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Friend won't stop calling and now she's mad?
Hi I'm 16 years old and recently I have been on summer vacation, in the beginnings of summer I had this friend who would constantly call me every day or at least every two-three days twice. In July I didn't mind it because I wasn't busy and I was bored so I'd answer her phone calls but now that it's August back to school is next week I've been busy. She calls me 24/7 and I'm not exaggerating in July I went to a party and she called me after I told I was at the party. The next day I went on a walk with my friend she called!!, I went to the mall with my family she called!! The list goes on and on. So finally August I just dodged all her calls because enough was enough because she always talked about the same thing and I was just done with it. Now she's mad at me and I can tell because I texted her saying I went to another country (went to Buffalo, USA) from Canada which where I live is a 3 hour drive and all she said was "lol" then I told her I'd call her on Monday and she never replied since. What do I do to get her to stop calling without getting her mad? School starts next Tuesday
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She sounds needy. That just means that she has a need that isn't getting met perhaps that she isn't even aware of in the first place.
In a nutshell, one could say she doensnt have much of anything going on in her life and that saying "Get A Life!" could apply. However it wouldn't help her much. So I agree it might help to ask her the kind of questions that reveal to you why she calls so often.
You know how some people get addicted to 'reality' shows on TV, watching the lives of other familys unfold like 'Keeping up with the Kardashians' and '19 Kids and counting'. Some people would rather nose in on the details of everyone elses life than learning to discover and live their own. In ways it is less scary. Perhaps she feels too shy, anxiety or fear of exploring things in her own life. Perhaps she has certain behaviors that turn off, turn away and essentially kill friendships and you're the only friend she has left..I dont really know. Perhaps she is simply very bored and has nothing to do to occupy her time and her mind. With the school year there is some form and structure to her days but on vacation, there is none set up for her and she needs to come up with things she'd like to do. She may not know of any interests she has yet and won't until she does try new things. She may feel anything she does to keep busy is going to cost money and the parents may not have any so she just sits around being bored. If you really care about her, you will ask enough questions to discover if she is truly bored and has nothing to occupy her time, she has no life. encourage her to try new things, things that even you and her may not have in common. The list in endless. She could even find what nearby agencies take on teen volunteers to help in food banks, programs that wrap gifts for children in poor families, helping to maintain trails in local park along with other volunteers. Volunteering helps to boost ones self worth and give confidence and just feel good about oneself. She could try a new hobby, maybe writing, poems, stories, singing kareoke, making jewelry, learning to bake if she doesn't and then once good, come up with her own recipes, painting, sewing, etc. Or try a sport, take up jogging or join a biking club or other clubs. As I said the list is endless. If she is directed into things to occupy her time and life, and she still persists, you will need to point out that the average person does not call any other person that often, not even their best friend or marriage partner, not unless there is simply that simply occupying their mind and their life doesnt help. She needs to stop calling so often. If she finds she just can't stop doing it, its a bad habit that she may need the help of a professional counselor to stop doing. Yes, you tell her that part too so she is already aware she needs to stop the frequent calling and if she finds she cant, she knows you wont get angry but just remind her to talk to her mom and you;d be willing to go with her to mom and let her know how much of an issue this is, that she's tried to stop and finds she just can't. It could be one beginning sign of an Obsessive Compulsive disorder but there is help for that in CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy. She'd want to find a therapist who deals with that therapy and it means she would learn how to not act obsessively anymore and become normal...if this is her worst case scenerio. It may not at all be her problem, but I am telling you as her friend because if it ends up later unsolved and on going, her Mom will need to know and you can urge her to tell Mom or go with her to talk to her mom and you may share what I have written if need be. Good luck dear.
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Have you ever questioned why she was calling so much? Does she have other friends? My feeling is she might be lonely however that does not justify the amount of times she calls you. I would try to have a talk with her not over text but over the phone or face to face. Just be honest with her and nicely suggest that she needs to tone down calling you or texting you. Every once in awhile is okay. Make sure to be nice about it and if she doesn't get the picture then I would ignore her.
Good Luck!
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Actually its september dear but anyway
ok shes probably calling you alot because she LIKES YOU. So shes checking to see what your doing all the time. Either that or she really doesnt have a life and no friends and feels your the only one she has right now.
You can always HINT to her that she just called you earlier and or you can stop picking up your phone whenever you dont want to talk to her i mean its as simple as that.
Theres no real way to NOT make someone slightly upset with something like this. Just stop picking up the phone every time and when you do tell her while your talking that your about to go do this or that and you dont bring your phone with you because you dont want to drop it or have it get lost. then tell her youll talk to her later online.
If shes mad then tell her you have a life too and you cant always be at her beck and call every single time you turn around.
But i would first try to make sure its not that she likes you in a romantic way or something cause that could turn out really heart braking for her. If thats the case then youll have to put your feelings out there on the table and make shit clear for her or else shes gonna just keep up with this nonsense.
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