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November 14, 2004Answers:
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Hey guys my name's Erin, and I love helping people. I know how hard life can be at times, and sometimes you just need some adivse. That's what I'm here for. Whatever the question is, I'll be more than happy to answer it!
advice
I lost my virginity and it doesnt seem like it was what i had actually wanted to happen.. people who arent virgins... can u tell me how it went for you cause im jus really curious now. none of my friends have lost their virginity yet so its kinda hard to talk to them about it. thanks!
i think i know where ur coming from. i was the first of my friends to lose their virginity, and after i was scared that i had made the wrong decision, so i didn't do it again for a while after that. i realized later that i was ready to do it again, and i'm glad i did. if ur like me it might just take time for it to sink in, or maybe you really weren't ready. in which case just don't do it again until you are ready. i know for me the whole experience of it caught me really off guard because it was not what i had expected at all, and i think that was what made me wait a while before doing it again. i hope this helped!
i am 18 and still a virgin! when i see people on tv having sex they make it look like it last forever.does it? i masturbate and the sensation only last about 10 seconds! so will it be like that when i have sex?
sex can last as long as u want it to. just because the orgasm only lasts 10 seconds doesn't mean that sex only lasts 10 seconds. i'm sure u know from masturbating that it takes a little while to actually reach an orgasm, and that's what sex is. this is the reason people on tv can have sex for a while, cause they're able to hold off having an orgasm for a while and enjoy just having sex. but like someone else said, it's hard to explain it until you've had it.
im 16 and havnt had a period for just over a year.im not preganat cos i dun tests.i cant have cancer so young can i?i stopped having them about a month after losing my virginaty.i havnt got std cos i ahd a screening.wahts wrong i started like when i was 13.neone know?plse help swn cheers xxx
my question is why you waited a year to ask these questions. you should have gone to your mother as soon as you realized that you missed your first period-like when it was a month late. she may ask you if you've had sex, but it's all for your health. if you don't go get it checked out there could be something seriously wrong with you that you won't get cured. i have no idea what could cause this, but please talk to your mom. i know this may sound a little mean, but it's the truth. there is no healthy reason as to why a girl would be a year late on her period. if you really don't want to tell your mom, you could always go to like a planned parenthood place and ask them to help. but mom's always best.
ok i know this was stupid of me but i told my boyfriend that i have had sex with 3 guys but ive really only had sex with 1 and it was a long time ago and he was really small so im still really tight down there. im afraid hes going to be disappointed because im really tight and hes gonna have to go slow at first. what should i do? or will he care that im tight? please help
honestly, most guys like it when girls are tight-it's more pleasurable for them...unless you're too tight that he can't go in. if you're scared that it'll hurt and you want him to go slow, you can either just tell him the truth, or just tell him to go slow at first, so it lasts longer, or so it feels better, or whatever excuse you can think of. if you tell him the truth, he might be disappointed that you lied, but i don't htink he'll be disappointed that you're tight.
My boyfriend and I have beentogether a long long time. I love him alot and as of late we have been doing alot of new stuff. But i feel like that hes doing alot for me and im not doing enough for him. Any thing I can do to help him enjoy it more?
if you feel like you're not doing enough for him, just ask him what you can do to make the experience better! you don't have to do EVERYTHING that he says, but have an open mind out it and just have fun. it may seem weird at first if you're not used to doing different things, but once you get used to it, it's a lot of fun!
im 18 years old and my boyfriend and i have been together for almost a year and were thinking about having sex.. if we do, do i need to see a gynocologist (sp?). thats what ive heard but i need to know if its really necessary and how i would set it up. and what would happen there if i went?
you don't HAVE to go, but it's advised that you do. it's also a good idea to go once you turn 18 anyways, just to make sure everything's ok down there. you can either ask your mom to set it up for you, or you can call yourself. most doctor's offices do papsmears and gynocological exams, so you could just call your doctor and ask if they do it there. then you set up the appt and go! all that happens there is your doctor looks inside to make sure everythings alright. she/he insterts a small metal object to, open you up-but don't worry-it doesn't hurt at all-it's just so she can see better. then she takes a papsmear to make sure your healthy, and then you're good to go! it's nothing to be worried about, and it takes a total of maybe 10 minutes. good luck, and remember, just be safe!
Hey, im really scared about doing stuff sexually with a guy because of some of the stuff with my body..do guys care what a body looks like? i have stretch marks on my boobs because they grew so fast..and i have little dots on my but..and i dont know why? i just wanted to ask you if a guy cares about what his girlfriends body looks like to do sexual stuff with her.. i havent done anything yet...but im scared of what might happen when we do stuff..thanks!
if your boyfriend really likes you, then no it won't matter what your body looks like, because he is dating you for who you are, not for what you look like. if you are still self-conscious about it, just talk to him about it. im sure he'll tell you that he doesn't care what your body looks like, and everything will be fine. if he does care, then i would suggest dumping him because no guy should care. hope this helped, and good luck!
well me and my boyfriend have been together for 10 months now and well it took 4 months for me to kiss him and well thats all ive ever done with anyone...well now hes kinda wanting more and is testing his limits and well i know its normal for guys to try that but i dont know...im only 14 is it normal for 14 year olds to do stuff like that? see my boyfriend has always gottin some from everyone hes been with accept me, but i kinda know that he cares for me b/c he waited so long and well if i do get up the nerve to do it once, will i have to do it alot? is he going to expect that more? should i do it? any advise?
if all you've ever done is kissed, there's plenty more for you to do besides sex, and no it doesn't mean that you have to do it a lot. but don't do it if you don't feel comfortable. i know he's probably getting antsy, but that's completly normal. if he's waited for you this long, i'm sure that he'll wait until you feel ready to experiment more. if you do it, he will expect that you guys do it more often. only you can decide if you should do it or not, but really think things through, and make sure that you are completly comfortable with him and trust him and that you are positive that you are ready. the worst thing would be for you to do it and then regret it. take your time, think things through, and be safe. hope this helped, and good luck.
This is a little embarrassing but when i go to have sex with my gf i can't seem to hold an erection my penis goes soft and i can't get it up
i don't get another erection im not sure what to do im worried my penis is not real big only 3.5 inches long could that be the problem what can i do?
umm, since i'm not a guy, i can't give you the best advice on this topic, but i can try. if you're able to hold an erection when you guys are just fooling around, i.e. when she's giving you a hand job or blow job, then maybe it's because you're nervous to have sex with her. i've heard that sometimes when a guy is nervous to have sex for whatever reason he has a hard time keeping it up. also, if you've already fooled around a lot before you have sex, sometimes you have just overworked it and you just need a longer break. if none of this is the problem, try a lot of foreplay before you have sex, and make sure that you are as hard as you can be before you have sex, then you should be fine. i have no idea if size can have anything to do with it, but i doubt it. i know this isn't the best advice, but it's the most that i know. maybe try asking a friend about it-a friend that you trust, and see what they say. hope this helped, and good luck
okay. im still a virgin. but i think im ready to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year and 2 months. we have done nothing BUT kissing. and im so happy hes patient with me and doesnt push me to do anything i choose not too. but now i am ready BUT i want to go on birth conrol and use a condom just to be on the safe side. the thing is im not on the pill so what would be the best way to ask my parents to put me on the pill without them thinking imma have sex.? cuz they know im still a virgin and think imma stay one till marriage. which i was planning on doing, but i think im ready to lose it..and i've found that special one to lose it to
ok well first of all, you say you've done nothing but kiss. if that's really the case, i would suggest doing everything else before you have sex, to make sure you are 100% comfortable with the idea. if you still decide you are, then you could either tell your parents that you have really bad cramps, or that your period's been really irregular (but that's a tricky one because they can find out if your lying or not), or depending on how old you are, you can go to planned parenthood or your doctors office on your own and get a perscription for it w/out ur parents knowing. but you have to be 18 to do that. i hope this helped, and good luck
when i first moved in 3 years ago me and this guy joked around a lot. well now i'm in highschool and we have a class with each other. he's a junior and i'm a sophomore. so this weekend he came with me to my job and we kissed. well then here comes saturday and he came over to my house and we messed around a lot. and so then he wanted me to come over to his house. so i did. we had dry . well then on sunday my parents were gone for like 3 hours and he came over and we did it again. except this time we both really wanted to go full out. but we did. but ever since saturday the first day we did it dry, it really hurts down there. will that ever go away?
yes that will go away. if that was the first time you had ever done it with any guy, of course it will hurt. it's nothing to be worried about, and it should go away in a couple days.
im not sure if im pregnant.. my boyfriend and i had sex last week.. and we were protected and all.. and "nothing came out of him" (thats what he said).. i've been having tender breasts lately. i'm not sure if he's lying about nothing happening or whatever, but maybe i'm just overreacting? someone help me!
if you were protected, then the chances are slim. the tender breasts could be from PMS, cause you said your getting your period soon, and that often happens before you get your period. also, if you stress about it, it could make your period late, so try not to stress. that happened to me a couple times, then when i finally relaxed i got my period and everything was fine. so just relax, i'm sure your fine. good luck.
if you had the opportunity to have sex with someone you weren't dating but have hooked up with a lot over the past few months would you? i guess im just wondering because everyone says sex is supposed to be a "special" thing you share with someone you love. I think i'm ready but i'm not even dating the guy let alone love him-so if i think he is the right guy to have sex with is he worth the risk? My friend told me, "if you like him don't do it, if you don't like him then go for it"
also on a side note-if you were my friend would you lose respect for me if i made the decision to have sex?
thanks a lot yall :)
ok i'm going to try not to answer this as a friend, but as an advicenator, so bare with me. first of all, i would not lose any respect for you if you made the decision to have sex, and that person that said they would lose all respect for you if you were their friend is a jackass. but your not their friend, your my friend, and i wouldn't even look at you differently. i would just want to make sure that you made the right decision, and that you were 100% comfortable with the decision you made. crap im being a friend. ok advicenator action here...you say you don't love the guy, and you aren't even dating. many people say that sex is supposed to be "special", but that isn't necessarily true. from experience, sex (or the first time at least), isn't this mind blowing experience that people think it is. i mean a lot of people say that you should definitely not do it until your in love, but honestly, i think that if you're emotionally and physically ready for it, and you truely think he's the right person, then there's no harm in it, as long as you KNOW you won't get attached again like last time...which i think is a big possibility, but i'm not you, so i dont know. anywho, just be sure that you are 100% ready. and honestly, i don't think he's a bad choice for your first...you can do better, but he's definitely not bad-considering how much he's changed. and i'll always love you no matter what, just be smart, k kid? haha i said kid...i don't say kid...be smart babe.
well i like this guy.. duh lol.. so anyways during the summer he told me that he liked me and i didnt like him then but i was really good friends with him so i was flattered but didnt like him back.. so then during the school year we kinda "hooked up" and we went to 3rd base.. and so ever since them i have had feelings for him... whenever hes around other girls i get jealous and it sucks.. i told him that i liked him and said i dunno if it is because we did stuff together or not.. and he just said "aww" and i still have these feelings for him and to make it worse we hooked up again so my feelings are even stronger.. but i dont really want to go out with him.. but i just like him a lot.. sry its so long --please help-- =] x3
well, if you don't really want to go out with him, then it seems like you have your mind made up. chances are the reason you have feelings for him is because you guys hooked up, and if you don't hook up anymore, they will probably go away. try not hooking up with him again, because that'll just make things harder on you. if you just stay friends with him, and keep it purely friends, things should be good between you two. that should't be too hard considering you said you didn't want to go out with him, so it's not like you're waiting for something else to happen. i hope this helped, and good luck.
ok well my best friend is goin out w/ a boy ive nown 8 years and every time he comes over we make out and other stuff and wen he asks for it i give it to him...and i dont want to give that up but she keeps gettin mad at me??but me and him have gone out wen we were younger and all that jiz..its just ive only nown her for a year and ive nown him my whole life and i like him alot..but she goes out w/ him wen she nos i dont like it wen she does so i dont no wat to do.can u give me some advice plz????????ty..
well, you need to talk to your friend. not the guy, you're girl friend. and i'd suggest for the time to stop making out with her bf, because that's just gonna make things harder. but i can see where you'd be upset, specially because you said she knows you didn't want her to go out with him in the first place. you really have to talk to her tho, and tell her that you're hurt that she didn't respect your feelings. but be prepared for her to be hurt that you made out with her boyfriend. it's going to be hard for you guys to come to a conclusion, but i think if you sit down and talk about it, you should be fine, if you guys really are best friends. i hope this helped, and good luck!
me and my bf have been together for a long time now..the only stuff weve done is i gave him a handjob ONCE and that was it. im not a virgin and neither is he. i dont want to have sex with him though because i am so scared to get pregnant its too risky. lately hes been kinda like feeling up my shirt and trying to put his hand in my pants. i always stop him by making an excuse. i dont want to seem like a sissy though. hes done EVERYthing...n ive only done it once...i get nervous now i know he wont do nething till im not ready but i dont know how to tell him. i just get a weird feeling when he wants to do stuff im not ready yet...how do i tell him...=\
you just have to tell him. if you've been going out long enough, it shouldn't be a big deal. you said he woudln't do anything if you're not ready, so you just have to tell him that you don't want to rush anything, and you're just not ready yet. eventhough you aren't a virgin, that doesn't mean that you automatically have to have sex, or even do sexual stuff with every guy you date. don't be ashamed of it or anything, it's actually quite admirable!! just be open and honest with him. your relationship will be stronger that way too. hope this helped. good luck!
I have two questions. It might get a little confusing because I myself am confused. I was at my boyfriends house yesterday and we started doing sexual things and we had sex. The thing is, I'm not sure if you'd consider it to be having sex. We only were doing it for five minutes tops and neither of us "finished" (I didn't have an orgasm and he didn't cum) So my first question was if you would consider that to be sex. The second part of my question is that the first minute or so, he did not have a condom on but I do know that you can get pregnant off of precum. I know there is a certain time where you are least fertile around the time of your period. I had my period the week BEFORE we did that. Someone had told me that you are most fertile the week after you have your period and then another person said that it was the week before. Could someone clear that up for me? I really need some answers. Thank you SO much if you can help! And please, do not say that you "think" that this is when you are least fertile, I need a straight answer. Thank you again.
regardless of whether or not you two had orgasms, it is still considered sex. and you are most fertile in the middle of your cycle, so about 2 weeks before/after your period, and least fertile right after your period. so if you had it the week before, and since he didn't cum, you should be fine. just be sure that next time you use a condom, so you won't have to worry! hope this helped!
i'm 17/f and i thought that i was pretty smart when it came to guys, but on two occasions i became the victim of a guy that wouldn't take "no" for an answer, i didn't get raped, more like pressured into doing something that i didn't want done, it's made me really self consious around other guys, i feel like i'm just an object and that i'm never going to get a good relationship because first off i had a bad experience with guys in the past and i was never close with my dad, and when i was 7 i was molested by my brother, so i've got to ask, am i a whore??
by no means are you a whore! no guy should EVER try and pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. if you still find yourself having trouble coming to terms with what happened in your past, i would suggest going to see a psychologist. they can help you get over your past, and learn what are good and bad signs in a relationship. i hope this helped, and best of luck to you!!
ok, heres the deal, ive been 18 for a month or 2, and heres the deal, im kinda sexually advanced, except ive never actually gone all the way. and ive always been proud of this...untill now, and its freaking driving me nuts, like i all of a sudden have to have it. and this is unbelievably unlike me cuz ive always been the upright goody goody that everyone can always depend on. so for the love of god, somebody give me some advice!!!!!! plz ladies, i need some advice
i was exactly like you. i had done some stuff, but never had sex. when i turned 18, i decided that maybe it was time, and i felt ready. i didn't feel like i had to have it, but i deffinatly felt ready. but again, i've always been a goody goody and dependable, and having sex didn't change either of those. my friends have lost no respect for me whatsoever, and still depend on me. i don't know your situation, but if you don't have a boyfriend, i would suggest against doing it with some random guy. i know some pepole who have, and they regret it so much. if you do have a boyfriend, then by all means, if you feel ready, nothing's holding you back. you're an adult now. have fun! but remember, be safe! ;O) hope this helped!
Well I've known this guy for about 2 years over the internet. (I met him through a friend who met him 6 months before me) We've talked on the phone, sent letters, pictures, webcams, and all of that, also I've talked to his family and friends so that I know everything he says is true. I've told him that I love him, and he says the same to me. When he gets his liscence, he was going to come and visit me. We only live about 5 hours apart... Yeah, we've had our ups and downs but i still love him, even though we're not "going out" or anything. I know he's had sex once before with his ex girlfriend of a year. I would have sex with him, but I'm still a virgin and I think I'm too young. He's not pressuring me or anything, it's something I wanna do. (Please don't lecture me about it, I know, I also don't need inappropriate vulgar remarks thrown at me for this) He's 16 and I'm 14, but I'll be 15 by the time he gets to visit. I just need some help on what to do to make me feel more open with him. I guess I just feel intimidated because it's not his first time. (It's also not like I've never done anything sexual before, just not sex itself) Please help me out with this.
first of all, you need to meet this guy face to face. it's really easy for people to say things over the internet that they don't really mean, because they can't see the person's reaction, they think the reprocussions of what they say are less than what they really are. after you've met him, and get to know him as a person...like a real person, i'd suggest taking things really slow. don't jump right into sex. make sure that you really like the real him, and that he really likes the real you. once you decide whether or not you really like him as a person, then you can consider taking the next step. i would suggest against not having sex because like you said, you are too young. sex is a really intimate thing, and as ready as you think you may be, at such a young age it's hard to grasp everything that's involved in it. but, now that that's said and done, if you do decide you want to have sex with him, make sure you are ready. if you still think you're too young, don't do it. no one's forcing you, so just wait until you are ready. if you are ready, don't worry about the fact that he's not a virgin. if he loves you like you say he does, it won't matter. it will actually probably be better because he knows what he's doing. i hope that helped, and let me know what happens!