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im worried about my best friend..
im 15 years old and in the 9th grade ive been best friend with this girl named rebecca, we've been best friends since 6th grade and we were pretty much inseperable! we hung out every chance we could, she's slowly starting to change though and now its like she doesnt even want to hangout with me anymore. everytime i ask her to hang out with me shes always like ''i cant im grounded'' or ''my moms being gay and wont let me do anything'' and then like 20 minutes later on myspace she'll post her status as hanging out with so and so! when she just told me she was grounded. why would she lie to me? i mean i understand shes going to have other friends but that doesnt mean she has to get rid of all of her old ones.i'd rather her tell me the truth then lie to me, if she doesnt want to hangout with me i'd rather her just tell me instead of her just making some lame excuse! i mean why would she tell me shes grounded and then post that on myspace when not only is she my friend on there but i was online too! im her only true friend and she treats me like dirt, she doesnt even talk to me at school she just walks past me and looks at me. she took me off her top and everytime i try taking to her shes really short with me expecially when shes with her other friends. i even bought her something for christmas i messaged her on myspace saying that i got her a gift and that if she wanted me to i would bring it by after my mom gets off. all she replied back with is i have a friend over and then she signed off! i still havent been able to give her gift, because she still has no time for me. i want to confront her about it but i have no idea what to say i dont want her to hate me because she is my best friend i just dont know what to do. i actually care about our friendship and is willing to do anything i can to fix it so any advice will help!
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Ok, you should just give her a little more space. you know how us girls are we can't stand each other over the smallest problems. I can understand that you are her best friend but maybe she has madea new one. You need to confront her and when you do just tell her how much you want to be friends with her. Tell her just like you told me about how you are willing to do anything for your friendship. Also, find a few other friends she will soon realize what a great friend she is missing out on. I mean you are a really good best friend and she needs to know that. Maybe she is just going through one of those phases we all have with our friends you never know..... just try to confront her in a nice way.... good luck... hope i helped...
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You are not alone, as you probably can already tell from the advice you have received. I too went through the same thing. It's heartbreaking, so I can understand how you must be feeling.
You guys are growing up, and as you grow up you will find yourself growing apart from many of your old friends, but you will also get closer to many new ones. When the same thing happened to me I just stopped trying. Why would I want to hang out with someone who didn't want to hang out with me? I made new friends. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. High school is hard enough without having to make new friends, but I did. You can too.
Make peace with the situation. I didn't do that, and spent the next four years of my life at odds with this girl. She obviously disliked me for ignoring her and making new friends, and I disliked her for ditching me in the first place. We talked shortly after graduation, and even hung out once. We haven't spoken since, but I feel better knowing we don't hate each other. It's nice knowing it doesn't have to end like that.
If you feel up to it, confront her. Don't ask to go to her house, just do it. Be polite, but let her know how you feel. Explain your hurt and call her out on being a coward. Then tell her you have no desire to be friends with someone who doesn't care about you. Wish her well, and then leave. Meet new people, make new friends. You can do it with a little self esteem :)
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Whoa! A very similar situation happened to me with a girl who use to be my best friend. We were so close since 3rd grade...but once we got to junior high things were different. She started hanging out with a new crowd and I felt like I was left behind. We would talk but it wasn't the way it use to be. I ended bringing up the situation to her but she didn't want to hear it and didn't care! Right now we're no longer friends...I'm civil to her but I don't talk to her much its a shame. I miss the times we had and it took me a while to get over it and start hanging out with other people. My advice to you is tell her the truth, tell her how you're feeling and how you don't like hows she's treating you. And if she isn't going to even bother with it then sadly you need to move on. I know its hard to hear that and that you couldn't possibly see your life without her but some people change. Some people come in and out of our lives for a reason...at least I believe that. The truth is if there is a friendship two people need to make it work it can't just be one.
Just be honest with her and talk to her face to face and say what you need to. She is your friend afterall you should be able to talk to her about anything. Good Luck!
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omgg i wish i could talk to you on aim or something about this to tell you how people are when you get in highschool in DEPTH but we'll settle for this :) .
i'm a junior now so I've pretty much seen everything in highschool.. something happens in the transitioning period from 8th grade to 9th grade... people start being what i like to call FAKE...(which is what your little friend is)... some of the people who want to fit in act like they dont know you anymore...like they will just walk by you like they never used to know you in middle school. it's saddening and funny all at the same time.
some peoples personalities began to change too..some dont..I saw this stuff all the time as a 9th grader and even a 10th grader..it's really annoying ... but it's life. people change..people act fake..and the best thing for you to do is to DROP the fakes and find FOREVER FRIENDS.
i know i have a forever friend in a friend of mine named dianna...we've been friends since 7th grade and we're still the same with each other.
you're "friend" is ridiculous and she has absolutely NO respect for you..she doesnt care about you (in my opinion) im sorry to be so blunt but i just dont think she does because she tells you she cant hang out..then WRITES ABOUT HER HANGING OUT WITH OTHER PEOPLE ON THE MOST NOT-PRIVATE PLACE ON THE WORLD----THE INTERNET--MYSPACE..WHERE SHE KNOWS SHE HAS YOU AS A FRIEND. and she moved you off her top (meaning you're not her top friend at all anymore)..when someone walks by you in the hall and doesnt speak to you..(AND theyre supposed to be you're friend.) then you know you need to just move on and find new friends
**SORRY TO WRITE SO MUCH BUT THIS IS ALWAYS A HOT TOPIC FOR ME***
You need to keep the christmas present you got her....STOP contacting her trying to hang out with her..take her off your top and confront her. tell her how she has completely changed ..tell her everything you just typed here..be HONEST or youll regret it ..even in senior year you'll regret not telling her how you felt.... cut the bitch off lol..stopppp contactinggg herr and making yourself look stupid bc you're obviously a really nice girl who doesnt deserve such a bad "friend"
if you need any other highschool advice you can add me on myspacee myspace.com/grow_upp
<yea my url was written in 9th grade , i was pissed about people and immaturity..now i dont even care >
when people treat you a certain way...you need to stop talking to them, drop them.
btw i think im gonna start a site about highschool stuff ecspecially for the little freshmen.
goodluck girl i hope you find out what youre gonna do :D
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In high school, everything changes. The schoolwork, the priorities, and especially the people. Honestly this girl seems very ignorant, rude, and mean. I'm sorry for saying this bluntly, but in order to get your friendship straight with her, you have to confront her. Don't worry about if she will "hate" you, because if she does, then that shows her true colors and feelings towards your friendship. You do not deserve this what-so-ever, and should not have to put up with it if she keeps treating you like this. I know you consider her your "best friend" but thats a big title, and she hasn't proved herself at all. Many friendships do get messed up as you grow up, but that's life. Along the way, you'll learn half of the people are fake. I've been in your position before. I confronted the girl, and she ended up making it a huge ordeal and later dumped me as a friend. I made a lot of friends, and she always had her friends be mean to me, because she was to foolish to say anything to my face, which proved two things. 1) She was jealous that I actually did not care and was not under her control anymore. 2) She had little to zero confidence to actually waste her time talking about me. This girl is acting if she may feel "better" than you because she has all these other* friends and can still treat you like crap. But believe me girl, karmas a bit!
So try talking to her, and if she completely ignores it or turns it around on you, dump her. Believe me, you'll realize how many of your true friends will come through. If you do end up not being friends with her, just ignore her. Don't talk about it, don't try to get people on your side, nothing. Because it will only be more drama and things that could be turned around to make you the bad person. Stay in there! Everything will get better. If you need more help, just message me! (:
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Please understand that adolescence is a time of deep loyalties and even deeper betrayals. I am sorry that your "best friend" has decided to dump you and does not have the courage to face you or to be honest with you about it. Sweetie, there is just no sugar coating for the lesson you are learning here.
It is painful and difficult to accept but Rebbecca is telling you that she does not want to be your friend anymore. Not best friends, not any friends. The cold hard truth is that Rebbecca is hanging out with new friends and she feels that you are cramping her style and she does not want to spend time with you.
I know that you are concerned with losing this friendship and are frantically doing the most desperate and self-sacrificing things you can think of to save it. It will not work. AND THIS BEHAVIOR IS BAD FOR YOU. She is gone and will not be back unless or until one of her new friends does the same thing to her.
And you can rest assured that Rebbecca will suffer the same fate at the hands of a "best friend" during her lifetime. Everyone gets dumped in this life. You are at the most vulnerable age both as to the severity of the dumping and your sensitivity to it. Please be gentle with yourself.
I am seriously concerned about your self-esteem. I would like to see you learn to be your own best friend. This requires a deeply ingrained and conditioned belief in your own value. I fear that you do not realize the great value that is you and how wonderful an addition you are to the world.
You must learn to tell yourself that you love yourself and that you are important and cherished and deserving of respect and dignity and you must never let anyone tell you differently or allow them to treat you as badly as Rebbecca has treated you.
When you learn to care for yourself and believe in yourself then the quality of relationships available to you will far exceed that of the Rebbeccas of the world.
Have compassion for Rebbecca but do not buy her any more gifts. Cut her from your friends lists and only allow those persons who treat you well to be your friend.
This is a hard lesson to learn. But if you can master this now at 15 then your life will be full and happy and your relationships will blossom and you will flourish and thrive and know love and companionship and the great value that is your human heart.
Please be very kind to yourself and write back and tell me how you are doing. I care about you. I really do.
Viniya
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hmmm it sounds to me like your friend is holding a grudge against you.maybe she herd something or someone made soemthing up to try break up your friendhsip.it happens!i mean what id do is 2 things.
you can first start with not talking to her until she talks to you.like give her space and room to miss you.dont pay attention to her and see if shell ask if theres soemthing wrong.if she does then you can let her know whats been on your mind and how you feel.just be calm about it and dont let the situation turn into an arguement.
the other approach is that you can go upto her when shes allone and not with her other friends and ask her if youv done anything to hurt her or dome anything wrong because you feel that your drifting apart.let her know that you miss spending time with her and fear that shes angry with you.tell her that you dont think youv done anythign wrong but if you have to let you know.
stay calm and try not to let it blow up in your face.
i hope this helped
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You need to talk to her about it. Try not to be too aggressive or emotional about it, if you can help it. One day when you can actually get in touch with her (or you could leave her a message on Myspace or something), just calmly let her know that it seems like she's been avoiding you and hanging out with other friends instead, and that it's really hurt your feelings because you've always considered her your best friend. Hopefully in talking to her, the two of you can work something out. But if she continues to act this way, you may just have to let her go and find a new best friend. Trust me, I know it sucks to lose a close friend, but sometimes it happens. Sometimes people change, and you deserve better than a "friend" who's going to blow you off and lie to you.
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