about

I'm danika :) i'm 17 and i've been an advice columnist for almost 2 years i'm not on here a lot anymore but feel free to leave me and inbox and i'll get back to you asap

advice

Nothing has ever happened to me. I've never been raped. I've never been molested. Whatever. But now that I'm developing into an adult, I see that I care about no-one but myself. Not even my parents. I only look out for myself. I'm narcissistic, vain, a jerk and mean. I don't know what to do with myself. I could care less if I have friends or not. And I could care less what happens to them. I'm really antisocial. I get angry for no reason. I never had a boyfriend, so it's out of the question...I CAN'T get a boyfriend. And whenever I try to force myself to be social, it fails. I can't be social. And I fear talking on the phone.

Please help. I don't know what to do with myself. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

the first step to resolving your problem is KNOWING that you have a problem.. and obviously you want to change for the better so your on a good stream... the first thing i would tell you to do is start writting all your feelings down.. it could potentially help or it could be nothing.. but it's a try.. obviously you want to have friends so you can't tell me that you dont' care if you have friends or not because if you want to be social then you want to have someone you care about... i think you feel unwanted or something and your just an idependant person and only depend on yourself and not others which is good to a certain extent but you have to know where your boundaries land.. try talking to an adult or someone you trust... you can talk to me too if you would like.. and i'll try to figure out something that you would do to become unlonely.. i think your selling yourself short. you CAN get a boyfriend as much as you CAN get friends. you just have to find yourself and show people who you really are.. and that you want to care abotu other people and nto only yourself

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My best guy friend, (I'm 16/f, he's 16/m) smokes almost everything besides cigarettes with his 2 other friends. I know his two other friends, and care for them, but not as much as him. I've known him longer, and look up to him in a way, and when he smokes I don't understand why. I think he should know better, and I just have always thought he was smart enough to not do it. Well recently he asked me why I only care if he smokes and no one else? I explained to him what I said above, and he just didn't seem to get it.

Am I wrong for caring so much about it? (I don't get mad at him when he does it, I just tell him that it's not something I like and why he does it and all the stuff I said above)

no your absolutly not wrong for caring so much. i my ex does some drugs and i tell him how much i care and i don't want him to be hurting himself and i don't think he understands very much either...

i would take it as a compliment but then again if someone told me that i was wrong for having sex with my boyfriend or something and that i shouldn't do it i would kind of be like hey i knwo you care but i know what i'm doing... you know?

i think it's because he's cocky and thinks he's invinsible but one time he's going to get hurt and he'll know what you mean... but hopefully he will get the point before anyting bad happens

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Ug so I like my ex still but only a LITTLE. I'm the one that broke up with him. And me and him stayed pretty good ffriends then I flipped on him on myspace becauase he like stopped talkin to me. But he told me he did it because he still likes me alot and I didnt know that and now i feel bad because I dont know what to do :[

i know you DO know what to do. tell him your sorry and you feel the same way because you made a mistake and want him back =] plain and simple girlfriend.

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ok well me and this girl used to be really good friends!! the last year in 7th gr ( im in 8th now and 14) she spread a rumor about me and started stuff between me and alot of my friends! so i decided not to hang with her anymore!!! we've had a lot of fights after that too and we've been very close to fighting 4 real!!!! but now i kind of over it and at a party the other night she invited me to a barbque of hers next month! I donbt know if i should forgive her or what to do ??!?!?!?!!! please HELP!!!!

forgive her.. everyone deserves another chance =] you never know she could have changed.. just make a fresh start

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Today, i noticed that on of my friends (& she is a girl) has really long hair under her arm pits. It's super gross. Now I can't look at her w/o thinking of the hair. I dont want to be rude. What should i do?

that's funny butt i know it's EXTREMELY nasty and all.. but you just have to realise that there is probably a good reason why she doesn't shave.. maybe it's likee against her religion.. when you talk to her you don't have to look AT her just look past her.. i'm sure it's gonna be the first thing in your mind when you talk to her but i think you can handle still talking to her without being rude.. if you know you don't want to be rude then you won't =]

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why is it that when we tell our frineds a guy is hot, alot of times they say "eww!" but then when they like a guy, we think they are "eww!" too, until we actually like them, lol. well, just thinking that the guys are cute.

because you have different tastes in guys.

for example, all my friends like preppy, clean cut guys.. but i on the other hand like hardcore tight pants wearingn guys who usually won't shower for like a week hahaha

so pretty much it's just because you both like different types of guys =]]

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I playfully punched my guy friend on the cheek. Now he keeps saying it hurts, and I should kiss it. Thing is, I really like him, but Ii'm super nervous to kiss it, even though he keeps telling me to. I want to, I'm just nervous. How can I work myself up to do it?!

do it do it DO IT =] it would be soo cute

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16/f

alright me and my friend, dustin, have been friends forever. and like yeah we fool around.. we're kinda each others rebound.

well long story short.. tonight he came over.. and i figured he wanted something.. boy was i right.

at first he said he didnt want anything... and then night went on, we watched a movie and fooled around.. well.. then things started getting hot and heavy and he asked if i had condoms.. i said yea. well yeah i may have wanted it for a long time but it felt wrong because i was cheated on and didnt wanna get screwed over.

also i think that sex shouldnt be the only thing involved in a relationship.. it shouldnt matter. to me its the most distant thing in a relationship.. i guess what im trying to say is that i have morals.

but like did i make the right decision or was that his way of telling me he wants to be with me or something?
i need serious answers.. please and thanks =]

i don't think it was the right thing to do;; but you should regret it. your exactly right. sex should be the most distant thing in a relationship. you shouldnt NEED to have sex to make your relationship better in anyway possible but if your in love. then it should be something in your relationship because it's somethign to share with someone you truly care about and since you said that 'we're kinda eachothers rebound' i think it was just something that you both did to make yourselves feel wanted by someone.

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16/f, my friend, 16/m and I used to be best friends. Then we just stopped talking for awhile, now we're trying to mend our friendship and get back to our bestfriend status. He has come over the past two nights, which is what he used to do when we were best friends. What are some things we could do, I always feel like he gets bored and won't want to come over one day? Anything except sexual things, thank you.

all best friends have indepth conversations about their problems/past etc. watch movies. making likee brownies/cakes/cookies etc. is fun =] listen to music and just be retards. just be yourself around eachother. that's what friends do. i'm sure you'll find something to do =] maybe go over his house because then if you get bored then it would be okay =]

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what do u do when your friends tell you that you have changed alot ever since u got with your boyfriend??
the other day my sister told me that i've been alot more bitchier ever since i got with my boyfriend kyle which was almost a month ago.
and then my best friend just told me that everyone has noticed it.
she said that i act like im better than everyone and im alot more bitchier and everything.
i just dont know what i am supose to do about that. should i break up with my boyfriend or just ignore everyone else??

everything changes when you get a boyfriend because all of your time you want to be spending with them. but i would just listen to things that your saying. maybe you are being a little bitchier and in that case i would think about things when you say them. don't break up with him but don't ignore them either. just think about things before you say them. of course your going to change but don't change for the worse :)

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Okay, I'm 17/m and have a beautiful girlfriend that I've even promised to merry(sp?). Anyways, I have a friend that I was talking to, 15/f, and we got into a discussion. This discussion was about sex, we were talking and she asked me what I was thinking about. This was kind of weird because she usually can assume what it is. She kept wanting to know and then she asked me to email her my fantasies that I have about her. I hate to say this but I do have fantasies about her as well as my gf and sometimes all three of us. I know most of you think thats sick but were all young and young people do stupid things. Anyways, I'm scared and don't know what to do. Should I give into temptation and reveal my fantasies or keep them to myself? Is this feeling unnatural? PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!! I'm sooooooo confused!
Thank you.

P.S. Me and my gf are perfectly happy with each other. We never fight, we love each other to death. We've been going out for 1 year.

it's not unnatural. it's just as natural as fanatisizing about a famous movie star or singer. i would just keep them to yourself because if your girlfriend finds out she will probably be really upset and she might loose trust in you and then it would be all UPHILL from there... the fights will start, the yelling screaming, assuming etc. dont' do it. just tell the girl that you don't have fantasies about her because your madly head over heels in love with your girlfriend

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well i just started to talk to a couple of girls who i used to be really close to, and well there was a big blowout so we stopped talking for a while, and im glad that we are all talking again and everything but i know that its going to take a while for us to trust each other... if anybody has any ways that anybody knows of for me to be able to gain their trust of for them to be able to gain mine, please let me know...

DON'T tell them secret until you know that you can trust them. and heres a way.:

-tell someone something that is NOT true and then tell her not to tell anyone. if it gets back to you you will know you can't trust the certain person.
- tell each person something different but remember what it was that you said to each person so you know what girl you can trst and what not :)

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does anyone happen to know the quote ..
that says something like
let's face it, we've all changed.
& talks about how from summer to school
everyone becomes different
but we'll all be best friends forever?

Let's face it... we've changed. We all changed. Somewhere between summer ending and school starting, we've gone in our own directions. Hearts were broken, friends diminished, new love started and new people came into our lives. We no longer spend all of our time in our circle of friends, we no longer talk for hours about nothing at all. We've changed -- some for the better, some for the worse. Some of us are finding love and others are trying to let go. Even though we've changed, we all know that even though we're all finding our own place in the world, that when we find out love, when we let go of a love, when the tears fall, or the happy smile spreads across our face... we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us and no matter what happens, nothing will ever change so much to the point that we're not all friends forever.


hope that's what your looking for

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ny friend is a little weird
she is kinda braggy about everything
like at school...she'll have a book and be like "oh your so jealous of my book" and shes kidding around but its still really annoying cuz she does it all the time
also she kinda gossips about my other friends and i tell her that i dont like talking about my friends, and she still tries to gossip about them
what should i do? i dont want to be mean

tell her to stop wtih everythingg.. tell her that if she wants to talk about them she can talk about them to someone else because their your friends too... and let her know not to be so braggy..

- you don't have to be mean saying it.. it's the tone of your voice and your body actions that woudl make her think you're being mean.. so if you use nice tone and not in a mean way you shoudl be set. =]

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When you`re friend is mad @ you, is it best to say sorry // talk to them online, in person 0r does it matter? also is it best to give them time to cool down so they`re not as mad or what .. i will rate for answers. anything`s useful. thanks!

do it in person... because chances are they will forgive you more if you do it in person... because your saying it too their face which means your machore enough to understand what you did wrong.. saying it on the computer is what a pansy would do ;] give them a day to cool down so they can sleep on it ;]

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Do people not liike it when you`re sappy like, "i`m really s0rry, i knoe i was wrong" if they`re mad at you. do they look @ it as sucking up? i asked a question earlier on this site. i`ll rate for g0od answeres. &♥; day`na

honestly, it's not sucking up... it's just an apology, which shows that they are ready to sort out there differences and ready to start fresh... sucking up would be like OMG I"M SOOOO SORRY I'M SUCH AN *SSHOLE AND I DIDN'T MEAN IT! then like getting down and kissing their feet ;] so it's alright if you just say "i'm really sorry i know i was wrong"

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I'll get to the point. when i was 6 & 11 i was rapped.Im 14 now but whenever im with my boyfriend and were kissing or somthing ill start screaming and hell be all scared that im dieing or somthing...what should i do?

oh hunny... i'm sorry =/ i advise that you go see a psycologist so you can talk to someone about it and they can help you overcome your fears.. =[

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I think my two best friends are bullying me! They act like my best friend when its just one of them indivally. but when they're both together with me they call me names and then say its a joke and take the piss otta me.
plz help
Madi
xxxxxxxxxxx

sounds like there kinda bullying you emotionally by calling you names... i say you should probably get out of that friendship because it's just goign to stress you out.. if they were true friends they wouldn't call you names to make you upset. that's not what a true friend would do

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hey okay i got kind of a problem here well i was supposed to see a guy that i like who is 14/m who will be turning 15 soon and iam f/16 and i wrote him a letter and stuff put it in envpole and now i can't give it to him because i can't see him on monday because i have soccer. Iam really pissed i've always wanted him to have that letter and i talked to my mom about it and she siad if i don't get a chance seeing him agian i should send the letter through e-mail and i don't know thats right or not because iam like getting all pissed and don't know what to do!!

Thanks Lo

sweetie i'm so sorry i took so long, it didn't say i had any inboxes so i didn't even check =/ plannning that you probably already did what you wanted to.. i agree with your mom.. send it through email.. because if you don't do something you might not be able to have a chance with him.. because he may not think your interested anymore =/ hope i helpedd.. if you need anythign else just let me know =]

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ok, well here's the story. i'm having my 14th b-day party and i am not having a big thing, all my frends r from skewl but 3 of them kno each other and the other on doesn't rele kno the other one. i'm thinking about a slumber party but i dont want to make the last girl feel left out. wut do i do???? help plz!!!

well.. maybe you could invite one of her friends to come with her so she doesn't feel so alone, or just make it a point not to have her feel left out.. do things that involve all of yous and not just you 4 and leave her out.. and make sure if you go into groups she in your group and not with the people she doesn't know =]

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