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problems having sex
heyy.. you'll probably see this question later on, but i wanted advice sooner.. what should i expect my first time having sex.. as far as the physical feeling, i know everyone is different but i want some kind of knowledge going into it. like things that could possibly go wrong, or things to do to make it better.. thanks in advance.
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
Honestly, I am 25 and still a virgin (waiting until marriage), so I'm probably not the first person to ask on this matter. However, I can give you some technical advice, since I've always thought being educated and prepared is important.
First of all, mentality is the most important aspect. Sexual intercourse is the closest physically a human being can be to another being, so there are emotional aspects that you should be ready for. It will affect you. Be prepared.
Secondly,
A lot of women worry if it hurts the first time. It can hurt, but often, not a lot. Some women bleed a little. The bleeding usually occurs because the girl has a hymen which breaks the first time she has sexual intercourse. However, the hymen can be broken through intense sports or stretched (or broken) from tampon use, but its different for every woman, so you'll just have to deal on that issue personally.
For a man, sex the first time shouldn't hurt.
Sex might be great but it's not a guarantee. Some couples say on the first time they both enjoyed it, others say neither of them had an orgasm, or one reported that they did while the partner did not. Again, it takes a while for you to learn about your body and your partner's. Just make sure you're ready and you have a plan. I believe in waiting for marriage to have sex, not only from a Christian standpoint but because if you are married to an individual who also believes in waiting until marriage, you do not have to worry about plan B, STDs, or even contraception, unless you're just putting off having a baby for a while.
Society today does not make it a big deal, but the thing is, it really is. And you should be prepared mentally, emotionally, and physically for it.
Bottom line: As for the physical aspect of it, it varies from woman to woman. If your hymen is in tact, you might feel a little pain or no pain at all. If your hymen is already broken from sports or something else, you won't need to worry about it. And remember, if sex didn't feel so good, nobody would do it and the human race would have died out, lol. Sex is a personal experience and once you know what it initially feels like, you will learn different techniques to make it better for both you and your partner. At least that is how I feel about it.
I hope this helps you out a bit on whatever you were looking for!
-Charlotte
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hey, hope i'm getting back to you soon enough :) i don't know how old you are or what your exact situation is, so i'm going to keep my answer general. i just hope you are in love and are ready emotionally, if yes, then deff go for it.
being ready emotionally is extremely important. if you're unsure and do it anyway, you will regret it. if you are not in love, you will regret it. but moving on from that, the first time, i'm sure you've heard.. it hurts. you may bleed, it might be a little and it could be as heavy as a period. don't freak out because this is normal. make sure you are relaxed and your muscles are relaxed or it will hurt more and may cause more bleeding.
i also hope you are using some sort of protection. to make it better though, i seriously suggest not taking it so serious. people think of sex as such a serious thing and therefore, lose all the fun in it. first times are awkward, but play on that! if something funny happens, laugh and joke with him about it. i'm not saying sex is something to be taken lightly (esp your first time) but it is supposed to be fun and feel good. trust me, you can't be prepared for every little thing. things may go wrong, but ya know what, you learn from them and the next time will be better and the time after that, and so on. each time will get easier and less things will go wrong and you'll figure it out as you go. hun, trust me on this! my first time, i cried hysterically for no reason and my bf freaked out and thought i was going to tell my parents he assaulted me lol things happen! and then we get to laugh at them later. good luck :)
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well fisrtly you have to make sure that your positive that you want to have sex or your not going to feel good in the process.use alot of lubricant and fingering may help before hand.He may want to try using 2 fingers just to stretch you out.things that may go wrong is that it might hurt so its better that your not on top because that will hurt even more.expect to bleed so id probibly bring a tampon or a pad with me just incase.if you do bleed its natural,its a sign of your hymen breaking.i mean with some people it might not hurt them depending on the guys size etc.people say that the first time might be the worst time because your in some pain and you havent done it before so your not so experienced but after a few times of having sex,depending on the person,the pain will gradually go and the sex will feel better.just remember that once you start having sex your going to want to do it again and again.make sure he uses a condom and it might even be better that you go on the pill..:)
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There's a really good guide to your first time having sex here:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
As far as more specific advice, obviously it would help if I knew whether you're a guy or a girl. But in general, if you're a girl (or a guy and your partner is also a virgin), don't necessarily expect it to be easy going. It doesn't have to hurt unbearably if you're comfortable and use plenty of lube, but it may take several tries to feel pain-free and pleasurable, and it may even take several tries for him to get in. If it does, it doesn't mean you're doing it wrong or that there's anything wrong with you, so relax. As far as making it better, for both sexes, I think the most important things I could stress are comfort and lube. Lube makes things much easier, even after the first time, and makes condoms less likely to break, so it's really a win-win situation. And as far as comfort, what that means will vary hugely from person to person, but the important thing is that you be comfortable with what you're doing. That may mean doing it in a specific position, not doing it with a specific partner, using more than one method of birth control, or just waiting to have sex. Whatever you need to feel comfortable, do it. And I probably don't have to stress this, but just in case, make sure you have safe sex. Pregnancy isn't the only thing to worry about--you can still get an STI unless you use a condom, and some of them can be fatal.
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