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concerned.
16/f
I'm not trying to sound conceited when I say this, but I am a really good friend. I have helped people stop cutting and feel better about themselves. (only my close friends who tell me things) I tell them to get help and try to help them as much as I can to the best of my ability. I'm kind of like the go-to person, the one they vent to, then one they can trust.
So today, my best friend and I were talking on aim. and we were talking about how we felt we were drifting apart. we got mad at eachother at first because she accused me of judging her (when I don't, I really don't judge people, everyoneis who they are) and she wasn't acting herself. Then we got to the point in the conversation where she told me that she wasn't going to beg for me to be my friend, and I told her that I'd always be her friend, no matter what. Because she's been having a hard time lately, and has been going to the shore drinking alot and hooking up with random guys at random parites, and it's just not her.
Then she always blames everything on her ex boyfriend, how he screwed her up so much. and he did, he really messed her up, but i said she had to stop blaming him for everything, and that it's not her fault at all but that part of why she changed was because of the shore and summer. well, I guess that set her off, because she told me something that I cried when I read...
Her ex boyfriend, you would never suspect he would do this. He forced her to do stuff to him. (she never told anyone, this happened a few months ago) he told her that she didnt trust him and that she didnt find him attractive if she didnt give him a handjob. I knew that part, but I also knew that he ate her out when she told him she didnt want to. and he fingered her when she didnt want to be fingered and said so. He would get very violent with her and shove as many fingers as he could and finger her, and she tried to stop him, and tell him no but she couldn't breathe and he was bigger than her. Then she told me that one time, she was in his car and they were fighting as usual, he was telling her like, "oh i went to third for you and you won't do the same to me?" and she said, "i didn't want you to do that to me!" and he was like, "well it's been 2 or 3 months and if you loved me you would do this for me." so my friend ended up being guilted into saying she'd make it up to him by giving him a handjob. after she said that, she didnt know how it happened, but he pushed her head down to his pants and held her head there while he unzipped and he made her give him a blow job. she told me she was crying while she did it and he wouldnt stop. (i feel horrible not only because he did this to her, but because we talked about blow jobs and how id never give one ever and how she wouldnt either.. i felt bad she didnt tell me this!) so then like whenever they hung out, apparently he would just jump ontop of her and hold her down, and hump her, and shed say get off, but he wouldnt listen. and then when he was "finished" she could go home.
she told me that he told her he was gonna kill himself. she was scared. she was trapped inside a relatiosnhip with this guy. isnt that RAPE?!?! I told he to tell someone, she won't. I want her to get help, I told her she should get therapy, that i'd help her. but she said telling me helped her feel better.. but she was pretending this entire time that she's fine. but she told me she's depressed. I rpomise her I wouldn't tell anybody about this, but THIS IS RAPE. isn't it?! It is. my best friend was raped. and now all she wants is attention from guys. shes really screwed up because of this. Shes drinking because she doesn't think about her ex and what he did. I don't know what to do. please help me. I'm the ONLY ONE who knows. the only one. so what do i do?! I know I should tell someone, but who would I tell? and there's no proof he did that, so how would i be able to help? I promised her I wouldnt tell anyone, I know I should, but at the same time, she says she's not wasting her time on him. But if I was her, I would want to tell someone. I couldn't just hide that. I'm so lost. She acts like it's no big deal now.. just because it has been a few months. But it IS a big deal to ME. she's my best friend and he raped her. Well, I consider it rape. Ugh. help?
thank you all so much.
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About a year and a half ago I was raped through intercourse. Any forceful sexual contact any body part entering another is considered rape. Honestly I know how you friend feels, shes scared. It is up to her to tell. You being a good friend, should convince her that telling someone should be the best thing. What my friends said to me, was "what if he does this to someone really close to you?" You need to make sure she knows that the next girl in his life could go through the exact same thing, but she can put an end to it by reporting him. Going to the authorities doesnt always work, because they could come back with the he said she said. But its always worth a try. Stand by your friend talk to her, and just be her shoulder. Drinking is the easy way out and the sleeping with guys and getting attention is all just a cry for help. you need to also be stern with her and tell her drinking can just lead to that too. If it gets to bad to the point where you friend needs serious help... you need to talk to one of her family members before you take it into your hands, that is not your deal and if you try to handle it you could end up in the same boat STRESSED. So good luck and let me know how it goes
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that fuckn bastard!!!!!i never swear but this asswhole deserves it!how dare he how could he..the same thing happened to me, this guy foced me to give him a BJ exactly the same way he did to your friend by holding her head down.
unfortunatly i was too scared to tell anyone but deep down i didnt want to tell anyone. it took me awhile to get over what he did but i got over it.she should know that counselling does help. but best is for you to be there for her, dont force her to do anything she doesnt want to because it could make her drift further and further away from you. she needs to be able to realise that your hurting and that you dont want her to turn out the way shes heading..just be there for her and tell her that what happened in the past happened and that the person inside her that was hurt and used should be protected so that it doesnt happen again, but the way shes going it will
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