I'm a 38 year old psychologist living in Nashville, Tennessee. Until shortly over a year ago, I hosted a radio/tv talk show. At the moment, I'm amid plans to start a new one called, " One Man's Opinion". It's a radio show FOR women, ABOUT men, BY a man.
Seeing that alot of issues are age-related, please state your age when posing a question.
E-mail: cmclinphd@hotmail.com
Gender: Male
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Occupation: Psychologist
Age: 38
Member Since: November 30, 2003
Answers: 349
Last Update: September 15, 2009
Visitors: 28348
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sooo ok dont judge me because im asking this. im completely normal, i just love my boyfriend so much. weve been dating for 2 years and he suffers from schitzophrenia and he refuses to take medication because he hates the way it makes him feel. i feel so horrible 4 him because he is in so much pain and its just getting so much worse. i know he doesnt want to live anymore. yesterday he asked me to kill him and at first i didnt think he was serious but we talked for a while and he said it was the only way or he would do it himself. i dont want him to go to hell for committing suicide so i told him i would kill him so id go to hell instead. i havnt decided if im going to kill myself yet because my boyfriend says he doesnt want me to do that. but i dont know if i could deal with the fact i killed the boy im in love with. but what happens if a 16 year old kills another 16 year old who asked her to do it? jail? death penalty? psychiatric center forever? im not crazy im just putting the one i love out of his misery because i cant stand him being in pain any longer. id rather be in pain for him. just wanna know what would happen. dont try to do all that talking out of it and stuff either. wont work. thanks (link)
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Having an intricate knowledge of the world of schizophrenia, I can and do feel for not just your boyfriend, but for you, as well.
I know the "effects" of what he speaks. I have had several people tell me that they experience something similar and find it difficult to make it through a day. But, might I suggest that your boyfriend speaks with his doctor. he doesn't have to commit to take anything but simply voice his medicinal concerns to him/her. there very well may be alternatives that will ease the condition and not leave him so disturbed by the effects.
As for you. I think you already know that what he's asking you to do is not a viable option. That should not even be something to consider. You say you love him and I believe you. And true, should you find yourself in the position to end his "pain", consider what pain YOU will then experience as a result. Not only that... YOUR pain will be with you, wherever you go, for as long as you live. Is that a pain that he would ask you to endure? Could he possibly want you to carry that burden for the rest of your life? As ex-military, I KNOW what happens when you take a life. I know the changes that take place in the human soul, and it's not something I'd wish on anyone, let alone one as young as yourself. Take that love the two of you have, revel in how much is is, what it gives the two of you, and try to come up with a way to HOLD ON TO IT, BOTH of you. I'm sure at times, he may feel that death is his only viable option, but show him the light he brings you, and show him the joy you can bring to him, and see if you two can't come up with a way to continue experiencing that. I'm not going into the legal ramifications fo doing what you're contemplating, but, you know very well where it will land you, and it's not a pretty place, dear. not by any means. Put your heads together. it's not worth it...for either of you.
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whats a good sex story or stories? i really need to know cuz this guy wants me to tell him one and i cant think of one =/
please help (link)
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a gentleman never tells. and a man who plans to have a meaningful relationship with you doesn't ASK.
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Can you get pregnant without a guy using protection and not cumming inside of you? Is that posible cuz im about to start my period?
(link)
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No, you cant. The spermatozoa has to be present to be impregnated and his not ejaculating inside of you decreases the risk exponentially. BUT, if yu plan to have sex, with him "pulling out", keep in mind that even a small drop "spilled" on you, or just coming in contact with the vagina CAN cause pregnancy. Be safe, if youre going to have sex, use protection.
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everytime i have an orgasm i dont cum... am i quitting too soon or doin something wrong?? all my friends say they cum...o ya... i AM A GIRL! (link)
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I really don't get the question. When you orgasm, you ARE cumming, THATS what orgasm is. I think you may be referring to ejaculate. If thats the case, then dont fret it, not many women do, so you're normal.
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Im a male and im 24,i need tips on how to achive stamina without pills ,creams,pumps or surgery? (link)
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How excited do you still get at the prospect of having sex? The older you get and the more you become attuned to the needs of your partner, the more your mind will be focused on her and not so much the felling youre receiving causing sensory overload, which leads to ejaculation. If none of these are a factor for you, you might want to study the art of tantra. It works wonders for me and Im sure you will find a great deal of information that may be beneficial to you both.
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Hello - I am a 43 yr. old female and my husband is a 33 year old male. Here we go: I have never had an orgasm with my husband of over three years. This man treats me like a queen and has truly tried pretty much everything to help me reach an orgasm to no avail. I truly do understand that "sex" in not all that there is to a marriage but it does seem to me like it is a very important part of marriage. I have had two other serious relationships where I lived with my partner even though we weren't married and have always enjoyed a very active, satisfying sex life so I am very puzzled as to why I cannot seem to have an orgasm with this man. Obviously I am very sexually frustrated at this point to say the least! Since I do not have an orgasm I find that we have gotten to the point where we do not even make love at all anymore, yet this wonderful man chooses to stay with me and love me. I do have panic/anxiety attacks and had thought at one time that the medication that I was taking was maybe interfering with my ability to have an orgasm, however, I was taking this same medication when I was with my ex-fiance and never had this problem. By the way I have talked to my physician and she assures me that the medication that I am taking causes the "least" amount of sexual side effects and offers me no other advice. I honestly do not even "feel" anything sexually awakening in my entire body even when we are totally naked laying with each other. I don't even like the thought of having intercourse with him. As the old saying goes I really do think that I do love this man but am not "in love" with him. He and I are wonderful friends and work well together in this relationship as far as with the finances, home, taking care of one another both emotionally and physically, but I just feel like this is almost more of a "friendship thing" and not a "marriage thing". I also feel very guilty because I think that he should be sexually satisfied - he is still a young man with needs and I am just not fulfilling them. But in all honesty, I am just not into him sexually. I wonder if I should just let this marriage go and let him be free to find happiness elsewhere as he deserves thus freeing myself to pursue possible happiness also. I feel secure in my relationship, but that's about it, I do not feel fulfilled as a woman, nor do I even look forward to him coming home, you know that little feeling you get when you are really into someone and you just can't wait to see them again? - Like I said before: I am just not "feeling" him if you know what I mean. I realized this was a problem a long time ago and I guess I just kept hoping that the sexual part would somehow just magically remedy itself one day, but now I am realizing that it is just not going to happen. I am 43 years old and maybe I am a little scared also of what might come next. Yes maybe the next man may satisfy me sexually, but he might not have all of the positive qualities that the man I am married to does. Besides treating me like a queen in every way, he a very hard worker, does not have a drug problem (and believe me I have had to put up with that in past relationships that caused nothing but major problems not to mention way too many sleepless nights of wondering if that person was ok and not even worrying about my own safety when it came to going out driving around looking for them and ultimately when finding them kicking in the door to many "crack houses" that I now know I could have been killed doing - and eventually a mental/physical breakdown that I refuse to go through again with any man!)and my husband does not ever do the "dissapearing act", where I don't know where he is. He honestly causes me no worried whatsoever. I do believe that is why I keep trying to hang in there - he does bring peace to my life - but yet still I always feel that something is missing - and it is!I have rambled on and on - just alot going through my mind and coming out through my fingers onto this keyboard. It's just that I feel in my soul that this is not a healthy life I am living and I often just sit and cry wondering if this is how I am going to live out my life - and then I just pull myself together thinking how much worse things could be. I thank the Lord everyday for my life in general and have prayed alot about this situation and I don't think that He would mind me getting someone elses opinion/advice - smile. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to "vent". Any suggestions/comments/advice would be much appreciated. Thank You. Signed ~Sexually Frustrated! (link)
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You know, I sympathize with you but I'm REALLY wondering if you think he's "too good" for you. Judging by your description of your past relationships, you may feel that he's too good. Now how does that bleed over into the sexual arena? Well, it very well could be that the "bad nature" of the guys you have been accustomed to dating is what really turned you on about them, without your present husband possessing that "quality", you may feel less connected to him in that manner and HIS bad nature is what may be "missing". You feel the need to do the "right" thing, live the right life, etc etc, and actually, that's leaving you resentful. It also sounds to me like you really want out of the marriage and know it's going to make you look like the villian, so you're trying to find autruistic means of doing it, " He deserves better, he desereves a good sex life, etc, etc ". You're going to have to admit that you miss the "action" and "drama" that was present in your past relationships. Sit down and talk to your husband about it. Tell him what the real problem is, how it's leaving you, and how it's affecting your relationship with him. Tell him above all, what you REALLY want. If it's your marriage with him, tell him, if you think it's not, you need to tell him that, too. I would really like to know if you still masturbate. If so, are you capable of having an orgasm in that manner. If oyu can, what are you doing THEN that you're not doing with the husband? What's going through your head? Talk it over with him, and try to implement some of the things that you do while ou masturbate. If you don't masturbate, maybe you should start. Get your body accustomed to reaching a climax again and simply knowing that you're capable will relieve alot of the tension you feel when you're with him. I'm sure you are probably at the point now where you start a love-making session with the thought that you AREN'T going to orgasm, already in your head. That only adds to the tension and anxiety. If you're that tense, you'll never orgasm. I'd love to discuss this more but I only have so much info availed to me.Don't thank me for allowing you to vent, thats why I'm here, you're no bother. If you and your husband like, feel free to use the address on here to write me personally, so you don't have to post it in the forum. In either regard, please send me a follow up and let me know how things are going....or.... "coming". Sorry, I had to :) Good luck to you both.
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My father molested me when I was 9. (link)
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I thought that maybe the case. Although there is still something very wrong with what you are doing with family members and your big sex drive, it's understandable clinically. I don't think you meant for this to be be aired publicly on my site, but it is. If you want to talk privately, then copy my e mail address and go to your e mail and write me from there. If you ever need to talk about anything, I'll be there for you.
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how do you make out with someone if you have braces???????? this boys wants to make out with me but i have braces so i donno how?? and its my first time!! help now! (link)
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No offense, but if 1. you have braces, you're probably too young to be thinking of sex. 2. If you happen to be a post-pubescent with braces and you STILL don't know, you're probably not ready for sex, and if you're an ADULT who happens to have braces and you're even asking this question, then guess what?......yeah, you probably shouldn't be having sex. I think waiting, until the braces come off or until youhave a clearer understanding of how things work, would be the best answer all the way around. Good luck.
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This is really embarassing for me to ask but oh well, here goes...
When I go swimming I wear a bathing suit (duh). But I notice that my pubic hair pokes out through the material (in front). It isn't that noticeable but it's embarassing and you CAN see it. I don't think shaving would help, I think it would just make ot worse. I tried trimming it a bit but that didn't work either! What can I do to stop this???? (link)
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Shaving DOES help.
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Whats does it mean when guys have wet dreams???
I am 11 years old
(link)
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It simply means that the young man has entered into puberty. Having dones so, the body has created an excessive amount of sperm that has to be released. When it gets to that point, the body tales over and handles it in its own method. That's when wet dreams occur.
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When I was about 6-8, I was friends with this girl. When she came over to my house or when I'd go over to hers, she;d want to play house. She always wanted me to be the dad or the boyfriend or just the guy. She'd want to kiss me and "do it" with me. We did kiss, several times. And we'd get naked and rub each other or finger each other. This comes back to haunt me all the time. How do I deal with this? (link)
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I wish you had stated what it is about the incidents that bother you. Is it that you're now having questions of your own sexuality and that's what bothers you, or is that you KNOW what your sexuality is, are rebelling against it, and think that the earlier times may have had soemthing to do with it. I'd ask you to think long andhard about what's really bothering you about it, and then you can start to make progress toward becoming at ease with it.
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im 13 and my penis is like 2 to 3 inches is that about right for my age
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Yes it is.
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I'm 14 year old girl. and I'm a little confused by stuff... at my school and with pretty much everyone I know it's not really a big deal to make out with someone you don't know or just met and I admit that I have. ALot of the time you can't really go out with anyone unless you give them a handjob or something. It seems sort of wrong to me, and it go me thinking about abunch of stuff.
When I was younger I thought that I wouldn't have sex until I was married and I realized that I don't care about that. Now I just don't know when is the right time to have sex.
Friends of mine have said that they are just going to get it over with at a party we're going to soon or that they'll do it when we enter high school next year.
I was just thinking. How do I know when the right time is for me? I don't care about losing it before I'm married or out of high school, I just want it to be right.
How do I keep myself from doing something stupid that I can't take back? (link)
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You've answered your own question. You stated that " It seems sort of wrong" to you. If you have that idea or anything like it, then chances are good that it's not the right time.
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my partner and i love our sex life, but she won't give me head like she used to. before she would try to deepthroat all the time and now she only sucks enough of it to shut me up. how can i bring out the animal that she usd to be? (link)
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Have you asked her the reasoning behind this and if so, what is it? It may be that she feels slighted in some way and feels that she is giving more than shye is getting. This may lead to resenment on her behalf. Ask her if there's anything you could do to make the entire lovemaking experience better for her. Once she feels that she's just as important, then maybe she'll gladly return to the "animal" that she used to be.
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how many fingers do i use to finger my self? because i want it to feel good but i dont want it to hert? how many??? (link)
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Well, only you can determine that. Different peopole have different slants on what feels "good" to them. For them it may be two, where you may find that you are totally satisfied with only one. Some women find that it's not necessary to insert ANY fingers. They find adequate stimulation externally by gently caressing or massaging the "lips". Take your time, get to know yourself and YOu determine what's best for you, noone else can.
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I went to this party and I'm 15 and I drank but I only had one beer and than I woke up the next morning in my bed. After that for the next couple of weeks I got sick daily, I started to get worried and had my friend buy a pregnancy test for me and it turned out that I was pregnant. I don't know how that's possible because I'm a virgin. But I can't remember what happened that night at the party. I don't know what to tell my parents.
~Pregnant?~ (link)
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How much do you remember about the party other than having the one beer? Who gave it to you? Was it open already or did you have to open it? If you ARE pregnant, and you ARE indeed a virgin, then you may have had something slipped to you in your drink. As sad as it sounds, it's avrey common happening these days, especially when the drinkers aren't of age, and quite often rely on others for their alcoholic consumption.
I would suggest you schedule a vaginal exam. They would be able to determine if there was any sexual contact. Talk to friends.....if you were drugged, believe me, someone knows something. try to find out all you can to protect both you and others from going through this again.
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any good masturbation tips for females and also 3-somes? (2gurls and a guy or 2guys and a gurl) (link)
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If there's more than just you, it ceases to be masturbation.
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A good girlfriend of mine from college killed herself on Saturday after a fight she had with her fiance. She was never the kind of girl I would have ever guess to do this sort of thing. So when she called me that night I wasn't in the mood to go party (my boyfriend and I had had a huge fight)I ignored her call and turned off my phone. She called me four times, that night. Monday morning she was found dead. The police called me Monday afternoon, it is thier policy to investigate each death to be sure it is a suicide. They said that my number was the last one on her phone as a listed call.
I am devistated. I cannot face anyone. I resent my boyfriend because of his picking a stupid fight. I feel as though I really screwed up. I was not their for her and she reached out to me.
But my question is why me? Her and I were good friends in college but we had lost touch since she had been engaged we talked maybe every couple of weeks and only briefly. We're always saying that we needed to make plans but it never happened. She was always close to her mom and I am sure she had better friends than me, I know her best firend lived far away. But Mellisa was the kind of girl who always had tons of friends. Why out of all the people she could have called would she call me? I am always going to carry around this responsible feeling and it really is bringing me down. I just feel so powerless.
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Noone can say why she called you but her. She may have felt that you would understand what she may have been going through and that's what she was looking for. You could have also been the 5th or 15th person she called that night, we'll never know. I know you probably feel responsible. not for her death, but for "failing" to be there. That leaves you to think, " Maybe I could have done something. Maybe if.......she wouldn't be dead." I know the feeling and it's common. But, in my experience. If someone's going to commit suicide, they usually do. Others voice it, talk about it, bring it up, etc. so that someone can catch on and stop them. They don't really want to die. You said you never though she woud be the type. That tells me that she never brought it up, never mentioned it or even touched on the subject seriously enough to make you stop and wonder. So, that tells me, that there may not have been much that you could have done. She wanted to die. She probably saw that as her only out. It's not your fault. You couldn't, nor will you ever, be able to be "everything to everybody". I know your sadness. Experience it, move through it, and eventually, you'll move beyond it. What happend was a sad, sad tragedy, but sooooooooo not your responsibility. If you still want to talk about this further, just e mail me. I'll be more than happy to discuss it with you.
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i want to do it on prom night but what if my boyfriend forgets a condum i mean should i wait till he gets one or shouldi go make him buy one? (link)
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Under NO circumstances should you have sex without a condom. I would tell you to wait period, but, it seems that you've already made your mind up. With that being said...don't EVER have sex without a condom. I know it's hard to believe, but it could cost you the rest of your life.
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Okay, so I've liked this guy for a while, but he wasn't really into having a girlfriend. It took me a while, I'm still hurting, but I've managed to step away for a bit and let him go. If it's meant to be it'll happen, he's a great guy, but it hurts too much to wait. Well, I started to meet new people, and one of them happens to be 20. He's really nice, but kind of strange. I'm not sure if he really likes me, or just wants to get in my pants. Also, he's really depressed and slightly suicidal. Then there's this other guy. He's 17 (i'm 16), and seems nice. I met him through my best friend (a guy), but from what I've heard he's a player and he's also got like, 3 other girls he's flirting with. My friend told me that he's not a cheater, and is looking for a girlfriend... but I dunno. It's just really frustrating! Where are all the really great guys? The ones who can commit? I'd really like to be w/ the first guy, but he may not wanna get together for a while... if ever. I'm just really pissed, where's my price charming? What should I do? I really need some help. Thanks, and srry for the length. (link)
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Prince Charming doesn't exist, hon. He never did. NOONE will ever be everything you need/want in a man. But, you can and should, decide what will make you happy and not take anything less than that from anyone.
As for the one you've liked for a while. You did the right thing, give him some room, let him gather his thoughts. If he comes to you, great. If not, then you'll not have wasted your time.
As for the 20 year old. Hmmmmm, ok. ANY 20 year old who even THINKS about doing anything with a 16 year old is bad news, trust me on this one. You should already consider him a non-factor. Not to mention he's depressed and suicidal. How can anyone who thinks their own life is so unimportant possibly think yours is?
As for the last one. Anyone flirting with three girls at once is a player, hon. I don't care what you call it. If he's truly looking for a girlfriend, his actions should tell you that. He'll stop seeing the others, make himself more available to you, and you won't find yourself having to ask the question, " What should I do". Any time you have to question where to go with someone, then chances are good that there's nowhere to go.
Take your time. You're only 16. What's the rush? Slow down and really take a good look at the guys you meet. Who knows....you may even see one riding up on a horse one day and prove me wrong. But as for now. There are no 16, 17 or 20 year old Prince Charmings.
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