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my friend told me that she's jealous because my eyes and eyebrows comes off "strong" and "defined" what does that mean? (link)
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it means like your eyes are beautiful and noticeable.like when someone looks at your thats the first beautiful thing they notice about you.Some people have really light eyesbrowls and their shape isnt very nice so i guess she means that yours are nicely shaped and your eyes are big and gorgeous. let me show you some examples
http://www.helpfulhealthtips.com/Images/H/How-to-shape.jpg
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_BH4AkUxj8GY/ScG2W2sPJlI/AAAAAAAAG9U/XaCJ_ozN0Sc/s320/Christian-Dior-Spring-2009-Collection-Backstage-Beauty-Defined-Eyebrows.jpg
http://students.ou.edu/K/Rakesh.Kodi-1/images/039_44797~Penelope-Cruz-Posters.jpg
http://morningbounce.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/kim-kardashian-showing-stuff.jpg
http://www.raptalk.net/images/NicoleScherzinger.jpg
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Like all my friends are so much prettier then me. Like i have one who's super skinny and is just really random and fun. And then my other one is Just plain beautiful. it sucks because since i always hang out with them boys are always flirtin with them and they just look right over me. I hate it. Im like the second choice. Is there anything i can do to get boys to like me or be prettier?? (link)
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everyone is beautiful.God didnt leave anyone out.i mean beauti isnt just from your looks ints from what you do,say,feel,and how you live.lol i promise that will be my only spiritual speech. the only way you can be bautiful is just be yourself.dont be shy just be whoever you are.maybe even try flirting with guys too?touch their arm or laugh with them.just be what you can be.be confident in yourself because if you keep thinking that your ugly or not as pretty and make your friends as your benchmark then your going to be misrable your whole life.even if you dont get a guy today or tomorrow theres always more days to come.life isnt all about boys.i know you know that.dont chase after then just let them come to you and in the meantime all you can do is just be the best you can be :)
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My best bud Lance has been dating this girl Rebecca (aka becca) for about 4-6 months now, and i feel like shes a total snob towards him. I mean me and her were friends a while back, so i decided this would be a good chance to rekindle that friendship with her. And it worked but, lately she has been ignoring me, giving me dirty looks, and talking behind me back. She is totaly agressive and does kick-boxing so she also punches my friends and i. I for one dont apriciate that, and she seems to snap at everyone who talks to her. Like a chihuahua. I confronted Lance about this(in case your wondering) and he said he was going to talk to her about it. And i can tell he did because she keeps her distance now.
I still want to be friends with her, even if i do like her man. she knows i do too. But that has never been a problem until now. Is there a way to keep a calmer, more peaceful friendship going?
-Olie (im 14/f Lance is 15/m and becca is 15/f) (link)
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oh no!i once had a friend that was two faced like that.seriously i know that you want to be her friend but i wouldnt.especially when she does kickboxing.what if she gets older and decides youv pissed her off and wants to fight you?i think ofcourse you should talk to her and even if you havent done anything wrong apologise because you dont want this tension between you two.ask her why shes angry and just talk it out.
then slowly slip away and distance yourself from her.be friend and say hi to eachother but i wouldnt be a good friend with her.
I think she maybe angry because you still talk to her b.f and she feels threatened or jealous.if you wnat to keep the peace then id probably distance myself from her b.f too.you dont want to be the reason they break up fo you?i mean they may stay together forever or they may breakup either way you cant get involved.just be friends but not close firends because he may go tell his gf about what you both talked about and she may get angry or jealous..trust me you dont want to go there bub!
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I go back 3 years ago me and Elvia were really good friends.then my 7th grade came and she met a girl name Marissa, they became best friends and things between them went from good to fighting every week she always came to me and told me what happen and what she should do i told her to just stop being friends like every week and she always did the opposite thing like now. A year pass it was new years and the hole time i spend talking to her.After that day weeks past and a month or two pass and didnt talk and it wasnt normal cause we would text every single day.Then one day she gave me a note in school that said she was really sorry for not being here for me and i forgived her.Then again a month went by and she texted me and i didnt reply because i was mad because i just felt like she just wanted to use me for when she needed help with her best friend,then the next day i texted her back and i told her i was mad at her and thats why i didnt text her back but i told her i was playig but i really wasnt then she said i dont believe you and i said ok i dont believe anything you say and she got mad.It has been 3 weeks and i always see her in school and we always look at eachother and just walk away,i really miss her cause even though she has a best friend that hates me i think as her as my best friend and i dont know if i should just move on or talk to her.Please help me. (link)
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friends always fight its how it is.it also doesnt help when she has a best friend thats manipulating her and probably telling her things that causes her to ignore you.
if you think shes your best friend and really miss her then you should be the bigger person and apologise.it doesnt matter who made who angry or who started it.you should just apologise and go back to being friends.just ignore her best friend and dont say anything bad about that girl just incase your friend goes back and tells her what you say about that girl.try and make friends with her best friend and just be nice to her too so that she can realise that shes wrong for thinking your a bad person :)
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13/f
Ok, so I have only ever had 2 close friends, one of them moved to Switzerland, and the other I have recently separated from (see my other question). I have other more mutual friends that i try to be close with, but it always seems like i am trying harder than them. I will invite someone over to my house, but they never return an invitation. They invite me to parties and stuff but if i didn't ever invite people over i would only hang out with them outside of school maybe once a month, and it is usually the same person. That is a good friend of mine but she is almost always with two other girls that she is very close with, i know i could hang out with them but their interests are completely different from mine, also they never actually invite me themselves, it seems that pretty much the only time people invite me places is if there is a large group. Is this my fault? I have never done anything to make these girls not like me, so i don't know why they act like this. Also, whenever i make a new friend they start hanging out with my other friends and end up liking my other friends more than me, and vice versa, what should i do about this problem?
Thanks!
Molly (link)
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ohhh i remember those days!remember friends come and go and as you get older youll realise that people change and so will you. well all mature and grow older and our prefrences in friends will become different.
you need to stop thinking so much about the situation,stop being jealous even if you think your not you are.just be yourself and mingle with everyone not just one group.be nice to everyone and you will grow on them.frienship takes time.just go out where ever they invite you.i mean if they invite you to parties it must mean they like you.dont worry about them not getting back to your invitation.dont hold a grudge because some people tend to forget or if they cant go out they dont tell you.its how they are and to get through this life theres somethings you need to just suck up.sorry if this is harsh but this is just soemthing your going to just have to get use to and just be nicer than them.be better than them and get to know everyone
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18-female. i've always had feelings for my good friend but never implemented i wanted to go further because i knew it would just make our friendship more complicated. i just don't even know if he's the "good friend" i thought he was, but then when i think about it i have doubts..
we go to different schools. he's best friends with my guy cousin - they go to the same school. recently my grandma passed away (also my cousins grandma) and i know my cousin told the guy that she did and he told my friend she was in a better place blah blah .. but the thing is he never once called or even texted me to see how i was doing or to even say sorry to me about my grandma. to me, that doesn't seem like a good friend. although he talked to my cousin, he couldn't bother also talking to me about it? if his grandma were to pass away the least i would do would text him saying hey sorry to hear about your grandma, always here for you or something like that.
what do you guys think? am i overreacting about this or do you really think he's not being a good friend.. (link)
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it depends really...has he always been there for you?i think you need to weight out the good and bad points instead of just thinking of one thing.it may have no occured to him that you could be hurting too. he may have forgot to let you know hes there for you.like my guy friend he has a thing about death and just doeant like talking about it.he tries to avoid it as much as possible so that could be a factor. I understand where your coming from.if this means so much to you for him to be there for you then it could be an indication for you to not go there.i dont know him well enough to judge but has he been there for you every other time youv needed him?have you been there for him?
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f/17
i have this friend and as u might have read'ed in my last question she makes me talk and text this guy she likes i don't like him very much but hes okay he made up some lie about haven a girl friend so that i would stop asking if he liked her so now she says shes over him but now i got a bigger problem she thinks he likes me and that i like him i don't like him and im sure he likes her not me but one day when i was standing in the hall it was just me him and her she walked away cause she got a phone call and i was just standing there looking at her then out of nowhere i feel some one hold waist and go up to my ear and say excuse me i turn around and he smiled i just looked at him like wtf then he just walked away she saw that and now thinks i like him and that he likes me cause he only talks to her when i there and when there alone hes always like look at her and i just don't know what to do or say im sure he doesn't like and i dont like him i think (link)
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ok thats weird.i think he either does like you or hes trying to make her jealous.its a big possibility he likes you maybe thats why hes been tyring to avoid her and why he only talks to her when your there.it makes sense.he txts you more than he txts her and he talks to you more...it could also mean that he was just being friendly and getting your attention like friends do.the more your friend says that you like him you oventually will start to like him.she needs to stop and forget about him and stop worrying anout him because oventually its going to cause you to like him.if you tell your brain over and over again about soemthing it will actually start to get brainwashed.the brain is very easily tricked.
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i have this best friend we have been friends seen's last year we all have boy problems but hers some how seem to be worse i cant get a guy as u read in my last question but she cant get the right guy she has a lot of guys over her but theres one guy named jake she liked him for what seems to be forever he says he does't but i can tell he does i can see it every one can see it one day he text'ed us telling her he loved her it turned out to be hes brother just playing a joke on her i asked him why did he let that happen he said he does't know anything and he does't care so i asked him do you like her cause i think you do a lot then out of nowhere he tells me he has a girlfriend its not true i know that for a fact so i told her what happen'd and shes been crying for two days she wants me to tell her what to do when she goes back to school and see's him but i truly don't know what to do what should i do to help my best friend (link)
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ohhh poor thing!she must be devestated.firstly she needds to stop chasing after him.the reason why he said he has a gf is so that you guys can leave him alone.the boy feels pressured so now hes made up soem excuse to get you guys off his back.you need to tell her this and let her know that maybe he does like her but right now hes saying he doesnt and she need sto respect it.tell her that once shes at school she should pay no attention to him and to avoid him.if she sees him tell her to look the other way.he doesnt have to like her she needs to know that theres plenty of guys out there.she should just move on and accept what hes telling her.sorry but theres actually no easier way to say soemthing like that.sure shes going to cry and be hurt and be angry but in the long run its going to help her adn your going to be a better friend for being honestw ith her.tell her not to get angry then be honest with her and tlel her that your only saying this because you care for her and because you dont want her hurting over him anymore...i mean hes made her sad more than hes made her happy its time to let go
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I have a friend who is really close to me. But she thinks that only one girl is her GREATEST friend or...very AWESOME. And my friend really misses her really badly. When my friend went to a tournament, she hugged that girl but not me. She talks to her and says good things about her. But I don't see what's good about that girl. Now, I feel like I'm loosing my close friend. :( I really wish my close friend would like me more than her. Well, I know it's her choice on whom she choose to like. But that girl moved from where me and my close friend lives! So why does she have to brag about how GREAT she is. It's really annoying. And again, I would like her to like me. (link)
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the reason why she talks about her so much is because she is very important to her.they use to be very close.she cant just erase her from her memory.you just have to stik it out till she slowly gets over her best friend.if you want her to hug you then why cant you just make the first move and hug her first.mayeb it hasnt occured to her that your into the hugging and stuff.i wouldnt mention to her that your annoyed with her because she talks alot about her other friend because itll show your jealous and shes going to become distant with you.just realise that she loves her friend and she loves you too and that you dont need to be jealous because your just as close with her.she only talks to you about that girl, because your her close firned and your the one that she goes too when she wants to talk to someone.dont ruin that by being jealous
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im 15 years old and in the 9th grade ive been best friend with this girl named rebecca, we've been best friends since 6th grade and we were pretty much inseperable! we hung out every chance we could, she's slowly starting to change though and now its like she doesnt even want to hangout with me anymore. everytime i ask her to hang out with me shes always like ''i cant im grounded'' or ''my moms being gay and wont let me do anything'' and then like 20 minutes later on myspace she'll post her status as hanging out with so and so! when she just told me she was grounded. why would she lie to me? i mean i understand shes going to have other friends but that doesnt mean she has to get rid of all of her old ones.i'd rather her tell me the truth then lie to me, if she doesnt want to hangout with me i'd rather her just tell me instead of her just making some lame excuse! i mean why would she tell me shes grounded and then post that on myspace when not only is she my friend on there but i was online too! im her only true friend and she treats me like dirt, she doesnt even talk to me at school she just walks past me and looks at me. she took me off her top and everytime i try taking to her shes really short with me expecially when shes with her other friends. i even bought her something for christmas i messaged her on myspace saying that i got her a gift and that if she wanted me to i would bring it by after my mom gets off. all she replied back with is i have a friend over and then she signed off! i still havent been able to give her gift, because she still has no time for me. i want to confront her about it but i have no idea what to say i dont want her to hate me because she is my best friend i just dont know what to do. i actually care about our friendship and is willing to do anything i can to fix it so any advice will help! (link)
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hmmm it sounds to me like your friend is holding a grudge against you.maybe she herd something or someone made soemthing up to try break up your friendhsip.it happens!i mean what id do is 2 things.
you can first start with not talking to her until she talks to you.like give her space and room to miss you.dont pay attention to her and see if shell ask if theres soemthing wrong.if she does then you can let her know whats been on your mind and how you feel.just be calm about it and dont let the situation turn into an arguement.
the other approach is that you can go upto her when shes allone and not with her other friends and ask her if youv done anything to hurt her or dome anything wrong because you feel that your drifting apart.let her know that you miss spending time with her and fear that shes angry with you.tell her that you dont think youv done anythign wrong but if you have to let you know.
stay calm and try not to let it blow up in your face.
i hope this helped
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Like in my history class there are 2 guys who poke fun at me. especially this one guy. like this one guy always makes comments to me almost everyday.. hes in a couple of my classes. like he'll call my name pretty loud when i come into class or something. like he actually wouldn't be that bad if he wasnt such a jerk like 90% of the time. so then i think it carried on into history and then now this other guy who sits in front of me does little things and says hes just messing with me. and its annoying cause im not good when people are like that.. especially when i dont know them that well so its like... you think they are being genuine when they arent. and im not always the best at detecting when someone is joking or not and just arent the type to like come up with all these good comebacks on the spot and stuff. im not into drama, its just not me. like if i talk to some guy whos sitting next to me, the guy whos sitting in front of me joins the conversation and is like "no" and then he laughs or something. and the guy whos sitting next to me actually seems fine but its just annoying how the other guy is just trying to make me look bad or something. and i dont know what to say or what to do in that situation. but its kinda embarassing. like theres this other girl in the class who everyone makes fun of cause shes really not smart and everything but still i wonder how that girl can take getting made fun of like 24/7. like i think im confident in myself and what i do.. so when someone else has a problem with me it can suprise me especially when i hadnt done anything to them or anything. idk if they have a problem with me or not, but they say they are just messing. but its annoying when like half the class laughs then. the guy next to me doesnt though.. from what i've seen. but idk if hes now doing it just to be nice. ahh well its better to do that than to not try at all though. but im just like wtf about it cause im not like a total weirdo or anything but its like the 2 guys are trying to make it seem like it in front of the whole class? ugh. i know i repeated in here sometimes but blah.
like other things w/ the guy who sat infront of me.. sometimes he fakes handing papers back to me and stuff like that. like today he suddenly took the book from my desk and put it on his cause he was called to read (we didnt have enough books today). and then when he gave it back it was like in the middle of someone reading and he just dropped the book loudly on my desk and like half the class stared at my reaction and im just like wtf. like i dont prepare myself for that type of thing you know? i dont know what to do. i dont even have any friends in that class anyways.and my teacher is like really laidback and stuff which is actually pretty annoying cause i wanna learn. i dont want to spend half the period listening to him asking people about their weekends ,and then me having to listen to it. like theres this group of kids that the teacher spends a lot of attention on and it just takes most of the day. like his teaching style is so bad and everything, its like teaching us stuff isnt his priority or something. i guess thats what you get for being in a CP course. and then the other guy who called my name and stuff i used to have a crush on him in 7th grade.. i have no idea why since hes not even good looking. he actually used to be nice before he like changed to being super annoying. i didnt even tell him too.. i told like 3 friends and then somehow word got to him and someone said he said that he only liked blonde girls. hes such a ******** anyways. like i hope hes not just trying to act macho cause he thinks i still like him or something when i dont. ughhhh FML
help me out pleaseeee? sorry this is really long, too. (link)
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those 2 guys are just soo annoying.in a class you must have a class clown and thats them.how old are they??they could be picking on you because thats the way to communicate with you.it could be because theyr trying to flirt or have a connection with you but dont know how to do it.
have you tried to show them that your annoyed?in your position id probibly wait for the next time they try and harrass you and look at them and say,can you guys just stop it because this game is getting really stupid.if you think your funny then stop because your not.
you could do that or you could be friends with them.get to know them and have a decent conversation with them.it may sound stupid but if you get to know them theyll think that your actually cool and that your not what they thought you were.soemthing like that.i mean from the signs they probibly do want to get to know you,especially the guy that dropped the book on your desk really loud.he may even like you(maybe).
im just giving you options.the person that sits next to you and didnt laugh.he/she is being nice because thats soemthing id do.if a guy was making fun of you i wouldnt laugh because if i laughed id be encouraging the siituation.so shes a good person for not laughing.
but overall in the end i really do think that they need to know that you think their comments are childish and stupid.if your showing that your annoyed then maybe try another approach to the situation.like maybe ignore them and like dont even look at them.if they make fun of you give them and evil look then look away.just say nothing to you them.
just change your approach to the situation because the way your acting towards them now isnt working.if your not talking to them and paying attention to them then maybe you should try talking to them and saying hi or soemthing.
but in the end just keep in mind that boys like that never change till they get older and mature.just stick it up for alittle while longer trust me iv been through it and it really does hurt you
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Sophie is one of my good friends. Everytime I log onto MSN shes like "omg guess what oi" and then shes either really angry at someone or really upset. So I try to help her out in everyway possible like friends should. Trying to make her feel better and all sorts. But she never helps me out when I have a problem. Shes just like "dont worry about it, hes just a **** or somethng" and I care for her when she needs my help. I help her throught all her problems and everything and then i was angry about something one time and shes just like "you can be angry IM angry" and i was like woahhh settle down. I dont know what to do about her. And i cant get angry at her or in a fight because shes one of those people that you.. tell all your secrets to and if you get in a fight she will tell EVERYONE about EVERYTHING and my secrets cannot be told without me getting the biggest smash... what do I do ??? PLEASE HELP. sorry its long ! :P (link)
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ohhhh i so know how you feel.i was in a situation like this back in school.i didnt wanna get in an arguement because shed tell everyone my secrets and tell everyone she hates me and try to turn everyone against me.there no simpler way to do it but this is what i did.i stayed her friend and listened to her problems,stoped telling her my secrets,found another friend on the side did this till school finished then grdually drifted apart from her.so like pretend everythign is fine and just gradually drift apart from her but still be friends so that she doesnt tell people your secrets.suck it up till the end of the year because theres actually no better way of sorting this out.trust me iv been where you have!its a messy situation to get into if you argue with her or show your upset.just be strong about it and be good to her and gradually just slip away from her.
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My friend always gets rrealy mean when she's talking to her boyfriend. Whether it's online, or on the phone, she's just always really mean to me. I've tried thinking of why she might be doing it, but the only reason I could come up with is that she's trying to make herself look better. I'd like to think my friend was different but people can surprise you. My question here is what do I do? (link)
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sometimes girls do that to show off infront of their bf's to show that theyr cool etc.its very common trust me!the thing to do is tell her how you feel when her bf isnt there just be calm about the situation and just say that you dont want to offend her but could she just stop making fun of you when her bf is around etc and give her examples of times shes done it and tell her it hurts you.be calm about the situation dont make it a big thing but you want to make yourself clear
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{A little lengthy but not a novel}
Okay so I have this friend who is a real pain in the butt! I know that has got to sound horrible but its the truth and I just don't know how to deal with it!
I am a sophmore and we have been friends since the begging of eighth grade.
She doesn't come from the best home life, parents were drop outs who got knocked up. She is a bit over weight.
She is nice, to me, and she is one of friends, we share locker together and everything.
What gets me though is she loves to make fun of others, especially people who are "bigger" then she is or who have disabilities. I hate that she feels so insecure and self consouse about herself she has to pick on others, but what should i say?
In first block she will even talk bad about someone who is siting next to me and I know they hear, and they think i am stuck up.
She also makes up stuff all the time to try to get attention. For example she'll say she didn't eat for 2 days and lost 20 lbs, and yet two seconds later she claims she went to McDonalds those same days! HELp
how do i deal with this without ditching her? She is my friend and i feel sorry for her, but i don't want to be pictured as the stuck up girl who talks about others with her. ANd I can't go one more day venting to my dog about all her lies.
WHEN WILL IT END. (link)
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oh man shes reallly mean thats one thing i would hate about someone is if they made fun of those ppl who can help the way they are.
next time she does soemthing like that do not encourage the situation by laughing of smiling or anything like that just look at here then look away shell then feel bad about what shes done. the next step is after shes done laughing be calm and just be like hey (name of the girl) thats not very nice. be like i dont mean to hurt you (watever her name is) but the things you say about people really hurt me and i dont feel comfortable with you saying those things. please dont be angry at me i just dont like it.then say...not everyone is perfect and we all hhave our flaws, ,me, you everyone not just them and it just makes it alot harder when people notice them and make fun of those flaws so please if your my friend youll stop, for me?
i mean either way she might get angry because as youv said she likes to be centre of attention so if she doesnt have it her way then shell get angry.just be calm about the situation and pull a sad puppy face too that helps
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Recently, my friend has been talking about how "hot" he thinks his teacher his. He keeps saying he fantasizes about her and he worships her. He said he likes walking past her room, he said he wants to buy the yearbook and school newsaper just to oogle and "jack off" at any pictures of her in them. Worst of all, he said he wishes she was a pedophile and if she wanted to molest him he'd be all for it. He also said one day he was leaving school he saw her walking towards her car, he took out his cellphone and snapped a pic of her secretly. Its kind of funny but its also kind of creepy to me. I always thought a teacher is someone you respect, not look at in that way. Is this normal? Or should I straighten him out? (link)
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its normal to have a crush on a teacher it happens all the time but the thing is its not normal to say those things about his teacher.i hope hes not stalking her or anything like that because hes getting very obsessive.he does sound like he know he cant be with her but just let him know that just incase he doesnt.a teacher will loose her license to teach if she is caught involved with a student. since im studying to become a teacher id probibly want to know if a student was obsessed about me just so its at the back of my mind. maybe tell him to just cool it down alittle i mean its ok to like her but not take piks of her because that illegal..be careful cuz stuff like that can get out of control
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my 17th birthday is at the beginning of november, and i haven't had a birthday party since i was 10. i wanna have a really good party since i didn't throw one for my 16th.
i wanna know if anyone has any good ideas about how many to invite, where to throw it, what to do? because right now all i can think of is buying two hotel rooms at the holiday inn or something and inviting a bunch of people that my boyfriend and i know. but i would have NO IDEA what to do. any help? gracias. (link)
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that sounds really good..youd want to invite as much people as you can even if theyr not your close friends because its most likely half of them will show up. you could make it a dress up party like pimps and whorres or cops and robbers orf a character that starts with the letter of your first name since you the birthday girl.mmm what else you could even just make it a normal party with loads of loud music and good food. make sure that you play the music that everyone will like...especially dance music like basshunter or techno..or if you and your friends are into hip hop put some good stuff on that everyone can dance to or loosen up to.just think of your guests and what theyd like.i mean ask your bf what his friends are into and ask your friends what theyr into...make sure you invite those ppl that you know will loosen up and dance and get along with everyone because theyr most likely the ones that will make your party fun...id send out invitations early like a week and a half early so that everyone can make that night free for your party...rent out the hotel rooms thats a really good idea
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Okay, deep breaths as I type this out.
It's very long, but I felt I needed to give all the facts.
16/f
I'd been best friends with this guy since we were seven. We were crazy close. We'd talk about anything and everything, always be around each other, it got to the point where when I went someplace without him, I felt like I was forgetting something. And people would always ask whenever I got somewhere "Hey, where's John?"
Well, you know how things go. We were so connected to each other on a level much deeper than anything you hear teens talking about, that pretty soon we fell in love and crossed that line. And then we REALLY were inseparable. It was so easy, everything was easy. And I loved him. God I loved him so much.
Last year though, everything changed. One of my friends got into a little bit of trouble, and ended up pulling me down with her, not intentionally. She got wasted at a party and didn't want to call her parents, and so she called me. I went to pick her up even though I was only on my permit which was stupid of me, and we got pulled over by the police because I was driving a little fast. He saw my friend, and he also saw an open bottle of beer in her hand. The final blow was when he went to check my license.
I live in a small town: word gets around. And the rumors twist out of control. John's father heard about this mess, but he heard it as: I had been drinking and driving, and I was totally wasted that night, going for a reckless joyride around town. Which was not the case.
I told John the truth and I told his dad the truth, but his dad wouldn't listen to me. His dad has never really liked me for some reason. I was thinking it was because I always had pulled away his son from him, you know, because John spent so much time with me. =\
His dad is a very religious person, very moral and stuff. He doesn't drink or smoke and since his wife died I don't even think he's had sex. And he doesn't ever want John to drink or smoke or any of that stuff either. So upon hearing about that misunderstanding of mine, he forbade John to see me anymore.
You can imagine how devastated I was. I'm barred from seeing John, the guy I'm in love with, my soulmate. I was in such misery, and when I'd be in misery, I'd talk to John. But he wasn't allowed.
But the real hurt came about a week after his father laid down the law, saying I was a bad influence. I caught John at the grocery store downtown and I walked up to him to give him a hug and just have a moment with him, because there were no parents around. But he just looked at me, blankly and turned and walked away before I could reach him. There was no hurt in his eyes or anything. Just a blank stare, nothing like the way he used to look at me.
Another two weeks passed and he had been on a few dates with this girl from our church, well his church now. I don't go to church anymore.
It's been about a year since I've spoken to him, and the only time I ever see him is glimpses of him around town. And we've drifted so far away that sometimes I can't even remember what it was that made us so close.
Okay, deep breaths.
Saturday when I got home from school I had a message waiting for me. It was a friend of mine telling me know that John had been involved in a really bad car accident. He'd damaged his spinal chord and he probably won't be able to walk anymore.
You know that feeling when the world comes to a stop? Here's this boy, my first love who at one point in my life I couldn't breathe without, and now all of a sudden he's hurt, really hurt. And I just can't wrap my mind around it.
It's been so long since we talked. And I'd finally moved on from him, stopped hating him, but never started loving him again. He hadn't even crossed my mind in a month or so. And the whole 10 months I spent trying to get over him, I was thinking about how much I hated him for killing me inside. How much I wanted him to hurt. How much I just wanted to get even with the way he broke me. Did I do this to him? My first thought.
I haven't been able to concentrate all week. I'm sick with grief and fear about what might happen to him. What did happen to him. I can't wrap my mind around it and I'm feeling so confused.
My mind keeps telling me that this is a person who hurt you and the warning flag goes up and says, "You shouldn't hurt this much. Yes, it's bad that he got hurt, but you don't even know him anymore. So just relax, pray and push through."
Then the other side of it, my heart is telling me that old feelings never go away and it's okay to suddenly know that the connection is still there. There's so much running through my mind right now that I can't sort through. It's too heavy. All of it is just way too heavy.
I'm in shock, and I'm being selfish I know I am because here's John, hurt in a hospital bed, and I'll I can think of his my pain and grief.
My friend is taking me to visit him on Sunday. We haven't seen each other in so long, and all that deep history between us...I don't know what to say to him or what to do.
What do you say to a person in this position who once meant everything to you? I don't know what and I don't know how to process all these feelings.
Please, advice. Of any kind. (link)
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omg!you know as i was reading this i was reminded by the twighlight story its very similar in a way.
im soo sad this happened to you. jusy know you have my full support!
when you go there try not to be so nervous just walk in and smile. he may tell you to go away because he might not want you to see him in the state hes in but dont walk away because right now he probibly needs you more than anything. remember he loved you just as much as you loved him and he probibly never forgot it.
I want you to have hope and not blame yourself for anything. let the past go and take the future as it comes. my brother was in a very bad car accident where two people died one of them being my half brother. my full brother broke his arms legs pelvis and the list goes on he needed 9opperations and its a miracle he can walk again. the doctors thought he was going to be paralyzed but he was determined to start walking again. 2 years have passed and he can walk run anything,miracles can happen.
if your going to the hospital take some magazines for him to read because it gets really boring there. even take some food for him because hospital food is disgusting! That can even be a convo starter "so umm i bought you some books to read. and i herd hospital food tasted like dog food so i bought you something nice to eat"
just prepare yourself to be rejected the first time but be strong and stay with him. say your not going anywhere because theres no where else youd want to be than next to him.
i hope he has a full recovery and hope this helped :)
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Me & Seth are best friends and have been for 3 years now. He's 18 and a senior in high school, I'm 15 softmor in high school. I've had my heart broken before Seth was there and comfurted me. I'm nervous that my last heart break(march '09) might have affected me liking him. Either way I like him, what should I do?
-Quinnie
(female 15, usa) (link)
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i dont think you should let the guy that broke your heart affect the relationship you have with seth..not all guys are the same.if you let him affect you youll be alone your whole life and no one wants that..he hurt you so you pick up what youv got left and make those pieces grow with seth
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16/f
I'm not trying to sound conceited when I say this, but I am a really good friend. I have helped people stop cutting and feel better about themselves. (only my close friends who tell me things) I tell them to get help and try to help them as much as I can to the best of my ability. I'm kind of like the go-to person, the one they vent to, then one they can trust.
So today, my best friend and I were talking on aim. and we were talking about how we felt we were drifting apart. we got mad at eachother at first because she accused me of judging her (when I don't, I really don't judge people, everyoneis who they are) and she wasn't acting herself. Then we got to the point in the conversation where she told me that she wasn't going to beg for me to be my friend, and I told her that I'd always be her friend, no matter what. Because she's been having a hard time lately, and has been going to the shore drinking alot and hooking up with random guys at random parites, and it's just not her.
Then she always blames everything on her ex boyfriend, how he screwed her up so much. and he did, he really messed her up, but i said she had to stop blaming him for everything, and that it's not her fault at all but that part of why she changed was because of the shore and summer. well, I guess that set her off, because she told me something that I cried when I read...
Her ex boyfriend, you would never suspect he would do this. He forced her to do stuff to him. (she never told anyone, this happened a few months ago) he told her that she didnt trust him and that she didnt find him attractive if she didnt give him a handjob. I knew that part, but I also knew that he ate her out when she told him she didnt want to. and he fingered her when she didnt want to be fingered and said so. He would get very violent with her and shove as many fingers as he could and finger her, and she tried to stop him, and tell him no but she couldn't breathe and he was bigger than her. Then she told me that one time, she was in his car and they were fighting as usual, he was telling her like, "oh i went to third for you and you won't do the same to me?" and she said, "i didn't want you to do that to me!" and he was like, "well it's been 2 or 3 months and if you loved me you would do this for me." so my friend ended up being guilted into saying she'd make it up to him by giving him a handjob. after she said that, she didnt know how it happened, but he pushed her head down to his pants and held her head there while he unzipped and he made her give him a blow job. she told me she was crying while she did it and he wouldnt stop. (i feel horrible not only because he did this to her, but because we talked about blow jobs and how id never give one ever and how she wouldnt either.. i felt bad she didnt tell me this!) so then like whenever they hung out, apparently he would just jump ontop of her and hold her down, and hump her, and shed say get off, but he wouldnt listen. and then when he was "finished" she could go home.
she told me that he told her he was gonna kill himself. she was scared. she was trapped inside a relatiosnhip with this guy. isnt that RAPE?!?! I told he to tell someone, she won't. I want her to get help, I told her she should get therapy, that i'd help her. but she said telling me helped her feel better.. but she was pretending this entire time that she's fine. but she told me she's depressed. I rpomise her I wouldn't tell anybody about this, but THIS IS RAPE. isn't it?! It is. my best friend was raped. and now all she wants is attention from guys. shes really screwed up because of this. Shes drinking because she doesn't think about her ex and what he did. I don't know what to do. please help me. I'm the ONLY ONE who knows. the only one. so what do i do?! I know I should tell someone, but who would I tell? and there's no proof he did that, so how would i be able to help? I promised her I wouldnt tell anyone, I know I should, but at the same time, she says she's not wasting her time on him. But if I was her, I would want to tell someone. I couldn't just hide that. I'm so lost. She acts like it's no big deal now.. just because it has been a few months. But it IS a big deal to ME. she's my best friend and he raped her. Well, I consider it rape. Ugh. help?
thank you all so much. (link)
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that fuckn bastard!!!!!i never swear but this asswhole deserves it!how dare he how could he..the same thing happened to me, this guy foced me to give him a BJ exactly the same way he did to your friend by holding her head down.
unfortunatly i was too scared to tell anyone but deep down i didnt want to tell anyone. it took me awhile to get over what he did but i got over it.she should know that counselling does help. but best is for you to be there for her, dont force her to do anything she doesnt want to because it could make her drift further and further away from you. she needs to be able to realise that your hurting and that you dont want her to turn out the way shes heading..just be there for her and tell her that what happened in the past happened and that the person inside her that was hurt and used should be protected so that it doesnt happen again, but the way shes going it will
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Dear Sia Thank you so much for the advice. I cried when I read it because I really felt you understood. The only word for my sister is cruel. Thanks Babs (link)
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thank you so much for messaging me, you should know that you made me feel so special when you wrote this. I can tell that you r one of a kind and the opposite of your sister. i do understand and its ok to cry and its ok to be angry. you have done nothing to deserve this. im always here for you if you ever need to talk :)
with love,
sia
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