Okay, I'm 17/m and have a beautiful girlfriend that I've even promised to merry(sp?). Anyways, I have a friend that I was talking to, 15/f, and we got into a discussion. This discussion was about sex, we were talking and she asked me what I was thinking about. This was kind of weird because she usually can assume what it is. She kept wanting to know and then she asked me to email her my fantasies that I have about her. I hate to say this but I do have fantasies about her as well as my gf and sometimes all three of us. I know most of you think thats sick but were all young and young people do stupid things. Anyways, I'm scared and don't know what to do. Should I give into temptation and reveal my fantasies or keep them to myself? Is this feeling unnatural? PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!! I'm sooooooo confused!
Thank you.
P.S. Me and my gf are perfectly happy with each other. We never fight, we love each other to death. We've been going out for 1 year.
This girl is clearly trying to take you into territory you will want to avoid if you want to maintain a happy relationship with your girlfriend. Talking about your fantasies with this other girl is telling intimate things to someone other than your girlfriend, and she probably wouldn't be pleased if she knew it was going on.
Telling this girl the fantasies may also open the door to further emails, conversations, or even actions. If you're looking to hook up with this girl, go ahead...but if you are serious about your girlfriend, better to keep those thoughts in your own head.
I don't know what to say 100%. I know you probably love your girlfriend alot, but to have fantasies about other girls is a bit wrong don't you think? I mean, how would you feel if she emailed one of her guy friends on her fantaises about them? It wouldn't make you feel too good now would it? I see this as cheating. You may not, and your girlfriend may not either. But think about it. You, talking about sex with another girl. If you like your 15/f friend that you had this conversation with, then you might want to consider breaking up with your girlfriend. You don't want to hurt her more than you probably will if she were to find out about you and your friend.
charmed3fanatic answered Tuesday February 6 2007, 12:15 pm: it's not unnatural. it's just as natural as fanatisizing about a famous movie star or singer. i would just keep them to yourself because if your girlfriend finds out she will probably be really upset and she might loose trust in you and then it would be all UPHILL from there... the fights will start, the yelling screaming, assuming etc. dont' do it. just tell the girl that you don't have fantasies about her because your madly head over heels in love with your girlfriend [ charmed3fanatic's advice column | Ask charmed3fanatic A Question ]
christina answered Tuesday February 6 2007, 11:56 am: By emailing your friend & telling her your fantasies about her, it'd be wrong. It could potentially get back to your girlfriend. This girl could tell people, and they could tell people, and then it'll get to you girlfriend, and then you'll be fucked. Not to mention the fact that your relationship will be pretty much done. It's a normal feeling to look & fantasize about other girls, but it's a little abnormal that you're willing to tell someone them & risk everything you've got with your girlfriend. You said your relationship is good. No fights, love each other more than life, have been together for a year. Don't ruin it. Keep your fantasies to yourself. [ christina's advice column | Ask christina A Question ]
icey0990 answered Tuesday February 6 2007, 11:42 am: alright this is my opinion. you and your gf love each other...dont do anything to mess it up! its ok to have fantasies..everyone knows guys masturbate and watch porn and think about other people..not only their gf..but when it gets wrong is when the person acts on their fantasies..it would be inappropriate to tell this girl your fantasies and stuff..its ok to think about them while your masturbating...just keep in mind how hurt your gf would be if she found out through the grapevine the convos you two are having..even if she doesnt find out..its still wrong to be talking like that. i hope that all makes sense..so to recap..its ok to have fantasies in your head..just stay true to your gf definately [ icey0990's advice column | Ask icey0990 A Question ]
caramella answered Tuesday February 6 2007, 10:27 am: oh come ON!!you have a beaaaautiful relationship with your girlfreind and you want to let it ruin that easily?You know,obviously this girl that is your freind that asked you about your fantasies likes you and wants to ruin things for you and your girl cuz she can take that email you were gonna send her and send it to your girl!!you will have lost BOTH this way your freind for revealing your secret and your girlfreind for being unloyal to her.Tell your freind NO.its not that hard.Its ok to have fantasies but keep them to your self if you dont want to end up losing your girlfreind. [ caramella's advice column | Ask caramella A Question ]
Xenolan answered Tuesday February 6 2007, 10:14 am: You are in a committed relationship. It would therefore not be appropriate for you to discuss your sexual fantasies with another girl, especially if they're about her. To do so would put your current relationship at serious risk.
That having been said, it is perfectly natural for you to have these feelings. It's hardly uncommon for a guy to imagine what sex with multiple girls would be like, and get turned on by it. However, it is usually best to leave such things unrealized (and when I say "usually", I mean 9999 times out of 10,000). Not only are the odds overwhelmingly strong that the girls wouldn't go for it, but even if they did, it would wreak emotional havoc on all three of you.
Another thing to consider is that it is a crime to knowingly send suggestive material over E-mail to a girl under the age of sixteen. Maybe she wouldn't turn you in, but if her parents found out, you'd be in serious trouble, not just with her mom & dad but with the law if they chose to press charges.
So, in a nutshell, I think you should keep it to yourself. As you and your girlfriend get to know each other better, there will come a time when you can (and should) talk about such intimate subjects. Now is probably NOT that time, and it's never appropriate to talk about it with people outside your relationship. That is usually step one of infidelity - don't take that step, and you'll find other temptations easier to resist.
One more thing: 17 is probably too young to be deciding on who you're going to marry. It's fine to be thinking about such things, but remember that life has a way of taking unexpected turns. [ Xenolan's advice column | Ask Xenolan A Question ]
xoiiloveyou143xo answered Tuesday February 6 2007, 7:36 am: Having fantasies is completely normal. However, if you have a fantasy about another girl...you shouldn't tell her about it. It may end up ruining your relationship with your current girlfriend. I know if I found out that my boyfriend did something similar to me, it would be over. [ xoiiloveyou143xo's advice column | Ask xoiiloveyou143xo A Question ]
mwalnutss answered Tuesday February 6 2007, 6:15 am: aww you and your girlfriend sound really cute. i ask my boyfriend about his fantasies WAYY too much lol. but anyways. i would not tell her your fantasies (and if my boy friend reads this he will call me a fickle lol, cause i always him there not private) but tell your friend there your PERSONAL fantasies. hope i helped. [ mwalnutss's advice column | Ask mwalnutss A Question ]
Imperialistic answered Tuesday February 6 2007, 4:46 am: No, fantasies aren't unnatural and it's totally normal for teenagers to want to experiment.
As for e-mailing her, I'd say that would be wrong. If circumstances were different and you didn't have a girlfriend, it might be acceptable but sending her hour fantasies is being unfaithful (from a girl's perspective anyway).
When you think about it, your girlfriend wouldn't want you looking at other girls right? But she knows she'll have to deal with that. But would she want you telling the girls they're hot? She probably wouldn't put up with that.
In a weird sense, that's how your situation turns out. It's ok for you to dream about it, all boys do. But sending them to her is kind of like acting on it and that's something that crosses the line.
Anyhow, not a lot of good can come from you sending them to her anyway. Chances are that she has something up her sleeve. If my guyfriend had fantasies about me, I'd rather not pursue that even if I'm curious (which I probably won't be). The fact that she is becoming insistent on you telling her may be leading you straight into another ballpark. [ Imperialistic's advice column | Ask Imperialistic A Question ]
luvbug555 answered Tuesday February 6 2007, 3:00 am: the fantasy thing is totally normal and fine. i would not tell this other girl about your fantasies because if you do, there is always a possibility your girlfriend is going to find out. if you are okay with your girlfriend finding out, you should tell her yourself, because she wont be very happy to hear it from someone else, especially not this other girl. good luck! [ luvbug555's advice column | Ask luvbug555 A Question ]
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