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A while back I started getting really close to a guy (being a girl myself). We became best friends pretty quickly and I felt a strong connection to him. After months of friendship he confessed to me about having a crush on me and possibly even being in love with me. However, I’ve had a boyfriend for over a year and still am very happy with him, so I naturally turned him down. At first we seemed to be able to stay good friends but he has now told me that he feels like he is dependent on me and knowing that I cannot be his really upsets him. I obviously understand that he needs his distance from me to get over his feelings and move on but I haven’t stopped crying since he told me he needed space. I feel like our friendship is over because I have no idea how many tedts would be inappropriate and what I can and cannot talk about. I’m heartbroken at this loss of the best friend that i’ve ever had and don’t know how to act towards him and how to make sure both of us wre happy.. (link)
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I was in a situation similar to this. It's tough because you don't want to see him hurt but at the same time you can't give him what he wants: you. You probably don't want to hear this but you need to let him go. Give him some time to think about it and you never know as time pasts he may come back around. I can only imagine that every time he's around you it reminds him that he can't be with you. And I imagine you're upset because of the friendship ending. I suggest giving him some time and space for now.
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At school, I have a group of friends who sit at lunch together. One girl, I'll call her Sara, is really into anime. She wears mostly anime t-shirts, has a MHA backpack, the whole sha-bang. As a joke, we like to poke fun at her and her choice of clothing: things like. "Didn't you wear that shirt yesterday?" or, "Do you have any regular shirts in your closet?" Of course, we are aware that she is comfortable with this and she does not take it personally. Around 2 months ago, this other girl, I'll call her C, comes to our lunch table because 'all of her other friends left her.' Now, this girl isn't the best: her friends left her for a reason. But we said, sure, why not? Come join us. Big mistake. She has a ginormous ego and takes our jokes way too far. Whenever we try to poke fun at her like we used to, she'll crack jokes like; "This is why your mom doesn't f***ing love you!" This wouldn't be a big deal, but Sara has an abusive relationship with her mother that we've constantly made C aware of. One day, C calls Sara a fat*** and steals her lunch to eat it in front of her face. I decided enough is enough, and we tried to kick her out of the table. She threatened to cut herself if we did. I have a really rough past with this girl, so I said, "Okay, go do what you want, I don't care, you probably just want attention anyways." But since everyone else at the table only started going to the school district one or two years ago, they got worried and decided to give her another shot. I give her the silent treatment, as does most of us, but she still continues to take jokes too far and only cares about herself. What should I do to handle this situation? (link)
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Yeah C needs to find another table to sit at. I'm all for joking around but to call someone a name is wrong. You were right for speaking up and you should continue to do so. If she continues to do so than everyone at that table needs to take a stand and say stop. If it doesn't stop than she can't have lunch with you girls anymore. And if she threatens to hurt herself again get a teacher or adult involved and let them know whats she's doing.
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While at a retreat,I share a suite with 3 other teens and other freshmen high schoolers everyone else was in the lobby including them while I was the only one to stay behind to go back to the suite I went in the bathroom when first walked in she went in her room and got on the phone with her mother I heard remnants of the conversation such as something about feeling someway probably such as “bad for” someone overhead then two other girls followed bursting into the room as if frantic one which I shared a suite with the other stayed across the hall, I came out of the bathroom asking what happened which they both said in unison nothing so I went back in the bathroom the one who didn’t stay in our suite left while the other two went back into the others room. I used the bathroom and came back out then plopped back down on the chair from which I could hear the ongoing conversation and heard “they think she’s weird because she has insomnia” or something like that I know they were talking about me because I was the only person to bring medication, which I told them them the previous day was not for insomnia but because I just couldn’t fall asleep I know what insomnia is and I wasn’t diagnosed with it I was only prescribed medicine. They later returned to check on me but after hearing what they said I returned to my room as if I was in there the whole time and didn’t overhear I opened the door and they jumped as if scared and ran away, they returned twice more asking if I was okay and what I was doing I responded as if clueless and told them I was going to bed. Are these fake friends? (link)
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They don't sound like people you want as friends. If their gossiping behind your back what else could they being saying? I would just be friendly with them but don't tell them any secrets or have any deep conversations. Keep your distance from them!
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Have had this friend name Robert that has been through high school with me all the way and has stuck by my side through my highest and lowest points and has prevented many incidents where I could have been in serious trouble and he clearly stated to me and others that he never gave up on me or left because he believes in me and knows that I have potential and both of us are seniors in our school's band program. Some stuff happened yesterday and I got him called into a room with a school staff member and we talked through my concerns and he clearly stated to me that he wasn't mad at me and that I he and I were still friends and there was never a time when we weren't friends but he asked me bluntly with no exceptions what he could to to keep anything from happening wrong between us again and I just don't know how I can keep things going strong for the rest of our senior year. (link)
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It sounds like you're putting way to much pressure on the friendship. Just be. I know it sounds odd to say that but it's true. You can be there for one another you don't need to make out this massive plan. Just relax and know that he has your back and you have his. You on the other hand need to stay out of trouble whatever that may be. Good Luck!
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16/f grade 10 im from south africa
So i dated this guy and i still liked him and then be told me he still likes me. Then the next day he wouldnt speak to me and this went on for 2 weeks of him ignoring me. Then the one day at school i found out from a friend that he likes my best friend and then my best friend told me she doesnt like him back. I gave her a lot of chances to tell me if she does like him and said if something happens between them she must promise to tell me. A week after this they started dating but she didnt tell me. She told me a few days after because she found out that i saw messages between them. She is sleeping at his house right now.
She knew that i like him and promised hes like a brother to her. I dont know what to do because i go back to school in two days and im scared to see them together and im just really hurt (link)
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It sounds like your friend isn't really your friend at all. I don't blame you for being upset. As hard as it is I would forget your friend and your ex. Meet new people and find a different crowd to hang out with. Your "friend" is obviously not someone that you can trust if she is going behind your back and not letting you know what's going on. Not only that but dating a friend's ex is not right. Don't let this get you down. Good luck!
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In school I hung out with this girl, we were best friends. She really likes Marvel and all that superhero stuff, and I know nearly nothing about it. She was talking to this other girl in my class and they found out that they both love Marvel. My friend stopped talking to me and spent all her time with the other girl. I'll try to talk to her but she either flat out ignores me, or tells me to shut up. It really hurts, and I have no idea what to do. I do have other friends, but she was my best friend, and I really miss her. (link)
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Why would you want to be friends with someone who ignores you or tells you to shut up?
You deserve better than that! No friend should ever treat you less even if you don't have a common interest. There was obviously something that made you guys friends what ever that may be. I would talk to your friend and tell her how you feel. I would also mention how it hurts your feelings and how you miss her. If she disregards you or doesn't acknowledge your feelings leave her be. I know it will be hard but you can't make someone be your friend but you should never let someone treat you badly I don't care who it is. Know your worth and hang out with your other friends! Good luck and I hope everything works out!
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So, for my Gr 12 Prom,(dinner and dance) I am sitting at a table with my 4 best friends and this one really annoying girl. As in, the table seats 10, but after she joined, no one else wanted to sit with us.
Yes I know, we should be nice and all that, and honestly I have tried. I do my best to be as nice as I can. But seriously, this is prom. It only happens once. And there is no way she is going to leave us alone! I just want to be able to enjoy the night with my friends without someone extra butting in on our conversations, making them all about her.
She just has no appreciation for personal space, common sense manners, or other people's opinions. She won't take a hint, but if you outright tell her that she needs to tone it down/give you some space she will get really upset.
She takes over conversations, butting in to private conversations, and wants all the attention to be on her.
How do I enjoy prom night with my friends? I don't want to be rude to her, but I also would like to not spend the entire night with her yakking in my ear... (link)
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I totally know what you mean! When I was in grade school there was a girl that would never leave me and my friends alone. I was always told to be nice to her but at times nice doesn't always win. Have you tried having a heart to heart with her? I know she might get upset but that's on her. I've realized that you can't be afraid to tell people how you feel. And I'm not saying you should be completely honest about everything but just let her know how you feel. If she overreacts thats on her not you. I hope you have fun! Good luck!
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I'm in 7th grade. My friend (who is in 7th) has a friend in 8th. She's super annoying. She is always talking about how emo she is. I went through an emo phase in 6th grade, I mean I still wear black, listen to the music, etc and I don't think I'll ever shake off the scene queen image I created for myself, but I stopped trying which made everyone categorize me farther into emo. I also obsess over tv shows, books, and movies which I guess doesn't help. But holy shit, was I really that annoying because fuck, she says every two seconds how she's an emo fangirl. And every time she does/doesn't do something she says she did/didn't do it because she's emo. Think of Raven and Tara and that's her. How do I make her stop? (link)
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"To accept the things I cannot change and wisdom to know the difference".
You can't change someone even though you may not agree with them. It sounds like your friend is just trying to find herself. Junior high is really a time where people try to find themselves (who they are or what they like). Maybe instead of getting annoyed try changing the subject. Or maybe talk to her about how you feel in a nice way. What is it that you like about your friend? There is always going to be something that bothers you but instead of focusing on that try focusing on the good.
Good luck!
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I had this friend that we'll refer to as "Ryan". I met Ryan 2 years ago and we didn't really talk until 2014 when I decided to talk to him more and more often. Then August of this most recent year I was dumb enough to make up something by telling him that I wanted to have sex with him. We didn't talk for months and this month his friends told me that he said that he didn't hate me but that he had no interest in communicating with me. I'm not satisfied with that because no matter what I do I still have the thought of it stuck in my head and it's hurting me emotionally and he's just ignoring people that bring it up. I'm also a guy if that's helps with anything. (link)
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I think you know what the answer is. If a guy is interested in you he will contact you. It sounds to me like Ryan needed some space and that he isn't interested. It's better to leave it as is. If he wants to talk to you then he will come to you. For right now he doesn't want any communication and you need to respect that. If you care about him like you say you do you'll leave him alone. After all there are other fish in the sea.
Peace & Love,
Advice Mistress
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Hi so I have a friend who is in the group of friends that I'm in. She is such a nice and loyal friend, but the rest of the group don't really consider her their friend. Now don't get me wrong my group of friends are really nice and caring, I don't know why they don't but they don't really invite her to things that we do. When I did stick up for her and try to tell them that she should be invited to these things they just didn't really say anything because they don't like drama. So we have organised a big get together that everyone in our group is going to, but the person who organised it didn't invite her. I asked her if she invited her and she said that it's too many people. I think I will just not go to this gathering, and do something with her instead, but I'm really not sure because I will miss out on things that they will probably talk about a lot. I don't like drama either and I think they find it annoying that I keep telling them we should include her more. I don't want to miss out on it but I think it might be the right thing to do. I'm not sure. What do you think I should do? (link)
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You're an amazing friend!
Good for you in wanting to include her and stick up for her. She's really lucky to have a friend like you. It's a tough situation but I think you are making the right choice. And as for your other friends they say they don't like "drama"..but it sounds to me like they are the ones starting it. Not including someone that hangs out with you is mean. So everyone else is going but not her? You think she won't find out? The fact that you'd rather spend time with her shows the type of friend you are.
Peace & Love,
Advice Mistress
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Hi I'm 16 years old and recently I have been on summer vacation, in the beginnings of summer I had this friend who would constantly call me every day or at least every two-three days twice. In July I didn't mind it because I wasn't busy and I was bored so I'd answer her phone calls but now that it's August back to school is next week I've been busy. She calls me 24/7 and I'm not exaggerating in July I went to a party and she called me after I told I was at the party. The next day I went on a walk with my friend she called!!, I went to the mall with my family she called!! The list goes on and on. So finally August I just dodged all her calls because enough was enough because she always talked about the same thing and I was just done with it. Now she's mad at me and I can tell because I texted her saying I went to another country (went to Buffalo, USA) from Canada which where I live is a 3 hour drive and all she said was "lol" then I told her I'd call her on Monday and she never replied since. What do I do to get her to stop calling without getting her mad? School starts next Tuesday (link)
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Have you ever questioned why she was calling so much? Does she have other friends? My feeling is she might be lonely however that does not justify the amount of times she calls you. I would try to have a talk with her not over text but over the phone or face to face. Just be honest with her and nicely suggest that she needs to tone down calling you or texting you. Every once in awhile is okay. Make sure to be nice about it and if she doesn't get the picture then I would ignore her.
Good Luck!
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so my really close friend was taking to my other friend and my other friend say "oh I have a lot of pimples" and my close friend said "u must have gotten them from rose" should I confront my close friend? (link)
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If I was you I wouldn't consider any of these people as your friends. Kind of crappy to talk behind someone's back. If you really want to, you can confront them and ask why they would say that. I think this gives you an idea of who you can trust.
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I am feeling so lonely , all of my friends are boring and they ignore me for no reason .. i just need to make new friends .....but i just cant find (link)
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Well maybe find a group to join or get into something you like to do (sports, dance, arts, etc). By doing something you like to do with others you can connect faster because you have something in common. Maybe find a club to join. Be active and I'm sure you'll find some other friends to hang out with. Good luck!
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See this is a long story. It all started yesterday when one my good friends didn't invite me to her birthday party. I found after over hearing a conversation between 2 others who I talk to. I was really pissed but then I became more pissed when a majority of the school started to block me on instagram and Facebook. Then I got pissed and wrote a status on how selfish people could be which led to my "friend" messaging me saying to couldn't invite me due to my social anxiety disorder.i said I didn't care about the party but I cared how she lied to me. She said she saw the status also her parents and said we can't be close friends anymore. I was very upset and told her how I got too much going on (grandparents dying, dad not being around, being in the closet, etc) she said it wasn't an excuse to b mean to her. The status wasn't targeting her but to everyone in my life. She said she still cares about me but if she cared about me she wouldn't leave me. I have had 2 really close friends of mine leave me too and she was the only one left. It bothers me a lot because I'm not well liked at school. I want school to be fun becaus my home life isn't show great. What should I do I want to say something to her but what do I say (link)
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I know this may not be the advice you want but its something that I have learned over the years. It's a pretty crappy thing that she did to you. If she is your friend there should be nothing stopping her from inviting you places or to parties. That's not a real friend right there. A real friend is someone that supports you no matter what and will be there for you no matter what. If someone wants to walk out of your life let them go. When she realizes what she did she'll find out what she's missing and by that time it'll be too late.
Also you should take a lesson from this...maybe it's not best to post anything like that on facebook because sometimes it can get you into trouble. Good luck!
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I am a twelve year old girl from nz. One of my friends is super sensitive. Every time she asks me to sit next to her and I say no coz I want to sit next to someone else, (or something like that) she gets really pissed off and won't talk to me for the rest of the day. She always exaggerates everything and gets annoyed at me for the slightest thing. What can I do she's so annoying! (link)
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Have you ever talked to her about this? Have you ever said how it bothers you?
It sounds like your friend maybe doesn't have anyone else to sit with and feels uncomfortable asking someone else. In a way its good and on the other hand its not. Maybe suggest to her on sitting with someone else and picking a day where you two can sit together. Its not fair how she gets mad at you for wanting to sit with someone else. Try and come to an agreement and if she isn't up for that that it sounds like there is no pleasing her so I would o what you want at the point. Good luck!
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I had a Friend who was one of my best friends. In fact he was more like the little brother I never had.
About a month or so ago, he got back with his ex, who had cheated on him in the past. He said at the time, he felt like he was making a huge mistake, but he loved and missed her and she felt the same. I said as long as he was happy, I was happy.
Anyway, she recently kicked off at him about us being friends and he explained to her we are only mates and we have a brother/sister relationship. Bearing in mind He's 19, I'm 24 and I am actually engaged to my partner of 6 years and I love him.
There has never been anything more than that between us and never will be, we were just very close. Anyway she was fine with it after he'd explained.
She then kicked off about a week ago again, and sent me a message on facebook pretending to be him, saying don't ever speak to me again.
When I questioned him about it, he said he was sorry, but he couldn't speak to me ever again as he needed to save his relationship. I was absolutely devastated.
I then got a message off his girlfriend, saying she didn't appreciate our relationship as we "flirt" too much. Her interpretation of flirting is a few messages from me saying "hiya sweetheart are you having a good day?" or "have a good day babe"
We've always spoke to eac hother like that by the way.
She went on to explain that she dosen't like the manner in which we speak in and feels it's not acceptable for us to speak that way. I said to her she is obviously insecure because I have a partner of 6 years and I love him. There is absolutely no reason for her to think otherwise.
Anyway my friend said they had argued about it and now as a result he's cut all contact with me. She's told me never to speak to him again and she says that he says the same. She said she feels better now nobody is going to call "HER boyfriend" sweetheart.
I think it's absolutely ridicilous and I haven't stopped crying for days. Not only have I lost one of my best friends, I've also lost someone who was like my brother.
I'm so angry, hurt and upset because I know she's made him choose between us, and while I wouldn't have wanted him to choose her over me, I wish he would have valued me as a friend and told her straight that she is being ridicilous. It shouldn't have even come to this, there's never been anything more between us. I'm absolutely heartbroke, but I've respected what he's said and not contacted him, but I did message him saying that I'll always be here.
His girlfriend is obviously very jealous and insecure.
I just don't know how to deal with this. I know I can't do anything but she is controlling him and it breaks my heart.
When I apologised to her during our conversation for her being upset, she said fair enough, I know there's nothing going on between you. So why was there still an issue here?
He's blocked me on everything by the way. (link)
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You're right theres nothing you can do sadly. His girlfriend just seems really insecure within the relationship and its really unhealthy. If something needs to change its really your friend who would need to stand up to her and it doesn't look like he is. I know how you feel I've lost some friends when they've been in relationships before and it stinks. I remember I made a friend in college and he would secretly hang out with me and my friends. We would take pictures and post them on facebook but he wasn't allowed to be tagged in them for fear his girlfriend who freak out. Unfortunately there are some girls who just can't take it when there is a friend that happens to be a girl its like its a threat. In a weird sort of way I guess you could take it as a compliment...you have something that she lacks. I know it may be hard but I think you should just keep doing what you're doing and try not to let it bother you. Easier said then done I know. I have a friend who is like a brother to me and we are going through something similar and it kills me that he's not talking to me. I realize though that I can make him my main focus and that I need to keep going. I'm sorry that this is happening to you and I wish there was more I could say but unfortunately there is nothing else that can be done. Take care of yourself and good luck!
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right mt friend is always pushing me out of the group of friends she think shes all it but she isent i think im getting into the wrong crowed deffo with her in the group what shall i do guys??? (link)
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I think the best thing to do is find a new group group of friends. I realize that may be scary and different but you could find people that share the same interest as you. Friends don't treat friends like that and in the end you're realizing you don't deserve to be treated like that. Good luck!
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My friends talk about me behind my back, and they end up dissing me for this other girl.
Ok, so here's the deal:
Me and this girl(Lucy) used to be the BESTEST of friends back in elementry school. But, after I met 2 other girls,(Hannah and Mya) she has been trying to seperate all of us. Now, Hannah and Mya diss me for Lucy! We ALL have all the same classes together. So, how do I get them to hang out with me again? (link)
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Well what's your deifnition of a friend? A friend is certainly not someone who is going to talk behind your back. Yes you may have some fights here and there but a friend will never hurt you. Oprah has always said 'love never hurts' so if you have some hurting you they don't really care about your feelings. Don't you want to find friends who are good to you and treat you well? What I would do is confront them and ask them what's going on. If they keep 'dissing' you then I would stay away from them and find some new friends. Good luck and I hope it works out for you!
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Hey, this question is something that I get a lot and used to get quite frequently because my best friend is a guy. I just want to know what your feelings are on guy/girl friendships. Do you think they can just be friends forever? Will they eventually fall for one another? Will sexual tension get the best of them? I've heard them all, my friend and I have been best friends since third grade and are now seniors in high school and everyone, even outside our circle of friends thinks that some day, some how, we are gonna date because guy/girl friendships are impossible. I disagree, as does he. What do you think? (link)
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You can be a guy and girl and just be friends! People are so stereotypical and maybe even hope that it might happen. My best friend is a guy and we've been best friends for 10 years. We use to get 'when will you date?' 'are you going to get married?' and all that over stuff. At first it pissed me off and then I thought who cares what they think? I know he's my friend and that's all he'll ever be. I'm not attracted to him like that if anything he's just like a brother to me. Ignore what people may say!
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17/F
Me and this girl were really good friends, I told her things about a guy i used to be friends with a few years back, a lot of "secrets/personal information" And she promised not to tell anyone about it especially him. Well she ended up texting him all the time, and tried to become his friend. Then one day when I wasn't at school went up to him and said "you really need to text her she complains to me about you all the time" My best friend told me that he overheard their conversation. So i texted her after i found out to ask her why she did that and she freaked out saying that my best friend was a liar and all this stuff. then went to bed. I was going to forgive her if she said sorry within the next few days, but she didnt she freaked out about it more and turned it around on me like it was my fault and now we arent friends anymore. It's been almost 3 months and I kind of miss her, I don't know if it's because all of our friends are friends besides us, which makes things difficult sometimes. I just wish she would apologize to me, what should I do? Try and be her friend again, or what? (link)
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Why would you want to be friends with someone that treats you like that? Not to mention why would you want to be friends with someone that didn't even say sorry to you? A real friend doesn't treat you like that. A real friend admits when they are sorry and begs for you to forgive them. If I were you I wouldn't try to pursue any further friendship with her because she obviously wasn't a good friend if she was treating you like this. I understand you miss her, but just because you miss her doesn't mean that you need to be friends again. You also can't make anyone say sorry to you its got to come from them!
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