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Hi, I am Alison. Well I live in New York. I love helping people out and giving advice out to people. Fashion is my thing, so if you need any advice on that don't be afraid to ask = ]. I love getting messages for advice so feel free to ask me anything. I'm up to great oppurtunities in life. Ummm there isn't that much more to know about me!
advice
All of my friends are really enemies. But how can they stop doing this to me? They do really mean things. How can I stop them?
Everyone has fake people surrounding them but it's your choice to let them be in your life. Cut them out completely and don't look back. People are going to be mean but it's your choice for them to surround you and let them effect you. When they see how much they effect you, they will just continue to do the same things they are doing. There is plenty of good people out there, and i'm sure you will find people who will treat you good. (:
Hey,
I am in school and I am having trouble's with my friends. I don't know if they're trully my BEST friends or just friends or not even friends. ( I will give some examples)
1 - One friend tell's me when I am doing somethin wrong and she counts all of my mistakes)
2- My other friend says were besties but never hangs with me at school..
Those were some examples.
Please HELP!
There is no real true definition of friendship, it varies and changes based on the type of person you are and what you want. If a friend is counting your mistakes, point it out to her you don't appreciate it. She shouldn't be pointing out your mistakes while she is not perfect either. It goes by the saying "Before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean." Which means no one is perfect and should not be pointing out others imperfections. And for the second friend, how about you really try to make a big effort and call he up and plan something on the weekend. Take the intiative and if she fails to meet you and keeps holding off, then start to evaluate your friendship. I hope this helped, and I'm always here if you need any more advice! (:
so this group of friends I leaned back on because i was depressed and needed i guess a non popular click to hear me out. When i was sad and lonely i was like them, but now i am out going and i wanna be closer friends with my REAL friends, that i love. So i'm not really depressed anymore. I just don't want to be around people that were like me in the past, they don't fit in with my click and i don't want to be friends with them, so how do i get out of it? And please don't say "you shouldn't not be friends with hem anymore" They are annoying and bossy and crazy that why there not in my popular friends group, i just want them out. Not to be like a bitch but they really helped me out a lot but i really don't want to be friends with them anymore, and the people i am hanging out with now or my long-time friends are good listeners too. They are more social and out going and loud. Which is exactly my type thats how i am. But i felt out of place a year ago so i leaned on those other friends, but i know i cant have a relationship with both. SO HOW DO I STOP BEING FRIENDS WITH THEM? THANK YOU.
I could say that is very low, but then I'm just contradicting myself because I have done the SAME EXACT THING. I understand what you are going through, but looking from the outside in, you need to realize that it's not just about you, it's about them also. These people were there for you when you needed people the most. Where were your other friends? It seems like you just used them while your "longtime besties" were out being your *real* friends. You shouldn't be friends with these people however if you don't even like them. It's your decision and whatever happens in the future will be based on your choice. I'm going to be straight foward and tell you these people aren't going to handle you leaving them so great. Either way, slowly drifting or just immediatly cutting communication is going to show them you want to have nothing to do with the friendships. Everyone can kind of sense when people don't like them, so I'm sure they already have a few hints. Just do it lightly and decide what will be easier. I say drift slowly, that way its not so obvious. Don't treat them like there nothing, remember THEY WERE THERE FOR YOU. Good luck(:
Ive been friends with this girl for 6 years.She has always been so nice and really sweet..Then she like tunred into this rude thing..Like pushing people. Calling them names.And being a whore. She told me that all my friends hate me and i am not the girl to take that from people..So what do i do.Be like bye for good.Or what.Ive already sat down and talked to her. SHe still doesnt get it.& no one really likes her. SO yeh
First off, this girl is dealing with her own problems and is definitely taking a lot of it out on you. Second off, your opinion about your friendship with her should be defined on how she treats you, not what people think of her* If you've been friends with her for six years, she knows how to push your buttons and by saying your friends hate you definitely triggers something. Before you shut out the friendship completely, try just talking to her one more time. Not so much you the focus, but her. Something might really be going on in her life that may result in her doing this. Family issues, insecurities, etc. Your friend might really need you most, so don't shut her out completely. But if you do try and nothing results, rethink the friendship and decide if its really worth it.
This is kinda random-but I've come to realize i really don't have a best friend?- I used to have one,from when i was 3 up until about 3 years ago (she's older, going to college,working-ect)and we've just grown apart. So lately i've been looking around a noticing- everyone has a best friend. I sort of feel like i've missed my chance at getting that title, because i'm 16 and usually your best friend's the one you've known since you were little,you know? I really have no one, i mean i have awesome close close friends-but none that i'd really consider that one best friend-anymore. Am I alone in this? Am I..missing something? I guess it's got me feeling kind of down XD.
No, your not alone. Because I'm right there with you! I used to also think that everyone had all these best friends from preschool, and I was the only one that didn't. But actually, a lot of people don't. I recently just drifted apart from my best friend, sometimes people change, and thats life. It's not a bad thing to not have a "best friend." I know sometimes you might feel like you have no one because everyone seems paired, but just think of it as "limiting," you have a lot of close friends, and thats great (: Sometimes you don't need a best friend to define yourself, or fill that emptiness you have. One day you might actually find someone you consider your best friend. Just because everyone seems to have a best friend* doesn't mean you NEED one. One day the right person will come along. Your not missing anything and your very lucky to have a lot of close friends in your life. Try to look on the bright side. If you need any more advice, just ask (:
im 15 years old and in the 9th grade ive been best friend with this girl named rebecca, we've been best friends since 6th grade and we were pretty much inseperable! we hung out every chance we could, she's slowly starting to change though and now its like she doesnt even want to hangout with me anymore. everytime i ask her to hang out with me shes always like ''i cant im grounded'' or ''my moms being gay and wont let me do anything'' and then like 20 minutes later on myspace she'll post her status as hanging out with so and so! when she just told me she was grounded. why would she lie to me? i mean i understand shes going to have other friends but that doesnt mean she has to get rid of all of her old ones.i'd rather her tell me the truth then lie to me, if she doesnt want to hangout with me i'd rather her just tell me instead of her just making some lame excuse! i mean why would she tell me shes grounded and then post that on myspace when not only is she my friend on there but i was online too! im her only true friend and she treats me like dirt, she doesnt even talk to me at school she just walks past me and looks at me. she took me off her top and everytime i try taking to her shes really short with me expecially when shes with her other friends. i even bought her something for christmas i messaged her on myspace saying that i got her a gift and that if she wanted me to i would bring it by after my mom gets off. all she replied back with is i have a friend over and then she signed off! i still havent been able to give her gift, because she still has no time for me. i want to confront her about it but i have no idea what to say i dont want her to hate me because she is my best friend i just dont know what to do. i actually care about our friendship and is willing to do anything i can to fix it so any advice will help!
In high school, everything changes. The schoolwork, the priorities, and especially the people. Honestly this girl seems very ignorant, rude, and mean. I'm sorry for saying this bluntly, but in order to get your friendship straight with her, you have to confront her. Don't worry about if she will "hate" you, because if she does, then that shows her true colors and feelings towards your friendship. You do not deserve this what-so-ever, and should not have to put up with it if she keeps treating you like this. I know you consider her your "best friend" but thats a big title, and she hasn't proved herself at all. Many friendships do get messed up as you grow up, but that's life. Along the way, you'll learn half of the people are fake. I've been in your position before. I confronted the girl, and she ended up making it a huge ordeal and later dumped me as a friend. I made a lot of friends, and she always had her friends be mean to me, because she was to foolish to say anything to my face, which proved two things. 1) She was jealous that I actually did not care and was not under her control anymore. 2) She had little to zero confidence to actually waste her time talking about me. This girl is acting if she may feel "better" than you because she has all these other* friends and can still treat you like crap. But believe me girl, karmas a bit!
So try talking to her, and if she completely ignores it or turns it around on you, dump her. Believe me, you'll realize how many of your true friends will come through. If you do end up not being friends with her, just ignore her. Don't talk about it, don't try to get people on your side, nothing. Because it will only be more drama and things that could be turned around to make you the bad person. Stay in there! Everything will get better. If you need more help, just message me! (:
I really need help.
okay, so i have a bestfriend.
but theres so many problems.
i love her so much, its just like i cant live with or without her! whenever its just me and her, things are PERFECT. whenever someone else is around, she acts like im noone. im invisible. im a ghost. its horrible. like, i feel so clueless and helpless. noone understands how i feel.
please, please. someone help me? :(
Believe me, I understand completely what you are going through. When you are with her, shes a person you feel like you can't live without. You tell her everything and anything, and she always seems to be supporting you. But whenever your around other people, it's like everyone and anyone is more important than you. You kind of feel used in a way. The thing is, she is taking you for granted. You can live without someone but you choose not to, thats how everyone works! You need to tell her this and how your feeling, you don't deserve this. If she decides to make this a conflict when you confront her about this or just completely ignore it, then you really need to rethink your friendship with her. Just because when your with someone they are perfect does that mean they are worth all the pain you get when their around other people. I really do hope this friendship works out, but you need to know that you are worth more than how you are being treated by your friend. Never let someone tell you/ treat you like your nothing, because in the end, its just going to backfire on them. Just talk to her, she might not be realizing this, but if she ignores it, rethink the friendship completely! Neep any more help, ask me! (:*
Okay so my best friend since... ever and me are fighting, well sorta. I'll give you the story it may be long but it is essential to knowing my problem:
Okay so yeah we have been best friends for six years {sophmores}. And now he is changing! It is horrible, his parents are seperating he is moving away, in a year!!! I feel so bad for him! However he has treated me like crap! He won't text me or anything! I txted him one day and asked him something. When he didn't answer i got my cousins phone and txted him, and he replied to him!!!!
When I asked him why he wouldn't talk to me he says he forgot to! Also he only likes to talk to me or be my partner, or eat lunch with me when no one else in the world is around! Its like he is so into being popular now.
He has changed his looks, wears different clothes, and he flirts with sluts. I know that sounds bad, but its true. He used to like descent people and now he talks to girls who will just use him!! But what can i say to him??? Nothing , its his life. But its eating away at me watching him change. Also his grades are dropping. And why is it he can talk about anything to someone he doens't know, yet me his friend, can't even have a conversation!
What should I do, after he didn't txt me a week ago tomrorow i got mad at him, and have been ever since! But i miss him i guess... he doesn't even care i am mad at him!! He doesn't even CARE>>>>>>>>>>> ugh.
Is he my friend or what, what should I do. I don't wanna watch him change, but i guess i just don't have much a choice do i? :(
16/f
There's a few reasons to why he is acting the way he is. First off, this may be the only way that seems to him that he can handle this break up between his parents. The second reason could be that he he is trying to drift away from you because he is scared of what will happen when he moves and won't be able to see you. The third reason could be that he just isn't realizing what exactly he is doing, but in my opinion choice a and choice b seem to be what this guy is doing.
You guys have been friends for six years now, I'm sure he is just out of sorts with everything that is going on. He probably realizes how hard the move will be on both of you. You need to sit him down, in person* and talk to him about this. I can tell you really do care about him a lot, and make sure he realizes that. If he keeps doing this, I'm not very sure on what to do from there. You can either keep trying for him, or just let it be. He will though regret what he has done to you when he moves if he keeps up with ignoring you. People do grow up, sometimes not for the better, and sometimes you just have to accept that. If you met him when you guys were only 10, and now your both 16, then of course you both have grown up and changed dramatically. He's probably just not handling everything very well, and I'm sure by you being mad at him is just making things worse which makes him just block you out, even though he does care about you. Just talk to him, I hope everything works out. If you need more advice, just email me!(:
*Leya* said she hates me again but I dont know why. Im done with her and moving on. Im not going to waste time trying to get one friend back that is always causing drama. Thanks for every thing it really helped.
Yeah, believe me, by staying away from her it will help tons and cut down on the drama. It's a waste of time trying to make something work that isn't meant to. I hope everything works!
i use to be an amazing student- always did my work, never failed a test, teachers loved me, etc. ever since high shcool i just slowly got stupider. i dont know why and with that, made me stop caring. now i feel like im a failure and that im so foolish and i hate it.
how do i get smart- i know that sounds absurd but i just need to know
First off, your not stupid. High school can sometimes be the stepping stone to not caring, or also just be a lot tougher* than middle school. I know what you mean completely, you feel like theres so much more out there. Like hanging out with friends, sports, etc. Sometimes you might just be tired after school and end up just not caring on doing anything. A way to change might be by trying to focus more. Kind of change your priorities. For example, you could set goals for yourself. Like your not allowed to go on your computer until all your homework is down. Or make some deals with your parents. Maybe get something you really want after you do good on tests. Not only will this help your motivation, but it will also show your parents that your trying. Try to maybe come up with new study habits, or even study enviorments. I'm sure everything will work out, you just need to up your motivation drive!(:
Sophie is one of my good friends. Everytime I log onto MSN shes like "omg guess what oi" and then shes either really angry at someone or really upset. So I try to help her out in everyway possible like friends should. Trying to make her feel better and all sorts. But she never helps me out when I have a problem. Shes just like "dont worry about it, hes just a **** or somethng" and I care for her when she needs my help. I help her throught all her problems and everything and then i was angry about something one time and shes just like "you can be angry IM angry" and i was like woahhh settle down. I dont know what to do about her. And i cant get angry at her or in a fight because shes one of those people that you.. tell all your secrets to and if you get in a fight she will tell EVERYONE about EVERYTHING and my secrets cannot be told without me getting the biggest smash... what do I do ??? PLEASE HELP. sorry its long ! :P
That entire description about your friend makes her sound very selfish and mean. If this is true, you need to approach this girl and tell her exactly what your really feeling. My opinion would not be to really talk to her but actually be aquaintances. I've been in the same exact situation with this girl. She started drama out of nothing, and always had something to talk about, which was even more drama. She always knew how to turn everything around and make it sound like you were to blame. I know your nervous and scared she will tell your secrets, and on the negative side she probably would, because that might be her character. (Which is by the way not a good friend at all) I just broke off the friendship with this girl only just a few days ago, and sometimes I wish though it was more civil. Try to slowly drift apart if this girl starts to show signs of selfish behavior. It sounds to me she has a lot of drama on her hand, and someday, she's going to get everyone really annoyed with it. I'm sorry i've been so blunt, but honestly I would talk to her first, and if nothing changes, I say just drift away.
You can have more than one best friend can't you?
Yes, deffinetly. Sometimes when you have just one "best friend" it can limit you a lot, and also make it tough to always depend on someone all the time. Having a few best friends is always great because you will have a great support system and people that you will be able to have fun with all the time. It's a great option and also your choice if you want to consider a few people your best friends. I say go for it!(:
Thanks for all the advice. *Leya* and me worked it out and we both said we were sorry to eachother. We are kinda friends, we dont fight but we dont really hang out much. It feels better to know that no longer is there a girl right across from you that hates you. Thanks for everything. You should be a proffesional 8]
Thanks a lot! And I say just be "friends" with Leya, but just don't let her have your trust or anything until she actually proves herself. It's sometimes better to be civil with a person than have to be best friends. Keeps the drama away!(:
Thanks a lot for your advice. I finally sat with my friends again today and it felt so good! Even tho she said she is going to take my best friend away from me and make everyone hate me and that she is going to find out what everyone thinks of me, I dont care because thanks to you its not affecting me. I feel much better and I got some advice from my bff and I talked to the girls who *Leya* said agreed with her that im obnoxious and they said they dont know what shes talking about and I called a friend she said she was going to try to get to hate me and she said she will not believe her and that she will always be my friend. My life is much better and I have you to thank for it. Thank you SO much for your help! Your a lifesaver!
I'm really happyy everything worked out!
And your welcome! If you need any more help ever, just email me! (:
My friend always gets rrealy mean when she's talking to her boyfriend. Whether it's online, or on the phone, she's just always really mean to me. I've tried thinking of why she might be doing it, but the only reason I could come up with is that she's trying to make herself look better. I'd like to think my friend was different but people can surprise you. My question here is what do I do?
The first thing I say to do is to confront her. While this may be hurting you a lot, your friend might not actually realize what she is doing. Sometimes when girls are around their boyfriends, they feel more confident and sometimes "better" than other girls. If it is true though that she is doing this to impress her boyfriend, than she is not being a true friend to you. Everyone should be treated with respect, and if she is not treating you nicely, even after you talk to her, than I would slowly stop trying to be around her with her boyfriend. If more drama comes out of this, then take a little break from the friend. She should in the longrun realize how much of a good friend you are, but if she doesnt, then the friendship was not meant to be. So just talk to her, I'm sure everything will work out(:
She is now saying that everyone she talks to hates me and she is teasing me about my grades even tho i have straight A's and so does she. I triend going into advanced math but when i switched to regular she made fun of me for not making it. she told me she doesnt need me anymore and that i dont have any friends and that she has a signed note by some of my friends from math (shes in my math class) saying im obnoxious when i know im not. i dont know what to do and it would really help if you could give me some more advice. its wierd cuz she is one of she nices girls i know. i just wish i could get her to stop but if i tell she'll show our math teacher the note thats signed and ill be overpowered even tho i've been nothing but nice to those girls.
I'm really sorry that this girl bothering you so much! No one deserves that! But it sounds to me, she is by far jealous of you. She knows your weaknesses and tries to control you with them. She says she doesn't need you anymore, well on the other hand you don't need her either. I know the easier way to you is to just be friends with her, than feel like your all alone. If you know your not obnoxious, try not to keep thinking about it, even know I know it can be really hard at times. Sometimes when I feel horrible, I make a huge list of what I love about myself and it makes me feel a lot better even when I'm crying my eyes out over something I look back on and see was not worth crying over. I just got out of a horrible friendship with two girls I trusted a lot. But it turned out that I made a lot more friends, and realized who would be there for me and who wouldn't. By her treating you crappy, I promise you a hundred percent she will feel the same way as you do right now one day. I say just hold your head up high, ignore the girl, and try to make some new friends.
(&& by the way, if the girl trys to get to you, just laugh, and turn away. This will make her furious knowing that she isn't getting to you. But if this starts to get out of hand, no matter what, tell an adult! I know you don't want to be a "tattle-tale" but believe me it will help a lot!)
If you need any more advice feel free to ask me!(:
I feel like my so called "best friend" doesnt care about me. I realyl don't feel like anyone does really, and that sounds so stupid. I mean if i'm upset or something and just have my hands over my face, no one asks me if i'm okay or anything. I just don't understand what i'm doing wrong. I try to be the best friend that I can be and end up failing miserably. Just like with everything else. I try being the best sister, daughter, anything and I fail. What am I doing wrong?
If you don't believe your best friend cares about you, *talk about it. Approach her and say what comes to your mind about the situation. I can see where your coming from about feeling like no one cares about you. I've been in the same position and thrived for attention in any ways. But the thing you have to realize is that people do care about you, but the people that care about you the most is your family. I'm sure you do not fail at being the best sister, or best daughter, but no one says you have to or should be the "best." I'm sure your family loves you the most and doesn't expect you to be perfect. So i say just love yourself, love your family, and talk to your best friend. Everything will work out!
I have a friend named *Leya* and she started to ignore me all of a sudden. So we got into this fight where she wouldn't tell me what happened. And finally she told the reason was because im obnoxious and annoying and stupid. I don't know what happened because i've always been nice and complimented her. I sit alone now in the back of the cafeteria because all my friends hate me. I don't get what happened between us. It makes no sense....I don't know what to do. I don't eat any more and i usually end up crying a lot. She told me she hated me and that we weren't meant to be friends. I just....Ugh!!!! I don't know what to do! I have no friends and everyone hates me! Even my Best Freind since pre K! Please! Anyone please help me!!! Please!
I pretty much went through this actually a few times, minus the friend since pre k and sitting in the lunch room though. First off, girls are pretty much just love to hate on other girls, even you and me are like that whether we admit it or not. Obviously this girl Leya is not a true friend, and when she realizes how fake her new friends are shes really going to regret her decision. It may feel like everyone hates you, but believe me they dont. I know this is a complicated situation, but if you think on the good side, its a way to open up and make new friends. Maybe one day in class approach a few new friends and then you may be able to sit with them at lunch and even become really close with them. Don't ever let somebody tell you who you are and arent. A few years ago, I let a girl tell me I was absolutely nothing and of how annoying and dumb I was. Most of the times the girls are doing this just to feel more confident, and they pick people who seem very vulnerable because they may be very nice. Believe me, when you feel your worst, everything *has* to get better. Because when your at the bottom theres no way but up. So i say make some new friends, and know your just as good as those other girls. If you need any more help, email me!(:
Well im not sure why but i like this kid that is 13, im am 15 will be 16 in june. He doesnt act like he is this young and is really sweet. Is it bad that i like him??? what should i do?? Plus if anyone finds out do you think that i would have a bad rep at my high school??
It's not bad to like him. No one can really ever control who they like. If you really like him, and he likes you, go for it(: Don't worry about your rep, because you could really be missing out on something. If your going to base on what other people think to control who you go out with, it will just hold you back. These people won't even matter in a few years, but you still may be very close with him then. Go for it, it might be worth it(:
OK so i know this guy and he's older than me, not by much like a year. So you see both him and i are taken but we can almost never see our partners. Like his girlfriend is younger than me so her parents dont let her date him and my boyfriends parents wont let him date me for religious reasons. So this guy and i have been txting all the time and we do stuff like 'i gotta go do this or that i'll txt you back when i'm done' and we hang out a lot since we live real close to eachother. You see once he was like 'lets hang friday' and i was like 'sure' but then he got invited to go BK with some friends and he wanted me to come with him but i said no, i dont know his friends. so he was like 'i'll come over when i finish here then.' and i was like 'no its ok you dont have to' and his answer was 'No i'm coming and your not stopping me' so i was like 0.0 oh. and sometimes he'll make jokes and i'll be like 'oh no you didn't' and he'll hug me and be like 'oh come on i'm just playin.' and i mean he txts me a lot and sometimes we're not even saying anything just like being stupid. sometimes we talk about eachothers relationships too. and i dunno if he likes me or not but he's left a group of his friends like twice already to hang out with me. He even came with me on a friend of mines date to the movies and when her date was like a real bad guy he wouldnt let me go get her away from him alone, he's also stood up for me when someone teased me but like he then teased my friend. so i dunno, do you think he likes me? if you wanna ask me any questions about it i'll add additional information after being asked
Okay this guy deffinetly seems like he does like you. But the fact is, he does have a girlfriend. You seem like you like this guy also, but you have a boyfriend also. You never want to be the person the guy goes to whenever he can't hang out with his girlfriend or whenever their in a fight. Believe me, you will tend to feel used. I've been in this situation a few times, and most of the guys were jerks. But one of the them actually was real, and we just happened to really fall for each other. Have a talk with him, figure out everything he is thinking. Make sure both of you guys don't lead both of the relationships you are in on because your scared you will hurt them. In the long run, your just hurting them more. This guy may end up being even more great then boyfriend and also someone you can hang out with all of the time. Go with the flow, if your really meant to be with this guy, just let everything fall into place(: