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I'm a 38 year old psychologist living in Nashville, Tennessee. Until shortly over a year ago, I hosted a radio/tv talk show. At the moment, I'm amid plans to start a new one called, " One Man's Opinion". It's a radio show FOR women, ABOUT men, BY a man.
Seeing that alot of issues are age-related, please state your age when posing a question.
Gender: Male
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Occupation: Psychologist
Age: 38
Member Since: November 30, 2003
Answers: 349
Last Update: September 15, 2009
Visitors: 18246

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whats a good sex story or stories? i really need to know cuz this guy wants me to tell him one and i cant think of one =/

please help (link)
a gentleman never tells. and a man who plans to have a meaningful relationship with you doesn't ASK.

Can you get pregnant without a guy using protection and not cumming inside of you? Is that posible cuz im about to start my period?
No, you cant. The spermatozoa has to be present to be impregnated and his not ejaculating inside of you decreases the risk exponentially. BUT, if yu plan to have sex, with him "pulling out", keep in mind that even a small drop "spilled" on you, or just coming in contact with the vagina CAN cause pregnancy. Be safe, if youre going to have sex, use protection.

everytime i have an orgasm i dont cum... am i quitting too soon or doin something wrong?? all my friends say they cum...o ya... i AM A GIRL! (link)
I really don't get the question. When you orgasm, you ARE cumming, THATS what orgasm is. I think you may be referring to ejaculate. If thats the case, then dont fret it, not many women do, so you're normal.

Im a male and im 24,i need tips on how to achive stamina without pills ,creams,pumps or surgery? (link)
How excited do you still get at the prospect of having sex? The older you get and the more you become attuned to the needs of your partner, the more your mind will be focused on her and not so much the felling youre receiving causing sensory overload, which leads to ejaculation. If none of these are a factor for you, you might want to study the art of tantra. It works wonders for me and Im sure you will find a great deal of information that may be beneficial to you both.

Hello - I am a 43 yr. old female and my husband is a 33 year old male. Here we go: I have never had an orgasm with my husband of over three years. This man treats me like a queen and has truly tried pretty much everything to help me reach an orgasm to no avail. I truly do understand that "sex" in not all that there is to a marriage but it does seem to me like it is a very important part of marriage. I have had two other serious relationships where I lived with my partner even though we weren't married and have always enjoyed a very active, satisfying sex life so I am very puzzled as to why I cannot seem to have an orgasm with this man. Obviously I am very sexually frustrated at this point to say the least! Since I do not have an orgasm I find that we have gotten to the point where we do not even make love at all anymore, yet this wonderful man chooses to stay with me and love me. I do have panic/anxiety attacks and had thought at one time that the medication that I was taking was maybe interfering with my ability to have an orgasm, however, I was taking this same medication when I was with my ex-fiance and never had this problem. By the way I have talked to my physician and she assures me that the medication that I am taking causes the "least" amount of sexual side effects and offers me no other advice. I honestly do not even "feel" anything sexually awakening in my entire body even when we are totally naked laying with each other. I don't even like the thought of having intercourse with him. As the old saying goes I really do think that I do love this man but am not "in love" with him. He and I are wonderful friends and work well together in this relationship as far as with the finances, home, taking care of one another both emotionally and physically, but I just feel like this is almost more of a "friendship thing" and not a "marriage thing". I also feel very guilty because I think that he should be sexually satisfied - he is still a young man with needs and I am just not fulfilling them. But in all honesty, I am just not into him sexually. I wonder if I should just let this marriage go and let him be free to find happiness elsewhere as he deserves thus freeing myself to pursue possible happiness also. I feel secure in my relationship, but that's about it, I do not feel fulfilled as a woman, nor do I even look forward to him coming home, you know that little feeling you get when you are really into someone and you just can't wait to see them again? - Like I said before: I am just not "feeling" him if you know what I mean. I realized this was a problem a long time ago and I guess I just kept hoping that the sexual part would somehow just magically remedy itself one day, but now I am realizing that it is just not going to happen. I am 43 years old and maybe I am a little scared also of what might come next. Yes maybe the next man may satisfy me sexually, but he might not have all of the positive qualities that the man I am married to does. Besides treating me like a queen in every way, he a very hard worker, does not have a drug problem (and believe me I have had to put up with that in past relationships that caused nothing but major problems not to mention way too many sleepless nights of wondering if that person was ok and not even worrying about my own safety when it came to going out driving around looking for them and ultimately when finding them kicking in the door to many "crack houses" that I now know I could have been killed doing - and eventually a mental/physical breakdown that I refuse to go through again with any man!)and my husband does not ever do the "dissapearing act", where I don't know where he is. He honestly causes me no worried whatsoever. I do believe that is why I keep trying to hang in there - he does bring peace to my life - but yet still I always feel that something is missing - and it is!I have rambled on and on - just alot going through my mind and coming out through my fingers onto this keyboard. It's just that I feel in my soul that this is not a healthy life I am living and I often just sit and cry wondering if this is how I am going to live out my life - and then I just pull myself together thinking how much worse things could be. I thank the Lord everyday for my life in general and have prayed alot about this situation and I don't think that He would mind me getting someone elses opinion/advice - smile. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to "vent". Any suggestions/comments/advice would be much appreciated. Thank You. Signed ~Sexually Frustrated! (link)
You know, I sympathize with you but I'm REALLY wondering if you think he's "too good" for you. Judging by your description of your past relationships, you may feel that he's too good. Now how does that bleed over into the sexual arena? Well, it very well could be that the "bad nature" of the guys you have been accustomed to dating is what really turned you on about them, without your present husband possessing that "quality", you may feel less connected to him in that manner and HIS bad nature is what may be "missing". You feel the need to do the "right" thing, live the right life, etc etc, and actually, that's leaving you resentful. It also sounds to me like you really want out of the marriage and know it's going to make you look like the villian, so you're trying to find autruistic means of doing it, " He deserves better, he desereves a good sex life, etc, etc ". You're going to have to admit that you miss the "action" and "drama" that was present in your past relationships. Sit down and talk to your husband about it. Tell him what the real problem is, how it's leaving you, and how it's affecting your relationship with him. Tell him above all, what you REALLY want. If it's your marriage with him, tell him, if you think it's not, you need to tell him that, too. I would really like to know if you still masturbate. If so, are you capable of having an orgasm in that manner. If oyu can, what are you doing THEN that you're not doing with the husband? What's going through your head? Talk it over with him, and try to implement some of the things that you do while ou masturbate. If you don't masturbate, maybe you should start. Get your body accustomed to reaching a climax again and simply knowing that you're capable will relieve alot of the tension you feel when you're with him. I'm sure you are probably at the point now where you start a love-making session with the thought that you AREN'T going to orgasm, already in your head. That only adds to the tension and anxiety. If you're that tense, you'll never orgasm. I'd love to discuss this more but I only have so much info availed to me.Don't thank me for allowing you to vent, thats why I'm here, you're no bother. If you and your husband like, feel free to use the address on here to write me personally, so you don't have to post it in the forum. In either regard, please send me a follow up and let me know how things are going....or.... "coming". Sorry, I had to :) Good luck to you both.

My father molested me when I was 9. (link)
I thought that maybe the case. Although there is still something very wrong with what you are doing with family members and your big sex drive, it's understandable clinically. I don't think you meant for this to be be aired publicly on my site, but it is. If you want to talk privately, then copy my e mail address and go to your e mail and write me from there. If you ever need to talk about anything, I'll be there for you.

how do you make out with someone if you have braces???????? this boys wants to make out with me but i have braces so i donno how?? and its my first time!! help now! (link)
No offense, but if 1. you have braces, you're probably too young to be thinking of sex. 2. If you happen to be a post-pubescent with braces and you STILL don't know, you're probably not ready for sex, and if you're an ADULT who happens to have braces and you're even asking this question, then guess what?......yeah, you probably shouldn't be having sex. I think waiting, until the braces come off or until youhave a clearer understanding of how things work, would be the best answer all the way around. Good luck.

This is really embarassing for me to ask but oh well, here goes...

When I go swimming I wear a bathing suit (duh). But I notice that my pubic hair pokes out through the material (in front). It isn't that noticeable but it's embarassing and you CAN see it. I don't think shaving would help, I think it would just make ot worse. I tried trimming it a bit but that didn't work either! What can I do to stop this???? (link)
Shaving DOES help.

Whats does it mean when guys have wet dreams???

I am 11 years old
It simply means that the young man has entered into puberty. Having dones so, the body has created an excessive amount of sperm that has to be released. When it gets to that point, the body tales over and handles it in its own method. That's when wet dreams occur.

When I was about 6-8, I was friends with this girl. When she came over to my house or when I'd go over to hers, she;d want to play house. She always wanted me to be the dad or the boyfriend or just the guy. She'd want to kiss me and "do it" with me. We did kiss, several times. And we'd get naked and rub each other or finger each other. This comes back to haunt me all the time. How do I deal with this? (link)
I wish you had stated what it is about the incidents that bother you. Is it that you're now having questions of your own sexuality and that's what bothers you, or is that you KNOW what your sexuality is, are rebelling against it, and think that the earlier times may have had soemthing to do with it. I'd ask you to think long andhard about what's really bothering you about it, and then you can start to make progress toward becoming at ease with it.

im 13 and my penis is like 2 to 3 inches is that about right for my age
Yes it is.

I'm 14 year old girl. and I'm a little confused by stuff... at my school and with pretty much everyone I know it's not really a big deal to make out with someone you don't know or just met and I admit that I have. ALot of the time you can't really go out with anyone unless you give them a handjob or something. It seems sort of wrong to me, and it go me thinking about abunch of stuff.
When I was younger I thought that I wouldn't have sex until I was married and I realized that I don't care about that. Now I just don't know when is the right time to have sex.
Friends of mine have said that they are just going to get it over with at a party we're going to soon or that they'll do it when we enter high school next year.
I was just thinking. How do I know when the right time is for me? I don't care about losing it before I'm married or out of high school, I just want it to be right.
How do I keep myself from doing something stupid that I can't take back? (link)
You've answered your own question. You stated that " It seems sort of wrong" to you. If you have that idea or anything like it, then chances are good that it's not the right time.

my partner and i love our sex life, but she won't give me head like she used to. before she would try to deepthroat all the time and now she only sucks enough of it to shut me up. how can i bring out the animal that she usd to be? (link)
Have you asked her the reasoning behind this and if so, what is it? It may be that she feels slighted in some way and feels that she is giving more than shye is getting. This may lead to resenment on her behalf. Ask her if there's anything you could do to make the entire lovemaking experience better for her. Once she feels that she's just as important, then maybe she'll gladly return to the "animal" that she used to be.

how many fingers do i use to finger my self? because i want it to feel good but i dont want it to hert? how many??? (link)
Well, only you can determine that. Different peopole have different slants on what feels "good" to them. For them it may be two, where you may find that you are totally satisfied with only one. Some women find that it's not necessary to insert ANY fingers. They find adequate stimulation externally by gently caressing or massaging the "lips". Take your time, get to know yourself and YOu determine what's best for you, noone else can.

I went to this party and I'm 15 and I drank but I only had one beer and than I woke up the next morning in my bed. After that for the next couple of weeks I got sick daily, I started to get worried and had my friend buy a pregnancy test for me and it turned out that I was pregnant. I don't know how that's possible because I'm a virgin. But I can't remember what happened that night at the party. I don't know what to tell my parents.
~Pregnant?~ (link)
How much do you remember about the party other than having the one beer? Who gave it to you? Was it open already or did you have to open it? If you ARE pregnant, and you ARE indeed a virgin, then you may have had something slipped to you in your drink. As sad as it sounds, it's avrey common happening these days, especially when the drinkers aren't of age, and quite often rely on others for their alcoholic consumption.
I would suggest you schedule a vaginal exam. They would be able to determine if there was any sexual contact. Talk to friends.....if you were drugged, believe me, someone knows something. try to find out all you can to protect both you and others from going through this again.

any good masturbation tips for females and also 3-somes? (2gurls and a guy or 2guys and a gurl) (link)
If there's more than just you, it ceases to be masturbation.

i want to do it on prom night but what if my boyfriend forgets a condum i mean should i wait till he gets one or shouldi go make him buy one? (link)
Under NO circumstances should you have sex without a condom. I would tell you to wait period, but, it seems that you've already made your mind up. With that being said...don't EVER have sex without a condom. I know it's hard to believe, but it could cost you the rest of your life.

I haven't had a boy friend yet but I feel like I could just pick any boy and have sex with them but i'm afriad to ask to hook up with the guy.
I just REALLY REALLY REALLY!!!!!!!! need sex do you think i'm desperate HELP ME (link)
No, you're ust experincing the rage of hormones that come along with your age. There's nothing worng with that within itslef. BUT, there IS something worng with your feeling that you can just pick any guy and have sex with him. Have you tried masturbation? Does it do anything for you? That should release some of the urges that you find raging inside's a hell of a lot safer than your first choice.

Um...I'm sorry but I'm not quite clear on what oral sex is...or's all so confusing because I thought oral sex was simply saying the actions, not actually doing them. I didn't know you could get HIV and all of that stuff from it. Can someone please explain it to me???
Curious (link)
Oral sex is the act of using one's mouth to PHYSICALLY please another. So, verbalization does not apply.
Ejaculation is the fluid from the genitalia at the peak of sexual excitement. And yes, women can ejaculate, as well.
And YES, you CAN get HIV/A.I.D.S from oral sex. ANY type of act where sexual fluids are transfered can subject you to thr possibility of infection.

ok so im 17 and i was wondering i have read that guys prefer the girls to swallow there cum after oral sex is this true or would they rather us to spit everytime i ask guys they say either way but i want to know seriously what they prefer i know it would be different for different guys but what would most of them seriously want (link)
This one's simple. Don't let someone else dictate what YOU feel. What do YOU prefer?

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