I'm just the girl next door. We all have a story and everyone needs some advice from time to time.
Location: Midwest
Age: 40
Member Since: May 26, 2010
Answers: 31
Last Update: February 15, 2012
Visitors: 2892
Main Categories:
Work/School Relationships
Love Life
Friendship
View All
|
| |
I'm not good at dealing with this sort of things, so I need help.
I left my facebook account open and my mom went on and read all my messages and replied to all saying I was grounded and wasn't allowed friends till I am 18, which is two years from now. I think it's unfair that she went through ALL MY STUFF. Without my permission. (link)
|
While it wasn't right of your mom to go on your facebook page and post anything, you should always follow the simple rule of don't post anything you don't want your parents/friends/employer know.
Your mom is just trying to see what's going on in your life. Just try and talk to her, but also listen to what she is saying. Its hard to be a teenager and its hard to be a mom.
While this might not be what you want to hear...she loves enough to take the time to look at your page and to be upset over something. You don't see this now as a good thing but it really is.
Talk to her and remember if its posted on Facebook it out there for the world to see well at least your world
|
|
Its been 3 years since I last had sex was practicing celibacy We'll I gave in for Vday !!Now he went down ate it like a monster & then went to go fck was hard at first to get it in but it got it Felt good after so long bt he got his I didnt get mine Whats that abt ? What do I do if there is a next time .. (link)
|
Hi...wow so not a great time this time around. I think you just need to tell him to slow down, I'm sure that the second time will be better. You will have to tell him what turns you on and what he needs to do to get you to the big 'O' but if your willing to talk to him I'm sure you both will have a lot more fun together.
|
Hello my name is Jaisa and im 12 years old and im having love life problems...Me and my ex-boyfriend are friends but he has a girfriend now...me and him got together May 5th,2011 and broke up five months later.When we were together we loved eachother-well I loved him-and i got to meet his mom.My friend had a party in november and me and him were broken up...but he came and his girlfriend wasnt there so i got a crazy and there were couple dances and we started grinding and flirting and i asked him"If you didn't have a girfriend would you kiss me?" and he said "Yes.".
and just yesterday in our last period of school-hes in 6 of my classes-we were flirting and playing around and we made the eye contact thing and we just stared at eachother until someone walked by...Does he want to get back together with me? (link)
|
Sorry this answer is so late, the only way to know if he really wants to get back together with you is to ask him. Being honest with him and asking him is the only way.....if he says no..say ok then you really need to stop flirting with me because I do wish we could be together and if that isn't what you want them you need to leave me alone so I can move on.
I wish you the best and stay true to yourself always
|
|
My fiance mention, for like the third time, that he would like to try new things in the bedroom. His main interest seems to be on a threesome, which is something that he knows I have done in the past. The thing is, I don't want to share him (that's why I commited to him, because before him I only had friends with benefits) and I've told him how I feel. Knowing that he wants a threesome makes me feel like I'm not good enough for him, and like he doesn't really want ME. Am I overracting? I do understand that he has only been with me, maybe he wants to experience someone else... or experience the things that I did before meeting him. I really would like a possible explanation on why he would ask for something that he knows bothers me to even think about. (link)
|
The only person who can answer why he wants to do something is him. You need to ask him and let him know that you really don't want to do that and why you don't want to. It will help you both to learn to talk about this kind of stuff.
Good Luck
|
Okay so me and my bf saw eachother tonight and had a great time. He told ke when I was leaving that he liked seeig me alot and was happy he cld see me. We hugged and I left: (we haven't kissed yet so that's why we didn't do anything else) but he texted me and this is our conversation...
Him:hey
me: hey did you and ____ ( (link)
|
Hi...
Just sounds like he wasn't in a texting mood. Most guys don't like texting or talking a ton in the first place.
I can see where you might think that there is an issue, but I wouldn't really worry about it unless he stops talking to you after this.
Good luck!
|
|
Okay. See here's the thing. I used to be such a stubborn independ, strong willed girl. You couldn't tell me to do anything, I was crazy. But when I started dating this boy. I think I let him change me... And I think I know the night it happened. I was hanging out with him one night and we were kissing, normal stuff. But then it started getting kind of hot, like I started to press into him more (we were laying down on the couch, I was on top) then he pulled me down so he was on top and started to press into me even harder, it almost hurt. He stopped for a second because I was hesitating now. I apologized and reminded him this was the first time I've ever been this physical with a guy, cuz he was my first boyfriend. He said it's okay and kept going. He started putting his hand down my pants and I pulled it out. A few minutes later he put it down again and I pulled it out. He put it in a third time and I knew, I knew it was wrong for him to keep doing this but somehow I also thought it was okay... I can't even explain it. It's like I shut down and just let him. I let him finger me. Then he stopped and I didn't even notice it but I had started crying. I don't know why I couldn't tell him to stop... I wasn't scared I was just like lost... completely zoned out. I don't know. He didn't notice I was crying and we kept going. He then proceeded to put my hand in his pants and I pulled it away. He asked me for a handjob and I said no. He told me it was okay. The next time we hung out he pulled down his pants and put my hand... well you know where. I started giving him a hj. I don't know why I couldnt' say no!! I started to cry though and we stopped and he hugged me, I just told him I didn't want to go so fast and he said okay. Except everytime we hung out he continued to finger me. When we hit six months I knew something was wrong. It was like this kid had sucked all of my strength out of me. I wasn't myself anymore. And when he asked for a bj I said no but like usual the things he said to convice me stopped seeming ilke convincing and started making so much sense even though I knew it was wrong. He told me things like "it's been six months, I finger you and it seems like that aspect of our relationship is completely one-sided. you should be comfortable enough to do this for me." and I did it... I was shocked with myself. I couldn't believe I was fourteen and doing this. I started crying after but he held me and told me it was okay and that he loved me and I believed him. He could tell me anything and I'd believe him. I don't know how our relationship got like this. Anyway, he dumped four days later. Its been two months since the break up and I know I'm stronger now. But I'm scared to trust myself with liking a guy again. I HATED how pathetic and used my ex made me feel. I HATED being his little slave. I don't ever want that again... I don't know if I can't trust boys or if I can't trust myself... I don't know what to do. How can I get back who I was?? (link)
|
Oh sweetie, my heart goes out to you because its hard to say no to someone that you really like. You are very young and these are all first's for you. While you said no and he talked you into doing things you weren't ready for. Its hard at this point to know the difference between curiosity and reality. It normal to wonder about what people do together and there is a lot of peer pressure to do more and when its coming from someone who says that they love you....it makes you doubt yourself. Don't beat yourself about what happened. See it as a learning experience and now you know what your limits are.
Trust yourself!! Trust the person that you know you are. Its easy to try and be what you think someone else wants you to be, but stay true to yourself!!
Getting back to yourself? Everything we do and see and say changes us, take what you have been thru and be the person you want to be. Trust yourself and know that you have the right to say No and you have the right to change your mind about anything.
|
My boyfriend and I just started having sex, and we always use a condom. But I really want to start on birth control, except my mother doesn't approve. She doesn't even know we're sexually active. I'm 17 years old, and I'd like to know if there is a way I can get birth control without her permission or her finding out?
Thanks! (link)
|
You can go on birth control by going to Planned Parenthood. However going on the pill will only protect you from getting pregnant and it will take a while to build up in your system to be truly effective.
Your very young and I wish you and boyfriend the best, but always safety first and that means him still wearing a condom. Better to be protected because not being is life changing in this case.
|
|
I'm a 20 year old female. I hate my life, I got Herpse from somewhere unknown I have alway been honest with my boyfriend. I also have erythema muliforme, which is an overreaction to the Herpse, every 3 weeks i break out i have black spots, painfull boils, itchy painfull blisters, and cold sores all over my body and face that dont go away, I used to be pretty now i cant even look at myself without crying.... I have thought to just end this pain and this hummilation. I'am a coward and i don't want to live as a monster... I thought about cutting my wrist,I think that would be a easy way, however i heard that advil od was also painless. (link)
|
Take a deep breath and think about all that you have to live for. Others here have offered you some great suggestions and also offered you help with the erythema muliforme, so there is a lot of hope!
Talk with your boyfriend about how you are feeling, be honest with him. If you are still feeling this way please go and talk with your doctors and find out from them what can be done. There are medications that are short term to help you with the depression.
|
|
I am a 23 year old female and I was raised Christian in a very religious family. As I grew up and started to form my own opinion I decided to not refer to myself as a Christian. I have not been to church since I turned 18 and moved out. I believe in God 100% but I do not believe in Christianity. I feel as if apart of me doesn't believe in religion. I'm trying to decide if maybe I just haven't been exposed to the right religion. Or maybe I shouldn't classify myself as one religion. Maybe I should just love God, live right, and treat people good and not study one religion. What should I do? (link)
|
Hi....
I understand to some degree where you are coming from and this is a subject that is hard for most people to talk about let alone get any guidance about.
This is not something someone here can answer for you, because what is right for one may not be right for someone else.
Take some time and go and research, visit other church's or worship halls and see what they offer and what fits with what you are looking for. There is so much to learn and I have found that learning about other religions, enjoy this experience!
Living your life as someone who loves god and believes in God and treating people good is always a good place to start.
|
|
Why do all the weird not very attractive girls get boyfriends? I'm in high school and it seems like all the guys like are these annoying girls. They are not even pretty. I just don't understand it. I feel like I'd I have to act differently to get a guy. Seriously, why is this? (link)
|
the pretty girl sometime doesn't get the guy because they think you already have someone.
Also its not always about what a person looks like its about the person that you are.
Be yourself and the right guys will notice.
|
Okay so it all started about a year and a half ago! I had just gotten suspended from school for the rest of the year because of fighting. My friend Mariah had ran from her group home and I joined her. After our first night on the run, we were introduced to a couple people, one of them being the boy I would fall in love with, Jason! I can replay the first moment I seen him with perfection, as if it just happened. Here came this loud, adorable boy in his dickies! It was an instant attraction! That night me and mariah stayed at his house and me and him stayed up all night.(justkissing) Did I mention we were EXTREMELY drunk?! Well the next day when I woke up laying next to him, I pretended like that night never happened, even though I had major hickies. He tried so many times to talk to me and until I was again drunk that night I blew him off! Then once I was drunk we were more 2gether, it was crazy! THEN this guy we call "blackboy" came and I found him extremely attractive, and considering how drunk I was I was completely open about that feeling! That night I had sex with him in jasons room! Long story short:: next day Jason was pissed at me but then we talked ALOT and made up and I had sex with him that night, and the next day I left and didnt see him again for a while!!!!! ......About A Month Later..... So i was no longer on the run and my birthday was coming up. And without saying I wanted to see him I was determined to make sure I spent my birthday with him, and I did. That night is the best mmemory of my life, and the night I fell in love!(July10th2009♥). We did not have sex that night but we went on a super long walk together, and spent an AMAZING night 2gether>>WITHOUT SEX!! ..The next day i went home!! .....2WeeksLater.... So I was going to hang out with my friend mario and his homeboys and we were gonna drink! well I got drunk and had sex with 2boys that night! they were cousins, and Jasons good friends, and he showed up the next day. He freaked out on me then left, and about an hour later came back and wanted 2 "talk" and spend the day with me.We had sex that night. If i went on in detail about it would take me a century to write about it BUT our relationship mainly consisted of me sleeping with his friend, him cheating on girlfriends with me, fighting, sex, alot of great memories, and in the end him hating me!!
Now here's my dilema! I put myself in rehab for three months FOR HIM! I cant deal with him hating me. We havent talked in almost 4months. Ive been working so hard to turn my life around for him. AND today I find out he's going to be doing 6 to 8 years jail time for being a look out for a shooting. I LOVE HIM!! My anxiety litterally is hurting me! Please dont give me advice on how, "I dont know what love is" or "What we had wasnt love" or "how to get over him" I NEED advice on how I can work things out with him if i write him or I need to know hotline numbers to talk to someone about this kind of thing.
When you give me advice just consider that i am an EXTREMELY determined girl who is in love and not even slightly considering giving up!!! (link)
|
This is free advice...so its as good as what you paid for it :)
If you are determined to stay with this boy and you love him, then let him know, send him a letter/e-mail/text and tell him.
Also now that you are thru ReHab and your working your steps think about what you want. What are you going to change to make this relationship work and let him know that.
The past is the past you know what you did and what he knows about and you need to find out if he does want to be with you.
Ask yourself this...are you willing to wait around for him for 6-7 years if he goes to jail? Are you willing to stop seeing other guys and only see him?
You are the only person that can answer those questions.
Again this is free advice take it or leave it...don't complain about it
|
|
helppp!!! okay my dad is the most strict parent in te world and won't let me even talk to guys as friends. well he took my phone for no reason while I was sitting in my room and started reading my messages. I really dint think he liked them and he isn't giving it back to me until I go back to my moms in a week. but I'm sure that some of my guy friends are going to text my phone. and my dad WILL take thins the wrong way. I have no idea what to do I'm so scared. and my mom and dad are divorced so my mom can't do anything. help me please please please I'm freaking out!!! oh I'm 14 an I'm a girl. and it's not like I'm saying or doing anything bad he just is very overprotective and he's not one of the nicer parents you'll meet. (link)
|
Here's a parent view....your 14 and all he wants to do is protect you from everything. I know it comes across as being being mean and very strict and it very well maybe. Talk to your dad about your phone and the messages. Open up to him about what your doing and what your NOT doing. In a world of tech gadgets and all the stories out there I think that parents tend to jump to conclusions about what their teen is doing. While you may not think that he's a nice parent, it is a lot harder when you have to be the bad guy. He loved you enough to want to know what you are doing.
talk to your dad and you may find out that he really is on your side and there for you.
|
I am not sure where to begin….I have a cousin that I have been extremely close to over the years. I would consider her my closest and best friend. Recently, my brother has been forced to acknowledge he has had a chronic drinking problem. We all live in the same town, and we have always gotten together for kids’ parties, holidays, etc.
At the critical point of my brother’s alcohol problem, my cousin was deciding whom to invite to her wedding. My brother’s wife had moved from the marital home with the children. When asked my opinion, I suggested that she at least invite the sister-in-law and the children, as we didn’t know if my brother was going to stay on the recovery program. She elected not to invite my brother, and his immediate family. When she sent me a text message stating this, I expressed that it wasn’t right. This starting a text message war of words, so to speak. Countless times, I tried to speak to her via phone and in person, and she refused to correspond except texting. I explained that I thought we were misunderstanding tones, etc., but she won’t communicate any other way. She explained that she didn’t invite my sister-in-law and the kids because she considered them “ex”s from the family. I honestly didn’t think that the circumstances were the same as a divorce, but I understood and respected her opinion. She has said very nasty things via text messaging, and all were hurtful. She seems like, for the past few months, she really doesn’t want to resolve this. Now the wedding is in two weeks. I have received an invitation, and didn’t RSVP because of the nasty comments made. I am wondering though, if I should take my kids to the service only, at least to show support for my uncle. I initially didn’t want to go because I believed that since my brother and his family wasn’t invited, it wasn’t right for me to go. Now, I am not sure. Any advice is appreciated.
(link)
|
Weddings seem to sometime take something small and make it so much larger. This is your cousin and your friend. This is her big day and everyone is asking her to do something for them and she's trying to make everyone happy, so she's stressed. I understand that you are hurt that she didn't invite your sister-in-law and the kids, but that is her choice, not yours. You told her how you feel about it and its time to let it go.
Go to the wedding and celebrate her marriage and show her that no matter what happens with all the family drama that you are there for her.
|
Me 13/f
him 13/m
I have posted ALOT of questions on here so if you feel like reading those, just go to my page or column or watever. Anyways here's the story.
I am IN LOVE with this guy. He is my best guy friend. We live three houses away. So I hang out with him somtimes. I've even been inside his house. We always walk home together. Lately on our walks home he has been "touching" me. It's mainly my butt but he's started touching my boobs. I always move away and call him a pervert. Bt he asks me if i want him to stop. And I just don't say anything. Bc if I tell him to stop then he'll think I don't like him when I do. So a few days ago we were testing and I asked him who his crush was and he said this other girl that used to be my best friend. We arnt enemies we just barely talk anymore. But she has a boyfriend. Then when he asked me who I like I told hi
that I liked him. Then he said he had to go. Then the next day he asked me if I wanted to go over to his house and have sex. So I said that I wish I could but I was at my grandmas. (we were just messin around. I am waaay to young for sex.) and he told me to prove that I wanted to and I asked how. And he told me to send him a pic of me naked or come over. So then I told him no and we had a huge convince abot that. Then he just stopped textin me. And now everytime we text, he barely says anything. So my question is.......what's going on. Does he like me or not. (link)
|
No he's not interested in you for a relationship but to see how much you will let him do. When you told him that you liked him he already knew that and then just used that information to see if he could get you to do more for him. You never have to prove your feeling for someone. Don't let guys start telling you that you have to prove how you feel by doing something sexual.
He lived close to you just tell him that you want to be friends and if he gets cranky about that then he really isn't someone you want to have as a friend.
|
my boyfriend and i are having our anniversary coming up and i need some help with a few things.
im doing a few things for him involving our "firsts" together. like where we went to dinner, what movie we saw, where we kissed and all that. but the one i need help on is when he told me he loved me...we were sitting on my dock at night looking up at the stars..so im trying to get him a little gift that symbolizes that, or maybe doing something that symbolizes that...any ideas? also what are some other firsts you might suggest?
and guys....how do you feel about get professional massages...like a couples massage? me & my bf always give eachother massages and i was thinkging i could get us real ones....or maybe should i just stick with giving eachother ones? (link)
|
Ahh...the first anniversary, one thing you might want to do is something so simple as taking him back to dock and simply give him a kiss and thank him for a wonderful memory.
A couples message is always nice but first hint around to see how he would feel about that.
If you don't have a lot of money they have message oils/gels out there that you could pick up one and just give him a nice relaxing message :)
Enjoy and Happy anniversary!
|
|
hey im 16 and im a male, girls.....this one is for you, is a guy being to nice to you a good thing or a bad thing, nice to a point where hes a real gentleman, opening doors for you, wlaking you to the door step, paying for your ticket and maybe sometimes dinner, depends on the occasion, is that a turn on or turn off about a guy, i thought it was a turn on??? (link)
|
Being a gentleman is a lost art that people forget is something that men use to always do.It is a form of respect a man gives to a woman but opening the door and walking them to their door. Opening the door for someone and walking them to their door is a wonderful gesture, just don't make it creepy by saying something rude.
If you are on a date, this is a wonderful thing to do, but some girls don't really understand that you are showing her you care enough to do these things. Paying for dinner/event ticket will depend on if you asked the girl on a date. If you are just friends with a girl this is not ok to do.
In order to 'turn on' a girl, be yourself and the right girl will love all the wonderful things you do!
|
my boyfriend and i will have been dating for 6 months on june 30th. im terrible with ift giving and planning romantic days and he is like the best ever, but this time i really want to do something special. we go to college together but during the summer we are 3 hours apart. the 30th is on a wednesday & we will be together the weekend before, but i was thinking about going to visit him on the 30th as a surprise. but that is also a lot of driving, so right now idk if i can do that for sure. I was thinking of surprising him & then making reservations at the restaraunt we had our first date at. if i do all this then i also just want to get him a small gift...or making something that will really just show him how much i love & care about him....but im really not creative so i need some help please!!
also...if i end up not being able to drive down there & surprise him will you please give me some bigger ideas i could do from three hours away?
also...he lives in a house with a couple other guys but we hang out a lot there & watch movies and get to sleep togehter...so i want to do something more special and different from the usual.....thanks in advance! (link)
| |
Write him a love letter, its something personal and very special. Dinner together can be something easy and make it a picnic...if you don't think you can be there on the 30th you could send him something that you know he likes. Good luck and what ever you do do it from the heart!
|
I've heard about girls loving big dicks. I don't really know why though. I know that line about "not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean" but it seems like it must not be so true since so many girls are raving about how huge penises really do the trick for them. Even pornstars show off their size.
I'm definitely no porn star though and I don't have a big one. So, I'm just curious why girls do prefer bigger penises? I don't have a problem with it. If it's just the way it is then it's just the way it is. Can anyone offer me some answers though as to why girls prefer it? Out of pure curiosity, of course... (link)
|
The age old question and one that I'm sure many men are really concerned about. No size doesn't matter if you know what you are doing. I think when porn stars are talking about penis size its because they are there doing a job and large is good because they can feel it and its not as emotional for them, they need to focus on something and in that case large will work, also people who are paying for porn and watching it don't want to see average. So looking to porn to see what women like isn't the answer.
Talk to your partner and find out what pleases them and if you have that emotional connection your boat can just a dingy and still sail the high sea's like a yacht!
|
|
16/f. There is this girl that I just became close with. I wouldn't consider her a best friend but we give each other advice all the time. Her birthday's coming up and I'm not sure what to give her. I was thinking about buying her something but when I asked her what kind of things she likes she said "i like the little things in life like letters, uummm self made things like bracelets or whatever. nothing big" I am not creative whatsoever. Any ideas? (link)
| |
there are many websites that can give you great idea's for bracelets to make for her. However it sounds like she likes writing and you can put together a really nice journal for her with color paper, check any craft store for idea's on how to make the book, but to make it more personal, write her a note in the book and turn it into a friendship circle book, where you by putting the first letter in the book to her, she reads and then writes you a letter and gives you the book back. You can put pictures and basically anything but its about sitting down and writing the letter to her and her to you that makes it very personal.
|
|
I recently turned 21. I was very excited for it and still am. I'm a responsible and sensible person, I go to school and work full time. When I'm not busy, I like to let loose and have a good time. The thing is, I like alcohol, very much. The problem is, my mom absolutely hates it since her mother (my grandmother) was an alcoholic. Every time I go out, she gives me this look and gets upset because she knows I'm going to drink. I can't stand it, because it makes me feel guilty for nothing and I end up not having a good time. I love my mom and tell her everything, but this is one thing that we disagree on and is tearing at our relationship. Turning 21 was supposed to be fabulous, but it's her nightmare. How do I handle this situation? (link)
|
Ask your mom what shes really scared of. Be open and honest about why your drinking. Being a parent of a child that is 21 where alcoholism runs in the family I worry as well. She is scared for you and things are different now for people who drink with the law then they were before, so she has a lot to worry about. Don't let this come between you two. Make sure that when you do talk to her that you listen with an open heart to what she is saying.
you sound like a very responsible person and let her know that you are aware of the dangers, and that right now you need to test out the waters.
|
|