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Fingered my best friend
Uh im gonna shorten this as much as I can but i think more detail would give me better answers so... bare with me.
Me and my best friend met when we were 12. She moved in next door. I liked her in that puppy dog kinda thing ya know and she liked me to. But nothing ever happen. About 7th grade we dated for...3 days i think. She was like its awkward your my best friend my brother whatever. I was like ok its cool. We kissed on a truth or dare thing, both of our first kisses.
So 11th grade high school were 17. Shes dated this kid named *bob* for about 4 years. They break up on and off, he treats her bad, yea. Well i liked her this whole time and it was terrible, picking her up from his house crying at like 2 am. Hanging out with her and shed be like can u drop me off at *bobs* or come pick me up.
Well they broke up for the final time and we started talking serious again for about 2 weeks. then she broke it off and went back to *bob*. Im gonna input here that i was basically her best friend and she told me everything, from sexual to school. Thats hard to hear btw, but i was always there because if she was happy, i was...yea.
Well family crap came up and she moved across the country, in January. We visited her during...July? We hung out the whole time she blew off her bf for me and everything and then after about a week we went back home.
So we txted, aimed, just talked to each other the whole time. She came down about 2 weeks ago to visit us for Christmas. When she got here she told me she always knew i was the one and she always liked me. Surprised me but I told her I still liked her to. So we chilled together all week laid in bed, cuddled, watched movies, all that good stuff.
2 days before she left she said she had a headache so i was rubbing her head. Then uh things got a little hotter and ended up with me fingering her. The next day we talked about it and she was like i let my hormones take control but the kiss during it was all me. Next night were cuddling together and were getting a little hot, but shes stopped my hand once or twice, and her family decides its time to leave. I kiss her goodbye and shes moving back in may and is like im gonna wait for you when i come home ur all mine.
Ok I really am sorry for the long story and if i get no help i completly understand. But my question.
1. WTF do i do?
2. She was seriously into me, i turned her on from rubbing her back, thats not possible.. I know. So that means it wasnt where I was rubbing its the fact that it was me. right?
3. Was I wrong to do that if i knew it was just hormones. Like she kissed my neck at one point, girls only do that if hormones are involved.
Any advice at all is amazing because that means you read all this crap about some random person and you cared. Your amazing, or just really bored.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
First of all, you're a really great guy for sticking by her through all this, and it sounds like you really care about her, so good for you. If the two of you don't end up together, just know that it's her loss, because I'd say she's missing out on someone pretty special.
Now, it sounds to me like this girl doesn't really know what she wants. I'm not saying she doesn't like you and isn't attracted to you, but it's possible that you're mostly a backup plan to her--as in, she's only going to run to you when things aren't working out with Bob so that she doesn't have to be alone. On the other hand, however, it's also very possible that she's genuinely realized her feelings for you and truthfully does want to be with you now. I guess basically what I'm saying is that you shouldn't necessarily get down about it or expect the worst or anything, but do be aware that there could just be more heartache for you ahead.
SO. Obviously it's kind of hard for us to know what she's really feeling, since we're just people on an advice page and can't see into her head. ;) What I would recommend doing is that you talk to her (calling her might be best) about how you both feel. Let her know that you really like her a lot, tell her how you feel, and find a tactful way to ask if she's really serious about it or not. You might have to be a little careful with how you ask it, to avoid hurting her or pissing her off. Some people you could straight-up ask, "Are you really taking this seriously, or are you just using me as a last resort and you're going to run back to Bob or somebody else eventually?" Other people would probably get offended by that. You obviously know her pretty well, so you can probably figure out a way to find out that'll work for her.
Whatever ends up happening, I wish you the best of luck. Just remember: if it's meant to be, it will be. And if it's not meant to be, that just means you'll be a great boyfriend to some other lucky girl someday. =)
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ok wow sounds alot like me and this one dude.. just make sure she likes you not the fact that you can turn her on and do stuff with her. long story short thats what me and that dude were best friends who somtimes got a lil too hot and did stuff. try not to do any more than kiss her and see if she still wants a relationship with you. oh and it is possible that you rubbing her back turned her on cause it definetly turns me on. its normal. hope i helped:) good luck.
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thanks... umm but this girl sounds like she dont know what she wants... but if this was me and some guy i would only let you near my friend if theres something there... if you say you both are feeling somewhat the same way there should be no problem when she comes back in may unless in the 5 months she gets attracted to someone else... maybe she let you finger her becuz all she wanted was to be relieved and maybe she didnt and was really being serious with you and things were getting intimate and she only stopped you becuz maybe she was thinking does she want to mess things up with you... feels me... and if she really wants you her texts and aiming were be talking about nothing but being with you... if it ment to be then it will happen
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I'm gonna go with the really amazing comment.
I get on this thing everyday scoping out the questions, and I'm choosy. I dont answer just random things...
You have a serious issue...and from the woman's point of view, you guys really have it bad for each other, but have kept this odd distance based on what 'she wanted'. What a great guy you are to be there on stand by, you know?
I watched this movie today where this guy was really into this hot chic, but she didn't dig him like he did her, but told her he'd swim across the ocean just to be with her...la la la..he met someone else on his little journey, and he kept talking about this chic, right...it took him a while, but he saw that this other woman was his true love.
Point being is that you guys have the potential to be each other's true love...no more of this Bob on and off junk.
You guys got hot and heavy because its what you really wanted..both you and her...not just you.
Women run on their emotions, and it's obvious she cares about you if she let you get that far..and if I were her, I'd want you to try harder, and focus on what you could do to show your love and how much you want to be with her...that is, if its truly what you want.
You have a long history together, and you know her ins and outs and her ups and downs...You were best friends first, and it's a great foundation for a healthy relationship.
If you can put all that BOB stuff in the past and see if she can too, I can see you guys doing really well together.
Keep me posted...May is not too far away...I hope it works out.
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