grape's advice column | grape's Advice About Friendship

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Q: My best friend and I got into a fight because she lied to me about why my boyfriend broke up with me. She actually told him she was in love with him and stuff like that.. since she KNEW he also liked her. And the reason she did that was to get him to break up with me.. all because of jealousy! Well.. she finally told me the truth.. AFTER she knew 2 other people told me. She thinks im mad at her for causing him to break up with me.. but im mad because she lied.. I tried to tell her that.. and she got really defensive and blocked me. Everytime i try to talk to her at school, she walks away from me.

She and I have been friends for a few years now. I hate for our friendship to end like hers and her other best friend's did. How can I talk to her? I tried appologizing and all she said was .. "Mhm Im sure you are". How can I make her realize we are both better off with each other?

Rea;;y you shouldn't be apologizing to her at all,she is the 1 that caused the whole situation between you 2,She should apologize though.....and you need to call her or give her a note and tell her what you need 2 tell her ok???...and you should tell her that if your old boyfriend broke up with you 4 her then she need to watch him if shes going to keep him around friends ok..:hope I helped:please please rate and leave a question in my inboxxx:GRAPE

Q: As my title says, my friends tend to be really mean to me. We had a free Spanish period today because there was a substitute, and they ignored me the whole time. They were making plans to go shopping for bathing suits, and go snowboarding with each other, and didn't ask me to join them. One of my friends just randomly tells me to shut up, and she thinks it's just a joke. They tell each other stuff and don't tell me, and then they talk about it right in front me. Basically, they treat me horribly, and I really don't need it from them. What am I supposed to do??

YOU KNOW I HAVE HAD THE SAME PROBLEM....my friend was my best friend forever and then 1 day she started too be bff's with some else and now she is starting to ignore mew and 1 day i asked my friend im not going to make you choose but i need to know if you are still friends with me and she said yes its just sometimes its stuff i have 2 do with her too....and she used too wait for me all the time when i went to the bathroom or sumthn at skool but now she pays even more attention 2 her so just ask 1 of them whats going on??:hope i really helped:ask me a nother question just leave it in the inboxxx:signing off GRAPE:

Q: I have a friend. I met her in September and she was really nice for about a month and then she started hitting me for no apparent reason. Supposedly her dad "abuses her" but no physically, and whenever she hits me she blames it on that and her insomnia. Her insomnia is cured, and if she's smart enough to blame her problems on her dad, I think she's smart enough not to do it. So it's been months now, and she's bruised me a lot, in the face once. She threatens people and blames it on me when I get beaten and whenever I get a bruise she says "It prolly just something stupid you did to yourself to blame on me." So she started talking about killing people, one of them happens to be my major crush who I would do anything for, but I can't tell her or she'll kill me. (different problem) So I went to my principal because she'll end up killing someone, and we got into a fight. The principal said she's not worth it and to stop talking to her. She said she's sorry but I don't believe it, but I'm scared she's going the beat me if I tell her. I can't ignore her forever. What should I do?

Really you have been the best friend you can be.But when it comes to her hitting on you,you can tell this has to stop and I hav too stop being her friend.It really really sounds like she is taking her anger out on someone else because when her father hit her you know she is being abused and as a friend you should've helped her see someone.Im really not trying to say:DONT BE THAT LITTLE BACKSTABBERS FRIEND.But thats seems like what you need to do and you should really WARN the other people about what ever is coming their way from her next time:i really hop i helped:PLEASE RATE:ANY MORE PROBLEMS OR QUESTIONS PLEASE ASK ME AND TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS OK??:SIGNING OFF GRAPE.:

Q: ok my friend is like really selfish. and she is REALLY clingy. when she gives an example about something like a good singer she uses herself, and when i say like "or me" she says "o my god! just becaus i said im a good singer doesnt mean you have to turn it around on yourself!" i know im a way better singer than her. and she ALWAYS calls me a fat ass. she also always brags about how skinny she is by saying "o my god look how fat i am in my gym suit!" and i give her a really mean look and tell her to shut her mouth and stop bragging and she always laughs like im kidding and i tell her im not and she says "o my god! just because i think im fat doesnt mean you have to say im bragging!" she exercises soooooooo much!please help i dont wanna kill our frendship

If your friend can be such a witch then u need 2 tell her wat kind of friend she is and how she needs to change her selfish ways.And tell her that it is really killing your friendship and if that doesn't work tell her that either she change her ways or you have to find a new friend.:rate please:hope i helped:GRAPE.

Q: okay so i have this friends hes really nice to me and we always have fun together and laught and we talk on the phone for hours and just have a good time but he always gets mad at me for the stupidest things! and when ever he does something mean to me then he like completly ignors it and is like "shut up" or sumthing like that and then he laughs and acts like its no big deal. and like he always ditches me for some one more prettyier or more popular and when ever hes with them he like ignors me! wut do i do?!? am i oo nice for letting him walk all over me like that?? am i a push over!?!? idk wut to do please help soon

well its klike every 1 says just get PAY BACK. the only reason i said this is becauseno u shouldn't let him walk all over you and this and that. 'cause he's going to keep doing it. so just do the same thing he is doing to u.:hope i helped:rate please:good luck:stop by my inboxxxxx:GRAPE:

Q: aarrrgg!! okay i kno this is wrong but it makes me sooo mad! okay so i am an only shild and everyone thinks that yea i am spoild but im not! my parents work soo hard to make shua im not spoild that i barley get anything! i mean they give me the basics you knoe clothes shelter and food. well i always have to save up my own money for anything that i want. like last summer i wanted a trampoline so i worked really hard and i save up money and bought my trampoline. well my best friend saw that i got one so she asked her parents to get her one and they did! well yea i was disappointed cuz i worked really hard and she just had to ask for it. this went on when i saved up for my cell phone and this really cute sweat shirt and with designer bags and everything!! aarrgg!!! why is everyone soo spoild! idk i prolly sound like a brat but i feel like im being cheated! and she always get the sam exact thing as me the very next week!
help me please

its only bc your friend sees the real nice things that you have and she wants it or you never know that you might be her role model bc some people that has role models often wants to get the exact same thing they have.:hope i helped:rate please:try to talk to your parents more/bonding:talkto your friend about whatshe is doing:stop by my inboxxxx any time:GRAPE:

Q: Im 13 years old and I just started jr. high. I'm in the 7th grade. The problem is that I have no friends and I don't know how to make any. I've tried to be social, but no one seems to want to talk to me. I'm in all honors classes, and the girls in the honors classes are all rich and white and popular. I don't really like them anyway, but i have every class with them. Thankfully, i have 1 really good friend I met this year. She dosnt have friends, either. How can I make friends? I want to be the popular girl i was in elementary.

here's what you can do. if the popular girls are on the cheer leading team then maybe you can join or if you dont like cheer leading then, try to find a club where 1 of the popular girls or boys are on and try and get to know 1 of them from their. so good luck:hope i helped:if you need any more help on this question stop by my inbox so i can give you 1 of my fav. columnists:remember to stop by the inbox:GRAPE:

Q: I have a problem: I am a lonely introvert, and I try to get out and make friends. But my problems is that most people only want to talk about superficial things such as house, car, kids, job, and shopping. While I know those are what most people care about, these topics bore me to death. I like deeper conversations about philosophy or literature. I don't mean to be conceited, but it's hard to find smart people to talk to. Why can't I find anyone on my level? Should I dumb myself down to fit in? Any comments are appreiciated. Thank you!

NO YOU SHOULDN'T dumb your self down as you call it(lol).What i'm saying is that you should just find another subject to talk about instead of what they are saying.:hope i helped:please rate:"GRAPE":

Q: My two friends, who happen to be girls, really like me, and I don't know if I like them as much! One is good looken, and the other is fun to be with, Please help me on what I should do. Thanks!

try ta tell ure friends u r not comftorable wit them pushn' up on u.

Q: i became friends with this one girl named Jenna who was new this year. weve been in school for about 5 monthes now and me, one of my best friends, and one of my guy friends are her only friends in our school. well one of her guy friends from her old school likes me and i dont like him back. he saw me at the movies one night and gets mad because im with another guy, he tells Jenna and Jenna gets mad at me and says some extremly mean things to me, things that a "bff" (as she calls us) would NEVER say. she then apologizes the next day when she hears the real story from one of my friends. i dont know if i should forgive her because she really feels bad.. or shes apologizing because she needs friends at our school and if im mad at her, then she knows my friend and my guy friend will surly be mad at her too.. also she has gotten me in a LOT of trouble.. like trouble with cops.. please help!

then gurl dont hang around her she will just keep gettn' u in truble so i hope i helped.

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chow.

Q: i'm in middle school and we have the popular cheerleaders. Everyone tells me how thin and beautiful i am. And the popular girls aren't that pretty, but all the boys love them. I'm not a cheerleader but i think i'm just as good as those girls. why don't the boys notice me?

the only readson y is bcuz that boyz dont see how special gurls r i mean i once felt that way but 1 day this charmn' boy felt fo me and he said he really liked me and i really like him but wat im tryn' ta say is that giv it some time and that special some1 will come fo u

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Q: Does He Like Me?
Posted Wednesday November 03 2004, 4:52 pm
Hi I am 13 years old and i am female... Here is my problem..So, for a while now, I've had my eye on this guy... He's more like my best friend... I've really really liked him since the middle of last year, I tried to move on but I couldn't, as much as I wanted to move on, I couldn't... I just liked him even more... A couple of weeks ago I told im how I felt about him, it was a bit dramatic, since I gave him this letter which was about 2 and a half pages long, mentioning everything i feel about him... He read it and he didnt mention the letter since I pretty much asked him not to mention it. You'd expect things to get peculiar between us, since we're best friends and i love him way more then that... But things have kind of gotten better... He's been "closer" to me, as in, he hugs me every minutes, puts his arm around me, follows me, tickles me, flirts with me, sits next to me, looks into my eyes, and everything... he even invites me to hang out with him and stuff....it seems like he likes me, but I dont know for sure how he really feels, I mean.. I dont have enoguh guts to walk up to him and be like "do u like me" it might put us in a peculiar stage. So, what are some signs that shows if he really feels the same way about me as I do about him??
-- PoeticxTragedy

well fo 1 he flurts wit u so he deffenatly likes u.

hope i helped

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Q: I have always had one best friend (let's say her name is tori). Recently, at parties Tori has been ditching me for someone she calls her "new best friend". She tells me that I am still her best friend. I hate her friend though! I can never hang out with Tori and her friend, cause every other sentence is a new private joke, so i get totally lost and feel really stupid when they're laughing and I have no clue what they're talking about. Plus, the worst thing is that I've always hated her new friend, and I told her that even before they were best friends. Now I am sure she told her what I said about her, cause she's always giving me dirty faces. Usually I am not this paranoid, it's just I had the first really good friendship with sumone and that s.o.b. is ruining it all! Thanx in advance! Lexis xoxo

try ta talk ta her about the ditchin and u bein left out. maybe she would understand. if not then find anotha best friend.

Q: okay.. my best friend.. lets call him"josh" is hanging around like tha.. idk how to say but like.. the "ghetto" people.. sry if that offended anyone.. but thats what our school calls them..they are really nice people but "josh"has always been like.. the EXACT opposite of them... now he's saying he's tired of being picked on and being called loser n stuff.. i totally understand him.. but now hes wearin his pants to his knees.. trying to do the crip walk(sry cant spell it) and hangin out with them, n talkin like them, and jus blowing me and the rest of his friends off..hes totally changed.. like i was crying for over an hour once n i called him cuz he always makes me feel better n he was just watching TV n totally zoned me out.. and my other friend got in a car accident that mad her cry cuz she was wicked freaked out, so she called him, and he jus watched TV n didnt say ne thing.. one of his other really cose friends wont talk to him now b/c shes tired of it, i dont want him to change like that b/c i know deep inside of him... he aint like that, me n her rnt the only ones noticing it either.. how can i make him realize that he is losing his friends and needs to idk how to put it.. come back to how he ued to be lol?

perhapsly u can show him how he is acting b/c im a black person(a gurl silly) and i no theses things. he just aint see how it is in the real ghetto what? i mean is try to tell him or show him what the ghetto is like.

hope i helped ,grape.

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ps if that doesnt work then try to show or tell him how good he used to be before he became what he is know.

rate me pleaze and thanx.

Q: Things have been going great with my boyfriend. But I can tell my best friend is jealous. I guess I dont blame her but still, I'd like to be able to talk to her about it without feeling guilty like I'm bragging. I've tried to talk to her about like our first kiss or stuff like that but she either gets all quiet or says bad things about him.. like he's a player or something like that (which he isnt, we both really like eachother but thats besides the point). I just really want to be able to share it with her and not feel bad about it. Should I still talk to her about it or just talk to my other friends? Thanx so much.. I rate high!

u should hang out wit ur friend more bcuz that is obviously what shes jealous about so im sayin is spend half time wit ur friend and half time wit ur bf and rate pleaze.

also i hope i helped.

Q: I used to have 2 best friends. Arina** nd Stacie** (** names have been changed) and I know 3 is a tricky number to work with when it comes to friends. So one night me and stacie were texting each other and shes like "i got a bf" and I say, "really, who?" "tyler" then I say, "wuts his last name?" "i dunno" then I say "and let me guess...u never met him before?" and she got all offended and called me a bitch when I was just kidding, cuz she went out with this guy tht lives in P.A and never met him before. So we stared fighting over the text messaging bickering back and forth. And we haven't been friends since June. And I don't think we ever will be again. But the sad part is my (favorite) other best friend, arina, turned against me for some reason and I think its because stacie is tellin her a bunch a trash about me. So me and Arina stopped talking to me and I really want to talk to her and ask her why shes mad at me. Its so painful it makes me cry. We were like the bestest friends. I was more close with arina than anyone. We shared such good times. I just don't know what to do cuz one day arina stared giving me the silent treatment without telling me why. So she just left me in the dark. I do not know how to solve my problem at all. Can you help me? I miss arina! :`(

call arina and ask to please dont hang up and talk to her or if that doesn't work try to pull her aside and talk to her.

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What can i say??? I love 2 give ADVICE!!!

On here errybody calls me GRAPE its just a profile name thats all.

I love 2 give advice about anything you would want to ask me about. But the only thing I want you to do after my advice is to rate it. Thats all I ask 4. If you would juSt want to talk to me then you can look me up on myspace, my URL:
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im on there alot and u can add me as a friend if u like 2 i dont mind. Also e-mail me if u need anything

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hope 2 here 4rm ya'll soon

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