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Intelligent person lonely
I have a problem: I am a lonely introvert, and I try to get out and make friends. But my problems is that most people only want to talk about superficial things such as house, car, kids, job, and shopping. While I know those are what most people care about, these topics bore me to death. I like deeper conversations about philosophy or literature. I don't mean to be conceited, but it's hard to find smart people to talk to. Why can't I find anyone on my level? Should I dumb myself down to fit in? Any comments are appreiciated. Thank you!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I know how you feel. Don't act like an idiot if you arn't. You should try occasionaly bringing up interesting facts in conversations with potential friends- but without bragging. They may be interested. Don't talk about your intelligence unless you have to. Remember there are smarter people out there and there must be at least one in your year. Whilst keeping that in mind, also remember that you cannot be too particular about your friends otherwise you will end up without any.
I hope I have helped,
Zoinatrobe.
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When you start a conversation with someone that you don't know, do you normally start out with a deep philosophical topic? Does anyone? Just because a total stranger doesn't come up to you and start a deep conversation, but instead asks you about your job and where you got your shoes, does that mean that they don't have interesting thoughts?
You need to first learn how to talk about bullshit to get through the initial akwardness of a new friendship.
"Should I dumb myself down to fit in?"
With that attitude you will never fit in. You can't go around feeling that your better than everyone you see. If you do, then you'll never get a chance to see what people really have inside them.
Perhaps that's why you can't find anyone on "your level". Your just looking too high.
This view somewhat offends me because I've always been very shy. This means that when I meet someone, my first thought it to talk about total bullshit with them (Nice shirt; How's school?; How's work?) I usually need to get to know someone more before I can have an actual conversation with them.
So if you met me, would you just assume that your much to intelligent to waste your time with me, before you even know me?
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I'm sorry to break it to you, but unfortunately most people in this world (particularly this country) are superficial. You're not going to find that the average person wants to talk about philosophy or literature. Maybe in a coffee shop you might have some luck. I know exactly what you're talking about. I have the same problem as well. I guess to some extent I do dumb myself down a bit. I have a specific vocabulary that I know I can't use with certain friends or family members. My own brother says he doesn't understand what I'm saying half the time. Unfortunatley the problem is most people these days don't read, well anything good at least. It depends on your age as well. If you're my age...22, then you're basically out of luck. Depending on where you live too makes a difference, I live in South Florida, not exactly breeding ground for the intellectual (I've only been here for 3 years, so my brain hasn't been completely fried yet). I would say there's an equal ratio of intellectual men and women...which is still few...so I can't say looking for one sex would make your search easier. But I'll tell you one thing, you certainly won't find any (well many) intellectual people on this website. :) There are people on your level and if not, trust me sometimes foolish people can be entertaining at least. If you're not in college anymore take a class possibly. At my university at least, any person in an upper division literature class LOVES to discuss literature to no end. It drove me mad, they destroyed some of my favorite novels, but the students at FAU aren't exactly the brightest. There also must be an organization with a book club or philosophy club where you live. Just keep up the search. Also you'll find that people from other countries are more apt to discuss philosophy and literature and you'll have a much more interesting conversation I assure you, except with a Canadian...that might be boring. :) I hope I was of some assistance.
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dont dumb yourself just talk about dumb things!!
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There is a difference between "smart" and "deep". Philosophy and literature aren't for "smart" people, they are for people who think differently. Those are more of the spiritual and mental sides of thought, as opposed to the physical. I love a good philosophical debate myself, but in my time in school I have failed 3 classes.
Just because you think you are so intellectual, does not make you smarter than anyone else.
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no, youd probably rather be breakfast than dumb yourself down to something that is as good as dirt to you. these people that you talk to that always seem to speak of superficial things...well you'd be surprised, they probably have deeper things in their heads than that. most people really do, they're just to lazy to bring it out or scared to have their opinions on things squashed. put yourself out there a bit and your absract thinking. try your theories on your boring friends, who knows you could be surprised what you didn't think they knew.
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I am the same way, i know how you feel, you just need stimulation. I understand you completely, you need to get away from the trivial monatony of every day conversation, its like most people are not alive, they dont think, dont question, they travel through this world looking for the next temperary satisfaction, but they aren't happy inside, they arent honest, they dont stop and think and question everything, they just are, its like, why are we human if we dont actualy live and think? its hard to find people to talk to indeed. but its not impossible, just look outside the normal groups of people you would talk to, look elsewhere. I wish you luck
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never ever lower yourself. it sounds corny, but seriously dont. there are people out there just like you, and you will find them. just be patient. go online, go to a library. go to places you havent been and you will find people you fit in with.
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i'm assuming you go to certain places to meet these lower level people. maybe you should try another place to hang out at? poetry readings.. things like that! good luck, hope i helped!
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theres chat rooms online and people who would love to find someone else to talk about things that you have interests in, but dont 'dumb' yourself down to fit in, yea i know its nice to fit in, but if you dont want to you def dont have to. try the chat rooms! x0
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NO YOU SHOULDN'T dumb your self down as you call it(lol).What i'm saying is that you should just find another subject to talk about instead of what they are saying.:hope i helped:please rate:"GRAPE":
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