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I am 13 I broke up with my boyfriend 2 weeks ago and lately my friend as been talking to him and not to me as much I think she likes him but maybe im wrong what do you think I should do.
Hi,
It does sound like your friend might have a crush on your ex, but that doesn't always mean she wants to date him. It could just mean that she sees him as a free guy and now that he isn't dating you she is able to spend time with him without you becoming jealous. That said, you still seem upset that your friend is hanging out with a guy you chose to let go. So what do you do? Talk to her. You could ask her why she hasn't been hanging out with you as much, that you miss hanging with her now or you could mention that you think she likes your ex. If she does like him, thats alright. She has the choice to date him now because he isn't seeing anyone, but if this bothers you, let her know ahead of time. The worst scenario is to be caught in the middle, feeling like your friend betrayed you by going after a guy you still have feelings for. Do you? If so, just let her know how you feel. You can't be mad at someone without knowing all the facts. Learn the facts, then see if she wants to hang out more.
I had a Friend who was one of my best friends. In fact he was more like the little brother I never had.
About a month or so ago, he got back with his ex, who had cheated on him in the past. He said at the time, he felt like he was making a huge mistake, but he loved and missed her and she felt the same. I said as long as he was happy, I was happy.
Anyway, she recently kicked off at him about us being friends and he explained to her we are only mates and we have a brother/sister relationship. Bearing in mind He's 19, I'm 24 and I am actually engaged to my partner of 6 years and I love him.
There has never been anything more than that between us and never will be, we were just very close. Anyway she was fine with it after he'd explained.
She then kicked off about a week ago again, and sent me a message on facebook pretending to be him, saying don't ever speak to me again.
When I questioned him about it, he said he was sorry, but he couldn't speak to me ever again as he needed to save his relationship. I was absolutely devastated.
I then got a message off his girlfriend, saying she didn't appreciate our relationship as we "flirt" too much. Her interpretation of flirting is a few messages from me saying "hiya sweetheart are you having a good day?" or "have a good day babe"
We've always spoke to eac hother like that by the way.
She went on to explain that she dosen't like the manner in which we speak in and feels it's not acceptable for us to speak that way. I said to her she is obviously insecure because I have a partner of 6 years and I love him. There is absolutely no reason for her to think otherwise.
Anyway my friend said they had argued about it and now as a result he's cut all contact with me. She's told me never to speak to him again and she says that he says the same. She said she feels better now nobody is going to call "HER boyfriend" sweetheart.
I think it's absolutely ridicilous and I haven't stopped crying for days. Not only have I lost one of my best friends, I've also lost someone who was like my brother.
I'm so angry, hurt and upset because I know she's made him choose between us, and while I wouldn't have wanted him to choose her over me, I wish he would have valued me as a friend and told her straight that she is being ridicilous. It shouldn't have even come to this, there's never been anything more between us. I'm absolutely heartbroke, but I've respected what he's said and not contacted him, but I did message him saying that I'll always be here.
His girlfriend is obviously very jealous and insecure.
I just don't know how to deal with this. I know I can't do anything but she is controlling him and it breaks my heart.
When I apologised to her during our conversation for her being upset, she said fair enough, I know there's nothing going on between you. So why was there still an issue here?
He's blocked me on everything by the way.
Hey there,
I am so sorry I didn't reply sooner, I haven't been on here for a while... but I hope I can help now.
Your friend's ex is definitely jealous, insecure and as I see it: very much controlling. I have to say though, that your friend was not completely sorry about cutting you off as a friend. He made that concious decision when he told you and you need to know, that is not because he doesn't want to be friends - that is because it was his plain, simple choice to choose his cheating ex over a person that would never treat him the way she does - you. Why would he do that? I don't know for sure. Perhaps, he had fallen into the trap that many of us have; of being in love with someone only because they told you they loved you, or that they cared, or maybe because they made you feel like you were complete in some way. Then, to take that all away from you like rain from the clouds.. when truly, all he really liked about her was, the 'feeling' of happiness that she gave him in the past.
Telling him he can't speak to you or have any contact with you is like telling a dog he can't have water after he walked all day.. it is going to happen eventually. He will talk to you. I see how your friendship has made you two prone to calling eachother sweet names, which is actually cute.. but with that said: with him 'seeing' his ex again, that did make things a bit rough. If you know she's jealous, you shouldn't call him sweetheart. But, with that said: she should also be able to trust that you two are just friends as well and get on with life.
I am so sorry she took one of your best friends away from you.. you are right in that he should of valued the friendship you two had and said to his ex 'hey, we are just friends. If you cannot accept that then we can't be together', straight up and to the point. Unfortunately, not everyone is as understanding as we wish them to be.. You shouldn't have been left in the dark and he shouldn't have put you there because of what someone else (his ex) said. It was the right thing though, to not message him and dig yourself deeper than she has already put you. Also, by saying you'll be there for him shows you have a lot of respect.
I am sorry to say, she will be controlling your friend for awhile... If she can make him cut contact with you, then who knows what she can make him do. The point of saying "oh i know there's nothing going on between the two of you" was to show that she has all the control. She basically proved that she is a master manipulator and that he needs to find his own way out. All I can say is that eventually he will come around. No really, he will. One day your friend is going to realize he broke off an amazing friendship for a girl that took all of his originality and dignity away. He will wake up one day and she will probly treat him the same way she did in the past, then he'll come running back to you hoping everyting will be okay. When that time comes, you tell him everything will be okay. Tell him he made a mistake, you forgive him, but you want him to know that you would of never done that to him. Until then, let him figure out his own mistakes. And you cannot dwell on this situation, because eventually he will regret what he has chosen to do.
You need to be strong, so he can be too. You need to be someone he can come to when he feels down. Be the person you want him to be, so he can understand what he chose.
However lately I've had a lot on my mind.. For one my dad's health is getting worse everyday and there's no hope of him getting better because everything is a big joke to him... He just found out he had diabetes. My sis has cancer and 5 babies... My mom is as stressed as I am and she works 50-60 hours a week so she's not really here for me to talk to about stuff. I'm in college and I work part time and that's my only outlet.. I don't have tons of friends, but I'm just in over my head... Help, I need somebody.. HELP, not just anybody!!
Hi,
I'm sorry that your Dad's health is getting worse everyday. I know how you feel when you say its a joke to him. My Dad has had diabetes for years now, which isn't a completely bad thing... as long as that person can take care of themself. My Dad tends to drink when he shouldn't, so I just remind him that its bad for him when he does do it.
There are a few precautions that your Dad should be doing to keep him healthy now, such as: exercising, monitering his insulin level and watching his sugar intake. Its not very hard to control once you get the hang of it. People can still live a long life with diabetes.
My Grandpa passed away from cancer a few years ago... it must be very hard on your sister raising 5 kids. My mom is a single parent who has two/sometimes three jobs, works 75hrs a week or more and is killer stressed most of the time too.. but she knows that all her work is to support her family. I am going to school, working part time and I don't have a lot of friends, yet manage to pull through; you can too. Have hope.
If you ever feel like screaming in a pillow, pulling your hair out, or are just having a bad day... you can always inbox me
I'm 19 and a female. ok so every friday nights my best friend wants to hang out with me she's a girl too. And I have a boyfriend as well and they don't get along at all for a lot of reasons so they don't talk.
It seems like every friday they always plan to hang out with me the same time and it really sucks because I can't choose who I want to be with. Sometimes I hang out with them both or just one of them on fridays. It becomes a big disaster in the past because they want to hang out with me. Sometimes I hang with my best friend and I tell my boyfriend and he gets mad because he wanted to be with me but then he goes and does his own thing. If I tell my best friend I'm with my boyfriend she will get mad and do her own thing.
It's just really stressful because sometimes I lie to them and hang out with my boyfriend for a couple hours then go hang out with my best friend. And sometimes it's the other way around. I try to treat them the same. I just don't know what to do anymore. Because they always want to hang out with me fridays. I need help on what to do. Because there's been a lot of arguments with my best friend and boyfriend whenever they want to hang with me and I have to say no I'm hanging out with (best/ or boyfriend). I just want them to be happy. I hate turning them down. Fridays are so dramatic for me please help!
Hey there,
I think that you shouldn't have to lie to make things work between the three of you. There is a way where you can have time with both of them on Fridays, not have to worry about the drama, and not have to be involved in their conflict with one another (for the most part).
Here's what you do: Tell your friend and boyfriend that you hate having to choose between them every single Friday, that you find it hurtful to the other person when you tell them you can't spend time with them, and that you don't want to/will not do it anymore. Then let them know what is going to happen from now on...
Instead of trying to pick 'sides' of whom you should chill with that day (or lying) I think you should schedule Fridays you spend with him, Fridays you spend with her, and Fridays you plan to spend with both of them. You could make it so that the 1st Friday you hang with your boyfriend, the 2nd Friday you chill with your bestie, and then the 3rd Friday you make plans for all three of you (or however you choose). By doing this, you and them will both know when they get to hang with you ahead of time (so they shouldn't have to fight for the next Fri) and that you are treating them fairly. You could write down the new plan (days) on a paper for them or you could buy those mini calendars for all of you and put a big "Your Day!" on the days you are going to spend with just her or him/both of them so you all are aware of the same plan.
You should never have to pick sides between your bf and bff; that is part of what's making them frustrated atm. Your friend thinks you are ditching her for your boyfriend and visa versa. Plus, telling one of them you've been spending time with the other is only making them more agitated and causing them to want to spend more Fridays (than the other person) with you. When they know you are lying to them or that you can't choose, it isn't making them like eachother or you any better.
So: start by using a calendar and mark in the next Friday with your bf's name, then the next with your bff, the one after with both, and then excetera excetera. Tell your bf and bff that this is how you are going to roll from now on so that you can spend time with both of them equally with as little conflict/drama as possible. If your bf or bff doesn't like the idea, just let them know you will be looking forward to the next Friday you have marked in for them. If either one complains that a day isn't working for them, have them switch Fridays with eachother. If you keep each Friday strictly to one person, that person will be happy and you will have a chance to please the other the next Friday.
It may sound like a crazy idea right now, but once they can allow the other person to have their day with you, things will go much smoother. They will be happy with the time they get with you (more than the couple of hours; a whole day) and you will be less stressed :) Bonus: you won't have to turn either of them down
So i'm pretty unhappy right now. I'm in college and I'm not necessarily finding it hard to make friends but I'm not happy with my situation now. In high school, I despised my social situation. All I've ever wanted was to fit in like a puzzle piece in a group of friends that I love to death. I had a few good friends and a best friend (another bad situation, story for another time) and that was pretty much it. I know, you're thinking quality, not quantity but there was not much quality either and neither is there at this point. There's this girl, Julie who is one of my best friends. At first I thought she didn't have much interest in me but then we all of the sudden became really close. I was ecstatic. She's way cooler and more fun than any of the friends I had in high school put together and it made my confidence go way up that she liked me so much and I could make a friend I actually liked and respected (I would never tell her that though, I try my best to act confidently). We're in the same circle of friends and we're all in the same residence building and they're all really cool, fun, and pretty as well. I was a dork in high school and before winter break and during I felt so proud that these people showed a strong interest in me. Well, my confidence has gone down exponentially over the past week. Julia has been paying a lot less attention to me and more to our gay friend Dan and a couple other people, which she has every right to do but it's crushing me. I can tell she's not as excited to be around me anymore. And this isn't just a paranoid vibe. I'm painfully jealous of the awesome relationship they are forming while I'm not really a part of it. It just makes me think that it was too good to be true. I'm not cool enough and I never will be. For a while I actually thought I was becoming this cool, fun person that people admired but now, I think that was too good to be true. I'm friends with all of them but now I feel like I don't totally fit in. The main thing is Julia. I'm trying to tell myself not to let one person bring me down but I'm disappointed. I think back to how happy I was when she started becoming really close with me and how jealous I am of the same thing that's happening with another person. I'm back to feeling like an unintelligent dork again when for a couple of months, I actually felt funny, fun, and likeable. I've always, always, always just wanted a group of friends. Not two or three here and there, a GROUP, who loved me as much as I loved them. My social life has been my number one priority since college and I try so, so hard for it not to be that way but I can't change it. I need acceptance. I need to be loved, and not but awkward people I don't like but the ones I do like. And trust me, I don't act clingy and needy to any of my friends. I'm good at concealing my emotions and needy is the least way I'd ever want to come off as. The whole Julia thing is the main thing that's absolutely crushing me. Talking to her about it is a bad idea. She's not doing anything wrong and if she's truly not interested in me, I can't force her really like me. I'm just extremely disappointed and insecure and I feel like everything has been reset to the way it was in high school. I just want a solution to this disappointment. I know, I can make new friends but it's not the easiest thing in the world and it doesn't resolve my disappointment about Julia. I want the happiness I had two months ago back. SORRY SO LONG
Hey,
The size of a question is no problem. I think the size of the question should tend to be the same as the reply. So, I know what it is like to have the need to fit in with a group or to find that someone you can relate to. If you don't have that, it can grow on you and make you feel as if you are nothing but a tiny speck on this planet called Earth. I have felt the need to be more than one person too. When you say quality not quantity, I can agree partially. Quality is very important, but sometimes it is nice to be able to fit in with a whole group.
Your relationship with Julie gave you so much, yet not what you had hoped for. Some people will appear to be there for you and then later you have to face the reality of their false image portrayed. What I mean is: things aren't always what they seem. I had a best friend for a few years and she seemed like the perfect friend. We hung out all the time, talked about everything, told eachother secrets, had sleepovers, etc etc. Until one year she decided to lie to me, backstab me, use me, and then dump me as a friend for my brother. Some friend she really turned out to be. Point is, we all have flaws. Even though some people may seem to have perfect lives and lots of friends... there will always be something that they aren't satisfied with. Such as family,a fake 'friend', boyfriend, or school. In your case, school groups. You have to discover who/what is real and be with that person/group. They will continue to accept you no matter what.
What you say about Julia; that she was much cooler than you and made you more fun... is silly. I know what you mean by 'she brought out the best in you', but you are still your own person and we are all human. No one is cooler than anyone else. We choose to make ourselves who we want to be because we can. No one decides if we are going to be happy today, sad today, or mad today because of a circumstance... it all falls on ourselves. You can choose to be happy as hard as it may be to overcome a situation. You can figure out what will keep you smiling or continue to dwell on what could have been. You know what I mean?
I really never fit in with anyone my whole life. My reasons are different than yours, but I can definately see where you are coming from. A sense of belonging is what makes a person feel important, loved, and accepted. I have to say, college can be a very hard place to find the acceptance you crave. There are people that keep to themselves and certain groups that won't accept others. What you need to do is seek out people that have common interests and make time to converse with them. If you find the people that can relate to you (expecially on more than one level) it is so much easier to belong to that group. Join a club or go to a get-together where all the students/teenagers hang out. Talk to people about your interests and see if they can help you to make them happen. Wherever 'your' people are, you should find a way to join them.
Please, don't turn away everyone that may seem like someone you wouldn't 'hang out' with. You never know, that person could introduce you to someone who would be able to help you out in the friendship area. You are so right about Julia. If she has lost interest in being your friend, then you shouldn't worry about her any longer. There are/will be others that will accept you for you and will want you to be part of their bigger picture. If you can train yourself to move on/open your mind to new opportunities, you will find that sense of belonging; it may even come to you without notice. Positivity is what you need the most. Even if you feel depressed, find a slight flicker of a bright side. You say you hide your feelings and that is alright sometimes. But, if you do feel like you want to talk to someone different, join in on a conversation, or if you feel excited about something, you should speak up! It will open your friendship doors greatly, leading you to becoming part of a group. Have you ever heard that: if you fall down, you pick yourself up again? You don't sit there or you may get ran over and over again... ouch. Do the things you love, never hold back, and try something new. You can meet simular individuals. Once you get involved, you will be included in many relationships/groups
So i'm pretty unhappy right now. I'm in college and I'm not necessarily finding it hard to make friends but I'm not happy with my situation now. In high school, I despised my social situation. All I've ever wanted was to fit in like a puzzle piece in a group of friends that I love to death. I had a few good friends and a best friend (another bad situation, story for another time) and that was pretty much it. I know, you're thinking quality, not quantity but there was not much quality either and neither is there at this point. There's this girl, Julie who is one of my best friends. At first I thought she didn't have much interest in me but then we all of the sudden became really close. I was ecstatic. She's way cooler and more fun than any of the friends I had in high school put together and it made my confidence go way up that she liked me so much and I could make a friend I actually liked and respected (I would never tell her that though, I try my best to act confidently). We're in the same circle of friends and we're all in the same residence building and they're all really cool, fun, and pretty as well. I was a dork in high school and before winter break and during I felt so proud that these people showed a strong interest in me. Well, my confidence has gone down exponentially over the past week. Julia has been paying a lot less attention to me and more to our gay friend Dan and a couple other people, which she has every right to do but it's crushing me. I can tell she's not as excited to be around me anymore. And this isn't just a paranoid vibe. I'm painfully jealous of the awesome relationship they are forming while I'm not really a part of it. It just makes me think that it was too good to be true. I'm not cool enough and I never will be. For a while I actually thought I was becoming this cool, fun person that people admired but now, I think that was too good to be true. I'm friends with all of them but now I feel like I don't totally fit in. The main thing is Julia. I'm trying to tell myself not to let one person bring me down but I'm disappointed. I think back to how happy I was when she started becoming really close with me and how jealous I am of the same thing that's happening with another person. I'm back to feeling like an unintelligent dork again when for a couple of months, I actually felt funny, fun, and likeable. I've always, always, always just wanted a group of friends. Not two or three here and there, a GROUP, who loved me as much as I loved them. My social life has been my number one priority since college and I try so, so hard for it not to be that way but I can't change it. I need acceptance. I need to be loved, and not but awkward people I don't like but the ones I do like. And trust me, I don't act clingy and needy to any of my friends. I'm good at concealing my emotions and needy is the least way I'd ever want to come off as. The whole Julia thing is the main thing that's absolutely crushing me. Talking to her about it is a bad idea. She's not doing anything wrong and if she's truly not interested in me, I can't force her really like me. I'm just extremely disappointed and insecure and I feel like everything has been reset to the way it was in high school. I just want a solution to this disappointment. I know, I can make new friends but it's not the easiest thing in the world and it doesn't resolve my disappointment about Julia. I want the happiness I had two months ago back. SORRY SO LONG
Hi,
You do realize that you sent me three, count it... three inbox questions completely the same. Just so you know. I will answer the last one you sent :p
So, I'm wondering what to do for New Years. Last year was terrible. I ended up unable to do anything and basically had a really bad night. I don't want a repeat of that this year. What are some suggestions to do? It'll be my friend and I hanging out. I'm not looking for anything way out there, just something simple, but fun. Creative ideas would be wonderful! Please and thank you very much! (:
Hi,
I basically did the same thing as you last year (blah), so to make 2011 more interesting... You could have a movie night (classic): (bring popcorn, candy, drinks, tons of movies!), have a spa night (do facials, nails, hair), have a game night (find a bunch of board games and play till you won't no more; a deck of cards can bring up lots of games), make a prank call (call McDonalds to complain about their food or call someone you know that won't get mad), go for a walk, stay up stargazing (see if you can find all the constellations), make cookies, have a picnic (indoors/outdoors), go to a late night movie, find somewhere new to eat, go mini golfing (at an indoor place if there is one or in your house/backyard), draw eachother, pitch a tent for the night, think of random things and make it happen, or go travelling around the house/town/city where you live with a camera and take lots of candid shots (make a scrapbook later to remember all the things you did!). Go with the flow and have fun with it! :)
All of my friends are really enemies. But how can they stop doing this to me? They do really mean things. How can I stop them?
Hey,
The only way your frenemies are going to stop is if someone tries to stop them. It will take a few tries, but if you let them know it isn't right to hurt people and tell them to back off, they may begin to believe you. They will only change their actions if they believe what they are doing is wrong. You can stop them by telling them to stop (say it loud and clear), by telling them to back off, by ignoring them, or by having someone you trust defend you.
I have a lot of guy friends and they like to feel me up. At lunch time they usually do things like grab my breasts and jiggle them or just touch them a little bit. I don't really mind but I think it looks bad if there are five or six guys doing it. How do I explain to them that they can still do it but not all at once?
Hi,
Just tell them to back off a bit and let them know (by saying slightly loud) "one at a time!" or "wait your turn!" jokingly. They will hopefully get the hint and take turns. If not, let them know seriously that it bothers you when there is a crowd. If they respect you, they will do what you say
I have liked this girl for since 6th grade I am in 9th now and I think she likes me to she say she does. I would ask her out but in the past when I have asked her out she has had a boyfriend ever time. We text all the time in school we have text so much I can tell if its not her but this time it was. So I am at my brothers basketball game and we are texting like usual and she say I really like you. I say I really like you to but you already have a boyfriend so I called her and talked to for about an hour. I was wondering if I should back off or ask her out. I'm 15 and she is 14
Hi,
If she isn't in a relationship with another guy right now, go ahead and ask her out :) There is no harm in asking someone as long as they are single. See if she would like to hang out with you and then just go for it! I hope it works out for you. I hope it works out for you. What else did you want to know??
so i dated a guy for about 3-4 months in the beginning of the year. everything was good but i felt him as more like a good friend than a boyfriend, so i ended it- i told him this, which is the complete truth. at first he was fine with it and said it was mutual. so we were on good terms, we still talked and were good friends still. then over the summer we hungout and he just randomly kissed me. i was shocked but i kinda just went along with it to see what would happen (just a kiss nothing else). then after that night we started hanging out more and went back to like we were dating again (hooking up, sexual stuff, etc) only not official. i figured it was just a casual friends with benefits relationship and it wasn't going to hurt anyone since he said the breakup was mutual. then after like a month or 2 i told him that i couldn't do it anymore because it didn't feel right to me. he accepted it and we were just friends again. then after another month or 2 he out of the random got mad at me and told me i was a bitch and that i screwed him over (randomly). i don't even know what i did that was wrong and he wouldn't tell me. he told me to delete his number(i did). and he deleted me off facebook and everything. it really bothers me that i don't know what i did to him. can you figure out what he might be thinking of from what i said? and i deleted his number but i can get it back. should i text him? its been like a month since he flipped out on me. what should i do? i've tried to just ignore it but i feel like an awful person because i really didn't mean to screw him over and if it was that bad i want to make it up to him. thanks.
Hi,
I believe he got mad for reasons that had nothing to do with you. It sounded like you two were on good terms and as if it was not anything you said. Maybe his friends said something or he just thought you two should of been more than just friends. He did kiss you, so that shows he wanted the potential to be more. Then, if he still had feelings for you, he wouldn't tell you to delete him off your phone and not contact you. He could be thinking about why you would want the relationship to be mutual. I think he was frustrated that nothing more happened, that was it after you two talked.
If you want to text him, I would just send him one text. One text saying 'I am sorry about what I did, I hope you will forgive me' even if you did nothing. This will let him know that you are still thinking about him and would like to still be friends. It really sounds as if it was something he felt that made him act like this. I don't think this is your fault at all, but I can see how you would like it to turn around again. Just send him one text saying that you are sorry, then you have to let him decide if he would like to respond. I think he will want to, for there is something he is feeling inside, something he would like to say, but hasn't. Give him time after you send the message. He will have to think about it and after he has thought about it, I am sure he will come around. Have faith in him. This was not your fault
Me and my best friend are both 15, and basically a couple of weeks ago we kind of just gave into each other. We have kinda liked each other for years just never done anything about it. He took my virginity and I took his, but the condom broke. I took a test 3 times and it came back positive all 3 times. I know I have to tell him
but I don't know how. :( I know he will stick by me.
How should I tell him I'm pregnant?
I'll be seeing him tommorow to study, and want to tell him then, but don't know how to bring up the conversation.
Help??
Hey there,
I think the best way to do it, is to wait until you two are in the room alone about to study and then talk about that night when the condom broke. Say "You know that one day we had sex?", wait for his response, then say "I really enjoyed it and I think our relationship is ready for another step". When he asks 'what is that?' tell him that he is a dad. There is no real blunt way to tell him, you just have to casually let him know. You say he will stick by you, so he must be a sweet guy. At first it may be awkward, but I am sure he will be shocked/happy all at once. If you make the setting comfortable, with just the two of you and then let him know.. it will be easier for the both of you. By the sounds of it, your baby will have a great dad :) Let him know how great he is/will be
okay all my friends say that i should go out with another friend i have you see cause were always getting into fights that dont last more then a day and everyone says we should just get togeather but idk if i like him like that and then we sit togeather and when we fight i tell him to leave but he never leaves and he always tells me he loves me and hes always with me and they say he tries to make me jelous by talking about my cuz that he hasnt seen and my bestfriend now is that a crush or is he just weird like that ???????
Hey there,
It sounds as if this guy is just attached to you, not in love with you. If you feel he isn't a guy that you would be interested in, then don't bother. A guy should treat you much better than that if you do want to date him and just because you sit together doesn't mean there is a relationship forming. If you two are having real fights on a daily basis (not teasing ones) and he is annoying you, that is another good sign to stay away. I believe it is possible he may have a crush on you, for some guys are jerks only because they like you. This could be the slight case here. I'm not saying this is a reason to like him and I am positive that people should trust their instincts. This could be infatuation too, but believe me... it doesn't sound like love
18/f my friend Deliah is 17 and I think she is goin to get hurt. She met this guy when we were at this water park. We were staying there over night and he was the concierge. She talked to him and at first we were all just kidding around, next
thing I know she asks for his number. He's 21 and is really weird. He's rude and I don't trust him. I just don't get a good vibe. Also, he told her how his last girlfriend was a stripper. The one before that cheated on him three times. Then, he says he's in college but not going right now at all, because he is waiting for one specific class. She called him one day at like 2 and he was like why'd you call you woke me up. And she was like why aren't you up yet. And he's like because I always wake up at 3. He sounds like such a bum. Also, he lives an hour and a half away. He wants her to come down all the time. Deliah hasn't told her parents about him. Deliah is a realy really good girl, she's actually pretty prude, which gets annoying sometimes, but she's also a huge push over. I'm really worried about her safety. I knowthis is far fetched maybe, but what if he tries to rape her or something. I mean honestly, what does a 21 year old guy want to do with a 17 year old girl? She just turned 17 over a week ago too. He turns 22 soon. I like older guys too. But not that old, and I'm also 18. At least i'm considered an adult. I know I can't force her to do or not do anything, but what should I say? How should I say it? My other best fried who is very close to deliah also wants to say something
Hey there,
Based on what you've told me, I believe Deliah isn't really thinking things through. I am glad you care about her and want the best for her. The only way you are going to get her to look at the situation differently, is if you let her know that this probably isn't the right guy for her. Say to her 'are you sure you are hitting it off with this guy?' or 'maybe he isn't the right guy for you'. You should say it firmly and make sure that she knows you aren't trying to get rid of him; just trying to help her make the right decision. I am sure she is an intelligent girl, so let her know she should really think about what she is doing first and not just see him because she can. Let her know she can meet guys who she will relate to on a better level. If you have already got a bad vibe from him, that is not a good sign. Always trust your instincts and let others (Deliah) know how you feel. Once she thinks it over, I'm sure she will make the right decision
13/f
i have this one guy in four of my classes and hes so sweet and funny but i think he likes me and i just wanna be friends cuz i like this other guy...so i dont want to send him the wrong message but how do i let him know i wanna be just friends?
Hey there,
If he is sweet, he sounds like he would understand if you told him "you are a great person, and I would like to be friends with you for a long time". This lets him know that you do like him, you do want to be friends, and that you respect his feelings so you don't want to complicate anything for him. If he hasn't made a move on you yet, no need to tell him that you just want to be friends, but if he has, just tell him nicely and everything should go well
18/f my so called best friend Skylar is a huge liar. Like she'll go somewhere with her Friends, and tell me she was babysitting. She did something horrible last year, she pretended to be someone and told this girls boyfriend that she was cheating on him and stuff like that. She is just such a liar. She is fun to be with. But I saw her in school
today and I couldn't even look at her. I'm so angry and I just don't know What to do. I haven't texted her Nd she hasn't texted me. If she texts me I know it's going to
be so hard not to say anything. I know she knows Im mad because I heard she was talking about me. She leaves me
out of things and obviously doesn't think of
me the same. Wha should I do?
Hey there,
Did she just turn into a liar recently? Or has she always been a liar? Either way... lying is not how you make friends or be a friend. What she did to that girl when she said she was cheating on him, is nasty and cruel in so many ways. That poor girl was probly having serious fights with her boyfriend after that and she may have cried too.
I know what it is like for someone you think is your friend, to go behind your back and others backs and be so terrible that you do not want to look at them or be around them. You not being able to look at her... is a clear sign to stop being her friend and find friends that respect you and others. When she texts you, tell her straight up that you don't like how she lies and treats people like dirt. Tell her that if she doesn't stop lying and being hurtful, you will stop being her friend. Since you do like hanging out with her, give her one chance to stop how she is acting. If she blows it, let her go find new 'friends'.
If you keep her around, she will end up hurting you way worse than she already has... then you will be sorry. She is not worth your time if she is making your life miserable. There are many real friends out there that will help bring the best out of you. Once you find them, you will be grateful
My friend and I haven't ever hung out outside of school. I am a 16 year old girl and he is a 16 year old boy. We see each other everyday for practice but now we're gonna hang out outside of school and we finally found time and we are hanging out the 21st and 22nd. I am excited to spend this time with him and we are going to be with other people, I am just afraid I might annoy him, I want him to have fun, but he's a shy guy. So, how do I let him get loose and joke around without being annoying to him?
Hey,
Being yourself will not annoy him. He must already like who you are as a person if he wants to hang out with you outside of practise and he will have fun as long as you are having fun and letting loose. When a person is smiling and doing fun stuff around you, it is hard not to have fun yourself. Making him feel included and welcome will help him be more outgoing, but other than that, it is up to the individual. He will not be shy if you make him feel comfortable
Alright, I have one of those movie friendships. Everyone thinks my friend and I are going to fall in love, get together, get married one day and live happily ever after. I am a 16 year old girl as is he 16. We have been best friends for.. well, forever, since the first day of third grade. We had this little clique, me, him, and two boys that both had turned out to um, like boys. They had since moved away and it's just me and him left from that third grade class. We have our own friends but we are both close as well. Everyone thinks since we are so close, we're hiding a relationship, that we really like each other.
I just want to tell you a few things about our relationship and you can tell me if you believe everyone else or you think me and him are right in this.
My friend is really shy, he's an amazing guy and he would take a bullet for me but he doesn't talk a lot. Leading to low self esteem and hardly any confidence, I really have to watch what I say around him or I know he'll get kinda down about it but when he does I do whatever I can to make him happy, I give him little confidence boosts, I guess you could call them. On the off chance that I am having a bad day, he knows it and he asks, he won't make me tell him what's wrong, he won't push the subject (even though I always tell him anyway), I then apologize for dumping all of my problems on him and making him feel obligated to help me out and he always comes back with a remark similar to "you don't have to apologize, I want to know what's bothering you, I care." We talk all the time, we talk in school, at band practice, at fundraisers and when we aren't together, we text. We talk about a lot of random things and that's what I like about him, he can just be laid back, we don't have to talk about anything serious. We are both in the marching band at our school and everyday after practice, I give him crackers, the same kind everyday because he loves them. Every one said I'm like his mom. The first time I got silly bandz when the whole thing started at my school, I was talking to him about them and he said he doesn't like anything on his wrists, he likes nice and bare but when I put them on his desk and showed them to him, he picked one up and wore it until it broke a lot of months later. I have trouble in a class that he excels in so I text him and ask him if he can help me with the homework or the notes and he would ask me what exactly I needed and he would help me so much. His mom is quite fond of me, ever since we talked for a while at a band function. The last time I saw her, it was raining quite heavy and she told me to not get sick and stay bundled up. Lastly, my friend has such a passion for music, he writes songs and plays guitar. He plays his guitar for me when I'm sad but he doesn't sing for me. Ever. He said he can sing in front of his other friends and he sings at parties but he won't sing for me.
So, what do you think? Do you believe everyone else? I'd really appreciate your input. Thanks!
Hey there,
Well.. I am not so sure about the "getting married and living happily ever after" part.. but it is a possibility. It sounds as if you two have a very caring, helpful, loving, friendship. He sounds like a great guy and if you feel as if you would like to start a relationship, I would definately say "go for it!". He sounds like everything and more. I think that it is cute how you give him the crackers that he loves and it is nice how you do take care of him; and him for you. He obviously appreciates the things you do and the only reason that I can think of for why he would not sing while playing his guitar for you, is because he has feelings for you, but does not know how to fully express them. As in, he has these feelings built inside that probably want him to open up and sing for you, but there is a little part that is holding back.. and waiting for you to make your way in first.
I would tell him how great of a person he is. Tell him how much you appreciate him, the little things he does, and how he can play his guitar so wonderfully when you are down. When you two are alone and his guitar is sitting near.. ask him if he will sing for you. I am positive he will, but if he doesn't.. I guarantee a smile or grin that means he really wants to :)
As for what your friends say.. falling in love is definately the first step on your way to a very possible "Happily ever after"... trust your instincts ;)
I'm a tomboy and none of the girls like to be friends with me and boys I like only like me as a sister?
My brother is always telling me that guys don't like tomboys. most of my friends are guys or other tomboys, they're exactly like me and i'm sort of a misfit or a person who doesn't fit in with anyone else. I have a couple of girls that are my friends. I still haven't had a first kiss yet. And I'm such a tomboy that one of the guys i like called me his sister. I don't like dress,skirts and heels. I don't feel comfortable in them. Most of the girls wear them and it always gets my guy friends attention and I don't ear that stuff. My friends tell me that they don't think i'm ugly they just think of me as a home girl because I like the same things they do and I hang with them too much and I don't dress girly. Is it bad to be such a tomboy that most girls would've dressed nicer like a dress or skirts everyday but I wear jeans and tennis shoes? And how do i know if a guy likes me?
Hey there,
It is not bad to be a tomboy. I wear jeans and runners pretty much all the time, I basically never wear make up, and I don't wear dresses at all unless its for something real formal. I only have a few friends that are girls and a few friends that are guys, but it is alright.
If a guy likes you, he will stare at you, not be able to finish a sentance and then look at you funny, blush, touch your leg/hand/shoulder, sit real close to you, try to make you laugh, or do sweet things for you. Such as opening a door while smiling at you, buying you a drink when you could pay for it, or helping you with homework even though you never asked.
If you want a guy to like you, get out of the sister zone and flirt with him! Look into his eyes and smile, wink at him, or when he is sitting on a chair come up behind him and put your arms around his neck. Anytime you touch his arm/leg it will send a 'I don't want to be just friends' message.
It is completely normal to be a tomboy. You just have to find common ground with people and then you will be friends with anyone. All that stuff about guys don't like tomboys... thats just for those non-believers ;)
OK so i am 13 and boys keep trying to feel me up i keep wondering why then my friend tells me she told a boy i would do anything cause i was desperate.Why did she do this?To be popular! Please what should i do i am dying from embarrisment :(
Hey there,
She probably did it because she feels insecure about herself. When someone is insecure, they feel the need to bring other people down in order to make themselves seem higher. Maybe she is having problems with her home/school life. It was definately wrong to start a rumour about you. Perhaps she wasn't thinking at all..
To clear things up, tell this guy straight that you aren't that kind of person, that you would appreciate it if he stopped this kind of behaviour to you, and that if he tries anything again you are going to report it. It takes courage, but sometimes if a guy keeps bugging you inappropriately, then the only way to get out of the situation is to tell someone you trust.
Try to hold your head up high; you can be stronger than these people. Explain that you are nothing like your friend said, continue stating who you really are, and in time people will start believing your inner self. Not hanging out with this guy will also make people see you in a new light. Obviously this girl is not really a good friend for you if she did this to you. Let her know it was wrong of her and she should have more respect for people. Be yourself, hang out with the people you trust, and don't let this incident bring down the true you. If you let the real you shine, no one will even stop to think about what happened that day