I'm Abby, a 21-year-old college student with way too much time on her hands, thus resulting in my participation in sites like this. I'm currently a sophomore, and double majoring in Creative Writing and Psychology. My career goals are to make a living as a writer, and to work at Disney World. I have many random hobbies, such as reading, writing, listening to music, playing video games, watching anime, etc. I'm a huge nerd. I'm a tomboy, weird, and opinionated. I think that's about it.
As for this column, obviously it exists for me to give advice. I'm not the most qualified person in the world--I'll be the first person to admit that I've lived a rather sheltered life, and I'm not much of an expert on anything. (I'm one of those people who's read about everything, but hasn't actually experienced a damn thing.) But I like to think I've picked up at least a little bit of wisdom from the experiences I HAVE had, plus some knowledge from my endless curiosity. So if I can share that with somebody and help them out, then awesome, right?
Gender: Female
Location: Macon, Georgia
Member Since: December 30, 2006
Answers: 66
Last Update: January 7, 2010
Visitors: 5821
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I really don’t believe that posting this or any other problem on the net will REALLY help, cos either way, I’m gonna feel the same etc..
But I’m trying to do anything here, maybe ranting to strangers will help, I don’t know!
I don’t want any sympathy, I JUST WANT HELP. I’m sure you get a lot of posts like this here but please don’t give me cliche lines like ‘things will get better’ , ‘You’ll feel better in time’ or ‘You have people who care about you’ …..It will be a waste of your time.
If anyone does have any suggestions that genuinely will help, then I’d really appreciate that..
I am beyond the point of feeling bad…I’m just completely past it. I feel like RUBBISH absolute rubbish EVERY SINGLE DAY. I went through some crappy depressive periods as a teen,a ll of which I got over, but this is unbearable.
I think really bad thoughts, about just ending it, ending everything, which results in me feeling really selfish, and I feel horrible for even considering doing something like that to the few people who care about me…..I mean, I’ve even gone to the lengths of planning the whole thing out, where it would happen, how it would happen, what I’ll say to people I’ll leave behind. It’s gone to the extent that, anything I say, or things other people say, stick in my head and I think, ‘I wonder will they remember me saying this and see it as something more when I’m gone’ or people say something completely innocent and in my mind, there’s only one thing it can relate to, and that’s thinking about how I’ll finish myself off..
In one way I don’t want to be a coward and just give up on life and take the easy way out, when many people have it worse, but I honestly cannot help it, there are some days when I come SO close to doing something, I actually really genuinely scare myself. I don’t talk to other people, and I won’t. I’m not that kind of person, I know you’re probably gonna say ‘It will help to get it off your chest’, well, that’s why I’m doing it here. I cannot talk to people, even the people that I used to be absolute best friends with, I barely talk to anymore.
At that, even WHEN I talk to them (or anyone) I act really, really happy.. Like TOO happy, I just have too put it on so much cos I never, ever feel like talking to anyone, or participating in things that everyone else loves doing I just, I know it’s really sad, but this is something that I cannot help, despite trying for years… I’m always the one that laughs the loudest, and seems to be having the most fun, when I really have to just..stop myself from crying and really try and seem happy, when I feel like **** inside.
I don’t wanna go all depressive cliche here but I have to be as honest as I can so, sorry.
Every tiny thing pisses me off, and since I’m never happy and I fake being happy SO much, that every now and again I just snap and can’t pretend anymore and then everyone’s like, why are you sad, you’re always so happy…
I always pass it off as just ‘a bad mood’ or ‘one of those days’ and no one knows that I feel like this ALL THE TIME. Everything irritates me, I get angry at everything, I can barely stand ANYONE I know anymore, not even my family.
I just feel like I want to be away from everyone, and I feel almost jealous when someone else talks about their problems to me, cos I know I can never do that… I know that’s irrational …. but so is a lot of this.
I just feel crap, and I’m fed up of going through the extremes of faking to be really ecstatic every day, and then really, really depressed the rest of the time.
I genuinely feel like I can’t do it anymore.
I don’t fear for myself as much as I used to, there has been times (one in particular) where I really felt like I was going to end my life, I felt like I had to.
But I didn’t, I got over the absolute extreme of it, and back to feeling extremely glum every day, rather than suicidal.
But now and then, I feel it coming back. That feeling creeps back in sometimes, and I do things to take my mind off it but nothing does.
I’m safe for now, but I do know for a fact that someday, the one ending my own life will be me.
For now, I just needed to let this all out somewhere….You can judge all you want, it won’t bother me.
Thanks for reading all this, any of you that are and sorry it’s so long and probably going to put a downer on you all, but that’s what this place is for I guess..I also apologise if some of this is uncomprehendable, I kinda just typed whatever came to my mind so..
Another thing, this isn’t OVER anything, there isn’t any major events that may have triggered this, in the past few years I’ve gone through about six funerals, all of very close friends/ family, and I got through it. It isn’t because of that, or the fact that I don’t get on with some people. It’s not over some stupid guy that dumped me, like a lot of the posts I see here, I’m not that naive.. So don’t ask if there’s anything that could have triggered this, I’m just like this for no appearant reason, and have been for many, many years…It’s just, the last few months it’s gotten way, way worse to the point all the above is happening… I mean, today, I feel pretty down, but compared to what I usually feel, this is normal for me. I haven’t felt like going out, or talking to anyone, and this is one of the good days.
I’m fine right now, but I KNOW for an absolute fact that if I don’t do something, I’m gonna be back where I was a few weeks ago, planning my own end, thinking about how it will happen, thinking about how much I want it to happen.
I don’t want to be like that, I don’t WANT it to happen that way.
I can feel myself getting like that again sometimes, and I NEED to do something, before it gets too late, not to sound dramatic or anything, but that’s literally how it is. Please don't suggest going to the doctor or anything cos it isn't really an option for me, besides the fact that I'm not comfortable about going on medication so early in my life, I don't want to depend on drugs to stay happy for the rest of my life..
Anyway, I’ll leave it at that.. Thanks in advance for help.
Signed,
Desperate :’( (link)
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For the record, I completely understand how you feel. I've struggled with depression myself, as well as had many friends who have gone through it. And that's exactly what you're going through. You'd be surprised how many people have experienced it at one point or another--as well as how curable it is.
If you have a friend that you think won't judge you or tell you anything stupid like "just snap out of it" etc., then I really would recommend trying to talk to somebody about how you're feeling. You'd be amazed how supportive friends can be, and how much it can help knowing that they're there for you.
Even if you don't do that, you need to talk to someone about how you're feeling. A therapist, a counselor at school, someone like that. The way you've been feeling is fully fixable--you do NOT have to keep feeling this way. And it doesn't mean that you're weak or that there's anything wrong with you. You're a very strong, perfectly normal person--you just need some outside help right now to get you back on your feet, just like everyone else does. Nobody can always do everything by themselves. And getting treatment doesn't have to involve any kind of medication. There are numerous different types of therapy available, and if you find the right therapist for you, that alone can have you feeling so much better so quickly.
I recently had to call 911 for a friend who attempted suicide, because he was depressed and would not get treatment. So I personally am going to ask you, both for your own sake and for the sake of the people who love you, to get some kind of help for how you're feeling. If you had cancer, would you go to the doctor? Of course you would, because cancer is life-threatening. And so is depression. You shouldn't treat it any differently.
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heyy.. you'll probably see this question later on, but i wanted advice sooner.. what should i expect my first time having sex.. as far as the physical feeling, i know everyone is different but i want some kind of knowledge going into it. like things that could possibly go wrong, or things to do to make it better.. thanks in advance. (link)
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There's a really good guide to your first time having sex here:
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexuality/first_intercourse_101
As far as more specific advice, obviously it would help if I knew whether you're a guy or a girl. But in general, if you're a girl (or a guy and your partner is also a virgin), don't necessarily expect it to be easy going. It doesn't have to hurt unbearably if you're comfortable and use plenty of lube, but it may take several tries to feel pain-free and pleasurable, and it may even take several tries for him to get in. If it does, it doesn't mean you're doing it wrong or that there's anything wrong with you, so relax. As far as making it better, for both sexes, I think the most important things I could stress are comfort and lube. Lube makes things much easier, even after the first time, and makes condoms less likely to break, so it's really a win-win situation. And as far as comfort, what that means will vary hugely from person to person, but the important thing is that you be comfortable with what you're doing. That may mean doing it in a specific position, not doing it with a specific partner, using more than one method of birth control, or just waiting to have sex. Whatever you need to feel comfortable, do it. And I probably don't have to stress this, but just in case, make sure you have safe sex. Pregnancy isn't the only thing to worry about--you can still get an STI unless you use a condom, and some of them can be fatal.
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First of all I am 20 years old trying to findout if I am pregnant? I took a home pregnancy test to findout if I am pregnant it came out negative. I have been having different symptoms lately, really really moody , I also for the past 2 monthes have had shorter, lighter periods also lately I have been having alot of brown discharge. I'm trying to findout if I could be pregnant, I was told numerous people expierence the false negatives etc from many different friends whom have children of their own now. If possible any advice would help me out alot! Thanks! (link)
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False negatives are possible, yes, especially if you tested at the wrong time (you have to wait at least until you've officially missed your period for it to be accurate). You could take another test to see if it comes out positive, and/or visit your doctor. They can give you a pregnancy test that'll be way more accurate than the ones you can get over the counter, and if it also turns out negative, then let them know what's going on. It could be a sign of health problems other than pregnancy--or it could be nothing at all. The only way to know is to talk to a doctor.
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well, i'm 15 years old and JUST started my period today I know not normal! most people start at like 12 or 13. But I bleed through today at school... and i'm superrr heavy and I heard with pads it's really easy to bleed through and tampons, I would wear them but i'm to scared to put one in, i've heard it hurts the first time you put one in.. WHAT DO I DO!?!
:/
(link)
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It's really not all that abnormal. Yes, most girls start their periods at 12 or 13, but it's perfectly normal to not get yours until 16 or later. As for your heavy bleeding, you could always try getting larger pads. They come in various absorbencies--of course the lighter ones are more comfortable and feel less like wearing a diaper, but you may need to wear the heavy ones to avoid leaking through. Your first day or two is also usually the heaviest, so you may be able to go back to lighter pads afterward.
As far as tampons, despite what you've been told (including by people on here, I see...), tampons do NOT hurt as long as you're healthy, you use it right, and you have the right brand. (AKA don't get Tampax. Playtex Gentle Glide is awesome.) Yes, it'll probably feel a little uncomfortable your first few times because you're not used to having anything inside your vagina, but there should never be any pain. You get used to it quickly, and there's a lot of advantages to using them. Once it's in, if it's been inserted right (and you just have to follow the directions--it's not difficult), you can't even feel that it's there. So while you should probably stick to pads until you're a little more comfortable with your period, if you want to try tampons, don't be afraid--there's absolutely no reason to be. On the other hand, if you're comfortable with pads and would rather stick with them, there's nothing wrong with that, either. There's pros and cons to both.
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15/f
i recently had safe sex about a week ago and am expectin my period in about another week but for the past two days i've been getting this weird pinkish discharge. could i be pregnant? (link)
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It's really impossible to tell at this point. If you were using some form of birth control, odds are better than not than you're not pregnant, but it can still happen. The only way to be sure is to wait on your period, and if it's late, take a pregnancy test. If you're worried about your discharge, you should probably call your doctor and ask about it--strange discharge can be caused by a LOT of things.
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Okay, well i get my period on the 30th of every month and it goes for 7 days...it's pretty regular..how many days is my cycle? (link)
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The other answer is correct that it's probably around 30 days. I just wanted to say, though, that if you want a good way to keep track of your cycle, try mymonthlycycles.com. All you have to do is track each day that your period starts, and it'll automatically calculate how long your average cycle is, tell you when your period is due, etc.
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15/f
It's embarrassing to admit and I feel like a complete moron but I just learned that you're supposed to wear a condom while preforming oral sex on a guy. I've just started having sex and have gone down on the guy three times without protection and am freaking out. I never knew you were supposed wear a condom and somewhat assumed that it was only necessary during vaginal or anal sex. I never thought of oral and now, the more that I think about it, the more I feel like a complete idiot for not thinking of it earlier. I plan to use a condom from now on but am worried that I could have caught something? Also, would it be strange for me, now even after I've gone down on him three times without, to from now on ask him to put on a condom? And I know I probably sound completely naive but do most people use condoms while preforming oral because out of all the people I know who are sexually active, they've never said anything about it.
thanks. (link)
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Most people don't use condoms for oral, no. Personally, I find it very hard to do--I hate the taste of latex, and it makes me much likelier to gag (which is bad, since I have a terrible gag reflex to begin with).
With that said, however, you're really supposed to, because it IS possible to catch or give an STD from oral sex. If you're only doing it with one guy and you KNOW that you're both clean (get tested to be sure) and that you're the only one he's having any kind of sexual activity with, then it should be safe to do it without one. If you have multiple partners, don't know for sure that your partner(s) are healthy, and/or don't know for sure that you're your partner(s) only partner, you should use one. Better safe than sorry.
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my period ended about a week ago and my periods are normal (they come every 28 days, every month) i've had sex for the past two days and today i was bleeding a little.. could i be pregnant? or am i just being paranoid and it's too soon to be showing any signs of pregnancy? thank you in advance (link)
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It's definitely too soon to be showing signs of pregnancy, so that's not it. I'm not sure what COULD be causing your bleeding, though, so if it's a lot and/or you're worried about it, I'd recommend going to see a doctor about it. You may just be being paranoid, but better safe than sorry.
With that said, if you're worried about being pregnant, then I'm guessing you're either not using birth control, or not using enough for you to feel comfortable. Please, please do yourself a favor and don't have unprotected sex. Not only are you VERY likely to end up pregnant if you don't use protection, you're even MORE likely to end up with an STI, and some of them can be fatal. If nothing else, it's worth it because you'll be able to relax SO much more about your sex life, and won't have to worry about pregnancy scares like this.
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Mother Teresa
Attila
Romeo
Judas
Choose one of the allusions above or one of your own choice and write a paragraph or short situation in which the allusion enhances what you are trying to say. In other words, if you are writing a character sketch of someone who is compassionate and giving to others, you might want to refer to her as a “Mother Teresa” to help the reader identify with the kind of character you are creating. Do not just throw in an allusion that doesn’t add to your character or plot just so you can say you have used an allusion!
I am stumped and have no clue what to wright? I'm not asking for you to do my homework, but I'm asking for any ideas or help you might have so that I can get a good start
Help please I have no clue what to do! (link)
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Just write a paragraph about a character and/or a situation they're in, and reference one of the people listed to illustrate the point you're trying to make. For instance, as stated in the description, a Mother Teresa would be someone who's very giving. A Romeo would be a guy who's very romantic, a Judas would be someone who betrays someone else, etc. etc.
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vagina how to clean it steps and where and how even on my period. (link)
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You really don't need to clean your vagina. It's self-cleaning. All you really need to do is gently wash the exterior when you take a shower. And whatever you do, don't douche. It'll rinse away all the good stuff in there that MAKES it clean, and can actually make you more prone to infections and all kinds of nasty stuff you don't want.
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I'm 15/female.
Here's what's going on... I was in a relationship with this guy, we'll call him Keith. Keith is 20, he'll be 21 in 15 days (no this isn't about age or anything, because I'm mature for my age, he's immature and where I live, we're legal), so Keith and I have known eachother for about 2 months, we dated for just over a month. During that time, we spent pretty much all our time together, I stayed over at his house for a week at a time, several times, and hung out with him all the time. Our relationship was going really really well, like don't get me wrong, we fought and everything but it was the type of relationship where we would fight, but we'd talk everything out afterwards and make everything work. So, what happened was, I found out he was engaged to his baby mama who lives an hour away who he rarely sees, and he liked and was cheating on me with another girl who was dating my other ex-boyfriend as well. So I found out while I was at an all-ages night club, called him and broke up with him. At the club, I was with this other guy, we'll call him Tyler. Tyler's 16 and last year, around March or April, I got pregnant with his kid, but ended up having a miscarriage at about 2 months along. Since then, we've stayed very good friends, and we spent the entire summer together, until we were very stupid, broke into a house together and got caught. Now I have a non-assosiation order with him, and I didn't see him in 6 months until boxing day which was the day before we went to the club. ANYWAYS, so Tyler and I were kissing and acting like a couple at the club, and his friend told me he though we might start dating, and I felt the same way, until the cops showed up and arrested him for a fight he didn't even get into. Now he's doing 3 months in jail, which is kid time for him, and my street sister says she's going to hook me up with him after he gets out of jail. The only problem with that is that I still have very strong feelings for Keith, and I don't know what's going to happen between us between now and then, because I went to his house to see if any of my stuff was still there, and it he couldn't even keep eye contact with me, and he hugged me for longer than an ex usually would.
So basiclly, I can honestly say I love them both. I know if I date Tyler, he'll treat me right and we've been so tight for so long, we know eachother really really well. And if I date Keith, I know I'll be really really happy with him, I'm just afraid that if I do, he's going to pull the same shit as he did before, and I don't think I could handle that again. Plus I can barely talk to Keith right now, because his phone is cut off and when I can get a hold of him, his new girlfriend (the one he was cheating on me with) won't let him talk to me. And I can't talk to Tyler for 3 months .
WHAT DO I DO ?!?! :(
Thanks in advace,
And sorry this is so long .
(link)
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I completely agree with the other answer. You can do better than either one of these losers. And if you take Keith back, you're just begging to get cheated on again.
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I've been in an exclusive relationship with this guy for three months. He's perfect and amazing and our relationship is great. In addition to the emotional aspect of our relationship (we connect really well), we are extremely attracted to one another... so we usually end our dates with an intense makeout session accompanied by other stuff at his house for hours at a time. He's focused on pleasuring me and asks for nothing in return. He only does what I'm comfortable with. Thus far he's fingered me and felt me up, both through my clothes, in addition to some other stuff not as sexual. I am saving myself for marriage and he knows and is fine with this but I'm just afriad we're moving too fast, that we'll do everything there is to do outside of sex before the relationship is close to ending-- we're both very happy and have already made long-term plans that stretch into next fall.
I do enjoy what he's doing and it feels so good that its honestly hard to say no, and he makes me feel so comfortable... should we slow it down? I'm 16, he's 18. Thanks :] (link)
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The important thing is that you're both comfortable with how fast you're going. If it's making you uncomfortable, then you should slow down. But it seems to me like you're pretty comfortable with it, and he seems like a good guy who respects your boundaries, so I don't really see any need to worry about it.
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I'm 16/f. My boyfriend is 17.
God, I love him a whole lot. We just started dating, but we've been friends for so long that it's just like what was supposed to happen.
Except...
He lives an hour away from me.
I'm trying to be realistic here, because I'm only sixteen years old, so how does anyone expect a sixteen year old to even WANT to make a long distance relationship work.
It's just that, all the guys at my school are total jerks. And he's tired of all the girls at his school because they're kind of sluts. And we just have liked each other for so long.
It would've been easier if he still lived here, but he moved about a year ago.
I don't know what to do, if I should bother having this relationship or just stay friends. It's hard to make that decision because he's just so sweet to me, looking out for me. And it's so nice to actually have a guy care about you for a change.
Has anybody ever tried a long distance relationship before? Worth it or not? (link)
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An hour is really not that bad. I'm in a long-distance relationship where we're TWELVE hours apart. Is it worth it? If you have strong enough feelings for the person, absolutely. Long-distance relationships actually aren't any more likely to break up or end up cheating on each other than short-distance relationships, even though people think they are.
Basically, you're the only person who can decide if it's worth it for you or not, though. I won't lie to you, they ARE a lot harder than dating someone who lives closer. But like I said, if you like them enough--which it seems like you do--it's definitely worth it.
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How do I learn to handle alcohol better? I hate the taste, it makes me gag and I can get drunk after to Mike's Hards. Its ridiculous, I hate being the girl at the party that can't shoot whiskey or play beer pong because the tastes make me hurl immediately. Or the one that throws up and passes out after a couple of drinks! I want to at least be able to handle a party well. Anyone else have this problem? Is it because of my weight being smaller than some?
Female: 118lbs/ 22yrs old. (link)
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Honestly, I think alcohol just isn't meant for some people. I've never been able to stand the taste either. I just don't drink, even when I'm at parties. Yeah, people sometimes look at you funny when everyone else is drinking, but hey. There's no reason to do something you don't really like just to fit in. And you can have a perfectly good time without alcohol.
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Uh im gonna shorten this as much as I can but i think more detail would give me better answers so... bare with me.
Me and my best friend met when we were 12. She moved in next door. I liked her in that puppy dog kinda thing ya know and she liked me to. But nothing ever happen. About 7th grade we dated for...3 days i think. She was like its awkward your my best friend my brother whatever. I was like ok its cool. We kissed on a truth or dare thing, both of our first kisses.
So 11th grade high school were 17. Shes dated this kid named *bob* for about 4 years. They break up on and off, he treats her bad, yea. Well i liked her this whole time and it was terrible, picking her up from his house crying at like 2 am. Hanging out with her and shed be like can u drop me off at *bobs* or come pick me up.
Well they broke up for the final time and we started talking serious again for about 2 weeks. then she broke it off and went back to *bob*. Im gonna input here that i was basically her best friend and she told me everything, from sexual to school. Thats hard to hear btw, but i was always there because if she was happy, i was...yea.
Well family crap came up and she moved across the country, in January. We visited her during...July? We hung out the whole time she blew off her bf for me and everything and then after about a week we went back home.
So we txted, aimed, just talked to each other the whole time. She came down about 2 weeks ago to visit us for Christmas. When she got here she told me she always knew i was the one and she always liked me. Surprised me but I told her I still liked her to. So we chilled together all week laid in bed, cuddled, watched movies, all that good stuff.
2 days before she left she said she had a headache so i was rubbing her head. Then uh things got a little hotter and ended up with me fingering her. The next day we talked about it and she was like i let my hormones take control but the kiss during it was all me. Next night were cuddling together and were getting a little hot, but shes stopped my hand once or twice, and her family decides its time to leave. I kiss her goodbye and shes moving back in may and is like im gonna wait for you when i come home ur all mine.
Ok I really am sorry for the long story and if i get no help i completly understand. But my question.
1. WTF do i do?
2. She was seriously into me, i turned her on from rubbing her back, thats not possible.. I know. So that means it wasnt where I was rubbing its the fact that it was me. right?
3. Was I wrong to do that if i knew it was just hormones. Like she kissed my neck at one point, girls only do that if hormones are involved.
Any advice at all is amazing because that means you read all this crap about some random person and you cared. Your amazing, or just really bored. (link)
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First of all, you're a really great guy for sticking by her through all this, and it sounds like you really care about her, so good for you. If the two of you don't end up together, just know that it's her loss, because I'd say she's missing out on someone pretty special.
Now, it sounds to me like this girl doesn't really know what she wants. I'm not saying she doesn't like you and isn't attracted to you, but it's possible that you're mostly a backup plan to her--as in, she's only going to run to you when things aren't working out with Bob so that she doesn't have to be alone. On the other hand, however, it's also very possible that she's genuinely realized her feelings for you and truthfully does want to be with you now. I guess basically what I'm saying is that you shouldn't necessarily get down about it or expect the worst or anything, but do be aware that there could just be more heartache for you ahead.
SO. Obviously it's kind of hard for us to know what she's really feeling, since we're just people on an advice page and can't see into her head. ;) What I would recommend doing is that you talk to her (calling her might be best) about how you both feel. Let her know that you really like her a lot, tell her how you feel, and find a tactful way to ask if she's really serious about it or not. You might have to be a little careful with how you ask it, to avoid hurting her or pissing her off. Some people you could straight-up ask, "Are you really taking this seriously, or are you just using me as a last resort and you're going to run back to Bob or somebody else eventually?" Other people would probably get offended by that. You obviously know her pretty well, so you can probably figure out a way to find out that'll work for her.
Whatever ends up happening, I wish you the best of luck. Just remember: if it's meant to be, it will be. And if it's not meant to be, that just means you'll be a great boyfriend to some other lucky girl someday. =)
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I need advice! please help im 19/f and my boyfriend is 20yrs of age and I we want to make love but I dont want to have it on my house or at his place because of parents we want total privacy and I was wondering in a motel but dont want him to pay or neither do I for just making love should we still go? I dont know what to do...please help (link)
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A hotel room honestly might be your best bet. I understand not wanting to pay just to have sex, but it's probably the only way you can be guaranteed total privacy. If you look, you can probably find a pretty cheap room somewhere--if you're only getting a room for lovemaking purposes, you don't really need the Hilton or anything.
Other options: you could wait till his parents or yours aren't home, and do it in one of your homes then. That could add the pressure of trying to get done before they come home, though, which could dampen the experience. There's also always the classic sex in the backseat/on the hood of a car, but...I'm not sure I'd recommend that one. It can be hard to find an abandoned place, it can be cramped in the backseat, and it can be pretty risky as far as getting caught goes.
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im 15 years old and in the 9th grade ive been best friend with this girl named rebecca, we've been best friends since 6th grade and we were pretty much inseperable! we hung out every chance we could, she's slowly starting to change though and now its like she doesnt even want to hangout with me anymore. everytime i ask her to hang out with me shes always like ''i cant im grounded'' or ''my moms being gay and wont let me do anything'' and then like 20 minutes later on myspace she'll post her status as hanging out with so and so! when she just told me she was grounded. why would she lie to me? i mean i understand shes going to have other friends but that doesnt mean she has to get rid of all of her old ones.i'd rather her tell me the truth then lie to me, if she doesnt want to hangout with me i'd rather her just tell me instead of her just making some lame excuse! i mean why would she tell me shes grounded and then post that on myspace when not only is she my friend on there but i was online too! im her only true friend and she treats me like dirt, she doesnt even talk to me at school she just walks past me and looks at me. she took me off her top and everytime i try taking to her shes really short with me expecially when shes with her other friends. i even bought her something for christmas i messaged her on myspace saying that i got her a gift and that if she wanted me to i would bring it by after my mom gets off. all she replied back with is i have a friend over and then she signed off! i still havent been able to give her gift, because she still has no time for me. i want to confront her about it but i have no idea what to say i dont want her to hate me because she is my best friend i just dont know what to do. i actually care about our friendship and is willing to do anything i can to fix it so any advice will help! (link)
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You need to talk to her about it. Try not to be too aggressive or emotional about it, if you can help it. One day when you can actually get in touch with her (or you could leave her a message on Myspace or something), just calmly let her know that it seems like she's been avoiding you and hanging out with other friends instead, and that it's really hurt your feelings because you've always considered her your best friend. Hopefully in talking to her, the two of you can work something out. But if she continues to act this way, you may just have to let her go and find a new best friend. Trust me, I know it sucks to lose a close friend, but sometimes it happens. Sometimes people change, and you deserve better than a "friend" who's going to blow you off and lie to you.
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16/f
i know sometimes people get tiring of asking these types of questions.. but i have to know to relieve my mind. no, at the moment i don't have enough money to buy a pregnancy test. but my period is supposed to come between december 29 - janurary 5 because my period is pretty irregular and whenever my period last started and ended is where it's supposed to be between ever time i start. yes, me and my boyfriend did have sex, safe sex. we checked the condom during the sex, and after the sex, we also change it if it feels weird. i asked him a whole bunch of times if i was pregnant and if he was sure, he said he was 100% positive, and the stuff on him was from me.. but it's bothering me that my period still hasn't came yet. i may have gotten him scared too, but he still said he's 100% sure i'm not. is it probably my diet change would that still skip a month or something? (link)
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I wouldn't worry about it. You still have a few days before your period is actually even late, after all. And periods can be late--or sometimes we can skip a month entirely--for reasons other than pregnancy, like stress (which is sucky, because stressing out about whether or not you're pregnant can make you skip a period). As long as you used the condom correctly, it didn't tear or slip off, etc., then they're 98% effective, so...there's really not much of a pregnancy risk here.
With that said. Pregnancy tests are supposed to be effective shortly after you miss your period (not any time before--even if you had the money to get one, if you tested now, you could get a false negative). So IF it gets to the 5th (and I'd probably wait a few days afterward just to be sure, since you said your cycle is pretty irregular) and you still haven't gotten your period, save up your money and go buy a pregnancy test. It's the only way to be sure.
But I really wouldn't worry about that possibility too much. You used a condom and you still have a few days left before your period will even be late. Relax. =)
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If I am a 16 year old guy and I'm going out with a guy that is 20 is it illegal if it is will I be able to be with him when i turn 17 (link)
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Having a relationship is never illegal at any age anywhere. Having sex, however, may be. It all depends on where you live. If you're under the age of consent in your area and the two of you have sex, then he could end up arrested for statutory rape, even if it was completely consensual.
Since I don't know where you live, here's a link to a site that has a list of ages of consent around the world: http://www.avert.org/age-of-consent.htm
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ok so i just have a few questions about the plan B pill:
1) does it work the same even when you're not on birth control?
2) what is birth control failure?
3) how do you know birth control failure has occured?
4) if i don't have sex casually, (like, maybe three times every few months), and i'm not on the pill, would plan B still work for me?
thank you to anyone who can answer these for me! (link)
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1. Yes, it doesn't matter whether you're on birth control or not.
2. The definition of birth control failure depends on what type of birth control you're using. For condoms, it would mean that the condom broke, slipped off, etc. In general, it means that the birth control you're using has failed to prevent the chance of pregnancy. And any type of birth control can fail, although some are more likely to do so than others.
3. It's usually pretty easy to tell when you're using a condom. As mentioned, it'll break, slip off, etc. With other forms, like birth control pills, it's much harder to know that a failure has occurred.
4. Yes, it should work the same for you regardless of how often you have sex, what birth control you're using or not using, etc.
If you have any more questions about Plan B, this website has a lot of good info about it: http://ec.princeton.edu/pills/plan-b.html
For the record, you're best off not relying on Plan B and sticking to using a reliable method of birth control every time you have sex. You may already know that, but just a reminder. =)
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