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Painless Daeth
I'm a 20 year old female. I hate my life, I got Herpse from somewhere unknown I have alway been honest with my boyfriend. I also have erythema muliforme, which is an overreaction to the Herpse, every 3 weeks i break out i have black spots, painfull boils, itchy painfull blisters, and cold sores all over my body and face that dont go away, I used to be pretty now i cant even look at myself without crying.... I have thought to just end this pain and this hummilation. I'am a coward and i don't want to live as a monster... I thought about cutting my wrist,I think that would be a easy way, however i heard that advil od was also painless.
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bad idea first of life is amazing you have alot to be thankful for loke at everyone around you there are peaople suffering and dying right now be thankful for what you have obviously your boyfriend thenks your beautiful remember that god loves you and to be thankful... and killing yourself is a fast pass to hell
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Take a deep breath and think about all that you have to live for. Others here have offered you some great suggestions and also offered you help with the erythema muliforme, so there is a lot of hope!
Talk with your boyfriend about how you are feeling, be honest with him. If you are still feeling this way please go and talk with your doctors and find out from them what can be done. There are medications that are short term to help you with the depression.
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Trust me hun. You don't want to kill yourself. As you said, you have a boyfriend. I am sure you have a family. Think about what would happen to them if you did that. Think about how much they would miss you.. You might think that you look like a monster and I am sure that it is painful. But one thing you can do to help you through it is think about your family and how much you mean to them. Even if you don't think you look beautiful doesn't mean they don't... Let me know how everything goes... and really think about what I said.
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You cannot have a painless death, I do not know any dead people who came back and said it was painless. Plus your only 20, you can definitely become pretty again. You can turn those cries in the mirror to a smile of relief. Anything is possible, ANYTHING. I think of dying sometimes too & slow painful for some reason. But I just cannot die over something that can be solved. Just be patient & trust me, you will be happy again. I'm patiently waiting for someone & sometimes I feel like giving up. But I'm stuck to waiting. And I feel them coming soon. You should feel your prettiness coming soon too, sorry If I'm no help. Remember, you'll feel happier if you just solve your things. : )
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I know how it is to have herpes sores and feel like an ugly monster. I understand that. I don't have the erythema muliforme issue but I can still relate in many ways, especially when I was a child and suffered a severe allergic reaction to mosquito bites. It can be very embarrassing, I understand.
Whoever told you that this was lifelong lied though. Herpes IS a forever disease you will have to deal with but not erythema muliforme. I read up on your condition and did you know that someday it will all just stop? It does. Your body stops having the reaction and everything. Sometimes it's induced by some very simple lifestyle changes. Changes that you can actually make today, as in, right this very minute.
First, you should definitely see a immunologist because your regular physician isn't likely to have extensive knowledge on this condition. They may know basics that they quick-read up on when they heard about your condition but they can't offer immune therapy. Try to find your local immunologist and explain your condition to them. They may be able to offer helpful treatments to minimize your breakouts.
Changes you can make today:
I was reading on causes of this rare immune problem and it seems that a simple food preservative may be linked to the bodily outbreaks. It's an extremely common additive so it's highly likely you ingest a lot of it each day in very simple foods like breads. Sodium benzoate is what it will be listed in on the ingredients section. There are also some fruits that naturally contain this substance that you will want to start cutting out of your diet completely.
Some for-sure things you want to avoid: Apples, plums, cranberries, prunes, pickles, sodas, most salad dressings, all jams and fruit juices, artificial sweeteners, cinnamon, various condiments like mustard, cough syrups, and alcohol-based mouthwashes. You can find lots more by just looking through Google or reading the food labels in the supermarket.
Start reading the labels and avoiding it whenever possible. It can be tough to do but it's necessary at this point. You might consider changing your entire diet around--there are lots of healthier choices like vegetarianism, vegan, fruitarian, and even a raw diet. If you can find a healthy diet that reduces the amount of this simple preservative then that might be the way to do.
Again, this illness will eventually fade off. You won't have outbreaks any more. The sooner you can start reducing the outbreaks, the better, right? :)
Sometimes you have to make drastic changes to improve yourself. It's like wanting to be thin and pretty but having to lose 100lbs first to get to your goal. You can't just sit back and wait for it to magically disappear. You have to take action. I believe in you. I know you can change things up and see an improvements.
For the herpes outbreaks, it might be helpful to try to reduce the occurrence of them as well. Try picking up a bottle of L-Lysine and avoiding foods full of wheat gluten and various preservatives. L-Lysine can be taken for 2 weeks straight at up to 3000mg of lysine through the day. After two weeks, you'll want to give your body a break of the lysine for another 2 weeks. It helps you body from becoming a little immune to it. It isn't going to stop your outbreaks completely but it can help reduce the severity and the occurrence rate. You may also want to pick up things that will help your skin heal like vitamin E, vitamin C, and even some zinc.
Make sure you drink lots and lots of pure, clean water. No added flavors or anything. And take a multivitamin each day.
For note, you can contract herpes in a huge multitude of ways. You can get them even if you use condoms. You can get them from people who aren't having an outbreak (or maybe don't even know THEY have contracted herpes yet). You can have caught them in infancy or during childbirth and grew up not knowing. I caught the virus from drinking after my mother, who had outbreaks on her lips during the winter. Some people have outbreaks once every 10 years while others have outbreaks every month. It varies and, so, nobody is going to point fingers at you for being a "cheater" because you're not one.
Suicide isn't going to make the suffering end. I am a firm believer that the pain just dissipates to the people around you, who do love you and care about you. Nobody wants to see you suffer but NOBODY wants to see you die. Slitting your wrists is a very ineffective way to commit suicide anyway. You don't want to go out like that.
You have so much opportunity. I can see a very bright side on this. You suffer greatly but what if your problem goes away one day? What if you're the person they find an instant cure with? What if you can live 10 years from now and talk to people who do suffer from this and say, "I know it's hard. I dealt with it. I had these sores. I'm healed now and you can be too. There is hope!" Because there is always hope.
See a doctor that specializes in this. Start with a immunologist and, if they can't offer much more, ask them if they know if someone local that may be more helpful.
Change your diet. Look for the preservative in your purchases and try to avoid it. I know it can be hard to give up some of your favorite foods but one day you'll be able to eat them again.
Take care of your health. You're important. You have a great amount of positive opportunity with this. You can do great things if you can just take some more steps. You can really make a difference in the world. I know it sounds cheesy but it's true. You already have you foot in the door. It's time to take the right steps to walk on in.
Everyone here on the Advicenators site believes in you. We don't want to see you suffer but we do want to see you get better. All hope is not lost. You will not have to live this way forever. We know it's hard. We know it's scary and painful. We know you can make it through this though and become a strong, courageous person who can literally become a role model for thousands of people.
Suicide isn't the answer. I promise.
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Don't be tricked into this, if you kill yourself, I don't believe you'll see a happy ending on the other side.
I really encourage you to ask jesus into your heart, though you might hate me or dislike my answer it is the only truth and way to life.
Focus on the important things, and important things isn't what is in this life, but what is in the unseen.
at 20, you're very young, I am 19 myself and also young, you do still have a worldly life to live by. but I again suggest asking Jesus.
It is not an easy thing following Jesus
as the gate to life is very narrow compared to the wide gate that leads to obvious destruction
Hate me, but if I don't tell you this I am a fool.
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