know why. I know for a fact I would go insane without him, because he's pretty much everything to me. My family is very hard on me and I don't have a lot of friends, so he is basically my world. Last night I called him and told him to break up with me because I feel horrible. He does everything he can to please me and goes out of his way just for me, yet I get upset and bitchy over EVERYTHING. I hate this feeling. I know he deserves better. But every time I tell him that, he's like, "No, I love you and I'm going to fight for you, and I will fix this. You deserve me, I bet there's not any other girl that treats me as nice as you do, you're out of my league..blah blah blah." I'm very touched by this and my tears all fade but then the next day I feel like complete shit because I am taking him for granted. I want out because of it, but at the same time, he tries so hard to fix things and I just don't have the will to make it work. I'm just confused and emotional and scared. I feel like one day he'll reach his breaking point because I'm so neurotic. He is always assuring me because I've been hurt so badly by guys in my past. Why can't I just ever sit back and enjoy this? I say I'd fight for him but when it all comes down, I just don't want to. I just want him to give up on me. I love him with all my heart but I just think things are crashing down fast for us. He believes in me, but I don't believe in myself. I can't break from this depression.
I'm sorry if I seem like a selfish idiot to you. I'm just a teenager, I'm only sixteen and I've never had such a good relationship before like I have now, and I don't know what to do about it. I'm happy one day, then depressed the next day. Am I just being emotional or is something really wrong? What do you think I should do? I'm not myself at all.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You're probally going through emotional changes... you might wanna take a brake and see what the problem is and try to see if you're attracted to someone else... but first make it clear with him about what you're doing first so nothing bad happens.
Jessie
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It sounds like you have low self-esteem and possibly depression!
Your boyfriend is very similar to mine in which he jokes a lot and it seems everything is a joke. Even when I'm trying to be serious he still somehow makes a joke. I have to remind him when I'm serious that he needs to listen. Does he do it everytime? No! It's who he is and I accept it but at the end of the day when I mean business I mean business. And my boyfriend understands that. Have you talked to your boyfriend to tell you exactly what you are thinking? If you haven't he isn't going to know what's going on or how to deal with it. Communication is key in a relationship you need to be honest and open or else the problem won't get fixed it'll get worse!
You need to realize your worth and you need to realize there is something special about you that he sees. I went through this I didn't realize how special I was until my boyfriend kept repeating himself over and over. There are times when I'm in doubt but he always reassures me. I'm not trying to boost my own ego but I know my worth. It's time you motivate yourself and start believing in yourself because doubting yourself is only going to make you and this relaitonship feel worse. Think if you were to dump your boyfriend today how would it make you feel? I think you would feel worse then you do now and that's just my opinion. Really think about what you want because there are consequences to your choices that you make. Be positive, listen to up beat music do something you love everyday. Maybe don't spend as much time together maybe try and spend sometime apart 'distance makes the heart grow fonder'. Hang in there and I hope everything works out! Happy Holidays!
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I second xChaos and rate the answer a 5/5.
There is nothing wrong with you, girl.
1. Chill. Come on, you have everything you have always wanted. Take a deeep breath and smile :)
2. Oh, if you don't believe in yourself, how can you believe not believing in yourself, eh?
3. You are going erratic and whimsical probably because, it happens with teenage girls. Welcome to adolescence. You don't need to worry about it, it's very normal and will go off very very soon.
4. Now, you being insecure..PLEASE stop thinking so much! Guys like easy going girls, be that! :)
Stop that mental chatter going on in your head right away, it is not you, but your mind talking. You have the power to stop it, so DO IT!
5. Engage yourself in activities that you like. It will not only boos your self confidence but help you overcome your fears, insecurity and make you feel fulfilled and accomplished.
Activities that are productive: like reading/writing/music/sports/quizzing/anything you like to do.
6. Insecurity is caused by guess what? Worries. Self created and destructive.
How to deal with it:
a. get a notepad: write down whatever is going on in your head.
b. Do it for a week, a couple of times every day when you feel stressed out or worried.
c. Read whatever you have written, what is the area about which you worry a lot? I am guessing it would be your relationship.
d. Write down positive and negative feelings,and thoughts about your relationship and also the most favourable ones(how you would like it to be)
e. When you find yourself worrying about the same thing, read the positives' list and re-read and feel good about it.
f. Keep this list on hand and re-read whenever you feel low about your relationship.
This process will train your mid to appreciate the positives, and hope for more positive feelings, actions, events and outcomes about you and the guy. and will reduce your worrying.
7. When you go to bed, appreciate the good things that happened to you during the day and feel good about it. This will attract more and more good things to you with regard to the relationship. DO NOT think about the bad things, instead when a thought about the bad event pops up, replace it with the thought of HOW you wanted the event to be, and FEEL that it will happen. Or maybe you could just REPLACE that thought with thought of any good thing that happened during the day.
8. Mantras (Affirmations) : For example in your case you would say aloud to youself:
I am a beautiful person, I have a guy who loves me deeply, I want to love him, and be with him.
Repeat this mantra ALOUD everytime you feel low and everytime a negative thought pops up in your head.
Now, even if you feel it's not true, FEEL like you are experiencing the positive outcomes you desire with complete disregard to previous negative worries you've had in the past.
It will help change your mindset and beliefs about the negative events/ feelings and bring more positive events to you with regard to your relationship.
9. The best thing is that YOU KNOW that your worry is without reason, it is unjustified. Use your relationship history to remind yourself that your guy is simply wonderful and any bad event wrt your relationship is VERY unlikely to occur so shouldn't be worried about.
10. Communicate freely with your guy, from what you say I think he is someone who is understanding, kind and caring. He would definitely be very happy to listen and help you out.
11. Practice meditation. You will gain mental strength, calmness of mind and feeling of happiness and contentment within yourself.
Read this -> [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Hope it helped.
Stop worrying! It is self destructive.
Be positive. :)
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Listen up kiddo.
This guy loves you. He LOVES you. Do you understand that? Do you think every guy is going to come along and be amazing in your life? I assure you he is a rarity, and he is most definitely worth fighting for. If you leave him because "meh I dont feel like I want to jump all over him today Im so stressed omg maybe I dont love him anymore and we should break up for no good reason", which is, speaking from experience, something that a lot of girls do, you will regret it for a long long time.
Having said that, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, or with your relationship. You are 16. That is the problem. Teenage girls throughout history have been NOTORIOUS for having completely random, irrational, and contradictory feelings. So yes, you are simply being over emotional, and there is nothing wrong with that. Clearly he seems to understand that and love you anyways, something that makes him even more amazing, since most teenage boys are too thick and insensitive to get it.
Relationships, especially teenage relationships, go through phases like this, literally all the time. One day you wake up and love him so much and cant wait to see him, and the next day you could honestly care less. It goes up and down all the time. To some extent, that even happens in adult relationships. When you're around someone all the time, it makes sense to be less and less excited to see them.
Just don't get it twisted. Don't break up with him for a stupid reason. He could be abusing you emotionally, physically, cheating on you, or using you. Those are all reasons to break up with someone. He is doing none of those. Breaking up with him will only hurt yourself.
You don't believe in yourself? You're insecure? Welcome to being a woman (no offense). Its completely normal to feel this way. Just don't get it twisted and make a mistake like walking away from someone you love on nothing more than a whim during your period.
So my advice to you is, tell him exactly what you said here. Tell him how much you love him and appreciate him. Apologize to him for not making sense sometimes, for being insecure, and for seeming to lose your affection for him at times. If hes smart, he will understand that its basically your biology that's doing this to you, not your mind or your heart.
Once you've done that, calm down. Take it slow, soak it all in, and have a nice deep breath. Realize how good things are, and how many girls would kill to have what you have. Realize that in the end you really have nothing to worry about.
Everything is going to be okay.
Good luck.
xChaos
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